title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Job. Not a money making one--the one from the Bible.

Dar has a new crisis, and of course, it has over- flowed into my life.

She called at 11:00 Friday night wondering if I had an air mattress.  I did not have one and said, "Why don't you check at work?  I think Meijer (where she works) sells them."

"Oh.  Good idea.  I never thought of that."

Her oldest son Wayne, whom she hasn't had contact with in three years, lived in Michigan, but moved to Seattle.  She had no idea until her daughter Connie called and told her Wayne's wife was dying.

Dar's son and daughter-in-law have lived a sort of 1960's, hippie lifestyle.  Neither one has worked for the last decade, instead living on Welfare.  They have two children, now 17 (boy) and 14 (girl) and neither one has ever gone to school.  

When the wife died, Dar did send her son money to pay for the cremation.  A few months later, CPS was going to take the children and put them in Foster Care and into school.  They thought both could start in 6th grade.  Can you imagine, a tall 17 year-old boy going into 6th grade?

Dar's daughter Connie heard about it from her brother and told them to come to Indiana and live with her.  He and the kids piled in their old van and headed to Indiana.

After two months living with his sister, Connie told him he had to get the kids in school or he couldn't live there anymore.  

For the last month, he and the kids have been living out of their van in a park near Connie's.  They move the van everyday, spend all day pan-handling on the streets of Indianapolis and go back to the park to sleep at night.

So what does his sister do?  She reports him to the police and CPS.  Then she calls Dar and tells her what she's done.  Dar thought her son was still in Seattle.

Dar tells Connie to find him and tell him to come stay with her.  Apparently, he got out of there, two hours before the police showed up.  The police went to Connie's and she told him, he had left and was headed to Michigan and gave them Dar's address!!

Dar has three bedrooms.  She wanted the air mattress for the 17 year old boy to sleep on in her den.  The son could then have his own room and queen size bed and her 14 year old grand daughter the other bedroom.  

I suggested that the boy could sleep in the Queen size bed with his Dad.  Dar seems to think everyone needs their own private bedroom--which would be nice, I suppose, but this is a crisis situation.

The family arrived in the middle of Friday night.  I have not seen any of them come out of the house, except Dar to go to work.

Dar also told me that "I am NOT taking them in!  They can only stay here a few days.  He needs to find a job, and an apartment and get those kids in school!"

The boy, legally doesn't have to go to school and will turn 18 in three months.  The girl needs to be in school and find some sort of life for herself.

I expect police cars to show up any day now, across the street.  I see he has backed the van in so his license plate is not visible.
Dar wonders why her grown children are so messed up.  Well, let's see.

She has four children and, although I don't believe in abortion, thankfully she had two or there would be 6 of her messed up adult children in this world!!!

Three of them have different fathers.  When they were pre-teen, she moved in with a Harlem Globetrotter basketball player.  She and he lived in the upstairs of a mansion, the four children were not allowed upstairs, so they were cared for by a nanny downstairs.  She left him when Connie graduated from high school.

Each child, except Connie the youngest, have alcohol/drug addictions.  Connie is merely bi-polar.

Her oldest Lisa 61, is a Lesbian, living in North Carolina, awaiting a liver transplant, because of being an alcoholic since she was 18.
<These two have the same father.  He died of alcoholism five years ago.> 
Wayne, 57, also an alcoholic since he was 16, is the one now staying with her.

Jeff  50, who comes to visit once or twice a year--always needing money, is presently in his 15th rehab facility, 15th--trying to kick a Vodka and Vicadin addiction he has had since age 14.

Connie 45, who lived with her for a year, along with the four grandchildren, is the one who Dar lived with in Greece for two years, then Connie gave Dar the money to buy the house here.  Connie was planning her own "get-a-way" from her Greek husband.

Connie and Dar both have their names on the title of the house.  Neither one will sign off so the house could be sold, which is what Dar wants to do and go live in Arizona.  

Connie won't sign off because she wants to keep her mother miserable (so says Dar), Dar won't sign off because she needs ALL the money from the house sale, not just her half.

Connie and Dar got into a major fight, fueled by bi-polar, hysteria on both sides, and took the four grand children and moved to Indianapolis two years ago.

Which put Dar in a hysterical mental state for 18 months, which, unfortunately overflowed into my life, as I was trying to recover from Fred's death!  

Dar has her own mental problems, as I have posted about more than 50 million times!!!!.  She has been in a mental hospital for 9 months, after she left the black guy, and once for 3 months while she was in Greece.  

She has told me, the only reason she works as many hours, as many days as possible, is to keep her from another breakdown and out of the mental ward.

None of her kids actions are her fault!  The fault lies in their father(S) and of course the black basketball player who would not allow her to interact with her kids.

I haven't had a visit from Dar in two peaceful weeks. I expect one tomorrow, so she can get away from the crisis in her house and dump it all on me.

I can hardly wait!!!

God calls me to help my neighbor's.  He must have purposefully put Darlene in my life to see if I can meet the test?  


The devil has tests too.  Remember Job?


  1. Oh. My. GOODNESS! You could write and produce a soap opera ... based on real life!!! YIKES! Maybe you can blame bad parenting but once those kids become adults, the issues are all theirs to overcome. In my humble opinion!!!

    I hope you post every day!!!!

  2. What a soap opera! Oh the other hand, she's endlessly entertaining if you're in the mood to put up with her crap. Just hearing about this lasted stupidity of taking on 3 mouths to feed...and not just normal mouths to feed...is astonishing. She's taking on free-loaders and she doesn't seem to get that.

  3. Oh, I remember the things that went down with Connie and her kids! I can't comment on bi-polar with having had the issues myself. I hope things work out for the best especially the kids. :(


  4. Dar is such a danger to herself and her kids. And now her kids are a danger to themselves and THEIR kids. Oh, my. This legacy is stretching across several generations, forward AND back. I wish Connie had not called her Mom, and let the police and CPS take over. This might have been the kindest action. I don't know that Dar has the guts to lay down the law. I fear the only one she'll lay into or lay her ____ onto is you.

    I'm so sorry you got dragged into this! Now, this scenario is where I could put my off-putting skills to good use. LOL

    I actually DID use my off-putting skills to good end in my family. I coached my parents and siblings to STOP enabling my alcoholic brother. I prayed as we watched him sink lower, lower, lower, until he was living on the streets of LA. Somehow, in the midst of his drunken haze, he called out to the only source willing to help him: God. What happened next is his miracle to tell. :-)

  5. oooooh my, i did get lost a bit, this is not easy to follow!! i like my simple, boring life!!!!

  6. Darlene's maternal grandmother was abused by her husband, left him and the children were put in foster care.. Darlene's Mother, abandoned by her mother, was very distant to Darlene, but not her brother's. Darlene married young and often (4 times) and was distant to her children.

    It is a generational thing. One of Darlene's children needs to put an end to it and be a wonderful parent to their children, but that isn't happening. So her grand children will no doubt carry on the family legacy. It is very sad!

    1. Yes, it is very sad, Judy. I feel for all of them. :(

  7. They will stay there as long as she lets them. Whew! What a mess. I would not be able to stand it. I'm sure you will be giving her advice for awhile. Hopefully she listens.