Pretty Cool Day

...and I mean that in a weather-wise sense.  A cold front came through last evening, after the rain and it is cool and I mean, COOL!  We are talking, October cool.  54 degrees outside when I woke up this morning.  65 in the house.  I did NOT turn on the furnace to take off the chill and I also did not open the front door and windows either.

Nothing much happening around here today.    Very quiet in fact.  No construction going on across the street, no one mowing their lawn.

Dar is at work.  I did see her for a few minutes yesterday morning before she went to work.  She came over....get this...she came over to show me her new underwear!  Her pants are still very tight, and she is still wearing bikini style underpants, BUT they are a larger size AND ..they are beige.  At least she took part of my advice.  I noticed, as she walked away, her behind did look a bit better, but.................as she walks, her rear view still looks like two Hippopotamus fighting inside a gunny sack!

I did the usual--cleaned up the bathroom and kitchen; watched my Soap and read a bit.

So nice and sunny today--a perfect day to work out in the gardens.  I visited my "cutting garden"--sounds all so fancy, doesn't it.  It is my 8 x 3 raised bed, filled with Zinnia's and one volunteer, grape tomato plant.  I now have bokays of Zinnia's in every room, which makes me smile.  They are just the simplest, most colorful flower to grow.

and I got three ripened grape tomatoes, to eat on the walk back to the house.

Then I decided to call Bethie.  I couldn't remember the days she works at the pet adoption place, but I knew, she didn't work on Wednesday's.  We had a wonderful chat.  She is doing really well.  Of course, as we who have had loved ones die, we know---you never forget--you just learn to live with the loss.  Right now, she is still in the "think about him everyday" stage.  The first thought in the morning--the realization, again, they are gone and that bit of an ache.  Then we gather ourselves and try and go on with our day.

I think it must be especially difficult when it is your child.  I know my sister tells me that "I don't think of Matthew every day like I used too, but I still think of him and wonder, what kind of man he would have turned out to be.  What his children would be like.  If they would live near.......thoughts like that come and go."

It's like with so many things in life.  You don't know the feeling, unless you've experienced that same feeling.  I have never experienced the death of a child, so I can't know exactly how it would feel--other than I know it would be the most awful feeling.  I can't even imagine it.

Grief is not the same--for each occasion--for each person.  A Widow feels grief differently than a parent would, than a child would at the death of their parent.

Would it be easier to remain unmarried and childless, to protect from ever having to go through that kind of grief?  I guess not.  My Mother used to say, "You can stay aloof and uncommitted and save yourself pain, or you can commit to life and all it brings and know deep love...and know, it is all worth it."

My Mother used to ask profound, philosophical questions of me.  Like, "If the Russians came and said they were going to shoot all Christians.  Would you step forward and be shoot, or would you step back and save your life...knowing that by denouncing your faith, you'd spend eternity in Hell."

Or--"If the Russians came and said you had to give up one of your children.  Which child would you choose?"

I don't know why it was always the Russians.  I guess because they were our biggest threat in the '50's and '60's.    I never did figure out the answers---I guess I thought it was a long-shot or I'd think of some other way to get away from the Russian's?

Nowadays--it would be Hamas or ISIS who would be asking me those questions.  I know what I'd do now, as I have no young children to have to choose from---only me---and I'd hope I would not deny my faith and step forward.   You think nothing like that would ever happen here---I think of those Christians in the East who are being asked that question now.  "Convert to Islam or you will be killed!"

No, it will never happen here.  At least not in my lifetime.
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Gosh--how did I get off on that tangent?