title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Friday, May 26, 2017

Almost Done..........

Almost done and done in.  WHEW!!!

The power wash guy, I call him Guy because that's his name, arrived at 7:00 on the dot.  When I heard him hooking up his hose to the outside faucet, I woke up.  It was daylight outside.  I don't get up at 7:00, so I don't really know when the sun rises.

It took him two hours and what a beauty.  My house is clean and white, no mold on the skirting and got the outside of my windows washed. He even did my shed.  $80.00.

It was chilly and cold, but all of a sudden, the sun came out about noon and I got busy.

I put my pots back in place by the front of the house, got everything on the porch put back together and then hit the little raised garden out by the shed.

A hot pink, purple and Chartreuse color scheme this year.

The Stack 'N Grow, is all stacked and ready to grow. 

Every one of these weeds had to be yanked out by hand.  I don't know what kind of weed it is, but if I don't pull each one, and get the roots, they will be back in a week.

I loosened the soil with a garden fork, then pulled the weeds, worked up the soil with my 3-tined hand digger (my favorite tool).  Punched three holes , equal distance in the back and dropped in a Sun flower seed, made a nice straight line with the handle end of the garden rake, planted, 36", in first line, 24", middle line and 6" near front-- Zinnias.

Zinnias are the easiest , sturdiest, most colorful flower to grow from seed.  I will cut them and make bouquets for my neighbors--late summer.
After I got them all planted and a Grape tomato plant at the end, I covered the seeds and tamped the dirt down firmly, with the flat part of the garden rake.

Now--I wait.
I'm worn out.  My shoulders and back ache--my legs feel weak.  But, emotionally I feel really good.  There is nothing that calms this old farm girl/gardener, than working in the dirt and planting the "promise" of seeds.    They are miracles.
Got this by e-mail tonight.  Della--7 months old and pulling herself up and walking along furniture.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Gray, cold, drippy

I have my porch pots planted, but not in place.  Tomorrow they are coming to power-wash my wee house, so I have my planters pushed way back out of the way.  I still haven't planted my Zinnia seeds because, #1: It's been to wet and #2:  I have to till that raised bed first and....it's been too wet.

I feel like I am late planting everything, but in reality, when I lived 25 miles north of here, we waited until Decoration Day weekend to plant, so....................

I got the 9th baby quilt done.  I have 9 grandchildren and decided 5 years ago that I wanted to do a cross-stitched baby quilt for each of them to choose from, for their first child.  I now have them all done.

If my grandson Marcus, marries that little farm girl,
this will be theirs.

This is the one Helene choose for Della

Finished yesterday
There will be one quilt left over.  My 2nd grand daughter, Susanna is not going to have children.  Which in a way is a good thing, as she is not the motherly type and is constantly traveling for New Balance shoes, running in marathons.  

Now I can stitch on my Nativity Scene, which has teeny-tiny holes and stitches.  I made a mistake yesterday and had to pull out stitches today, but it is going to be beautiful with the metallic threads and beads.

I have also, over the years, made afghans for the grand kids.  They have them, except for Jennifer's kids.  I have theirs packed away in nice tight plastic boxes and will ship her oldest, Andrew's to him on his 16th birthday this November.  I made it in MIT (Massachusetts Institute for Technology) colors because he's wanted to go there since he was 9.  It's a very handsome Claret red, gray and black.
It has been a week since I bit my tongue all the way through, and it is still hurting.  I checked out the spot and it is healing, slowly.  I swished with warm salt water and dabbed a bit of Hydrogen Peroxide on it last night before I went to bed.  I did get a mouth guard and managed to get the impression good so it fits well, but during the night, I must spit it out because I spend a couple of times each night, patting around the bed, trying to find it to put back in.  HAH!
I had fun yesterday at Michael's.  I got in line, waiting for the cashier, and a guy came up behind me with his cart.  He had on a dark navy shirt, pants and hat with a big yellow "M" (Michigan) on it.  His cart was filled with 2 large poster frames and several 8 x 10" poster frames.  He looked receptive to chat, so I said.
"Hm-mm.  Gathering sports memorabilia?"
"Yes.  Hey!  Good call.  How did you know?"
"I am a Spartan.  I went to the smart school."
"I oughta have you help me put all this stuff together."
"Oh, I've done it lots of times.  For award banquets, or displays, stuff like that.  I was involved in youth athletics for years."
"Then you're an expert!"
"No.  I'm a Spartan and don't you ever forget it," 

I could hear him laughing as I walked away, up to the cashier.

Some days are more fun than others. HAH!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

33 years later-------

The prediction is coming true.....

 Now, all we have to do is burn all the history books and print new ones, written by the most liberal of professors and then, we can mold and form the minds of the children.  We can build a beautiful socialist society, where everything is free to everyone.  Everyone is the same and has the same.  We could name it, The Socialistic Republic of Russmerica.  

To be politically correct we must demolish this statue too...

because:  "For much of his career, Lincoln believed that colonization—or the idea that a majority of the African-American population should leave the United States and settle in Africa or Central America—was the best way to confront the problem of slavery. His two great political heroes, Henry Clay and Thomas Jefferson, had both favored colonization; both were slave owners who took issue with aspects of slavery but saw no way that blacks and whites could live together peaceably. Lincoln first publicly advocated for colonization in 1852, and in 1854 said that his first instinct would be “to free all the slaves, and send them to Liberia” (the African state founded by the American Colonization Society in 1821)."

In the sky or on your phone,  
GPS or by a drone.
The camera in your monitor,
Or by your neighbor who lives next door.
The micro-chip in your wrist,
Just gives them yet, another twist.
Big Brother is watching you.  

I am probably getting close to my "call".  It is nearing my time when I will be carried to the beautiful hospice house, given my injections of morphine to calm me down--they say it's for pain--watch the beautiful movie as I stare at the ceiling and lapse into a coma, another injection and, down the conveyor belt I go--into eternity...or your next meal.

Thursday, May 18, 2017


Was it a nightmare?  Was it sleep apnea?  Something triggered me to bite all along the right edge of my tongue.  I even bit though it, in one place!

Woke up with a start from the pain.  There was blood coming out of my mouth.  Because I am on a blood thinner, the bleeding would not stop.  I got kind of scared, but didn't feel I could maneuver myself to the ER.

I sat up for awhile, I lay back down.  I knew I didn't want all that blood going into my stomach.  Finally, I just hung over the bathroom sink and let it drain--trying not to spit and make it worse.

Finally, I got a white linen napkin, put an ice cube in it, packed that between my tongue and bottom teeth and went back to sleep.  

When I woke up this morning, it looked like a bloody murder had occurred on my bed and in the bathroom.  It is sorer than anything.  I think I better buy a mouth guard to wear at night!!!!!


From time to time, I have been known to spend $300.00 on annuals to fill pots and baskets and planters.  Last year, we had such a hot and dry summer that every annual I planted died.  I spent $279.00 last year.

I am proud to say, I showed great restraint today.  I had my garden planting list with me and went to Lowe's to buy annuals.  Now, granted they aren't as large as the fancy gardening center I like to shop at across the road from me, but they will catch up.  I had 3 of the Chartreuse vines I always use that I couldn't find at Lowe's, so on the way home, I stopped at the fancy gardening center and got them.

All total today, I spent $111.19.  Instead of putting Impatiens and Petunias in the three planters that fit on my porch railing, I am going to use only two planters and planting Sweet Pea seeds in them.  If they succeed, they will trail as nicely as a Wave Petunia and if they don't succeed, it's no big out of pocket loss.

Today it was 88 degrees with 25 mph straight winds and an occasionally 40 mph gust.  I unloaded my plants and put them in the shade, came in and turned on the A/C.  Tonight it will get down into the 50's and tomorrow's high is predicted to be 62.  It should make a nice day to get all my pots cleaned up and planted.  Put the rug down on the porch and get my chairs in place.

Tonight, as I go to sleep, I am going to keep chanting, "Don't bit your tongue, don't bite your tongue"......and I think I will sleep on my left side, so in case I do bite, it will be on the other side.


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

What a great day.....................

We have jumped from April weather in the 50's and 60's, to July weather near 89.  Last night, before I went to bed, I flipped on the thermostat to "Cool" to cool it down inside. Something just didn't feel right.  It was 82 inside and I knew it would take a while to get everything cooled off so the thermostat would click off--I had it set for 74, and went to bed.

I woke up at 4:00am and the A/C fan was still running.  I checked the inside temperature--77 degrees.  So in nearly 5 hours, it had only cooled down 5 degrees.

At 8:00, I jumped on the phone and called my electricity company, that I have my Appliance Service Plan through.  They would send a guy out by noon!  YAY!  I was hoping it wouldn't be a Freon leak or the condenser had died.

Then I heard a racket, looked out and there was a Stump Remover company pulling in the yard between Tammie's house and mine.  Seven years ago, there was a 30 feet tall Willow Tree between our two houses.  It made me a bit nervous because I know how Willows, when they get old, can split right down the trunk, putting part of the tree on her roof and part on mine.

She's a lot like Dar and had kept after her husband to cut it down.  She was having panic attacks every time we got a 10mph wind. He talked to me and we agreed to split the cost to get that tree down.  It cost $800.00, which is ridiculous.  Shortly before he was going to pay me half, because I had paid for the whole thing at the time, she kicked him out and filed for divorce.  So, of course, he needed money to find a place to rent.  Over the next year, he paid me in bits and pieces and I never did get the full half.

Anyway, when they took down the tree, we wanted the stump removed.  That thing was huge!  and I mean YUGE!!!  They wanted $400.00 to take out the stump.  That was not going to happen.

So this morning, here is a guy, with a remote controlled machine with a big saw on the front.  I had never seen a machine so fancy.  I saw Tammie in the yard so I scooted over.  "Ohmigosh!  You are finally getting rid of that thing.  "I am going to put in a pond with a fountain," she said.

This girl!  She owes the IRS back taxes, she owes the hospital and she is in arrears on her mortgage, but the minute she gets a bit of change............)

"It's not costing four hundred, is it?"

"No.  He's only charging me a hundred."


So when he was finished, I asked him if he had time to remove the smallish stump from where I had the Mulberry tree removed.  

"Sure," he said.  He reminded me of my only nephew Adam, at a younger age.

"How much?" I asked

"I'll do it for nothing.  I'll just get it out."

"Oh no," I said, "I gotta pay you something.  
After all, I had a price on the removal three years ago and it was $150.00.

"How about, hm-mm, forty or fifty?"

"Fifty is good,"I said.

He not only removed that stump, he filled in the hole.  Usually they leave you with a huge mound of dirt.

"I don't have fifty dollars," I said.  "I couldn't find a ten.  All I've got is these three twenties."

He broke out in the biggest, red-faced grin.  I expected him to start kicking the toe of his shoe in the dirt and say, "Aw shucks!"
The A/C repair guy arrived at noon-thirty, checked out the unit to find that the Freon pressure is still at the top end (this unit is 20 years old) and that it needed a new capacitor, which had died because it was old.  Just for kicks, he put brand new fuses in the fuse box.  He praised me for keeping the unit so nice and clean and I told him, that although most people around here don't cover their units in winter, I always make sure the screens around the sides are clean, no leaves in the unit and then, cover it for winter.

Like the doc always tells me, "Well, just keep doing what you're doing." he says.

The "normal" charge would have been around $175.00, my cost = zero.  I pay $29.95 monthly for my all appliance service plan and since I have had three service calls already this year, I'd say that plan has paid for itself and more.

After my Soap, I attacked the porch.

Skritch marks from the squirrel claws, on two railings

Badly worn steps, that I sanded

 Done and done.

I almost fell off the steps because I had been bending over to paint the porch floor and got a bit dizzy.  That's why that chair is there, to sit in and get my bearings.

Now, I can clean up my porch pots and get some seeds and annuals planted and rest easy for the rest of the summer.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Am I too harsh?

I was sitting and thinking last night.  About Dar.  I've known her 6 years.  I thought and thought and tried to remember.  I think the only time she has ever asked how I was doing, was the week after Fred died.

I was in my recliner and had snoozed off.  I heard the door open and there she was.  I didn't know her very well at the time, but she stepped inside and said, "I was just checking to see if you are all right."  I said, "I'm fine.  Just taking a little nap."  and she left.

Not at any time, when she comes through my door, does she ever ask about me or my family or anybody.  It is always, all about her.  Her whole world revolves only around her and her needs, her pain, her---whatever.  That's all she thinks about.  

The first words out of her mouth when she walks in are, "I need to talk.  I need you to calm me down."

Yesterday she was going on and on about the treatments and therapies she CAN'T take, because they take her back to a time when she was abused.  So, I asked, "Did your husbands (4) ever beat up on you?  Did they ever try to kill you?  Were your parents abusive to you?"

"No.  But there was emotional abuse."

"My Dear," I said, "both of my husbands beat me.  My second one tried to kill me twice.  My father slapped me around and called me "stupid" from the time I was five.  Now, if I can get over all that, I don't see why you can't."

"It's just different with me," she said.  
Oh, of course it is because you are such a rare and unusual person., with such intricate maladies.

"I've been given black eyes and had my nose broken, yet I don't get hysterical when someone puts their hand up by my face.  I was rear ended, push into the oncoming lane of traffic and front ended, and then T-boned by another car.  I don't have PTSD about driving. "
I guess I get so mad at her that I tell my story to try and best her and show her she isn't any worse off?

"Well, you're just lucky."

"No, I'm not.  I sought help to get over it.  I put it in the back of my mind and tried not to think about it.  You keep all those thoughts active in your mind all the time.  You have trust issues and control issues."


"Well, why don't I?  I've been through the same or worse than you.  I accept the reality of it all, know I can't do one thing to control or change what happened, but can change my thinking by the way I react to it.  I choose to let go and let God and move forward."

"I don't know," she said.  "I can't.  I guess I am just unique in my way of thinking.  They told me at physical therapy that I am a special case. They've never seen anything like me before."

Oh Sister--you aren't unique, or special.  You are selfish, self centered, over dramatic and paranoid.  Go help someone else, volunteer, think of someone else for awhile and the pain will lessen.

"All of these people are trying to help you and yet, you won't do half of what they want to try."

"Nothing seems to help."

"It's going to take a long time, Kiddo."

"I just want the pain to go away."

"Of course.  A lot of that has to do with your mind--your thinking."

"I had a doctor tell me that, a few months ago.  He's nuts!  The pain is very real!  Why would anyone in their right mind keep the pain active in their mind?"
My question exactly.

"I just want it to go away so I can go back to work."


"I want to go back to work."

"Okay..now let's think about that.  You've told me that you have to take your Dad with you, or he gets nervous being alone.  How are you going to be away from home for eight hours?  What is he going to do all alone?"


"You're seventy-five years old.  You don't need the money.  You can't stand for more than ten minutes, they won't let you sit at your job.  You certainly can't stock shelves with your bad right arm..."

"But, I need the social interaction."

"Get a volunteer job then."

"I had thought I would try and volunteer at the hospital, in the nursery, rocking newborns."

"That would be great!  Just one thing.  The hospitals here don't have delivery or nurseries.  That means you would have to drive thirty miles to St. Joes--expressway driving.  You can barely drive to Brighton to physical therapy, four miles away, without getting a panic attack."

"I never thought of that."

"You and your Dad could go to the Senior Center once a week.  You would both meet new people.  He'd be the hit of the place at ninety-six and as active as he is."

"Hm-mm....I don't know."

"Well, get involved in church again.  You said you liked that new church you were going to last year.  Start going again and get involved in what is going on there.  Take your Dad."

"He's an Agnostic.  He wouldn't want to go."

"Maybe, if he tried it, he might enjoy being around all the people.  No one is going to drag him down the aisle to the altar."

She laughed.  "They'd suffer if they tried."  

"I'm just trying to think of things that YOU could do...for YOURSELF...to take your mind off the pain and make YOU feel better."

"If I felt better, Dad and I could take a few trips.  I know how to drive up to my brother's.  We could go to Indianapolis and visit the grand kids. I know how to get there."

"That would be great!  I just hate to see every minute of every hour of every day...your whole mind, body and soul are consumed with the constant thinking about your pain.  I'd hate to see you make a career out of being the victim."
That was our 90 minute conversation, while she sat and had her muscles stimulated.  HAH!

Am I too harsh with some of my words to her?

Monday, May 15, 2017

What is going on?

The strangest thing!  

I got ready to paint the white part of my porch--railings, stair risers, etc.  I had paint spattered jeans, t-shirt and canvas shoes I used 3 years ago when I first did the whole porch.  I washed them and put them in a bag on the top shelf of my bedroom closet.

I got them down, and started to dress.  I could not button my jeans.  The T-shirt felt tight in the chest.  I said right out loud, "What is going on?"

I weigh the same as I did 3 years ago.  The clothes are tight.  They weren't tight 3 years ago.  Is this another one of those "body shifts" that have no rhyme or reason?  Why would my boobs get bigger?
At least the shoes still fit!  

I got all the white painting done and was going to start on the gray porch deck and steps and just then, "you know who" came over.  She got a new TENS device and today at physical therapy they put the pads on for her and hooked her up, but she couldn't get it to work.  One of the little plug-ins had come undone.  I got it plugged in and she turned it on.  

She asked if she could stay awhile, while she was getting the muscle stimulation, because she was afraid that, #1.  she might get an electrical shock.  #2.  it might be set too high and she wouldn't know how to turn off the machine.  ARGGH!!

I assured her that the device ran on batteries and there was no way she could be electrocuted, and that she had control of the device on how high to move the stimulation and to hit the "Off" button if she didn't like it.

Her highest number is 20.  She sat it on 2 and thought that was too much, so she clicked it down to 1. 

I set mine on at least 10.  She didn't like the way it felt like it was 'grabbing' her muscles.  I told her it was supposed to feel that way--thus stimulating the muscles to get the inflammation outta there.

An hour and a half passed.  Now it's five o'clock and not a good time to start painting my porch steps or deck.  So------maybe tomorrow I can get that done?  If it doesn't rain and I have to wait for the wood to dry out.


Sunday, May 14, 2017

Good to know................

Judith, you do not have the ε4 variant we tested.
Your risk for Alzheimer's disease 
0 variants detected
in the APOE gene

From my 23 and Me DNA medical report.  Cool!

Karen's husband Mark and four of the kids went to the Grand Canyon for a two week adventure.  They went down in the Canyon and then they hiked up and down, from rim to rim to rim.

Marcus and Maddie were teamed up and as they were halfway to a rim it started raining.  They were dressed in the shorts and t-shirts, but as they climbed higher, the rain got heavier and colder and then it started snowing.  Susanna was waiting for them in her tent on the rim edge.

Marcus and Maddie were so cold they knew they had to find shelter until the storm passed.  Luckily, they found a wooden latrine and sat for an hour--no heat, no lights, no nothing.  Their clothes wouldn't dry out and they knew, the only way they could survive was to go back down to get to warmer air, below the snow/rain line.  

11 hours later, they met up with their Dad and brother Stephen, who had come looking for them.  Susanna had waited 7 hours in her tent for them and got worried, so she packed up and made her trek through the snow/rain to the bottom of the canyon.

Marcus and Maddie were in such bad shape that Dad had a moment of, "Oh my God.  What do we do now."  He, Marcus and Stephen are all Eagle Scouts so they know survival skills.  They finally found a spot to set up camp and got the heaters and lights going inside the tents with blankets and food.

Thankfully,  Marcus and Maddie flew home Friday and Mark and Stephen arrived this morning.  Susanna flew back to Portland, Oregon on Saturday.

I am very thankful this Mother's Day that all of my grand children are alive--although Maddie is sick and on the edge of pneumonia!
Saturday, Pammie and Karen came over.  Karen wanted to take us out to lunch.  I suggested she stop and get Subways for us so we could sit in the living room while we ate, and be able to chatter away without noisy people around us.  Gosh--we giggled and laughed and talked about long ago, "remember when" memories.  Then we went outside and they dug two holes and planted the 100 year old Hosta's I had picked up at The Farm on Thursday. We had an absolutely grand, goofy time!
I went over to Dar's Saturday evening to wish her a Happy Birthday.  She has started with a new doctor--her 10th.  She still refuses to do her meditation or any bio-feedback for the pain, because she's "scared".  I don't know what this doctor can do for her.  Very sad case!
Today felt kind of strange.  So many Mother's Day wishes on Face Book that I felt nauseous!  I knew that the grand kids would be gathering at Karen's during the day, but I wasn't invited didn't drive over.  With all the kids and her hubs back home safely, I felt it was her day to shine, without me hanging around on the fringes.  My oldest grand daughter Helene, e-mailed me a photo of her and the baby.  I had sent her a Happy 1st Mother's Day card and she loved it.

I had thought to start painting the porch today, but it never got above 61 and the breeze felt cold to me.  Besides, I don't like to do physical chores on a Sunday.  I spent 5 hours on the genealogy I am working on.  Back 21 generations, so you know, that takes a lot of time, printing, scanning, filling in the family sheets and writing the stories in the book.  I'm about half way done.
Tomorrow it is supposed to be sunny and warmer, so I will paint the porch.  Got to get a couple of coats on it, so it might take two days.  THEN--it may just be warm enough to plant.  I don't think we will get any more frosts.

I hung the Baltimore Oriole feeder and Humming bird feeder.  Within an hour, the Oriole swooped in.  Still haven't seen a Hummer, but Sister says they have them, so mine should be coming in any day now.

Friday, May 12, 2017


The time goes so fast.  It seems like Friday was just a couple of days ago, and here it is again!

I have much to do today.

I would tell you what I did Wednesday, but I can't remember.  I think it probably entailed starting on a new genealogy--yes, that was it.

Thursday, I drove on up north 30 miles to have lunch with the K-12 school gal pals.  I ordered Nachos and when it came, it was so large, they served it on a round pizza pan!  Needless to say, I had left overs!

Then out to The Farm to visit 'Lil Sis.  Her hubs dug up two of our great grand mother's Hostas, which grow along the front of the porch of the home they live in.  The Hostas were planted in the 1920's, so I will let you figure out how old they are.  We also have Peony plants that have grown that long and Lily of the Valley and Iris.  Amazing how long a plant can live, isn't it?

On my way home, I stopped at the Cemetery, just to check in on my ancestor's and Fred.  My sister had already filled the urns.  Beautiful bright Pink flowers that showed up from the road and every part of that cemetery.  Our big family plot (actually 2 plots) really looked nice.  

I moved the little cement angel dog, that sits on Fred's marker, over to the other side.  Every month, I move it to the other side because I don't want the rain that collects under it, to darken the marker.

 I noticed a dirty bird had stopped by and left his "mark" on my marker, so I spit on a Kleenex and cleaned it off.

Everybody is there.
Great Great Grand Parents: Peter and Anne
Great Grand Parents:  Charles and Sophia
Grand Parents: Roy and Helene
Parents:  Charles and Dorathy
Great Uncle: Ray

and still room for four more which will be: my sister and her hubs, my son Mark and daughter Pam.
Can you even imagine the reunion on the day of Rapture? 
I have to go to the Food Bank this morning and then get to work on cleaning up and maybe painting my porch.  Pam and Karen are coming tomorrow to plant the Hostas for me and perhaps lay down the mulch.

Oh--now I remember what I did Wednesday.  I went to Lowe's and bought paint for the porch, new step treads, sand paper, brush and roller.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

It is Tuesday----------------

For awhile today, I thought it was Wednesday.

Got the latest genealogy book put together and bound today at the Print Shop.  109 pages long and it turned out really nice.  It took awhile to find anything on one side of the family, but then when I did?  BAM!  A bit of stories and histories of the ancestor's.  The book is ready to mail tomorrow, promised delivery on Friday, so my client can give it to her Mom on Mother's Day.  That was my goal!!!
I keep wanting to go outside and plant something.  It was 32 degrees with frost last night and this morning.  I cannot believe this nonsense!!  Usually we can plant on Mother's Day around here, but I am thinking I will wait until next weekend.  Where I used to live--just 20 miles north, we had to wait until Memorial Day weekend to plant.

In the meantime, tomorrow I am hauling all my pots and porch paraphernalia out of the shed.  Get it all cleaned up and have the pots put in place.  I also need to paint my porch railings and steps.  So I may have to go to Lowe's tomorrow to get some sand paper and white deck paint.  I have the gray left from last year.  I think I am probably going to have to use a bit of sandpaper on the railings.  The squirrels run up and down the railings all winter long, with their sharp little claws.  My fault as I put the feeder out on one of the railings and feed them all winter.
Dar came over tonight, just as Jeopardy was starting.  She went back to the psycho-therapy place today, refused hypnosis, so they gave her a meditation thing.  She sticks her fingers in her ears, hums, centers the hum on the middle of her forehead and then visualizes it going down the center of her body, bringing relaxation against the pain as it moves.   

There is one problem.  she can't do it because she can't put her fingers in her ears and close out all sound.  If she can't hear extraneous noise, someone could sneak up on her without her knowing it.

I told her to go in her bedroom, close her door, sit with her back firmly against the head board of her bed.  Then she would know that no one could sneak up behind her.

"But, I have to close my eyes to do the meditation and someone could sneak into my bedroom and I'd never know it until it was too late to defend myself."

OY VEY!!!!! 

Monday, May 8, 2017

Feeling great--at least today.

The sun woke me at 7:15 and the cats nosed me until I got up at 7:30.  I felt great and remembered that I had salmon patties last night for supper. LOL

I had lots to do today and I did it all in fine order.  I needed to go into Brighton and with all the Main Street construction going on, I decided to go in the back way.  I came out on the side street by the Meijer grocery store, got my groceries--I had my list, up to the gas station and then remembered how hard it was to get on the main street if I went out the front drive.

So I went out the back way, down two blocks, then up to a traffic light and when it turned green, made a left turn on to the main drag.  Up another two blocks to Michael's on my right, got my floss and instead of going further up to take a small side road out of that mall, I doubled back to the light I came in on.

Turned right and right on homeward bound.  I stopped at the Print Shop (right turn) to get two pedigrees printed out and then home.  Unloaded all the groceries and put them away.

The only mis-step I had was when I got home, I pulled into my driveway, then remembered all the groceries in the trunk, so backed out and up a bit and backed in to make the trunk nearer the porch.

I had kind of mapped out my trip in my mind with mostly right turns involved and everything was as smooth as silk.  

I feel good about all of it.  Oh, by the way, I had roast beef and a baked potato for supper tonight.  HAH!

Sunday, May 7, 2017


I am starting to notice something--scary.

My short term memory is getting bad.

When I first wake up in the morning, I am a bit confused as to what day it is.  If you asked me right then, "What did you have for supper last night?", I wouldn't be able to tell you.  

Sometimes, while falling asleep at night, I think of something I want to do the next day, but the next day---I have to really think hard and for a long time on, what it is I wanted to do, and even then I can't recall.

Last Thursday night, instead of being in my computer room the last place I am before I go to bed, I was watching TV and got up and went to bed.  Friday morning when I came in here, my computer was still on and my night time pills were still in the little box.  Thankfully, I have my table lamp in here on a timer, or it would have still been on.

To top it all off, last month I forgot to pay a bill.

I have some bills I pay by check and some I pay on-line out of my checking account.  Along about April 28th, I was reconciling my checking account balance and was $40.00 less than what the bank was showing.  I went check by check against my bank statement.  I couldn't figure it out.  On the list I print out of what is due, when it is due, I had lined out that bill, so I knew I had paid it.

Later that day, I got an e-mail from the company saying my account was overdue.  I quickly got into that account and realized at once what I had done.

I had put in the information, what I was to pay, the day I wanted to pay, but had forgotten to click on the "submit" button.


Sometimes I even forget how to spell a word and have to Google it to get the correct spelling.
I have no problems remembering birthdays or appointments.  I have no problems when doing my genealogies.  I keep things on schedule and in good order, but the other things......................

Now I worry what I may have forgotten something that is really important.  

I have always been very organized and kept everything in my mind without needing to make lists.  Now, I have to write everything down!

It's creeping me out!  Do I need to see a neurologist and get a memory test?

Saturday, May 6, 2017

The weather doesn't help.................

.........my mood.

I have always been very aware of the weather.  My Daddy taught me a lot about what kind of weather was coming.  No TV's back then with their predictions and forecasts.  Daddy could tell by the way the clouds moved, how the wind felt and how the animals acted.  

I distinctly remember a summer day when I was about ten years old.  I was playing outside, enjoying the sunshine and Daddy came walking toward the barn--he was walking fast.

"You get all the chickens in the coop and haul your rabbit cages into the barn.  I gotta get the cows up from the pasture."

"Why, Daddy?"

"See those clouds?" he pointed west, out in the country, you can see the sky from a long ways off.  "There's a lot of wind in those clouds.  We've got a bad storm brewing."

Well of course, I did as I was told.  Took me nearly half an hour.  Have you ever herded chickens?

I loaded my rabbits, in their cages, into my wagon and hauled them over to the barn and dragged them inside.  Just then I heard Daddy getting the cows in their stanchions.

As we stepped out to head to the house, I could hear the wind roaring in those clouds and fat drops of rain pelting down.

Mother already had all the windows in the house closed as Daddy and I ran up into the back porch.  A glass enclosed porch.

We stood in the kitchen, looking out the window that faced west.  All of a sudden, Mother turned and Daddy grabbed my arm and we ran down into the basement.  Michigan Cellar is what it was--stone walls and dirt floor.  We could hear sounds of glass breaking, loud thunder and the wind roaring overhead.

When things calmed down a bit, we climbed up the wobbly wooden steps and looked around.  Everything looked okay until we walked into the kitchen.  Our big Willow tree that I loved to climb in, was split in half and it was smoldering.  It had been hit by lightning.  

We had twin pine trees in the front yard, where two rope swings hung from the lower boughs--one pine tree was laying on it's side.  "There's hail out there six inches deep," Mother said.

Then Daddy walked out into the porch-room to go outside to check for damage.  "Dorathy, come here," he yelled.  Every west facing window in that room was shattered and rain was pouring in.

He stepped outside and stood on the cement step, I heard him moan.  There sat our almost new car, at the end of the path that divided our lawn.  It was covered in pock marks from the hail damage.
Being in tune with the weather, the last four days of steady rain and temperatures in the 40's, with nary a glimpse of the sun, everything has made me moody.   I shouldn't complain.  When I see the news photos of the floods down south, I can't even imagine what those people are going through.  There is water to the roof-lines of their homes!  How do you ever recover from something like that?

It's the 6th of May!!  Mother Nature, bring us some warmth, okay?

The sun is out today and my mood is better.  Still only a "high" in the 50's and freezing temps every night.  The furnace still comes on from time to time.

I just saw a guy walk by in tank top and shorts, walking his dog.  I ran to my indoor/outdoor weather station to see the outside temperature.  48 degrees!  By the way the guy is dressed, I thought it might be in the 60's.  Nope!
I DID walk up to Merle and Pearl's yesterday afternoon.  I didn't know it, but this is the second time in a week that they had to call the ambulance people for help.  She fell last week.

I asked her how and why she fell.  Did she get dizzy?  Did she black out?  Wasn't she using her walker?

No, she wasn't dizzy.  She didn't black out.  Yes she was using her walker, but she has no strength in her legs and they collapse and even using the walker, she just goes down.  She is so heavy that Merle can't get her up, so he has to call the ambulance people.  

Two summers ago, when Merle was so sick and weak and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, Pearl seemed to keep herself going.  She walked out to get the mail every day.  She'd walk down here to visit.  She worked in her small flower garden.  She cleaned house and did it all--grocery shopping, driving her car.

The minute Merle was diagnosed with Parkinson's and responded (like a miracle) to the drugs they put him on.........it was like Pearl just sat down and gave up.  She has always said that she wants to die first because Merle could get along better, by himself, than she could, if he went first.  

It almost seems to me that she has decided to just give up, sit in her chair and wait for her last breath.  WHICH IS STUPID, because she has NO health problems!!  Her heart is strong.  She doesn't have high blood pressure or cholesterol, no breathing problems.  She takes two pills a day--for pain.  That's it!

She could easily live another ten years, but of course, she won't.  

She doesn't move because her legs hurt.  Her legs hurt because she doesn't move.  Her muscles are wasting away.  AND SHE WON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, and good or bad weather---her attitude still makes my mood sad!!!