I appears that Mr. & Mrs. Vampire have made up and are back to snuggling under each other's wing.
I heard "machine" noises this morning and looked out. They are putting asphalt on the gravel service drive!! YAY!! We who live close to the service drive watched, all summer long, as dust rolls in from the west, when the trucks go up and down--each and every day! We have written letters of complaint, but to no avail.
Now--that the parent's of the park Manager are moving on to the lot beside the service drive--well. So I get new neighbors that will take away my view,, and with a yappy dog, but the paved service drive will cut down on the battle of the dust. There has to be a tiny win in there for me somewhere.
Service Drive, there on the left.
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I went into the attorney's office this morning and "we" read through 50 pages of stuff to file with the Bankruptcy Court. Then, I signed half of them. He will file next week and probably we will go to court a month from now. I have to drive clear up to Flint and try and remember where the Federal Court Building is. I'm not afraid of getting lost, but I am not going to enjoy that loooong drive. Much longer than I am used too. Flint is not in our County, but is the Federal Bankruptcy Court for 5 counties near by.
I did get some tears in my eyes, which unsettled the young attorney. He patted my hand, which made me feel worse. I just feel filled with shame. I was brought up to pay my bills! I made the credit card companies an agreement that I would pay them back. I know that a $3K debt is no skin off their nose and they can take all unpaid debts off their income taxes, but...it still doesn't feel right.
What else doesn't feel right--even without having to pay credit cards, I still will only have $50.00 left at the end of the month. Now you know--in a few months, with prices going up and up, that will go away and I am going to be short once again. I don't know what I will do then, but.................................it will all be fine.
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Pearl walked down WITH HER WALKER this evening. Finally! I keep telling her to use it, but she is embarrassed. She did say she could walk farther and faster and it didn't hurt her back. YAY.
She went into a long conversation about how she is cutting back, in preparation of Merle to quit work.
"I am going to order my prescriptions mailed to me."
"Oh."
"Yes...that way I won't have to drive up to Wal-Mart to pick them up this winter. I hate driving in the winter!"
"Oh...I've never seen Grand River closed...or even icy. Even last winter. They keep it real clear."
"Yes...but Merle usually drives in the winter, because I don't like it."
"Can't Merle drive this winter?"
"Yes."
"Then why are you ordering your medicine via mail. What if you forget to order and run out of pills? What if the mail lady can't get through and you need your pills?"
"I....don't know."
"I'm just fooling with ya. It's a good thing to do probably---I don't because I am afraid of all the things I just mentioned to you. I sometimes forget to order and glad I can just run up to Wal-Mart and get them the same day."
"Well...I'm going to win that PCH contest on August twenty-eight. Then none of us will have any money worries. Five Thousand a week for life!!!"
"I thought you quit them."
"I am going to---if I don't win this one."
"Are you still buying stuff from them?"
"Sure. You gotta to have a better chance to win."
"Not...................."
"Yeah--I know. You tell me that buying something won't increase my chances, but I don't believe you!"
"Okay...but you gotta quit buying that junk...to cut back on your spending, you know."
"Oh, that reminds me. I ordered a dress and a pant suit. They came and I threw them in the dryer to get the wrinkles out....and they came out wrinkled even worse!"
"A dress? You ordered a dress? Do you ever wear a dress?"
"No, but you just never know."
Then, I told her about the Express Ready Set Go she gave me and she said, "Just take it up to the Salvation Army store."
"But...it doesn't work."
"Well, they'll never know. You can get a tax deduction for it."
"I don't have enough deductions to use."
"You don't?"
"Nope. You have to have a certain amount. With the Standard Deduction being so nice and high for me, I never have any deductions over that to count. Besides...I don't make any taxable income so I don't have to file."
"Oh."
So, after she left, I just threw the dumb non-working miracle machine in the garbage pail!
I think tomorrow I will check the boxes in my shed and see what I've got in there that I can sell on e-bay. I gotta figure out a way to get a little cash-stash here---just in case!
I don't that medications by mail will work well for Pearl because she's not computer literate but for me it works great. You can get 3 months at a time and only pay one copay instead of three which saves money and they send you an email when you need to reorder. I've been doing it for over 10 years and never once had a problem. I do believe you can order by phone and get auto calls when you are low too, but I've never done it.
ReplyDeleteIf you use google maps to put in the address and city of the court house and your house and city you can get map and direction to print out. You can also see photos of the building and surrounding area which is very helpful. I use it all the time.
I hope you're going to be taking someone like Pam with you when you go to court. You might be too upset or teary eyed to drive home safely. Your emotions are going to run from relief to guilt to shame to relief again until you move past this low point in your life. And you WILL move past it!
ReplyDeleteHi, Judy. I used to order my scripts by mail, but now I get them at CVS. 90 day supply. CVS keeps track of everything. They call me if the refill has expired or when it's time to refill. Of course, I keep track too, but I take so many medications, I don't mind having a back-up to double check these things. H says they call of often, if we drop dead one day, CVS will be the first to miss us.
ReplyDeleteJudy, I know this is a very tough time for you. I do believe that it's one of those things that will be better in the long run, one of those nasty things in life that we have to do in order to get to the other side. You've heard that quote, "If you're in hell, keep on walking." I know you have experience with that, and you've weathered many storms. Sometimes we get sick of being strong, though, don't we? :) Thinking of you.
Bankruptcy must be emotionally battering, and it's not even your fault! It's not like your spending habits are like Pearl's. We've all felt shame from trying so hard to make things work out and still they don't. Maybe it's not with money, but that feeling of coming up short is a bitter one. I know you know not to give that feeling a toehold. Best way is to get it off your chest, like you're doing. Know, Judy, that if there was a dollar for every time you've brightened someone's day, you'd be wealthy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone, try to let go of the guilt. There are so many undeserving people who file bankruptcy, and MANY elderly people have to. Times are tough!
ReplyDeletePearl's gonna have a hard time cutting back when Merle stops working.
Oh me too; please don't let this get you down, Judy. I just have one question and I think you did this already, but you did say you changed banks already, right?
ReplyDeleteWish there was something I could do to help you!
xoxo