I woke up in a bad mood this morning. How is that possible? I didn't have any bad dreams. I wasn't thinking or pondering anything upsetting when I went to bed. I had a nice, quiet, restful sleep and didn't wake up until after 8:00, but woke up angry at the whole world!
So of course, I had to analyze it all to death until I had it figured out--because that is the kind of weird person I am. Perhaps everything that went on the whole past week? Lots of little annoyances, each day, that resided in my subconscious not dealt with and came out last night, while I slept?
Maybe it started Monday when the receptionist at the Chiropractor's office said, "You have quite a large balance here." What? Money owed? Since March and you are just telling me now? Two hundred and what? Here's eighty dollars, I was saving it to buy my much needed glasses, but..........
Perhaps it was Wednesday when I wasn't invited to go with the daughter's/grand daughter's?
Perhaps it was Thursday when I had to sit next to the loudest woman in our Old Gal Pals group, all during lunch and listen to her try and dominate the entire two hours and on two occasions, as she was telling stories, I knew she was lying because, I have known her since she was 3 years old and I remember the instances she was talking about and they never happened?
Maybe it was because on Monday, I had asked my sister if she was going to be home and she did not respond, so I took that as a "yes" and drove out there and she wasn't?
Maybe it was Saturday, when it was so cussed hot and muggy I could hardly bear it and Maisey and John stopped in for an hour long chat on the front porch...in that heat... and somewhere in the conversation he stated, "well, I'm not house bound like you are." House bound? He made it sound (to me) like he thought I was a shut-in!!
Of course, it could have been Dar's visit--right at supper time. She came in, plopped in the rocking chair, lit a cigarette, "Whew, what a day," and for the next 30 minutes told me all the minute' details of her day at work and boasted about what a great union rep she is.
I was just about to excuse myself to make supper, there was a knock at the door and it was Dar's co-worker Sheila. For another half hour, they discussed all the grievances they had received over the weekend. Naming names of people, I of course have never heard of. What the plan was, blah, blah, blah.
Of course, I was not included in their bull session. Guests, in my home, who were using my living room as their own personal conference room.
At 7:00, I said, "Well, ladies...I haven't eaten yet and if you will excuse me, I am going to make myself some supper." They finally got up and left.
Yeah--that might have been what ticked me off so I woke up mad this morning.
Or?
All of the above.
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I think I am more mad at myself...that I let these things bother me. At my age, I should be able to let these things roll off my feathers...instead of ruffling my feathers.
I preach about forgiveness and then harbor judgments and anger for days.
Every time I go through a week like this...it all just reaffirms that I want to be a hermit. I don't suffer fools very well lately.
If I had all those things happen to me in one week I would be ripping lips off.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get up in the morning mad at the world and I never do figure out why. I get over it as the day wears on.
So you have a reputation as a shut-in in your neighborhood? I probably do, too. LOL Anyway, Dar isn't noticing. Maybe you need to cultivate a reputation as a shut-out? That does sound clique-y. But who cares?
ReplyDeleteAs Cheyenne said, each of those things would have made a nice compost of upset in my mind, too, especially in the heat. I am so sorry that had to happen, seemingly, all at once for you, and I know how it is all compounded by the heat. Even when inside with AC, the oppressive heat really eats away at one's health and state of mind. I am in the midst of it right now. No sleep for several nights and other things.
ReplyDeleteSending you soothing thoughts and relief from more similar events. Also, I identify with the hermit thing.
Monday I was cranky, too, but without half the irritating things going on in my life as you have. I even told the doctor I didn't feel well but couldn't put my finger on how I felt. That's out of character for me.
ReplyDeleteHaving so many people in your life has got to be a love/hate situation. It certainly gets a bit much quite often but then on the other hand, you don't have much chance to get lonely either.
I would be miffed to be called a shut-in, too. What was he thinking! You drive where you need to go, walk around. Being called a shut-in would make anyone feel old even if you were one which you're not. But friends are allowed an innocence mistake once in awhile and you know he'd never knowingly hurt your feelings. Dar....she's another story! That woman would drive anyone crazy. She's strictly a one-way "friend". The minute you can't full fill her needs she'd turn tail and find another sounding board.
Hope we're both feel better today!!!!!!!!!!!!
Probably a combination of all those things and the fact that you are too nice! You need to speak up more!
ReplyDeleteProbably a combination of all those things and the fact that you are too nice! You need to speak up more!
ReplyDeleteYup. ALL of the above. I think I'm having this kind of day TODAY!
ReplyDeleteI had that kind of day on Monday. I usually have what I call a re-entry day after the kids are here for a couple of days. I guess I miss them and know I won't see them for a few weeks.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want to be called a shut-in. It sounds a little judgmental to me. Some of us like salt and some of us like pepper. Everyone should just do what they do and mind their own business. You are not a shut-in.
getting up on 'the wrong side of the bed; :) :)
ReplyDelete