Ups and Downs

One thing about life.  It is in a continual flux of change.  

You are up one day and the next, you could be out on the street.  Feeling great one day, die in your sleep that night.  Feeling healthy as a horse on a Friday, cancer diagnosis on the next Monday.  

The only thing that doesn't change in life, is change.  The only constant in life, is change.

I have two "friends" that died in their sleep on Christmas Eve morning.  Hard on the family, easy for the deceased.  Apparently, neither one had been or was sick.  Pam had seen one of them the day before in the store.

Another friend, worried about her brother, with the cancer diagnosis.  Surgery and the doctor's "think" they got it all.  Which no doubt they did, but they never give you a 100% guarantee, because one teeny, tiny little cell could have gotten loose and...........................but we rejoice and Praise God because, right now--at this particular time--all is well.

A neighbor up the street, Sheila's mother is dying from what my own mother died from.  I have never known anyone that had the same (non) diagnosis, the same treatment (none), the same--whatever.  

Years ago, my doctor told me that if we had CT scans and MRI's back in 1970, they could have pinpointed my mother's disease and helped her.  Now, that is weird because Sheila's mother has the same thing, even with all the tests, they can't do a thing to help her.  They have NO idea why her bone marrow won't make red blood cells.  It isn't Leukemia, cancer--nothing.  They don't know what it is or why.

My own son, is feeling well.  The infusion he gets every six weeks has not made him sick or weak.  He has lost none of his hair.  His PSA numbers are nearly what normal would be.  But--next week, it could all change.

We just never know and I think that knowledge comes to us the older we get.  It could be us--any day.  How do we get philosophical about that?  How do we come to terms?  I guess we just keep ourselves from thinking about it.
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So--a week ago today, I was trying not to pass out in the Wal-Mart store.  For months and months, I have had no motivation to do one dang thing!!  A quick vacuum. Once every couple of months, run the dust cloth.

Things get set out on the kitchen counter tops.  Stains occur.  Whatever.  It matters not to this once, organized, tidy person.

Today, I was sitting in my recliner, minding my own business, my Soap just over and all of a sudden, this weird sensation hit me.  I HAD to get up and clean the kitchen.  So, I did.  For two hours, I cleaned and scrubbed and bleached out the stains and then noticed that my big mirror was all streaky so I Windexed it and then my two glass lamps, and vacuumed the whole house.  Moved the heavy cat's table for looking out the window, from my bedroom to my living room.

I was filled with such energy and such a light heart.  It reminded me of how I felt last spring.  I was alive and life was wonderful!!  I have been in depression since September and I "think" today, it might be lifting!!

Now, we won't know until we see how we feel tomorrow and the next day and the next, but.....wouldn't THIS change be nice?