May 15th

This is kind of a sad day.  Today, my ex-husband is 75 years old.  He looks nothing like this picture, taken back on his birthday in 1962.  He is extremely fat--and bald.  His face is so fat you can hardly see his eyes--just kind of little slits.

Karen is having a party for him this week and I sent her this picture to print out for her Dad.

This is a picture of good times in my life.  Before the drinking.  Before the abuse.  Twenty years before the divorce.  How I wish I could be with "my" family to celebrate his 75th birthday.  How I wish it all were like it was back in those days.

Mark, Pam, baby Karen

We had only been married five years.  Such happy times.  <sigh>

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On another kinda sad kinda--Monday I took Pearl to the Humane Society to get a cat.  She has a 4 year old male cat, but he doesn't like to be cuddled or sit on her lap.  Last fall I took her out hunting, but we didn't find anything she liked.  So--now she is determined--and if you knew Pearl--you know once she gets something in her mind, you just better fall in line and give her what she wants.

She said her hubby wasn't too fond of the idea, so when he was here a couple of weeks ago--helping me with 80# of bird seed, I told him.  ""Hey--if you don't want to go running all over the country looking for a cat--just tell Pearl you don't wanna and suggest I take her."  He smiled and gave me a thumbs up.

So Tuesday, I take her back to where Fred and I got Buddy and Maggie--the county animal control center. They keep animals for a certain number of months, but when the place gets too crowded, they will kill the less adoptable ones.  I have always felt I saved Buddy and Maggie's lives.  

I went to their website and printed out pictures of the kind of cat Pearl wants--so that when we went she would have some to look at and not have to go down every damn row of cages!!!  The place just tears me up and I can't stay in the cat room very long because I get so sad I start crying.  This from a farm girl that grew up never getting attached to any animal because it would soon be gone or run over by a tractor or something.

So we got there and told the workers the ones we wanted to look at.  Pearl wants a female--suppose to get along better then two males who will go around spraying urine all over everything to mark their territory.

She went to look at her first choice and I went down aways to look at her second choice--and I fell in love instantly.  

I put my hand up to the outside of the cage and she came over and rubbed against

it and purred and purred.  So sweet!

Pearl's 1st choice because this cat was born on her birthday.

She went over to Hayden's cage, open the door and stuck her hand inside and the cat nipped at her.  Then she shook her finger at it and it tried to claw her with it's front paw.  Pearl does that with my Maggie--shakes her finger in her face and wonders why Maggie, reaches out with her claws.  I have told Pearl repeatedly that "Maggie thinks you are playing with her--that's why she tries to grab your finger.", but she still does it. So I let her and when Maggie gets her with a claw and Pearl yells, I just say, "Told you so."

So I went up to Hayden's cage and Pearl walked down to Teddi's cage--the cat I have fallen in love with and hope she gets!

Hayden comes up to the cage door and I put my palm up against it and she rubs against me and purrs and purrs.  Meanwhile--Pearl opens up the door to Teddi's "home" reaches in and the cat trys to nip at her.  

So Pearl walks around to every damn cage--opens the door, sticks her hand in and either the cat slaps at her with their paw or tries to nip her.  "Why does every cat in here hate me?"

"Because you startle them.  You open up their cage and stick your hand in and they don't know you.  Just stand in front of them for awhile until they get used to your smell." I said.

So Pearl says, "Let's go home!"

So, I go back to Teddi's cage and put my hand up on the door and she rubs against me and I tell her goodbye and get tears in my eyes.  Then we walk out of the cat room.  Sigh.

Then one of the worker's comes up to me and says, "Didn't you adopt a couple of cats from us?  I remember your husband saying you had to get two cats--one for each lap."

"Yes--it will be two years on June 5th.  I'm surprised you remember."

"I remember," she says, "because I was in love with Capone (Buddy's shelter name) and I cried and cried when he left."

So, I haul out pictures I have of them--which I just happened to print out this morning and take with me just in case someone remembered.  Showed them to her and she just loved seeing how they have changed.

"Oh--look at Capone!  We knew he was going to be a large cat.  Oh--I gotta show these to Glenda, she loved Capone to.  The most relaxed cat we've ever had in here."

So--off she goes with the pictures and I step up to the receptionist desk--who also remembers Buddy and I write out a check for a donation.  The worker comes back, thanks me for bringing in the pictures and inquires after my husband's health and I have to tell her how he passed and how much love the cats have given me,  " Especially Buddy.  He shares my pillow every night-  He lays his little head right next to mine."

Pearl is already in the car, so I go out and get in.  Tears still in my eyes.  "What's the matter with you!?" she snaps.

"Oh--these places tear me up," I reply.  "I hate that they have to live in cages like that and if they aren't adopted, they will be killed."

"Well, with all the stray cats around--they will get more and more! "

"I so would love to go back in there and get Teddi, but....I can't afford another cat nor do I have the room."

"Well if she hadn't bit at me, I dah got her."

"Yes--but she was scared.  Once you get her home and she gets use to you, she would be such a loving cat--she's just so sweet. You'd have a real lap cat like you want.  I can tell by her nature."

"Oh just start the car and turn on the air--I'm hot!"

I bring her home, drop her off and come in and call my kids and they come running to me and I pet them and love on them and.............still can see Teddi's face.  You gotta admit, she is a beauty!

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Update on Dar.  She went Monday for an ultra sound and another mammogram.  They sent her immediately down to the Big Hospital to have a biopsy.  They took out several "slices" from different areas of the mass.  The doctor there told her, "If I thought it was cancer, I'd tell you right now.  That's why they sent you here because we just can't tell.  I can't tell."  So, she should know the results by Thursday or Friday.  

I sure hope it's not cancer because she has no car and although I haven't told her I'd drive her to her treatments, I have thought to myself that I should.  BUT--just found out, she wouldn't get the first six weeks of treatment here--just up a mile to the cancer center, but have to go down to the Big Hospital every day for six weeks.  The Big Hospital--where Freddy died--and a long drive down the expressway.  But--if it comes to that, I will offer to help.  If her sister-in-law can take her a couple times a week and I can take her a couple times a week--I should be able to do it--don't you think?  

Okay--getting my mammogram and chest x-ray later today, then tomorrow, lunch with the gal pals and a visit with my sister on the way home.  I was going to plant my annuals yesterday, as we aren't suppose to get any more frost, but I got waylaid into running all over the county looking for a cat for my neighbor, LOL.

I think I will plant my veggies before the mammogram today.  Or after--or--I just want to get out there and plant something!!!