title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Oh my!


I barely had my clothes on and Dar came running in.  She was all flustered and hyper.

"I have just used 440 minutes on my phone!"

"440 minutes?  What did you do.  Start talking in the middle of the night?

"No!  Eight o'clock this morning!"
<it was 10:00 now>

"Sit down.  Take a deep breath and tell me, what in the world is going on?"

"My alcoholic son called me.  He has stopped drinking."

"Didn't he do that a month ago?"

"Yes.  But now he says, it's for good.  He wanted to know if he could come live with me."

"And, what did you say?"

"I said 'no'--just like last time.  So I expect, just like last time, he'll call me back in a few hours, drunk again and cursing me out."

"Or maybe...he really means it this time."

"The phone rang fifteen minutes later and it was...Connie!"

"Oh my gosh!  You're kidding.  What did she want?"

"She called me 'Mommie" and said that she wants to bring the girls and come and visit me for a weekend.  That she wants us to talk and reconnect our relationship!"

"Oh...that's wonderful!"

"No.  It.  Is.  Not!"

"But, if you do reconnect, than  you will be able to see your grandkids."

"I don't trust her.  I'm not letting her in MY house."

"But---it's her house too.  Her name is also on the title.  She bought the house."

"I don't care!  I'm scared of her and I am not letting her in.  I told her I'd get us a motel with a pool and we can spend the weekend there."

"Oh.  That doesn't seem a place that would be very conducive to an intimate, personal conversation."

"Well, what would you do...if Jennifer called and said she wanted to come over and talk about your relationship...try to repair it."

"I'd ask her how soon she could get here!"

"How could you forgive her that easily?"

"Because...she is my child."

"Oh.  You're the wrong one to ask!!"
<I felt some heat arising>

"Well Dar, you wanted to know what I'd do and I told you.  If you want someone to only agree with you...then I guess I am the wrong one to ask."

"Well...I just came over for a minute.  I have to go get my Bigby coffee and some cigarettes.  I am just so upset."

She got up and put on her coat.

"Okay," I said.  "Hope you get it all worked out.  Bye."
=================
I had to run up to Howell after she left and, as I drove by Pearl's, this is what I saw.

Sand Cranes walking between her and her neighbor's place.

I noticed that most of our trees are coming into their last phase of color.  Not as vibrant as last week and, losing most of their leaves.

A view off my back porch.

View out my bedroom, bath and kitchen window



 Down by the park and lake at the end of my street



There is a really nice large lake on the way to Howell.  Sometimes, like today, I stop in the park and just look out at the glistening water.
 This spot reminds me of Fred.  Every single time he went
up to Howell, he'd stop here for a few minutes.

This is a photo he took in 2010


My neighbor's across the street have their deck finished and both sets of steps done.  Looks nice, doesn't it?
===============
If I miss a day of posting here, do not be alarmed.  I am working on a "How To" book that my friend Chris has encouraged me to write.  It is taking a lot of writing and taking photos of maintenance stuff and gardening stuff.

I can't come up with a decent title.  She wants me to put my name in the title and I don't want too, LOL.

So, If I don't post, it is because I am tired of writing all day. :-)

8 comments:

  1. The photos of the fall colors are beautiful! Leaves are just beginning to turn here and the grass is still very green in places. It's strange to be baling hay at the end of October.

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  2. I love sand cranes and have never seen one so up close and personal! Love the photos, too, and the Dar story has me shaking my head. It sounds like she was disappointed that you didn't validate her feelings about rejecting her daughter attempt to visit. To bad because you're right about forgiveness.

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  3. Oh I would stop at that gorgeous lake too! :) Lovely scenery :)

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  4. Dar? Bless her heart; no really, it's sad that she can't be forgiving, and as you alluded to; your/her CHILD.

    Love the lake and the leaves, so pretty. :)
    Get to writing! I wish you the best, Judy.
    xoxo

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  5. Sand Cranes. What a privilege to see!

    I love how you don't talk down to people like Dar, who have such trouble thinking in a straight line when super flustered! I know someone like that >>me<<

    I'm probably projecting here, because I'm learning to take my own misgivings more seriously. It could be that Dar senses that her daughter has a selfish agenda. In that case, the idea of getting a motel could be a good idea. It's neutral territory and may feel safer for Dar to be in. The kids could be occupied in the pool, while the adults have a heart to heart. Just another take on it.

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  6. You could name your book - "Just Ask Judy"
    Also, sand cranes are beautiful. What a gift!

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  7. When my niece once asked me how I could have forgiven someone for a certain something, I asked her what could I win if I kept the grudge, and look how much I had to gain if I forgave. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

    Your new neighbors place is looking good. I'm gad for you because it's your view. It's always nice if our neighbors keep things looking nice.

    The sand cranes are pretty. I miss being near water like we were at Dad's because there is so much wildlife.

    Good luck with your book, but don't forget us. Some of us look forward to your posts like kids look forward to the toy store. How about: Fix it with Judy!

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  8. OMG Judy I miss all of your posts now that you don't come up on my feed! I'll be playing catch up as soon as I can! Love the pictures, especially ones of the lakes!

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