SIGH

Well, let's see.  How can I make this post a positive one?

I am positive that...things are going to get much worse before they get any better.

I am positive that...I'm losing my mind.

I am positive that...I would just as soon die in my sleep.

But then, I worry about that because:  who would take my cats and be nice to them?  Do I have enough life insurance to pay for my funeral?  
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I am positive there are no solutions for any of this.  I am positive I have no action plan.  I am positive I am truly depressed.  I am positive I don't do a thing except sit in my house...because ya know, my car radiator has a leak in it and my two serpentine belts are about to break and...I am positive I don't want to be on the road when that all happens!

I have three estimates on getting a radiator and the 2 belts--a MUST before winter.  All come in at around $500.00.  My regular service garage has the cheapest labor at $82.50 an hour.  Most charge $85.00 and some near $100.00.  

One place I called cheerfully told me, "I can get ya a new radiator and the belts, replace the antifreeze AND wash your car, all for under five hundred.  In fact, for $485.00!"
<WOW>

I can't seem to find any auto mechanics that work from their residence, BECAUSE Michigan law frowns on that and they can't advertise or they will get into trouble.  

Plus John can't remember the mechanic he knows, name OR phone number.  

He did promise to drive up to the guy's place and find out what it would cost me--"if the guy is even in business anymore."
GEEZ LOUISE!
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Yesterday I felt something strange in between two top teeth.  It felt kind of like a popcorn hull or something.  I went at it with my metal pick, my in between teeth brush, dental floss, fingernails--nothing would dislodge it.  Then last night I realized, it is a tiny wire off my 30 year old bridge!  So today I have an emergency visit to my dentist.  I wonder what that will cost!

I still owe her $200.00 (from the $800.00 crown) that I am paying off at $50.00 a month!
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Yesterday, I got a blood draw for my cardiologist and a copy to my primary care doc.  I fasted like a crazy fool, not even water, only to find out when the results came in, there was no request to have my cholesterol checked!!!

The cardiologist nurse called to tell me the results were fine.  So, I went on-line to my "patient portal" to check myself and found my white blood count is up, which can mean an infection and my glucose was at 110!  Which I think is too high, so---------
I have an appointment with my primary care guy on Monday.  I wonder what that will cost!

I still owe him $80.00 that insurance didn't cover ($225.00) and am paying him at $30.00 a month.
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Then in the mail this morning, I got a reminder from my  chiropractor that I owe him $210.00 that insurance didn't cover.  Maybe when I get my doc paid off, I can start paying him off?  In my opinion, I can't go back for any more adjustments if I am owing him money already.
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I could cash in my life insurance policy, but at this time, the $10,000.00 policy is only worth $425.00 and that won't even pay for a radiator and belts.  LOL

I checked with my DHS case worker and the only time they pay for car repairs is if you need that car to get to work.  

 I need a Go Fund Me set-up, but if it's not for hospital or funeral bills, I think it's kind of tacky.  
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I thought about putting a Red Light on my porch, but.......at a dollar a "throw", I'd probably have to give back change!!! I have nearly forgotten what all is involved in a sexual encounter, but I do know---I'm too tired!!!

I had a gift card at Wal-Mart--that I was going to use for my new glasses and some money on my Wal-Mart Savings Bucks car--also going to combine for my new glasses, that I took yesterday and got cat food.  If it didn't smell so bad, I'd eat it for lunch, but..........
I did get myself some food, and my blood thinner prescription, and a half gallon of milk and fresh fruit, so I'm set until September 3rd--when thankfully my Social Security hits my bank account, which I checked today and have a balance of 36 cents.

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AHA, I knew if I thought about it long enough something positive would come to my mind--my new old insurance--Blue Cross Supplemental Insurance, goes into effect on September 15th.

My new Humana Prescription Drug Plan, the same day.

I am now paying $19.90 a month for the awful insurance I DO have and the new/old one will cost $40.42 and the new drug plan, $15.70, so it is more a month, BUT it used to cover everything at the chiropractor's office (if I didn't get a massage or ultra sound) and it covered doctor's office calls and dermatologist and all tests and.....everything, except $1,000 when I had hip surgery and I don't plan on needing that ever again.

SO--as soon as I pay the deductible of $300.00 on the new insurance, I should be good to go.  Having already paid the $500.00 deductible on the Advantage Plan I had from January until now.

I have already spent twice as much this year on medical/dental than I did last year.  That's why I had to ditch the Advantage Plan.
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Doesn't it all become laughable after awhile?

Does anyone know where I can find a Sugar Daddy, who doesn't want any "sugar", but if I sweeten his life a tiny bit, would like to give me three grand?