Today's high temperature was: 72 degrees
Sunny all day--so pleasant
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I walked up to visit Pearl this morning and she was in a really bad mood!
"I've been married fifty-nine years! Merle has never been one to ever compliment me, but now....that man is getting so mean!"
"Merle?"
"Oh yes. He doesn't show it to the world, but..... It exasperates me when I ask him a question and he doesn't answer. I know he hears me--he just won't answer. All it would take it a Yes or No or I don't know. He just sits there reading."
"Men get so used to hearing their wives blab that after awhile...they just kind of quit listening."
<so glad I live alone>
"I am in the process of sanding the top of the dining room table. It needs to be refinished. He comes in from work and tells me I'm doing it all wrong. I'm seventy-eight years old and have done this sort of thing for over forty years and HE is telling me I don't know what I'm doing?"
<I remember that kind of criticism--so glad I live alone>
"Remember me telling you Pammie felt so good when she patched her roof because, 'Momma--there was no one looking over my shoulder telling me I wasn't doing it right.' "
"It's just all the time now. He told me the other day that I should just throw out the cell phone and the laptop because I was too stupid to use them. I had plants that I needed to get in the pots and I asked him if he'd pick up the heavy bag of dirt and pour some in the pots and he said, "Next year I don't think you should plant anything if you have to ask for help'"
"Merle!? This is sweet Merle you are talking about?"
"Sweet? I'd like to bash him up side the head. Sometimes I get sort of shaky, I am so angry at him. I want to throw something at him. We sit here at night...three feet apart...and he won't talk...won't answer me if I ask a question...just ignores me. I just want to get up and slap him!"
<I am soooo glad I live alone>
"Is it too late to get a divorce?" she asked with tears in her eyes.
"Yes "
I regularly see many long time marriages that seem to get very dysfunctional as people retire, and get older.
He was supposed to put up a railing on their steps---two years ago--hasn't done it yet. No wonder Pearl fell--even I have a hard time getting up and down their front steps.
He was supposed to help her weed her front garden--two weeks ago--hasn't done it yet. I am going down next week and do it. Pearl can't bend over. Pearl is still dizzy from her fall. I can't bend over very well, but I can do it better than her.
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When I went out at 2:00 to do a walk about and look over my Kingdom, Yappy Dog was on her porch. She started in and I walked over to have a one-on-one chat with her.
"Now Gidget, you know me and you don't have to bark every time I come out here."
She was up on the raised porch so we were face-to-face. She started licking my nose and cheeks and bouncing around.
I petted her and kept telling her "Ah, she's a good dog". Her Momma was sitting there and having a good laugh.
I walked away and of course, Gidget went nuts again and her Momma told her to "Be still. Judy is a nice person. No barking!"
Later, around 4:00, I crept very quietly out toward the shed and Gidget saw me and started in and wiggling like crazy. Now she barks--not at a stranger, but at a friend.
Guess I will just have to put up with yappy dog!!!
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Everyone is showing pictures of their beautiful Lilac bushes. Here's my picture:
So very sad
Tonight I went outside to see if I could see the Meteor Shower. I stood and looked up so long that I made myself dizzy. Can you still stand and look up and not feel unsteady? I saw a few, zipping through space, but the one thing I did notice...the star that connects the cup to the handle of the Big Dipper is very dim. I know, it has been 30 years since I used to lay outside on the lawn, at night and look at the stars and it was bright them, but.....knowing it is fading, sort of made me sad.
My Forsythia didn't bloom. My Lilacs hardly bloomed. My Privet hedge looks dead, as do my Rose Of Sharon bushes. Stars are growing dim and dying...and so am I.
I think I need to go to bed, instead of pondering!
Remember Decoration Day and why it is--have a great weekend!
I think Pearl's problem is that she forgets that Merle is getting older and more worn out too. What she can no longer do, she asks him to do and he is probably having a hard time keeping up with his own stuff. That's why he snapped at her about not planting so much next year. Very sad to see couple who'd been together so long, get snappish with each other but it's common.
ReplyDeleteMy dogwoods didn't make it through the winter. But my lilacs did though one didn't bloom.
Glad you've made friends with the yippy dog even though it didn't really solve your problem. LOL
That's how one of my neighbor's dogs behaved. We'd talk to him, pet him and he was fine. The next day he'd see us in our yard and go nuts with the barking, as if he'd never seen us before.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for Pearl and Merle. Aging isn't easy. We were talking the other day about how some people mellow as they age and some become ornerier. :)
You guys had such a tough winter. We had a colder and longer winter than usual, too, but not by your standards, and we didn't get all that snow. I seemed like it was snowing, had just snowed or was getting ready to snow every time I read your blog. Maybe you'll have a mild one next year. Sad about hour lilac.
I think the bad winter has hurt many people's bushes...I lost lilac blooms about two years ago but we'd had a heat wave and then a heavy frost / it is touch and go in the spring :(
ReplyDeleteSo sad about Pearl and Merle, aging is not always gentle. As Jean said, I would bet that Merle is not happy about his own frailty and taking it out on Pearl.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite thing about this post is the very true statement..."Judy is a nice person".....the yapper will most likely calm down soon.
I think many plants will :take a rest: this year and perhaps be more beautiful than ever next year but it is tough for us as we miss the reward of their beauty after this interminably long cold winter.
May your day be full of beauty in your garden!
Aw, that's a shame about some of your plants, Judy. Such a difference from last year.
ReplyDeleteI had an aunt & uncle who were married over 70 years; she would have given anything if he would have shown her any attention at all. He lived to l05 1/2 and shortly after she became rather senile. Didn't even remember that he had died. So very sad. My mom always said she felt badly that her brother treated her the way he did.
Well, Hunter and I have been "gardening" this weekend, and I'm telling you it has been hotter than hot! When you whole head is wet, you know it's hot. :)
xoxo