January 31, 1994.  It was a Monday.  The outside temperature was -20 degrees.

Mail delivery was made.  Businesses were open.  Colleges and Schools were open.

I went to work that day, dressed in a winter dress and heels.

It's not that cold today and yet.................the weathermen keep talking about the Wind Chill factor, so everyone is afraid for their lives 

I wish they'd keep the Wind Chill factor to themselves.  It's cold outside.  All I have to do is look at the thermometer and know that it's too cold to be outside for any length of time.  I think we are all smart enough to know that if it is -12 outside, that it's cold.  We don't need to hear that the Wind Chill is -35--what's the difference?  It's too cold be to outside!

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My thermostat is sitting on 72 degrees--I don't change it for summer or winter...72 all the time.  The gas company had told everyone not to use their programmable thermostats.  To set their thermostat on "Hold".  I've known this for years.  I used to have and use a programmable thermostat and found, that if I had it set to go up in temperature before I got home, it took more gas to heat it back up than if I had just left it on 72 while I was gone.  Same with cooling in the summer.

Furniture, drapes, floors, walls--everything in a house cools or warms up.  When the thermostat changes, it takes longer to cool or warm those things in the house and thus uses more gas, than if the temperature held at a certain degree.

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Oh well...as you've all heard...the Polar Vortex decided to take a vacation from the Arctic Circle and come on down "south" for a visit.  No mail delivery.  Government offices shut down.  All colleges and schools closed.  Our Governor advised us to set our thermostats to 65 to conserve natural gas.

Then a doctor came on the news to say that low a temp in a house could be harmful to young children and the elderly.  That it is possible to get hypothermia inside!

I wasn't about to turn my thermostat down to that anyway.  I did set it on 71 and that was comfortable and my furnace didn't come on all that much.

So tonight and tomorrow, the Polar Vortex is going back home.  It is predicted to be in the 40's this weekend and 50 on Monday--some 80 degree shift in temperatures.  We'll be getting our flip-flops and shorts out on Monday.

Then this summer, the weathermen will start in again.  "Today it is 85 with the heat index at 110."  It all just makes us feel worse!!!

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I am continuing with my Swedish Death Clean (that is a real thing.  You can Google about it.)  Another 3 bags and the garbage pail of stuff I will never use again in my life and 4 medium boxes to take to the Salvation Army--when they re-open.

Kitchen and living room are done.  The bathroom is half done--I ran out of allowable space of what the waste management people will pick up.  HAH!

Then I start in here and this room will be the most time consuming.  I have 5 plastic storage boxes--1 of cross stitch patterns, 1 of crochet and knit patterns and 3 containing afghans for Jennifer's kids.  I think I am going to get 3 zippered plastic sweater bags for the afghans and UPS them all to Jennifer.  I was going to wait until each grandkid turned 16, but am ready to see them gone.

My sister wants to come down and go through the cross stitch patterns and when she is done...I am throwing all the patterns out.  I have a 3-ring binder with my favorite baby afghan patterns in it and if I want to do a cross stitch--I will just buy the kit.

I used to have an extensive library.  I had every copy that Danielle Steele wrote, Nicholas Sparks, Stephen King.  I cleared them out a few years ago and donated them to the Salvation Army of sold them on E-bay.  Now I have about 20 books and I need to weed through them again.

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I also have to update my funeral plans--for the umpteenth time.  The funeral home I wanted to use has burned down and not going to rebuild.  I wanted my funeral held from my hometown Methodist church, but now that the Methodist Church is destroying itself from the top down, I don't know if I want my funeral from there.    I could have my funeral from a near-by funeral home, but the nearest one does not do very good "work" and since I want a whole lot of singing, it needs to have a piano.  At my funeral, I want more singing and less preaching.  At least I have my grave stone all set out at the cemetery, so no worries there.

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Now, we get to face, what is to me, the longest month of the year.  February.  Up north, February can be and usually is gray, dark and dreary.  The snow melts away to uncover everything dead and dirty.  It can be very depressing and bothers some people.  That used to be.  I felt I might not make it through February, I was always so depressed and lethargic.  Seems to help that I now have an Ott Daylight Floor Lamp that I sit under to do my handwork.  I don't get depressed anymore, but still......the month seems awfully long.

When I picked up my new glasses last Friday and couldn't see through them, Miss Snippy at Walmart inferred I didn't know how to look through progressive lenses. I told her I have been using progressive for 20+ years. She told me to take my glasses back to my eye doctor because his prescription might be wrong.

Wednesday I went back to the Ophthalmologist--an eye doctor M.D. and they checked my glasses and found out what was wrong. The area used to look at computer and for reading were too small. They wrote her a note and back up to Walmart I went.

I got Miss Snip again--she remeasured my eye placement and said the lenses were exactly as the prescription read. I asked why everything was blurry unless I lifted the glasses up higher on my face.

She then decided I needed to come back, with my old glasses and my new glasses and they will check to see if they need to make new lenses.

I thanked her and smiled a lot, but she is a cold one. Probably hates working with old crotchety people--even though I did not complain and honey was dripping out the corners of my mouth.

So, to soothe my soul I bought myself a nice hot hamburger for supper....and French Fries.

Thursday I had to pick up a prescription at Walmart so I also went back to the eye glass section. Miss Snippy was busy with another customer, so I got a new guy named Joe.

He looked at the new glasses. He looked at my old glasses.

He had me try on each pair and he proclaimed: "The frames are too big. They rest on your cheek bones and that places your sight lines at the wrong position for your eyes."

So Joe trots over to the frame display, brings back 4 styles, which I try on and he and I decide on a frame style.

When I took a closer look, I realized it is nearly the same style I have been wearing for the last two pair--8 years.

Gold wire across the top, rimless on the bottom with adjustable nose piece. Only the ear stem pieces are a different color.

HAH on me!

$300.00 for new glasses and no one will even notice.

It's okay. I only wear glasses in the house, so it doesn't matter--just be nice to have a bit stronger lens the better to see you with, My Dear.

Joe solved my problem in less than 35 minutes.  I will get new frames and lenses and it won't cost me anything.
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We didn't get our Indian Summer warmth in October and by the looks of it, we have missed the January Thaw.  I am thoroughly convinced the Wood Chuck is dead in his burrow and we will miss out on his spring prediction.

It is bitter cold here--air temperatures and with the wind chill--hypothermia can set in as quick as 10 minutes.  It is predicted that next week will be dangerously cold.  Below zero air temps with the wind chill bringing them down into the -30 degree range.  Plus a foot of snow predicted to fall on us next Monday.

I don't mind being snowed in.  With the bitter cold, I won't be going out with my car anyway, so I might as well stay inside.  I fear things like a power outage--although we have only had one that lasted 2 hours since I've lived here.  All our lines are buried in this park...however, if a big transformer out on the highway went out--we'd be in trouble.  So glad my sister and son Mark have whole house generators.
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I don't want to get political, but I am sick at heart with the new abortion law that New York state passed.  A child can be aborted and killed up to the time it is born?  They say it is for the sake of the mother--if she had a problem delivering, they could take apart the baby inside her.

That simply is not true.  At that stage, every gynecologist in the United States says they would do a C-section and deliver child and mother safely.

You know, if this was a law, having to do with dogs/cats, the animal rights people would be up in arms.  I bred my dog, but a week before she was to deliver, I changed my mind and wanted the vet to remove those puppies and kill them.  I'd be put in jail for animal cruelty!!!!!

I can see the future....your child is 8 months old.  You discover they have Autism or Down's Syndrome.  You don't want to be saddled with that, so you just make arrangements to have the child put down.  The Law will state that it is okay up to the time a child celebrates his first birthday.
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You don't see that?  Too Dystopian for you?

A child is as much alive at 8 months in the womb, as he is at 8 months in the cradle.  What's the difference?

Our society is becoming barbaric and more and more evil.

KAREN WITT
PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT THE ADDRESS ABOVE.

I'm glad you found me again, Jody!

I rode up to the funeral with Karen and Mark.  So glad I didn't have to drive!  It was so good to see my ex siblings and nephew, niece and cousins.  They all were very warm in their greetings and hugs.  Especially my nephew.  He and I were close when he was little.  I saved his life when he was 3 months old. He saw me when I first came in the church and came right over.  He's 6'4" now and 53 years old.  

On the way home from the funeral, Karen read me a text she had received from Jennifer. Apparently Jennifer had been checking assisted living places here in my county.  She had found a government housing apartment that would "only" cost 1/3 my income.  She wondered if, "Judy would be interested."  So now...she calls me her Mother, Judy?  That sorta knifed my heart.

I told Karen that I didn't like living in an apartment because I like living in a single unit that has windows on all four sides, and no neighbor's noise on my outer walls and that the rent at 1/3 of my income, would be more than I pay here!

Then I said, "You could let Jennifer know that when she gets the mother-in-law suite finished in her new mansion, JUDY would love to move in with her."
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Monday I had taken everything out of the bottom kitchen cupboards and had the things I had put aside for Karen and Mark to take home.  A big electric griddle, 4-slice toaster, bread machine for Karen and the mixer for Maddie.  It has all the attachments and should last her the rest of her life.

It must have been more of an emotional time for me than I realized, because after Karen and Mark left, I kicked back in my recliner and woke up 3 hours later.

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My house is still a wreck.  It looks like I am either moving in or moving out.

Slowly, and I do mean slowly, I will get it all back together.

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Toodles

I made my "cleaning out" list.  I pictured each room and what needed doing, and visualized what I needed to get rid of.  Then, while I was at Walmart on Tuesday, I accumulated a bunch of large boxes they were going to throw out.  I figure the boxes will hold my mixer and toaster and the other appliances I am going to give to Karen and Maddie.

I was in Walmart because, after a month since my eye examination, I finally took my prescription in for new glasses.  Over the holiday season, friends had sent me some extra money and I had enough saved to get my glasses.  Plastic frames are back in style and I am glad, but it seemed all the styles were dark.  Browns, blues, red.  When I put them on, all I could see was glasses.  My skin is fair and with my gray hair...the frames stuck out like glaring headlights.

Then the clerk suggested that I look at the men's frames.  Well--why not?  My head is as big as most men--I have a wide face and big ears.  The first ones I picked up and put on were perfect.  They are a nearly clear plastic frames and almost invisible against my pale complexion and gray hair.  

Then we sat down for the measurements and when all was done, she gave me the price: $295.00.  Well I know, comparatively, that isn't a bad price for progressive lenses, but all I had was $200.00. So I will have to go back when I get the 95.00 scrounged up.  I finished the big genealogy I was working on and my client owes me $84.00, so that will get my glasses ordered.

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Went to the Old School Gal Pals lunch.  Our Senile Sister was not there, but the Professor was.  She rapped on the table with the handle of her knife for our attention.  Then she regaled us with a story of her and the new Roomba she bought herself for Christmas.  The first 15 minutes of her dissertation were funny....the next 30 minutes got to be a bit much.  Some turned to the person sitting next to them to engage in conversation and when the Professor saw this, rapped the table again with her knife to bring all attention back to her.

We were all finished eating.  She was still taking bites as she had talked so much, her plate was still full.

I left kind of early...my eyes glazed over...and napped on my drive home.
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There was an e-mail message from daughter Karen.  My youngest sister-in-law (ex) had died.  Apparently she had laid on her apartment room floor for 2 days before her landlady noticed she hadn't seen her and her mail had not been picked up.  Her twin sister, her older sister and her brother, my ex, are all in their Florida homes for the winter, so they will have to fly home to make the arrangements.

By far, she was the sweetest sister-in-law.  Married at 19, her husband left her, after two years, when she was 8 months pregnant.  She had a beautiful baby girl that I used to baby sit.  When the little one was 13 months old, she died suddenly from an enlarged heart.

She has had a hard life for sure.  She took care of their mother, who had a stroke, for seven years.

I don't know the details, but I am thinking my sister-in-law probably had a stroke too.

The big fear we women who live alone have.  Dying and not being found for days.
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Dar has quit work.  We all wondered why she ever went back to work.  She sure didn't need the money, after a big settlement from her car accident.  We suspicioned that she wanted a few hours away from her Dad.  

She always checked on him before she left for work.  He usually got up an hour after she was gone.  One day, two weeks ago, after she got to work, she realized that she had left her purse at home.

She came home and noticed her Dad wasn't up.  She checked his bedroom and he was laying on the floor, struggling to breathe.  She called the ambulance and got him to the ER.  He had an AFib attack and a severe case of bronchitis.

He stayed in hospital for a week.  The day after she got him home, she fell and thankfully Dad was there to call the ambulance for her.  She bruise three ribs and her aorta.  Dad is 97 and Dar is 75.  

For the last week there has been a steady stream of delivery trucks and repairmen coming and going.  Pearl can see Dar's front door better than I can and reports that Dar has new carpeting, a new couch and two new chairs, 2 new beds and mattresses, a new refrigerator and yesterday, a new washer and dryer appeared.
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Tomorrow, if we don't get a snow storm--we have had only 3.5" of snow as yet--weird...I am driving up to The Farm.  A cousin from our mother's side is driving down to The Farm and we are going to go over questions she has on genealogy.  Her mother and our were sisters.

I'm not in the mood, but.............................
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I gave Bethie her BIG genealogy yesterday before lunch.  The information she gave me was extensive, but I still managed to find some ancestor's she didn't know about.  We only had a few minutes to go over it before the other Gals arrived, but I think, when Bethie has the time to get into that 160 page book, she is going to be real happy.

I'm finally coming out of my discombobulation.

Since Christmas, I'd wake up each day and wonder what day it was.  So many days felt like Sunday, or Monday because we had a celebration the day before.  The new year affected me almost as much as the time change does.

The 7th sadiversary for Fred was New Year's Day, so that set me to being in my "head" most of the day, finding it difficult to concentrate.  

I had so much to do and didn't know which to do first.  The fact that I had finished the genealogy and wanted to get the pedigrees printed and the book bound...but the print shop was closed, threw me off schedule.  My two oldest grand girls have birthdays on January 3rd and 4th and I completely forgot to make them cards to mail out.

My house was such a mess and I walked around in circles, not knowing which job to tackle first and ended up not doing any of my chores, until this morning.  Perhaps my organized self is returning?  

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I talked to Helene, my oldest grand girl, on her birthday and she said she was going in that afternoon for an ultra sound to see how the twins were doing.  One baby was much smaller than the other and I have worried about that since Dec. 27th when she told me she was pregnant.  She said she would call back later and let me know.

By 11:00 Thursday, when I had received no phone call or e-mail, I knew something was wrong.  Yesterday, Karen told me.  The smallest fetus had died.  Helene is only 7 weeks pregnant and that fetus was the size of a thumb nail.  We are hoping the other baby will be all right and grow as it should with no complications.

I was thinking, back in the day, before all these tests and ultra sounds and the like, you had no idea how many babies you might be having until the doctor listened to the heart beat with his stethoscope.  I had heard of women, when they deliver their baby, the doctor found a small "sac" of cells and informed them that they had been pregnant with twins early on in their pregnancy.

How much easier that would be to bear than to get all excited about twins and have tragedy happen and have to go through that grief.  It is easy to say, everything will be all right and you will have a baby, but that doesn't really help a grieving mother.  Sobbing at the loss of her "other" child--even though it was only the size of a thumb nail.

I can remember when my sister had two miscarriages and my Pammie had five miscarriages, they grieved for those babies as if they had carried them full term and then lost them.

Helene's babies were fraternal twins, each having their own placenta.  To me, that means the viable fetus should not be affected by the other one.  I worry and I know, it is not my place to worry.  It is my place to pray and if it is God's will, I will have a new great grand baby in July.

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50 years ago, I took Pam and Karen to the theatre to see Mary Poppins.  Yesterday, they took me to see the new one.  At first, I didn't like it and then I convinced myself that this movie isn't a "remake" of the original, this is an entirely new one.

I still missed not hearing the original songs, but every now and then, a few bars of that music would be played in the background.

My sister Susan also met us there and my Precious Girl, Madeleine.

Afterwards, Pammie and Karen came to the house.  Pammie to pick up my old TV and DVD player, while Karen installed a new Blue Ray for me.  Boy, they are smart when it comes to figuring out electronics.

When I clean out my closets and cupboards, Karen wants my large electric griddle and bread maker and I am giving my fancy mixer and 4-slice toaster to Maddie for her Hope Chest.  Pam doesn't want anything because she lives alone and doesn't bake or cook a lot either.

Susan wants to come down and go through the 2 storage boxes of cross stitch and knitting/crochet patterns.  

I need to write up a schedule so I can get this chore and my house cleaned.  Like...Monday: clean bedroom and go through closet and drawers.

Tuesday: clean bathroom and clean out cupboards.  Clean out cupboards in laundry area.

Wednesday: clean kitchen and clean out cupboards.

This is the only way I'll get it done and I want to get it done.  

There is something that has been niggling at my mind since December 21st.  I realized that 6 months from that day, I will have my 80th birthday.  It's been on my mind a lot since then--like every day.  I need to get my house in order!  I also need to go through my funeral storage box and make sure my insurance papers have notes on how to collect my life insurance and freshen up my funeral plans.  

These things need to be done and I will feel a lot better when they are.