title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

I don't quite know what to say.  I didn't intend for my last post to "scold" you all into leaving a comment, but..........Oh.  My.  I was over whelmed.  So many I have not heard from in such a long time.  I did a good job of replying to your comments too--didn't I?

I will just pat myself on the head for that because.........you know.........I am one of those needy people that needs praise, even if it is only from myself.  HAH!!
Did I tell you?  I got that big genealogy in the mail on Friday--just like I wanted.  She should get it today.  I hope she likes the presentation.  That book weighed 3 pounds!!!!!  170 some pages--well, that's double sided, so..........85 single pages?   She mailed me a thumb drive with a lot of old, old photos to add to the book.  Some so dark they were difficult to see, but I put them through Pic Monkey photo editing and lightened them up a bit and "crisped" up the images.  They printed out pretty well.

Funny thing about the thumb drive.  I have never used one and had quite a time for awhile figuring it out and learning how to save the photos.  I always make a File Folder with my client's name in my pictures in a main Genealogy folder.  In that file under the clients name, I make sub-files with the 4 main families I am researching.  Then I save the photos to those sub-files so I can remember who goes where.  It gets real fun when I have photos that have the same "male" name only generations apart.

As in the old days, men tended to name their first son after them, and so I end up with a lot of William's, same last name.  Sometimes, I have to make sub-folders in the sub-folders.  LOL  William I, William 2, William 3, and so on.  Then, I have to make sure any records, photos, cemetery and grave marker photos I find on line, go into the correct folder, so that when I make the book, I get the right photos for the right person.  Anything I find on line, like census reports, marriage, birth, death notices, I print out, trim to an appropriate size, scan and then save as a photo.

Yeah--it takes time, but when I am ready to write the book and put it together, everything I need is in that person's photo file folder and it makes it easier.

Complicated?  Yes.  and  OH LORDY...I DO LOVE DOING IT!!!
 Frost on the Pumpkins this morning and on the roof tops and the cars and shady places on the lawn.  I still have a major garden clean-up to do.  Maybe this afternoon?

When the sun comes out and starts to "burn-off" the frost on the roof tops, it almost looks like smoke.  The first time I noticed it, I thought Dar's house was on fire!!!  
Sunday, I got the planter that sits on my deck railing, filled with shelled corn, sunflower seeds, peanuts in shells and shelled peanuts.  It is for the squirrels and I figured, with it getting colder now, they would be gathering and storing up for winter.  Mostly they just sit there and eat their fill right now.

Blue Jays also like this.  The main reason for the squirrel feeder was to keep them off my bird feeders.  Now, the birds come in to enjoy the squirrel food!  Oh well.

I'm not much of a photographer, but I got this lucky shot Sunday.  Isn't he adorable?

That second photo looks like he is calling in his buddies to come eat.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

It makes me kinda sad when I come in here to read other's blogs.  I look over on the right side-bar of this page at the list of blogs I follow, and it seems posts are becoming fewer and fewer.  Many people have just quit posting in their blogs.  I miss them so much!

I think Face Book has ruined it for us bloggers.  People have their list of friends, a lot of those friends from their blog days, and instead of posting on their blog, they just post quick messages on Face Book.  I really hate that!!!

I want to know what is going on in my blog buddies lives and they aren't going into the detail they used to in their blog, on Face Book--where just anyone could read it.  Our blogs always felt safe to us, I think.  A place where we could write out our feelings and thoughts.  Things that trouble us, when written down, seem to become less.  Plus we have our blog buddies who leave supportive comments or suggestions on how to help.  You won't find that on Face Book.  You are liable to get slammed by someone if you post the simplest thing.  I have found that out way too many times.

I've also noticed that comments readers leave has decreased a lot too.  Do people still come in to read my ramblings?  Or, because they don't post on their blogs anymore, do they not read anyone else's?

Maybe that's why some quit posting.  No one reads or if they do, they don't leave a comment.  I always leave a comment on any blog that I read.  It seems the polite thing to do and I know that I am always interested in where my followers are from.

To me, this blog is important.  I can go days without speaking to another human being and those I do talk with, I wouldn't share with them as intensely as I share with you guys.  I can share everything here, too much so at times, but like I said before, it helps me emotionally to write it out and get it out of my mind.

If I'm angry about something, I feel safe here writing it out.  If I am depressed, or sad or scared, I feel safe writing it out here.  There seems to always be an encouraging comment that helps me get through it all.  Perhaps I am just one of those people that needs a pat on the head every now and then.

It feels like my blog buddies are "family", or even better, "friends".  Sometimes family members can be very critical.  Most of the time, blog buddies, if they are critical, do it in a gentler way.  I respond much better to making changes in my way of thinking by gentle criticism than by someone blasting at me at the top of their lungs.

I mentioned on Face Book that I had filled out my absentee ballot, but I didn't fill it all out.  I left empty the place for voting for school board members, trustees at the colleges and judges.  I don't know those people, and who gets elected really doesn't matter to me.

My older cousin blasted me with a "Shame on you.  You should study each of those people and be an informed voter."  What's it to her, Huh?  She's always been a busy body.  No one else blasted me, they merely said they were ready to mail theirs in too.   I would expect that same response if I had posted it on this blog, or no response to that at all.

So--I am sad to see so many of my blog family stop posting.  I enjoy reading all the blogs I follow, even if I don't agree with some of them--there is always some tidbit that is interesting.
Prayers for our Dear Friend Ernestine at "My Journey to Mindfulness", she is dealing with severe health issues.  I have read her blog for the last 7-8 years.  She has been my mentor.  My encourager.  I am worried about her, because..................she is part of our family.  Sisters--all of us.

Friday, October 12, 2018

I would tell you what happened each and every day this past week--if I could remember.  I don't write every day in my journal, like I used too, so there is no going back to recall the days.

Monday--the guys that the park had come around and trim my big Maple trees, did a piss poor job.  They used one of those long poles with a saw on top and apparently, cut through branches that got caught up in lower branches.  They didn't climb up in the tree and lower the comes they cut--so for the past month, every time we have a slight breeze, these semi-cut branches, some 3" in diameter, fall on my lawn, driveway, roof, car!!!!!!!!!

Now, for the yard waste people to pick up branches, they HAVE to be cut into 4' long lengths, bundled together and tied in several places with strong twine.  Well--how do I, with no hand saw, cut through those 3" branches?  I don't.  I used my loppers to cut off all the side twigs and branches and managed to get them all bundled and then, ran out of twine.    Duct Tape is of course verbotten, as this stuff all has to be degradable.   I moved one twine tie around, down from the top and the other down towards the bottom of the huge bundle, put it out, and it was taken early Tuesday morning, along with a yard waste bag I had filled when I massacred my Forsythia bush.

Monday night I got a Face Book message from a friend that she had baked a ham and did I want her to save the ham bone and juice for me.  YES!!
Tuesday--My appointment at the Food Bank and what did I find?  A bag full of clean and peeled vegetables--potatoes, onions, carrots AND one nice size cabbage.  Can we all say Boiled Dinner for Jude?

I wanted to work outside all afternoon, but, it rained.
Wednesday--hotter than Hades and the humidity around 75%.  Not a good day for me to work outside, unless I want to die.  So, I finished up the genealogy and took it to the print shop to be bound.  Alas and alack--or should I say, as my world usually goes, their binding machine was broken and might not be fixed for a month.

Wait.  What?  I wanted to mail the genealogy on Friday.

"Oh, the UPS stores have that equipment.  They will do it for you."

So up to Howell to the UPS store.  Sorry, we only have the "comb" binding.  You know the plastic kind with rectangular holes and plastic tabs that go through and can break off?

So, I turn around and drive down to Brighton to that UPS store.  We don't have that kind of binding.

So, on the way home, I stopped at the print shop to tell them and the lady in there that usually does all my work for me said, "Well yes they do!  I'm going to call them right now!"  and she did and the Brighton UPS assured her they did have the "coil" binding.

By then, I was exhausted by the humidity so I just came home.

The blue baby afghan I was working on, for a baby boy, just wasn't working out.  I just couldn't get the pattern I had designed to fall into place with the right spacing.  I sat in my chair, frogging the whole thing --"frogging" = ripping out.  Rip it!  Rip it.

Then, like a bolt from the heavens, I got an idea.  Take the pattern I have--scan it, print out a million copies.  Take the words on it, cut them out and paste them in the space I want them to go over the words on the original patter.  AHA.

I'll be a darned.  It worked!  So, now I have started a new afghan, in pink, for a baby girl.  It seems to be moving along at a smooth pace with all letters/words correctly spaced.  I feel like a blinking, creative genius!!!
Thursday--it was 85 on Wednesday and 51 today.  I had my Old School Gal Pals luncheon to attend.  It was up the road a few miles at Bethie's new condo.  She and her husband have downsized from their home in the country to a condo in town.

Now, as luck or the grace of God had it, the Brighton UPS is right on the way to Bethie's!!    I stopped and spoke to the same guy as the day before, he apologized for confusing me, I apologized for my old, misunderstanding brain.  We confirmed how the book should be bound and he promised to do it perfectly and..."can you pick it up later today?"
"Well, yes I can.  I will be coming back by here just a bit after three this afternoon."

I left and had a nice drive up the service road that runs along the expressway--avoiding that race way/death trap all the way to Bethie's town.  Found her condo quite easily and what a beauty it is!!

It looks like it was made just for her!  Her hubs has an office at the front of the condo, she has her own office at the back with the patio/deck just outside.  Perfect!!!

They have a hillside view of colorful soft wood trees, pines and a lovely courtyard at the front door.  Bethie sees deer out her office or bedroom window all the time.

Their beautifully finished basement has more square footage than my place, so I announced to her and her husband that I would be moving in middle of next month and.........I would appreciate it if they could get their packing/moving boxes emptied and out of my way.  Her husband asked me if I wanted a bath with a tub or shower or both--I replied that I preferred a shower as I can't get down and up from a tub anymore.  Than he and I discussed on how we could get one of those--now required by law--dug out access windows.  It would give me a way out in case of fire and also bring some more light into my basement suite!!

As you can see, we had a nice gathering of the Old School Gal Pals.  As I've said before, we have known each other since Kindergarten/First grade, so there are no pretenses.  We all know of each other warts, we have seen each other's yearbooks and any scandalous thing any of us have done, will die with us.  Our lips are sealed!

You can see, we always dress in our finest for these luncheons.  Like I said, no pretenses--which includes no make-up, plastic surgery, or fake anything.  Some of these ladies are quite well-off, but you'd never know it.  

Beth is on the back left.  The one who talks too much is on the back right.  The one with slight dementia and exaggerates all her stories, is on the couch, 3rd from the left.  Sally, the one who's daughter just died from a brain tumor is sitting on my right.  Sandy--on my left, is so short and stout she couldn't sit back on the couch and ever have a chance of getting up, without having to call a wrecker with a winch!  So she is hanging on my knee for dear life and my left hand is behind her, holding her up and forward.

When we were done with the photo shoot, I got up grabbed on to Sandy's hands and Sally got behind her and we hauled her up from the couch!

Oh Lordy--we are quite a group!!!
Friday--well that would be today.  41 degrees and expecting rain.  I got the genealogy book mailed out.  176 pages long, an inch thick and weighed 3# !!  

Friday, October 5, 2018

I had such plans for today.  Plans that are now busted by incessant, misty rain.

Yesterday afternoon, it was chilly, but the sun was shining, so I got outside to work on cutting back the porch side garden.

I massacred my Forsythia.  Supposed to be trimmed back right after it finishes flowering in the spring, it had gotten long and leggy and I lopped off every single branch!  Took it down to about 3 feet high.  I know, it will come back, but I doubt it will flower next spring.

I made a pile of the lopped off branches, then got my camp chair out of the trunk of my car.  That way, I can sit down to rest my aching back, and pull the branches up to me, cut them into smaller lengths and put in a yard waste bag I have sitting beside me.

I have a lot of Rose of Sharon volunteers coming up all over that garden--most about 8" high.  The only way to get rid of them is to dig them up, but their root usually goes all the way back to the mother bush.  So--I just cut them off, below ground level with my loppers.  They will still come up next year, so...I will cut them down again in the spring.  The Good Lord willing and I'm still alive.
I had an encounter with another Tree Toad.  Did I ever post about the ones I found in the upper channel of my trunk lid?  As I went to open my trunk to get my chair, there was a Tree Toad sitting on the top of the rear fender.  I placed him ever so gently on the big Maple tree behind us.  He is probably the same one I found in the trunk channel last month and put in the porch side garden.

After about an hour, when I had all the branches cut and bagged, I went to lug the yard waste bag up on the porch and Mr. Tree Toad was once again sitting on the fender of the car.

I again placed him on the trunk of the Maple tree.  I got my tools picked up and figured I'd just put them in the car trunk instead of walking them all the way back to my shed.  I got my chair folded up and went to put everything in the trunk..................Tree Toad, once again on the fender of the car.

I think he was remembering how much he liked living in the damp, dark trunk channel and riding around with me.  This time, I tossed him none to gently into the garden and shut the trunk lid.  

It all has just become such a hysterical thing that, before I go into town, I have to open and check my trunk for toads.  I hate to be in the super market parking lot and then discover them because there are no grassy areas for me to toss them into.  Besides, a Tree Toad living in the Walmart parking lot wouldn't last very long before he was squished!!!
  Wasn't it just the other day I was telling you how sweet Maggie The Cat has become?  Getting up on the bed every night, coming up toward my shoulders to be petted and talked too.

Last night the ritual continued.  She came up, I petted her body, scratched under her chin, gently stroked her ears and petted her head and.............she turned and bit me!  I yelled, "NO BITE" which she understands and swatted her off the bed.

Then, because I was in pain and bleeding like a fountain, I had to get back up and put Neosporin on it and a large Band-Aid to staunch the flow of blood.  

Later, when I was almost asleep, I felt her jump up onto the bed and settle down by my ankles where she normally sleeps.  I had such an intense urge to kick her flying off the bed, but I didn't.  You can clearly see the marks from her two upper teeth.

I am ticked off today, not just because it is raining and I can't get outside and finish that side garden.  I decided to get the genealogy printed out.  Right around the 80 page mark, I ran out of the special, acid-free, heavier paper I use.  The paper that costs $40.00 a box of 150 sheets.  I've had to order and it won't be in until Tuesday.  

I'm thinking this day is lost and I might as well vacuum the carpeting and sit down, watch TV and crochet!

It's a baby boy afghan that I designed myself and it is causing me all sorts of problems!

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

I had quite the adventure yesterday...

I went into Brighton, to get my hair cut, and decided to drive home a different way to miss the traffic.

I thought I knew what street/road I was on, when in actuality, I was on one that went south-west out of town, around Brighton Lake. I wasn't lost--a country girl knows her directions, but for quite a few miles, I didn't exactly know where I was.

Then--I saw a road and I recognized the name--a gravel road--Bauer Road, I turned north on it and recognized I was near where I had gone years ago to my grand daughter's cross country track meet.

In and out of holes and wet low places and finally, up ahead, I could see the traffic light on the road I originally thought I was on. Just before I got to the traffic light, I hit a pot hole.
KABANG!!!  I expected that rear tire to go flat at any moment.

Please, Dear God, get me home safely!!

Finally home and it only took me 45 minutes, instead of the normal 15, but..................I did miss the city traffic and I got to see a lot of beautiful mansions out by the lake!!!

I recently visited with Pearl and Merle.  It's hard to "visit".  Pearl doesn't have much to say--she still manages to get dressed in the morning, but stays in her chair all day.  When I got there, she had a couple of pair of slacks sitting by her chair and she was in her underpants.  Apparently, because it takes her such a long time to walk to the bathroom, she has "accidents" and had already gone through two pair of slacks.  I don't know why she doesn't wear Depends.

Merle's voice is very weak now and the Parkinson's has advanced to the point where his head bobs up and down all the time.  I don't know whether he is agreeing with what I say or not.  He recently was in hospital for a hydrocele.

I had no idea what that was, so he explained--in minute' detail I might add.  It is a fluid filled sac in the scrotum.  It has to be drained--with a needle.  He didn't like it.

Oh my!
Monday I got a letter from an old friend--one I have known since I was born--they were neighbors of ours.

Now, I have always known that this girl/woman was a "story teller" as my Daddy used to call her.  I never told any of my other friends and in high school and beyond, I could see them fascinated by her stories and the fantastic life she had once led.

The last couple of years, at our monthly luncheons, I have observed that the other women aren't quite in the believing mode, as her stories have become so far fetched as to be totally unbelievable.

She has claimed that she has tried to attend our luncheons for the last three months, but we were never at the restaurant we told her we'd be at.  She has now claimed to me, that last month, she arrived, but none of us were there and when she went back to her car, she saw us all leaving town in our cars.

She also informed me that she tried to go to a mutual friend's funeral, but she couldn't find the church.  That she stopped at the Township offices and two other churches, but none of those people had ever heard of that church.  I wonder if she was even in the right town.

So--I sent a couple of e-mails off to Beth and another friend Ruth Ann.  Ruth Ann was the one who answered her cell phone, on her way to the funeral, and specifically told her where the church was and how to get there.

Beth, who is friends with this woman's step-son, said that they have become aware that the woman is in dementia and also paranoia.  The woman had told someone that Beth's husband had given someone a ride home, but that he had to stop to run errands and so that person didn't get home for nine hours!  Also that Beth's husband had called her and told her not to call Beth anymore.  Not true.

In her letter to me, the woman said that her husband has now bought a registered, thorough-bred race horse and she's glad because it gives him "chores" to do and keeps him out of the house, and that she couldn't make it to "Jones" funeral either.  Who in the heck is Jones?

I don't even know how to answer or respond to her letter.  I don't know to react to her if I see her in person.  Just agree with her stories?  What wild tale will she tell next?  Could it be a hurtful tale about one of us that she tells another one of us?

It's an uncomfortable situation and not one I know how to deal with.

It's difficult because I feel like, since I've known her and her family for all my life, I should "stand up" for her.  I should show her more affection.  I should nod at every word that comes out of her deluded mind.

I read her letter three times and was so confused, I thought perhaps it was ME that wasn't understanding what she was talking about.  Perhaps she is the clear minded one and I am the one losing it?

This getting old is turning into a not so fun time!
Dar has twin great grand babies--boys.  She has not seen them and probably won't, as they belong to her son and grandchildren that she kicked out of her house two years ago.  She doesn't even know where they live.  When they left her house, they had no where to go and were living in their van.  Apparently the boy is the father of the twins.

Now this makes Dar's father a great, great grandpa.  She keeps telling everyone that her father is 100 years old.  I don't say anything, but when I did their genealogy, he was born in 1924.  Well--94....100, what's the difference, right?

She doesn't come over very often anymore.  She quit smoking "real" cigarettes, so now she doesn't need a place to escape too and puff away.  
I got a phone call from daughter Pam yesterday.  She is still living with Jen and family in New Jersey.  I know she is a big help to them.  Pam basically takes care of the two younger kids.  She takes them to and from school and their after school activities, cleans up their rooms and does their laundry.  The two older kids do their own cleaning and laundry.

Pam just found out that she is two months shy of work hours to apply for disability.  One case worker told her to go back to work for two months and then re-apply.  Pammie explained that she can't work.  That is why she is applying for disability!

She has shown "them" all the MRI and x-rays of her back--she is missing a disc in her spine, but it all hinges on hours worked.

So, now she is applying for SSI.  

Lots of people talk about how easy it is to get on Welfare.  I have not found that to be true and neither has Pammie.  I guess we are the wrong nationality or color or don't have under aged kids or something.

So, she is out there and her farmhouse remains closed up.  I worry about that.  Everyone knows she doesn't live there anymore.  She may return home to find squatters living there.  Squatters--like her Mom.  LOL
Today I have to run up to Walmart to pick up a prescription.  Stop and drop off my rent check at the park office here.  Get to the print shop to get the pedigrees printed out on long paper and clean up this house.  I don't understand how one person, living alone, can let a house get so cluttered!!!

If the weather holds, tomorrow I need to get outside and start the fall, garden clean-up.  I love doing that, but I sure dread how my back is going to feel.

Oh well--I live to fight another day!!!


Monday, October 1, 2018

I got the genealogy printed out today.  162 pages!!!!!!!  Lots of old photos, so dark, but I put them through my photo editing software and it lightened and sharpened them a good bit.

I have to get to the print shop to get the pedigrees printed and then put them in the appropriate places in the book, then back to the print shop to get the book bound and printed and I think.....I may be able to get it mailed end of this week.

It's been a great experience and I think my client will be surprised about how far back I was able to get on her Paternal grandmother's side.  My client already had a lot of info to give me, but I "climbed" a lot higher than what she had, and that, to me, is always a success.
The necessity of garden fall cleanup is heavy on my mind.  Just when I think I will get an afternoon to get outside, it rains.  Other than the normal back pain, I feel better than I have in a couple of years, so I am hoping I can get it all done in just a couple of days.
We shall see.  My neighbor's haven't started cutting back their gardens yet, so I guess I'm not too out of the loop.
My cats are strange things.  I never thought you could teach a cat anything.  Dogs?  Yes.  Cats?  Not so much.

When they come up to my chair and look like they want to jump up on my lap, if I say "No", they stay down.  Then I say, "Go take a nap" and they walk away to their cushions and sleep.

They sure know what, "Want supper?" means and run over to their food dishes before I even get to the fridge.

When I get ready to go to bed I say, "Time to go nite-nite."  They saunter off toward the bedroom.  While I am in the bathroom, they sit on the floor by my bed.

Buddy always jumps up and come up to the upper right side of the bed, because I lay on my right side and pet him while I fall asleep.  Maggie waits until I get settled, then snuggles up to the left side, down by my ankles.

Apparently they have had a conversation or something because the last month, Maggie now jumps up on the bed first.  She comes up quite close to my face.  She used to be a biter and didn't ever wanted to be petted.

I lay on my side and pet her and talk to her.  I've never heard her purr until last week!  Then I say, "Nite-nite", and she moves down to her usual spot, by my ankles.  Then and only then, will Buddy jump up and come up to his usual spot.  I pet him and talk to him, and then he puts his face in the open palm of my right hand, up by the pillow and lays quite close to my head.  Sometimes I have to scootch him over as he lays too close to my face.  He goes to sleep with his head in my right hand.

Usually when I wake up in the morning, Buddy is the only one still in bed.  If I open an eye or start to move, he nudges my cheek with his cold wet nose.  If I pull the bedspread up over my face, he lays down on my shoulder and grooms himself, jiggling away, until I get fed up and sit up and get out of bed.

They are the strangest animals I have ever had!!!

Saturday, September 29, 2018

I guess I’m out of touch with this world.

I thought the decision Senator Jeff Flake made was a good one…most of my Conservative friends don’t see it that way.  I thought he was being fair-minded in giving both sides time to regroup.  My Conservative friends think he caved.

My Liberal friends wonder how I could support Judge Kavanaugh, when I, as an abused woman should side with Dr. Ford.  I DO agree that she was abused, but my experience tells me, that if she was, she should remember a lot more details than she does.

Kavanaugh and his friends remind me of the rich Kennedy boys and their friends.  I can very well see that he and his friends would do something like this.  The girls that are “friends” with those kinds of boys/men, think it’s all fun and games.  They flirt and tease, until the boys get overly pushy, then the girls scream and run home. 

I have to stop listening to all of this.  No more watching congressional hearings.  No more reading posts from either side.  They have made me angry to the point I have not felt in many years.

It has brought back unpleasant memories, that I had put on a shelf high in the closet and haven’t thought of in years.  That, in turn, has caused nightmarish dreams and loss of sleep, which in turn, is affecting my daily life….to the point of not waking up in time to attend the funeral of a very dear teacher and friend.

So, you all carry on.  I will not participate.  I will watch as the Evil One, roams about seeking to kill and destroy and pray that God will one day bring us together in peace.  He is the only one who can.