title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Weekend, Neighbors, White Headed Birds and Friends.

Today's high temperature was: 16 degrees
Last night's low was:  -12 degree
Sunny all day
====================================
I had a most wonderful Saturday--wonderful.  You already saw the collage I put up yesterday, well, this is where I got that most recent picture.



Madeleine plays French Horn in her school's highest band--
actually it is called Wind Ensemble.  I think of an ensemble
as 4-5 people, but there are around 50 in this group--
only the best musicians.
They had their District Competition and of course I was there.

Afterwards, I wanted to get pictures.  When Karen was done
taking a pix of Maddie and I, I got the other French Horn
players, that I adore, and we had a group shot

Maddie put her horn down on the floor behind me!
I grabbed it to keep it safe!
Madeleine calls me Gramma Judy, Brian calls me Grandmother,
and Drew (to the right with glasses) calls me Grandma.
I adore these kids as if they were my own grandchildren!!


Then we went into the cafeteria to wait for the posting
of their marks

theirs are the bottom scores--Straight One's


 ...and there was.....Matthew (my favorite)
the drum major for the marching band and
trombone player.
Is he not adorable?  He is growing his hair long
as he has the starring role in the musical "Grease".
He calls me Grammy. 

He is the one I want Maddie to date.
They did go out a couple of times, but he isn't Catholic
and Karen's kids are smart enough to know not to get serious
with someone that isn't of the same faith.
(and I agree)

I had such a wonderful day--I was high with happiness the rest of the day.
===============================
I have to explain about that remark of getting serious dating someone not of your faith.  My third grand child, Karen's oldest son Marcus, met a beautiful, lovely girl when he was a Senior in high school.  She lived in Missouri, but they wrote back and forth and visited each other on school vacations.  Her parents are Baptist missionaries--Marcus is Catholic and thought of going into the priesthood at one time.  You can see a problem developing here, can't you.

Her parents made her break up with Marcus, but after she graduated, she told her parent's she was going to date Marcus, move to Ohio and go to the University of Toledo.  Her parent's told her that if she did, she was dead to them.  They told her she would go to Hell for being with an "idol worshipping heathen."

At a family get-together at Karen's, she, Megan Joy was there.  She was distraught, missing her parent's and her younger sister.  Karen asked me if I would talk to her and Marcus and tell them how I felt when she, Karen, married a Catholic.

So I did.  I told Megan that I knew exactly how her parent's felt.  That I was terribly upset when I learned that my daughter, a strong involved in our Methodist church,  was going to marry a Catholic.

I said, "My Mother had a book entitled, "What To Say To Your Daughter When She Wants To Date A Catholic."  But...rather than lose my daughter, I let her make her choice.  I knew that she was a strong Christian and I figured she'd be a strong Christian Catholic."

Megan nodded her head.  I could see Marcus' reaction--he never knew how I felt about his parent's marriage.

"Now...look at Mr. and Mrs. Rivard.  Their marriage is one of the best I have ever seen.  Look at their children (I patted Marcus hand), isn't this family the most wonderful you have ever known?  Catholic's don't worship idols!  Mr. and Mrs. Rivard are just as stalwart Christian's as your parents are.  Your parents will come around in time.  You just have to follow your heart."

So these two young people have dated for the last four years.  I think all of us thought they would marry and we all loved Megan.  I especially loved her middle name Joy--as she exuded joy all the time.

I found out at Christmas time that they no longer were dating.  It just about broke my heart, but Megan will not convert to Catholicism and won't promise to raise their children in the Church and this has shaken Marcus, who takes his religion very seriously.  Neither one of them are dating anyone else and they occasionally go out and she calls Karen on the phone often, but.....

As my Mother used to say, "If you ONLY date boys of your own religion, you won't fall in love with someone of a different religion and have to go through problems that it might cause."  

Maddie has seen the pain that Marcus is going through and so she won't date anyone but a Catholic.  I see nothing wrong with that, but.....Matt sure would make a wonderful grandson for me!!!  :-)
======================
I woke up Sunday morning to five inches of new snow.  A young man knocked on the door and asked if I wanted him to clear off my car and driveway--for "ten bucks".  I told him, "I have a regular guy who comes and does it for me.  Thank you so much for stopping and asking though."

Well--Dan the snow shoveling man--never showed up--all day--and not this morning!!!
=========================
I woke up this morning in a MOOD!

I had a night terror and woke up around 2:00 a.m. yelling, "NO", and thrashing around.  I did get back to sleep and then woke up at 4:00 a.m. with what felt like a UTI--it burned so bad to go to the bathroom.  I finally rolled out of bed near 11:00 and I was mad!

The muscles in my back hurt so bad, so I rubbed on some of the horse liniment I use and took two Ibuprofen.  Then, it still burned to go potty, so I took some antibiotic and some Pyridium to stop the urinary pain.

I fed the cats, noticed that the humidifier wasn't working, shut it off, got my warm cocoa and came in here.  I glanced out the window and there was Dar walking up to my door.  ARGGH!!

"OH MY GOD--you aren't even dressed yet!"

"No--I just woke up.  I had a bad night and I have a urinary tract infection."

"You better get right to the doctor!"

"I took an antibiotic and some other medicine for it."

"You get to the doctor!!"

"And what would he do?  He'd write me a prescription for an antibiotic and some Pyridium to stop the pain.  I have all that and I have already taken it."

"Drink lots of water."

"I will."

"It's because of all that Pepsi you drink."

"The first ingredient listed in Pepsi is water."

"Why is your vacuum sitting out?"

"Because...I vacuumed yesterday and I have more to do today?"

"Well..get dressed!  I am going to Art Van and buy a  new recliner and I want you to come."

"I don't really feel very good, Dar...and I am just waking up...and...I need a new recliner and if I go and see them, it will just make me feel bad because I can't afford one and........"

"I know you need a new one.  Get your credit card and let's go."

<okay--she better leave or I AM going to slap her!>

"You need a new chair.  I need a new chair, now let's go."

"I told you...I cannot afford a new chair."

"Well--you didn't buy a good one to begin with.  The fabric is worn, the back keeps falling off.  You need to get a more expensive one and it will last longer."

<okay--I am no longer going to slap her, I am going to throw my worn out recliner at her and hope it injures her!!!>

"No thanks.  I think I might go back to bed."

"Gawd--you aren't any fun."

<and she left--just in the nick of time, I might add>
===========================

I got on the computer, drank my (by now) luke-warm cocoa, took my vitamins and read my e-mails.  Then I got up to go to the bathroom again and when I came back in here, I could not access the Internet and my phone was dead!  ARGGH!!

This is the fourth time in two months that it has happened.  The last time I called, they told me to go get a new modem.  

I turned everything off and waited for a couple minutes--then turned it back on, reset the modem, and it was working...but I figured I'd better call Comcast.  They had me turn everything off again and they sent a new refresh signal to my modem and all the lights came on.  Then, they said they were going to send a service guy out tomorrow to check and make sure it is not their cable or modem causing the problems.  It won't cost me anything IF it is a problem with their equipment.  If there is something wrong inside the house, it will cost me thirty nine-ninety nine.  Forty bucks--and you and I both know my luck!  I have checked everything and cannot find a problem in here, but.....who knows!!!  
===========================
All of this did not help my mood.  I got dressed, took the 9 gallon (big) humidifier apart and cleaned it all up.  The filter was all brown and hard all around the edges.  Now--this humidifier is an evaporative filter one and I know enough that if the filter is in that condition, if won't work.  It won't draw the water up to evaporate it.  Every store in this area is out of water treatment to kill the lime and scale, which I always use AND there are no filters to be found.  I shut the humidifier down and am already getting shocks from everything I touch in this house.  I had to get on-line and order some.  Thanks goodness the filters are only $4.50, but of course the shipping..... ARGGH!!!
===========================

Then I heard a noise outside and there was Merle--shoveling out my driveway and cleaning off my car!!  I love that little man!  (He is little--5'6")
============================
I felt a bit better physically, so after watching my Soap, I drove into the Rich People's store in Brighton and got myself a small yellow cake with nice thick icing, an Antipasto salad, some tuna mac salad and 1/4# seafood salad--it is expensive so I only get a little bit--Lordy, it is so delish!!  On the way home, I stopped and got a Subway with my gift card.  A foot-long, spicy Italian sub on herb and cheese bread with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber slices and onions. 

Tonight, after eating my comfort food, my mood is improving.
=============================
Did you see the weather man Cantore on the national news tonight?  He forecasts colder weather for Michigan for the next 3 months--because of the frozen over Great Lakes.  Isn't that just special?  ARGGH.  We may not get to plant our annuals until July--and then, it will be a bit too late to enjoy them for very long.
================================
I went on a wild bird website and asked the question about my white headed bird and the consensus is it is a Finch--related to the House Finch, but with pigment missing from his head feathers.  The condition is called Leucism.





===========================================
I was looking at photos from now and last year.  You know what?  I actually think I look better with grey hair.  That blond color (the same one I have used for 30+ years) was getting a bit brassy and yellow looking.
What do you think?




and much better than I looked 2 years ago. 



=======================================
I have a friend--she's actually my kid's age and she lived with me for almost a year, some nearly 30 years ago.  We were very close--closer then sister's I feel.  Much closer than parent and child for sure. We were both in bad situations at the time and we used to have long, long talks.  Sometimes lasting well into the early morning.   We talked about our abusive childhoods and our fears and...all of it.  She eventually moved--I took her to the bus station myself and cried after she left.  She  had nothing and yet she was moving clear out to Idaho and going to go to college.  

We have kept in touch, of course.  She helped me find a publisher for my first e-book.  I am trying to help her with a new novel and setting up her e-books to be printed out in book form.

She has always been so supportive of me.  I posted a picture of me on Face Book and she commented, "Oh, I love that face!"  I write a story and she thinks it is a literary masterpiece.  I cross stitched an angel picture for her a long time ago and she thought it was the most wondrous thing she has ever seen...and yet, she knits things that are much more wondrous than my cross stitch picture.  

I adore her and think of her as my child from another mother.  

Long story short, she married a military man and has had a wonderful life.  Fred and I stopped in Virginia, on our way to The Outer Banks, to have supper with her husband and her.  I knew when we parted, I probably would never see her again as they were moving overseas and then retiring to Texas or Idaho and I'd be dead in a few years.  

She has offered, many times, to send me airplane tickets to visit her in Germany--Italy, wherever they have been stationed.  Now--here she is, about to leave her hubby in Italy, while she moves back to the States.  She has Lupus and the weather in Italy is not conducive for good health for her.  She has been sick all winter.

So, they are in the process of getting her moved--can you imagine how that would feel?  To have to leave the man you love and move far away?  And be all alone--on your own.  Oh--I know she can do it.  She is a military wife and has been alone before.  She is very resourceful and extremely capable.  

BUT--in the midst of all this, she has offered to send me money to pay for my furnace.  

Not a loan.  

A gift. 

How can I accept this?  It would be impossible to accept it from my own child or my sister...and yet this beautiful woman wants to help me...not just help, but save me...and I am suppose to accept it without any notion to pay her back?  I am the "older".  I am supposed to be the one helping her!

...and yet.....

Can you believe such a person?  



11 comments:

  1. The deal to give you money to pay for your furnace is called "pay it forward."

    Yes, I like the silver gray hair better. It gives you a softness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree about the grey making me look softer.

      Delete
  2. I agree about the gray. Blonde can get that brassy look sometimes. You look better now than a couple of years ago. You're reversing the clock, Judy.

    Maddie is a cutie pie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, yes, from one silver-haired woman to another, I do love your look now and the photos of you with your beautiful granddaughter are really lovely and you look so happy.
    Sure hope you are feeling better today. A UTI is a very painful thing and seem to take forever to go away.
    I believe your friend feels that helping you out with the new furnace, is a heartfelt gift of friendship. Your loyalty to that friendship through all these years must be an invaluable treasure to her. I am so happy for you!!!
    I love reading about your shopping acquisitions at the "rich people's store." Such fun, and yummy, I am sure. I love seafood salad, too.
    It seems endless winter here, too. Very cold this morning. I am headed out to visit the pulmonologist and see what he thinks the future holds

    ReplyDelete
  4. I smile as I read your sharing this morning.
    15 degrees, snow everywhere and it will not melt today.
    I do believe
    it will begin tomorrow.
    Truck doors frozen and hopefully Thursday can go to grocery.
    Sad things happen, good things, ups and downs
    and we all make it.
    Love your images and lucky you are to have near neighbors.
    Take care, heal quickly and your friend
    is very special..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sounds and looks like you did have a nice day out! My sister married Catholic, raised missouri synod and they have 4 wonderful boys. I would need a pot of coffee before a visit from Dar! Your friend sounds very special! Enjoy your day judy

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love reading your words every day. I feel like I can hear your voice as you write. What a lovely friend you have, even through time and distance. Remember that if you say no, you are depriving her of a blessing of giving to you. A blessing shared is doubled, a burden shared is halved. Madi is just beautiful. I agree your granddaughter is very wise deciding to only date those who are of the same faith. Especially when your faith is important to you - marriage is hard enough without that battle too.
    I miss cake with glorious icing. I could make it myself so it would be gluten free, but then it's not nearly as good when you have to clean up after yourself :-). It feels like the winter will never end. I'm trying to find a cottage in Michigan for a week this summer - if it ever comes! I'm trying to look forward to warm weather, birds, planting garden and flowers...ahhh, some day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. by the way - I LOVE your gray hair - it really makes you look younger, and I have always thought you looked younger than your age any way! Also, try soaking your filter in a shallow pan or something using white vinegar. I was astounded at how it cleaned all the deposits, etc. out of my shower head. Just plain white vineagr!

      Delete
  7. I like the gray too. I think you look younger than you did in your older picture and I think it's because you are happier now than back then, you've settled in so well to your new normal after losing Fred.

    Maddie is adorable!

    Your friend is one of those true friends. You must accept her gift in the spirit it was offered....Friendship and Love.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I definitely like the way you look with the natural hair color. It does soften your features and makes you look younger! Glad you're feeling better Judy. All I have left to say is that it's a shame that something man-made (religion) could keep a beautiful union from happening.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree that the gray looks much better and it's funny you should post these pictures because last week I made the same decision not to have the low-lights put in my hair again. It's going to take a couple of months for the gray to take over again, but I can't stand how soft and limply those dyes make my hair feel. I hope I look as good as you do with the gray back!

    You know, sometimes when someone is as seriously sick as your friend it's a gift TO THEM to let them help you out with something like paying for your furnace. She clearly loves you and has the means to do it and no one likes to sit back and watch a good friend worry and stress when they have the ability to help. She probably doesn't have the physical ability to help herself much and has to take a lot of help from others. Think about it. Is your heart big enough to let her pay it forward in a way that is meaningful and fulfilling TO HER?

    ReplyDelete