Moaning on Monday

I know--anyone with severe arthritis, or fibromyalgia or any kind of auto-immune disease that causes pain in the joints and bones/muscles, know what it is like--the pain that is, and how we try to live with it.

My neck and shoulder had been feeling pretty good.  Then I decided to sleep on a different pillow and to tote in heavy groceries using my left hand.

For the past week, the continual pain coming out of neck, into my left shoulder and down into my left wing bone is so severe, it makes me nauseous.  I have tried everything--my hot rice sock, my ice pack, my horse liniment, my OTC pain pills.  Everything helps--for a couple of hours--that's it.

Anything I do, hurts.  Sitting here typing on the keyboard.  Sitting in my recliner crocheting.  Driving the car.  Doing laundry.  Making the bed.  Strangely, the only relief I get is when I lay down at night with my head on the contour pillow.  The one that has a place cut out for my neck and my head lays in a lower circle.  

It takes me down physically and emotionally. I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone, do anything!

I called to make an appointment with my chiropractor--I go in Wednesday afternoon.  I know he can help.  Help, not cure the problem.  There is no cure of stenosis of the C1,2 & 3.  Oh, I'm sure there is some sort of neck surgery they could do, but that is not going to help it.  Shots of Cortisone might help--for awhile, but I'm not that courageous at this time.  Besides, for that, I would need someone to drive me to the pain clinic and then drive me back home.
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Today, my dishwasher doesn't want to drain.  Lovely, just lovely.  I have had this repair done three years ago at a cost of $200.00.  Thankfully, I now have the Appliance Repair Plan through my electric company, which will take care of all of it.  So far, just this year, I have had about $600.00 of repairs and my plan costs $29.99 a month.  I would say, it has already paid for itself.
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It is easy for me to be assertive with John because, I do it in a light-hearted, joking manner.  He takes no offense.  If I did that with Dar, she would be very angry and never speak to me again.  I don't want that from her---I just don't need her coming over here every day and staying for hours.  Today, I have my front door locked and if she comes over, which she probably will around 7:00, I will either not answer, or I will slowly walk to the door and tell her that I am not feeling up to company--which is the truth.

Now, John talks way too much and too long.  Much like Dar, BUT his conversations are always funny and if I want to say something and he starts talking I just say, "Now...it's my turn." and he shuts up, at least momentarily.  He isn't a boaster and his conversations aren't always all about him.  BUT--that isn't to say in the mood I am now, I could take an hour spent with him either.  

I know that he is very depressed and very lonely.  He is used to living in town and walking everywhere he wants to go.  He has his group of church friends that he has lunch or coffee with three times a week.  He is very social, unlike me.  He now calls me "Hermie", because I told him I was a hermit.

When his dog Maisey dies, he is going to move back to Brighton into the Millpond Apartments, which are government subsidized and your rent is based on your income.  The last place on this earth where I'd want to live.  I need windows on all sides of my abode.  I need quiet and not having to put up with people on all sides and below or above me.  I lived in a townhouse once, for a year, with windows only on two sides, and it drove me crazy!!!

Okay--I'm off here.  It is so hot and humid outside that I am staying in--at least until the weather breaks or Wednesday.  Whichever comes first!!
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6:30 pm
I saw her coming.  I ran into my living room, sat and flipped my recliner back and waited.

I heard her knock and then try to open the locked door.  

I lay there with my eyes closed--peeked a bit.

Then she walked off the porch and around to look in my living room window!!

Back to the porch and tried the door again.

I got up, walked to the door unlocked it and she said, "Can I come in for awhile.  I won't stay long."

"Oh...I just don't feel well...I was napping."

"I'll just be a minute...I want to tell you something."

"I don't feel well enough, Dar."

"Okay.  Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes.  Please."
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Subterfuge?  Yes.  But it worked and I'm glad because I just could not handle her today!