SIGH!

From: Karen Rivard
Sent: Monday, January 25, 2016 5:00 PM
To: Mom
Subject: yesterday...

Hey Mom, I just wanted to write and apologize for yesterday.

I wasn't sure what the schedule was for yesterday, but on Saturday Jen had arranged with Cindy to bring Mark down to celebrate both Christmas with her and also Mark's birthday.  I thought they would be coming down for dinner, but I wasn't sure about the details (I only saw Jen briefly on Saturday before going to bed before 6:30 p.m.)  I wasn't sure if anyone had invited you.  When you dropped by my house unannounced I wasn't sure what was going on.

You remember what happened when I invited you the day after Thanksgiving-Jen didn't come.  That's not the only time she backed out of an event because you were going to be there.  It's not in my head to figure that out.  That's business between you and her.  

What I do not like is being in the middle of all this mess.  Dinner yesterday was at my house because Jen is living with us.  The dinner was her idea which I agreed to.  Beyond that I was out of the loop (being in Europe last week). 

I feel sad that you felt you had to leave yesterday.  That is not something I would ask you to do.  I'm sorry that the situation is still very uncomfortable (at least for me), painful, and awkward.

I hope you can forgive me for not knowing what to do when put in such difficult situations like yesterday.

I hope that in the future you can communicate with Jen and Mark directly by calling them if you have a question for them.  You can also call me at anytime, and it would probably be best to give me a quick call before you drop over so I know you are coming.

Take care,

Love, Karen

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My reply:

Oh Sweetheart---There was no problem yesterday, at least none I was aware of.

Jen and I had talked on Monday and she said she thought the kids were coming in for the weekend, and maybe I could see them.

She and I had a really nice talk yesterday out in the kitchen and she told me all about her “commuting” plans for the future.  I don’t think she and I have a problem anymore, at least she doesn’t act like it and hugged and kissed me good-bye.

I left because I figured you kids were getting together for your Christmas or Mark’s birthday and thought that was very cool.  So happy that my kids still like each other enough to get together.

I was just glad I got to see ALL my kids together at one time.

I was tired all day anyway and sleepy enough to want to come home.

I didn’t feel I HAD to leave, or was forced to leave.
I was getting ready to leave  when they all started coming in.

If you had asked me to stay, I would have excused myself anyway.  J

I hope my brief presence didn’t cause discomfort to anyone.

I drove home with a big smile on my face because I had gotten to see you all, PLUS Evan!!

YAY!

Love you, Mom

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So, even when there is no problem, there is a problem?
We are all so afraid of stepping on each others toes that we can't even be normal.  Sad.
I hope my reply to her e-mail helped--who knows