title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Tuesday, June 30, 2015


That's what I have decided I am.  Feisty!!

It sounds so much better than, "cranky, old woman!"

I think that any of us widows, divorcee's--we women that live alone, or have for awhile, have to be kind of feisty, or we'd be dead by now!  

Sometimes we wake up in the middle of the dark night with a bad nightmare--we gotta get through it all on our own.

We wake up in the morning, with the aches and pains of arthritis and we don't have the option of sitting all day in our chair.  We have to get up, tend to our pets, do the house work, outside work--whatever needs doing.

We have health issues, sometimes scary ones.  Being alone can make them even scarier.  No one with us to reassure us---we push on.  

We have financial issues--really scary.  No one else in the house, sharing expenses.  No one else to tell us, "everything is going to be okay."

Sometimes, in our moments of quiet reflection, we get angry at the way life has treated us.  How come a parent was so critical of us?  When we see others who had wonderful childhoods.

How come our men didn't treat us right?  When we see others being treated (perhaps) way better than they ought to, because they are mean, nasty, bitches.

How come our loves died?  We were so happy together.  How come, when we see long time marriages where the couple can hardly stand each other.

How come?  

It is as it is.

We gotta be a bit feisty or we'd fall right down on the floor and never get up!
I get angry at the way our society has become.  Is my upset and anger going to help me or anyone?


If I harbor unforgiveness from past hurts.  Is that going to make the person I won't forgive feel bad?


When I get to Heaven and the Lord questions me.  He isn't going to ask me about anyone elses life.  He is only going to ask me how I lived MY life.

I think I will say, "Feisty, but with a sense of humor and always a kind, loving smile."

Monday, June 29, 2015

Just Going Along.

I used to be a "go along to get along" kind of woman. 

Never gave my "real" opinion unless it agreed with the person I was speaking with.  Never said "no" to any request, even though I really didn't want to do it.

Differing opinions were not allowed in my childhood home and I found that out early--after a few slaps across the face from Daddy.

Then I married, one week after high school graduation, and soon found out, different opinions weren't allowed in that home either.  Yet more slaps across the face.

One time, I do believe back in 1968, my husband, his sister and her hubs and I were all sitting in our living room discussing George Wallace and his campaign for President.  I voiced my opinion of the man, which differed from the other three and I got yelled down into silence.

Then I married again, to a man who appeared to be very open-minded--until after the wedding.  I was not allowed to watch any TV program that had blacks participating.  This meant basketball, football, baseball, Oprah--nothing.  The TV remote was thrown at the wall, the face slap came next.  

Then, in a garden space that I was told was all mine and I could plant anything in it I wanted--after two days of planting, those plants were torn up because, "they aren't lined up right!"  When I voiced my opinion that I planted them that way to differentiate from the rest of the garden, I got more than a face slap.  

When I, by then realized, White Supremacist husband, started his rhetoric, I learned very soon to be quiet, or I might be chocked, slapped, beaten--whatever.  You learn to be very quiet and pleasant when being held hostage by a terrorist.

Then, of course, at my job, my opinion was rarely asked.  I was the secretary.  I was the peon, who did all the work to keep the office running smoothly, but...that was it.

Then I was fired, because I was too old.  (I was actually told that by the CFO).  Did I sue?  Of course not.  I was scared.  I probably was wrong in my opinion.  He had told me in a weak moment and not testify or say I had imagined his words.

Then, I moved here and was all alone.  Still not voicing any opinion about anything.  

Then I met Fred who not only allowed my opinions on everything to be voiced, but was really interested in hearing what I had to say.  Of course, it was easy because--we agreed on everything and...he thought I had a brilliant mind!

Then, my father died, which gave me even more freedom to voice my feelings and opinions.  Then my step-mother died and no one left to tell me I was stupid in my opinions.  FREE AT LAST.  FREE AT LAST. THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST!

Then, after Fred died, and a couple of months of therapy, where I was told that it was quite all right to give voice to my feelings.  Of course, not in an angry or threatening way to others, but to say what I felt  IF I wanted too.  

So--long ago and for many decades, I was liked by everyone!  I was compliant.  I was submissive.  I just smiled and listened, even though in my head I was saying, "Wait.  What?"

I raised my children to have independent thoughts, to express those thoughts and feelings--at least they knew they could with me, and they all seem to be much healthier, emotionally, then I ever was.  As a result, I now have, Conservatives, Liberals, and whatever 3rd party is running.

I have Catholic, Methodists, Lutherans, Episcopalians and an Agnostic in the family.

I have gay and straight, pro-life, pro-choice and fence setters in my family.

I have gun owners and ones that wouldn't touch a gun, let alone have one in their home.  

If I don't agree with them--it is quite all right.  We voice our opinions and no one gets mad at each other--well, maybe one does, but then again, she isn't quite old enough yet to know everything she THINKS she knows.

There is something so freeing about getting old.  You can be opinionated and voice those differing opinions and people just chalk it up to the fact that, you are senile and cranky.  Just stop and talk to any elderly person.  They've got opinions on everything!  LOL

Plus, I have come to the point in my life where I don't HAVE the NEED to have everyone like me.  I'm not stuck in that place I was for so many years.  I can say "no", once in awhile and not feel too guilty.

Maybe it's because I'm old or maybe---could it be that I'm still the timid, "go along to get along" I used to be, but the people that ridiculed me are all dead or gone from my life?  Makes it easier for sure.

(I still have to work on my Dar skills. :-)  Maybe she will move and make it easier?)  

Sunday, June 28, 2015

No Worries

Hey--check out this blog I just found.  She says, so much better than me, all I tried to say Saturday.

I don't really worry about what is happening in our society today.  I can't do anything about it.  It doesn't even really scare me.  It's just that it is so astoundingly idiotic and weird, that I can't figure out how, supposedly sane people, put up with it.  We are so far removed, morally, from what we were just 20 years ago.  We get more and more isolated.  Only (really) caring about our own little piece of land.  

We don't get together in groups and talk about "meaty" subjects.  We text.  We e-mail.  We rant on social media sites.  Far easier than sitting face-to-face and communicating.  Much easier to send a nasty e-mail, than saying the same to the person's face.  

...and of course, I am the worse offender.  Staying in my wee house, with my thoughts.  

I know, that I know, that I know--it is only going to get worse.   And, I know, that I know, that I know (more than I ever have), that it must be this way, and it will end, and I will be with Jesus in Heaven.  I have wondered over the years, but I can be at peace and happy now, because I KNOW...for sure.
I saw John and Maisey walk by early this morning.  She stopped at the end of my drive, looking up at my porch, but John tugged at her leash to move her along.

Then, Maisey stopped at the edge of my lawn and did her morning business.  I had to laugh.

John cleaned everything up, in his plastic bags and they ambled on.

I waited until he was up the street a ways and then called him on his cell.

"Morning, J.J.  Are you up already?"

"Yes.  Awake, but still in my jammies.  I just wanted to say how pleased I am that Maisey made a "duck" on my lawn.  I feel she blessed me with her presence."

"Oh.  You saw that didja?"

"Yep.  I thought perhaps you'd leave the "duck" at the end of my driveway and pick it up on your way back."

He laughed, a big laugh.

"Why aren't you in church?"  I asked.

"I am."

"You are?  I just saw you walk by so....unless you are having your own private service, I don't think you are in church."

"No--I meant I'm going to eleven o'clock service today."

"Oh...I thought you went early."

"Yeah, I usually go to nine o'clock--the old people's service, but I woke up too late.  Going to the rock 'n roll service today."

By then, Maisey and John were walking back by this way.  Maisey turned to come up my drive again.  John and I still talking on the phone.  I wave, he waves, bends down and gives Maisey a couple of treats and drags her off.

That dog loves me!!!

This is my new cause.  Legalizing polygamy--for women.

I need 5 husbands.  #1 will do all the cooking and cleaning.  #2 will do all the outside work.  #3 will be able to repair any appliance that breaks.  #4 will be a carpenter/plumber/electrician.  #5 will chauffeur me anywhere I want to go, either to Wal-Mart or to Vermont, or the Outer Banks of North Carolina--or, wherever.  

The carpenter will build a home for them all, because they certainly aren't going to live in MY house!  I will just call them whenever I need something done.

I need this to be legal so we can adopt a child together, if we want and so if they die, I will inherit their estate.

If two guys can get married.  Or two girls can get married, or Jacob the Farmer can marry his pet sheep, then I ought to be able to marry 5 men.  It is my right!!!

I gotta work on this flag and then--I will march!!!

I know polygamy is illegal in my State, but so was Same Sex Marriage--we voted it down a couple of years ago.  So--if the SCOTUS can take away our State's Rights and make Same Sex marriage legal, then they should legalize my right to marry 5 men.  There has been a precedent set now.

< am assuming that you realize that this last part is sarcastic, satire.>

It's weird.  Every time I see The Supreme Court of the United States, in initials like SCOTUS, it always makes me see it as scrotum.  Sorry--I need new glasses.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Freedom. Equality. People's Rights.

Our society is all about--freedom, equality and the rights of people.

Except it isn't!  

Not really.

My Manifesto

Where does my neighbor's rights stop when they are infringing on my rights?  My neighbor's have the right to have a big bonfire.  The infringement comes into play when the acrid smoke from that bonfire comes into my house.  How can both people have an equal right?

My neighbor's like to shoot off fire crackers.  Now that Michigan has put on the books that it is quite all right for its citizens to do that, the day before, the day of and the day after a holiday, it is my neighbor's right.  Where does my rights come into play?  Or the rights of the vet down the street?

I am not only offended that my neighbor's do this, when they know full well that loud, sharp noises scare the heck out of me and make my heart race, but what about the Veteran who can and does have a PTSD episode from the noise?

It is a park ordinance of NO FIREWORKS, but no one obeys that ordinance because--"It is the law, so it it my right to shoot them off!"

It is the right of any preacher/priest/rabbi to refuse to officiate at the wedding of any couple (or at least is was a couple of hours ago).  Now with same sex marriage becoming law, will the preacher/priest/rabbi still have that right?  If a same sex couple wants to marry and they know full well that the "God Almighty" church down the street and the minister do not believe in same sex marriage, but this couple wants to make a point--and the minister refuses, will they sue him and the church?  Because it is now THE LAW, will that minister have to subjugate his Christian beliefs to either perform the wedding or go to jail?

Why wasn't the same sex marriage issue put up for a vote by the people?  Majority rules and all that.  Because, the Supreme Court is heavily liberal and now was the time to get it passed.  If the Supreme Court was heavily conservative, it wouldn't have even been on the docket.  So--like I said, to keep it fair and equal, it should have been voted on by ALL the people.

Who ever said a society, with all people being equal, was the way to go?  Marx?  Stalin?  There are the "Haves" and the Have Nots".  We need the Rockfeller's, the Vanderbilt's, the Willy Durant's and perhaps even the Trump's, to build huge corporations to create jobs.  We need executives with the talent, brains and educations to run those corporations.  We need the not so educated to answer the phones and work the assembly lines and we need the sweepers to keep the place clean.

Now "they" want to heavily tax the large businesses, because the rich don't pay their fair share.  Where do they get that notion?  They pay huge amounts of taxes.  It might not be the 33% we pay, or whatever it is now, but they pay huge amounts of money.  So, let's tax them to death so they will move their companies to another country, get cheaper help and take jobs away from our people?  Yeah--that makes a whole lot of sense.  NOT!

School segregation was a big deal.  Now it's found that children, learn more, perform better and have more self confidence if they are segregated--color-wise and gender wise.  Now we have Charter Schools, that can be segregated.    

There are racial, cultural differences.  It's in our DNA.  I could list the differences in the way Asians, whites and blacks think and live, but I won't.  Too long a list, but it has been proven over and over, psychologically and sociologically.  

Why do I live in an area where there are few (and I mean few) Latino, Black, Muslim, Hebrew races?  Doesn't make me a racist, it only means I want to live with people who are like me.  You know, if I could, I'd move back out to the country so I could live with like-minded, simple, down-to-earth farmers?  Does that mean I hate city people?  No, but I don't think like they do.  It is a cultural difference.

Who has the right to tell me what kind of flag I can fly from my front porch or lawn flag pole?

The South lost the Civil War because they didn't have the railroads or the means to get their products to where they could be sold for a good price, not because they didn't have tenacious soldiers. It was the economics of slavery and States Rights that caused the Civil War--not just the issue of slavery.  There were many black farm owners who had slaves.

So--some people in the South want to display the Confederate Battle flag.  So what?  It's not my right nor the government's to tell them they can't.  Doesn't that come under Freedom of Speech?  

Why was a man jailed because someone saw and reported that he had the Swastika flag on his living room wall?  Does this remind anyone of how the Communists work.  Report your neighbor or family member if they aren't toeing the Communist way.

We've got Muslim flags and Gay Pride flags, and that damn University of Michigan flag and do they offend me?  What they stand for might, but No!  Those people have every right to flag any damn flag they want.  It lets me know the houses and people to stay away from.  

I have the right to fly my beautiful Stars and Stripes flag--instead of the Stars and Bars, bless my heart!!

BUT--I do see a trend to re-write history.  The people of Memphis, TN have a lovely park.  In that park is a statue of a Confederate General on his horsey.  Below, the general and his lovely wife are buried.  

A.C. Wharton, the Mayor of Memphis now wants to DIG UP (he uses the nicer term "exhume") this man and wife, who have lain there for some 100+ years and move them to a cemetery and tear down the statue of said general and his horsey.  Why?  Seems the General was also a leader of the KKK.  So what!    
Should we go to Gettsyburg, PA and tear down every mention or statue of every Confederate place of victory at that hallowed place?  Are we to tear out the pages of the history book where it tells of General Sherman's march to the sea and the killing, pillaging and burning of Atlanta?  Perhaps because it might offend the Atlantans?

The Iranian president says the Holocaust never happened.  He has said it so long and so much that now the people in his Country believe it. 

 Much like the book "Animal Farm".  When Napoleon (a pig) the high Commander, kept changing the "commandants" to suit his (and all the other piggies) purpose and told the other people (animals) the lies so long, that they finally believed him.  And of course the SHEEP just followed along and kept repeating the lies until the LIES BECAME THE TRUTH!

Maybe I can run for office and then I can re-write history.  I would demand that pages in the history book that tells of how the USofA dropped two atomic bombs on two cities in Japan.  Cities that were inhabited, not my "enemy" soldiers or commanders or generals, but mostly elderly, and women and children,  Those pages would be torn out.  Maybe after awhile, no one would remember that it happened.  And the lie, that it was necessary to end WWII,  would be forgotten. 

It happened.  It is the truth.  It was payback for Pearl Harbor--where at least military people were--and it made us no better than the enemy.  They killed 2,400 MILITARY personnel.  We killed 80,000 mostly innocents.

You can't re-write history.  It is as it is, or it is as it was.

What about the riots?  A real reason?  Or a reason to vent anger, rob and get free stuff?

We all have the right to PEACEFUL assembly.  Gay people can have a parade if they want.  The Black Panthers can have a parade.  Martin Luther King can have a parade. The KKK can have a parade.  The Neo-Nazi's can have a parade.  The Right To Life can have a parade.  The Pro-Choice can have a parade.  They are allowed to stand on the steps of the Capitol building and talk all the miss-mosh of rhetoric they want.  

No one on the side lines has any right to throw stones at the marchers.  I firmly believe that the militia has every right to stop the rioters.

If they are told to disperse and they don't disperse, then---take the consequences of their actions.  If a policeman yells, "Stop and drop."  Y'all better stop and drop.

Better yet--stay out of those kinds of situations!!

Now the Pope tells me I can't be a Christian and own a gun.  What?

<Proof that Obama IS NOT a Christian because he likes to skeet shoot?>  

Global Warming is real and it is all my fault.  What?  

Global Warming IS real.  It is a very REAL  geological happening.  Warming and ice ages are part of the geological ups and downs of the earths' cycles.  It has happened before and it will happen again.  It happened long before factory and car emissions were ever present.  But the Commander keeps telling the lie and the sheep keep believing it.

Better the Pope or any religious leader tend to matters of God and faith and their denominations' creeds than get involved in politics!

Any day now, I expect the Commander to out-law cars over 10 years old.  I am going to be in deep doo-doo!  

The government is taking over everything!  Without even asking, they are going to take all trans fat from purchased food.  Why?  Because it leads to obesity. 

Wait.  What?

Obesity is caused from eating or drinking too much and not exercising.  Eat smaller portions.  Since when does the government think it can control people's personalities and addictions?  Trans fat makes food taste better--that doesn't mean you have to eat like it's the last meal you are ever going to have.  I eat a candy bar every day.  I eat potato chips every day.  I eat cake and cookies and anything else I want, every day.  I am as skinny as a rail and healthy as a horse. Of course, I don't over-eat any of those tasty things.  It is not my addiction.

Now the government wants to regulate e-cigarettes.  They say because the "second hand vapor" MAY contain bad stuff.  Oh hell no!  They want to get money from the sales--that's what they want.  That vapor contains no bad stuff because there is no bad stuff in the oil that is used in the e-ciggie.  There is a percentage of nicotine in the oil.  There is NO tar.  No carbon monoxide--nothing.  If I blew that vapor in your face, and you had your eyes closed, you wouldn't even know it. 

The Commander says "government control" is all about helping the people.  Us poor souls that don't have a mind of our own and no control over our mindless brains.  And the Sheep just keep following the Commander straight for the edge of the cliff.


What about prayer in schools?  Not to my knowledge was anyone forced to pray in school!  Not to my knowledge was any Jehovah Witness (including my best friend) forced to stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance in school.  It offended some so both  were eliminated.  Although I know a lot of kids who say a quick, silent prayer right before exam time.

You gotta be so careful you don't offend someone else.  People get on this band wagon and they take it to such extremes that it becomes ridiculous.  I have every right to say Merry Christmas and if the person I say it too is Jewish, they have every right to say "and a Happy Hanukkah" and I would smile and say "Yes!"

But oh,  you gotta be so careful not to mention God!  You aren't suppose to say "God bless you", to a clerk in a store--they might me an Atheist.  Would your words offend them?  Perhaps.  If they said, "No thanks. There is no God."  Would that offend you?  Perhaps, but would you shot them or smack them up side their head?  Or just walk away and feel sorry they are so misinformed?
I recently posted on FB that I was going "dark" for awhile.  That meant that I was just not going to post a status or share links.  One of my friends was concerned that I was perhaps deleting my FB account because, I have another friend--a very Liberal friend, that likes to challenge anything I might post that doesn't coincide with her belief system.  

She can and does get nasty in her comments.  I don't know why she does.  We agree on a lot of things, but not religion or politics.  I NEVER post a comment on her status' or her shared links--it is her right to share or say whatever she wants on HER timeline.

If I disagree, she likes to say, WWJD?  

I once said that I thought drug testing before people could get Welfare was a good thing.  She responds with, "WWJD?"  How in this world am I suppose to reply to such a nonsensical question?

Jesus said, "The poor will always be among us."  


Would Jesus own a gun?  Probably not.  He'd leave that up to Peter.  HAH!

Did Jesus hate the rich?  No.  He stayed at the homes of the wealthy.  They fed Him and His disciples and financed His travels.  The women with the "full purse", traveled with them and paid for lodging and food.

Did Jesus hate tax collectors?  No.  He made one His disciple.

Did Jesus hate Gays?  No.  Being a Jew, He would not have condoned their lifestyle, but Jesus said, "Hate the sin, love the sinner."

Remember--Jesus was NOT a Christian.  He was God, who came to earth, in human form, to tell people to abide by the Hebrew Laws, which God set, BUT to also believe in the NEW covenant He was bringing to all people--Jew and Gentile.


How am I suppose to know?  If I quote scripture, she says I have misinterpreted it.  

If I give a political reason, she comments that I have been watching "too much FOX news", which makes me laugh because the only FOX I watch is FOX Sports.

I once replied back that she had been watching Brian Williams too much and...of course, she was incensed that I'd make that statement.

WWJD?  I know one thing for sure, from what I've read, He certainly wasn't for the government to dominate people's lives.

So--when the police come to take away my old car, my potato chips and my e-cigarette, do I "Stop and Drop?"  WWJD?

Anyway, she isn't the reason I decided to go "dark".  I am just sort of sick of all that is going on.  The language some people use.  The links some share.  The overly religious, the overly conservative or liberal, the sometimes really sexual and nasty shared links.   I have a wide variety of people on my Friends list.  The old, the young.  The rude, the crude, the immature, the ones who want to air their dirty laundry--all of it leaves me tired and upset and just plain physically sick at times.

So, I am taking a breather from reading anything on FB.
HERE is MY place--MY very own place where I can post all my thoughts, fears, beliefs and every day nonsense and rarely get a nasty comment.  Blog writers and readers are pretty nice in their comments to each other.  Sure, they will give advice, if asked for.

Basically, and I can't speak for anyone else, but MY blog is all about MY feelings and I surely hope by now, we ALL realize that feelings are neither right nor wrong--they are merely feelings.

WWJD?  Well, He might just have a blog.  He probably would have a huge following.  I'd be one of His readers for sure.  But---ya know, He spoke in parables and probably most of my comments on His blog would be, "I don't get it. Can you explain that in everyday language?"

Friday, June 26, 2015


Well, for one who used to post on her blog everyday---I'm not doing too well and the reason is:

I've had my head stuck up my A...... (Ancestry.com)

I have been spending 4-6 hours a day on that site.  Trying to get everything I can glean before my month's membership runs out and they automatically charge me for six months!!!

I think I am done!  I have gone through 2 reams of printer paper.  2 inkjets and two binders.  I got Dar's done and then her Sister-in-law wondered if I'd do hers.  Both are done, written up real nice, an Excel pedigree chart that I managed to design and photos of ancestors.  They were both thrilled!

The time I am not in front of this F.R.E.D. = Freaking Ridiculous Electronic Device, I have been working to finish the crocheted blanket.  On my last strip now and it is really pretty.  I got it into my head that on a smaller scale, it might make a really gorgeous baby afghan, so I am going to try that--just to see.

Wednesday, I went to my Chiropractor and on the way home, stopped and got my hair cut.  It was getting wild--as proven by my birthday photos.  I couldn't afford to get it cut this month, but Karen gave me $40.00 for my birthday, so I was going to use part of it for my cut.  When my stylist was done, she declared, "No charge.  Happy Birthday!"  YOWSER!!!

Yesterday, I went to the Cardiologist for my 3 month follow-up.  He said I was fine, but that my blood pressure was too low--118/52--that he took me off one of my meds.  YAY!  I had already gone off the Lasix water pill.

Karen stopped in for a few minutes on her way to Howell and lunch with one of her School Pals.  She had spent Wednesday, with another School Pal in Shipshawanna, IN.  looking at quilt shops.  She does like to quilt.

The Lily plants Fred got me over the years, are really lush this year.  In fact, all my plants are taller and fuller than last year.  I think because of all the nice cool temperatures and all the rain we have had this spring.

John invited me out for lunch today and we discussed the way our Country is going nuts!  What with all the flag controversy, and now, perhaps 10 years in prison for flying the Confederate Flag AND, some mayor wants to have the bodies of a Southern General and his wife exhumed from the park where they are buried and placed somewhere else and the Generals' statue taken down.

Lordy, some people get an idea in their head and take it to the maximum extremes!  I do not like the Confederate Flag and the people I know who fly it from their truck, are usually what you'd call Redneck Hillbilly's or White Trash, but this makes me so mad, I'd like to go and find thus flag and put it up on my porch!!!

It seems some people are so intent on taking away every person's rights to freedom of speech.  Now, I hear the Pope says you can't own a gun and be a Christian.  What?  I don't own a gun and I never will and no one in my family does, except my son and his hunting rifle and shotgun, but................?  I liked this Pope as first, but it seems he is getting all Liberal on me and speaking about things that really are not his concern.  I have never liked a religious personage talking politics from the pulpit.

John said, "I wonder what it is going to take to get our country back to the way the Founding Father's perceived it to be?"

I replied, "Not until Jesus comes again...and He better hurry up!"

BTW--John's old neighbor Corky, saw when John dropped me off and just stood and stared.

John says, "Oh. Oh.  He'll be calling me when I get home to see what's going on.  Probably spread it all over the park."

"I said, "I oughta plant a big kiss on you to give him something to talk about!"

...but instead, we just hugged.

Then, I got busy outside and tried to get some of the neglected chores done.  Washed down my porch, water the porch planters and started trimming back my Forsythia bush.

The weather has been so beautiful.  70's and a nice cool breeze, a bit of sun and rain every few days.  MY KIND OF WEATHER!!!

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Hey there. Hi there. Ho there.

I'm here!!!

Another year older and deeper in debt.  HAH

First:  thank you Chrissy.  I see food in my future. :-)

Sunday at Karen's for a cook-out with my favorites:  Hot dogs/hamburgers, potato salad, baked beans, Broccoli salad (you know that kind with nuts, raisins & bacon in it), potato chips and cake.  Let's not forget the cake.  Yellow cake with that made with Crisco and powdered sugar frosting.

My grand daughter from Oregon called me.  I could see her and she could see me on the phone!  Now, that is amazing.  She was in Alaska, hiking in the mountains!

3 more grand babes were there too--Helene, Marcus, Stephen, also Pammie and my Wee Sister and her hubs.  My son wasn't there and I wondered, I was sure he would show up.  I found out yesterday, Karen hadn't even invited him!  What's up with that?  Jennifer was invited, but didn't show.  That didn't surprise me.

When the 3 grandbabes walked in they came for hugs and kisses and a beautiful bouquet of the bluest Hydrangea's.  They apologized for being late as church had run over a bit.  I smiled, thinking to myself, that I was so proud that they all had gone to church!!  They go to church every weekend and sometimes during the week for Mass.

Stephen, Helene, Marcus

My Son-In-Law, Mark holding up a shield because the candles kept going out in the breeze!

Helene, Karen, Mark, Stephen, listening to my sister telling tales

My sister with a rapt audience of Pammie, Helene, Karen

and of course, my alter ego!
Yesterday it was so humid, I didn't go outside all day long.  Wee Sister stopped in after her dentist visit to calm down.  She was so hyper.  Neither one of us likes the dentist and both of us have problems with the Novacaine working to numb the work area.  She had to have 4 shots!!!

Then the storms came in!  There were tornadoes all over the state.  Most of them stayed up in the clouds, but half a dozen touched down.  I don't think it classifies as a tornado unless it does touch down, but the weather people like to inform you when one is going over--which to me is just "wind in the clouds."  I watched as they tracked one on radar that was going straight up the road that my cousin's farm and the church my Grandfather built are on.  I haven't heard yet if all is okay up there.

I stayed up until 2:00 watching my close-up radar on the computer screen.  I have my house pin-pointed exactly and can see what is coming.  As usual, the storm split and part went south and part went north.  Apparently we are in a "basin", lower elevation depression, and that ground configuration keeps the really bad stuff on either side of us.  Kewl Beans--right?

I have tied up the genealogy on my family--finally.  Didn't find the 4 & 5 great grandmother's maiden names, but that is just the way it will be.  I am now doing a search for Dar's sister-in-laws family.  And, would you believe it, for Dar's mother's family.

I can see already why Dar is as she is.  Her mother had a terrible childhood.  In and out of the orphanage, because Dar's grandfather kept leaving the family and her Grandmother had to work as a housekeeper and didn't have enough money to keep a house for the kids (Dar's mom and aunt).

Interesting searching it is.

I am nearing the end of the crocheted blanket I am "testing" for my "Like A Daughter".  It is turning out beautifully.  Not too many mistakes in my stitches.  Although there will be some.

Today the repair guy is coming to put a new drain pump in my dishwasher.  This makes me smile, big time!  The weather is so cool and breezy--no humidity and I have every window and front door open.  Tomorrow, back to the Chiropractor and Thursday the Cardiologist.
So all is well as I begin my 77th year.  OMGOSH!!

How did I get this old and still in one piece?  Well--not exactly all in one piece.  Parts of me have been broken, but it's all inside so no one can see.


Friday, June 19, 2015

Good To Go

My dishwasher won't drain!  I hate that.  Yucky water sitting there in the bottom of it.  Plus, I hate washing dishes by hand.  

The good thing about all of this is.....I have an Appliance Repair Service contract with my DTE electric company that costs me a mere $20.00 a month.  That's $240.00 a year.  I have already had my dryer fixed ($187.00) and the pilot light on my water heater (200.00) and now a new pump for my dishwasher at--$250.00+.  I would say my service calls that cost me $000.00 have already paid for my service plan three times over.  AND--it is such a relief, when something quits working to know, all I have to do is call and it will be fixed.  No sweat.  No stress!
Yesterday, I was sitting in here and this girl, jumped off her skate board and came walking up the front lawn to my garden.  I watched as she bent down to pick one of my Lily blossoms.  I stepped up to the open window and asked, "Do you need something?"

She took of running, jumped on her board and was gone.

I have had this happened before here, with two other young girls that started picking my Tulips and Daffodils.  Why in the world do they think it is quite all right, not only to walk on other people's property, but to pick flowers from other people's gardens?  If she had come to the door and asked, I would have given her some.  

I think I remember saying this to a couple of girls, loooong ago.  Watching out my big picture windows as they broke off stems of Lilacs. I had to smile as I watched them giggle and stick their noses in the bloom to enjoy that heavenly scent.  I cranked the side window open and said, "If you had come to the door and asked, I would have cut some branches for you."  HAH!!!
I got a message late last night.  A friend asking me why I had missed the Old Gals luncheon yesterday afternoon.

No one had told me where we were having it.  I thought they had cancelled it again.

Friend said they had it at my favorite restaurant because that is where I said I wanted it this month.

Hm-mm.  I talked to one of the friends two weeks ago and I did mention that I liked that restaurant and she said she would tell the others.  No one got back to me though, so....................

Who knows?  Maybe that conversation meant they would meet there?  Maybe she forgot to call me back?  Maybe I forgot? I have noticed lately that I am having a bit of trouble remembering.  Which is a scary thing and why I now have to write everything on my calendar.

Ask me about a vacation I took back when I was 10 and I could tell you in great detail.  Ask me what I had for lunch yesterday?  I'd have to think about it quite a while to remember.  

Senility--here I come!!!
The squirrels have chewed the seed ports out of my Triple Silo feeder.  Now, when I pour in the feed, it flows out all the ports!  I think I have found the answer.  This feeder has METAL seed ports!  Let them chomp their little rodent teethies down on those!!!
Maybe this will be a birthday present to myself?
To the Chiropractor's again today.  He did an adjustment on my neck again and a lot of pressure point manipulations on the spot that hurts so bad next to my left shoulder blade. 

I can turn my neck from side to side now.  My shoulder doesn't hurt a bit, there is no pain in my collarbone and not a bit in the upper left of my chest--which was leading me worry about a heart issue.

I go back next Wednesday and then once a week for a while and I HAVE PROMISED MYSELF, once this gets under control, I will go once a month to maintain my cervical C1 and C2 and my lower back also.
I saw Maisey this morning.  Her Daddy is making a big pot of Chili and giving me a sample.  I gave him 3 cans of diced tomatoes and 1 can of tomato sauce I got from the food bank last week.  I didn't tell him I had made Chili last week and already have 8 containers of it in the freezer.  He wanted to do something nice, so.....................
I just finished this book.  A real quick read--kind of like her diary.  I enjoyed it.

Thursday, June 18, 2015


(Just a thought:  Sometimes a house is so big, that it owns you,
 instead of the other way around.)

I have and always will hate this saying!!!!!


"God never gives you more than you can handle."

BALONEY!!!   GOD does not give you anything BAD.  Usually you bring it on yourself, because GOD gives you free will and choice AND HE will NOT step in to stop your stupidness.  God WILL help you handle the bad stuff, however.

"Everything happens for a reason"--BALONEY!  Cancer happens, for a reason?  You get hit by a car and killed, for a reason?  The love of your life dies, for a reason?

For what reason?  Huh?  Explain that one to me.

Don't EVER say these two phrases to ANYONE, who is desperately ill or at a funeral visitation!  I MEAN IT!!!  ===================
My favorite was at Fred's funeral, when someone unknown to me, pressed my hands between hers and said, "I know just how sad you feel.  We had to put our fifteen year old dog down last week.  I haven't stopped crying since."  I have forgotten most of what other said to me that day, but I don't think I will ever forget her words of sympathy to me. HAH.

The simplest thing you can say at a funeral is, "I'm so sorry." and then a hug.  Not, "I'm sorry for your loss," not, "He/she was such a good person," (cause maybe they weren't), not "God will get you through this," just simply, "I'm so sorry."
So--I know it's silly, but my saddest fear is, after the kids move, I will die before I see them again.
Maisey and John stopped by last evening on their walk.  He had her "business" in a tied, white plastic bag that he sat at the end of my driveway.  We sat on the porch and as the sky darkened, it was time to leave.  

He stopped on the top step and said, "Is that a tame duck?"

I wondered what he was talking about.  A duck?  then he pointed toward the bag at the end of the driveway and yes, it did look kind of like a white duck, with it's head sticking up.

"Yes.  My tame duck,"I said.

"Really.  I've never seen it before."

"John...did you really think that was a duck?  That's Maisey's poop bag!"

He looked again and then bent over in laughter.

"I really did!" he said.  "Guess I need to wear my glasses!"

"Oh.  My.  Gosh!  You're losing it, Boy!"

"Don't you dare tell anyone."

"I won't."

(So, I am telling the world...here)

This morning, I hurriedly filled a white plastic bag with cat litter and put it out by my garbage pail. When I saw him and Maisey walking by, headed for home, with another while plastic bag in his hand, I stuck my head out the front door and started quacking!  HAH


Chiropractor yesterday afternoon.  Headache gone.  Shoulder pain, gone.  Neck pain, almost gone.  I go back on Friday.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

I'm Sad

Jennifer and Eric's house is for sale.

I remember how excited they were to find this property.  It was located in an orchard.  They cleared the land.  Eric had drawn up the plans when he was younger--it was/is his dream house.

I can remember how excited our whole family was when they moved from Salem, MA back "home".  Their oldest was just a baby.  

They built it the same time I moved in here.  A couple of years ago, they added a formal living room and family room, and added on to the kitchen, on the left.

It is a magnificent home with a wonderful view of a small lake out the back.  A huge concrete deck on the back. 

5 or 6 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms.  Beautiful.

They are starting a new life adventure.  At only 43.5 years of age, now is the time.

They will be moving to New Jersey and Eric will take over his father's Orthotics businesses.  Eric is very good at that--making artificial limbs and those running legs that the athletes use.  Jennifer will be able to do pro-bono work--she loves that and also help companies set up non-profits organizations, she is the expert in Michigan on that.

Eric wanted to start his own business here, but...the company he worked for had a two year non-compete clause, so he would have to wait that long and...well, that's kind of impossible.  DAMMIT!!!

I just hope my four Grand Babes can adjust well.  It is going to be a much different life than they've had here.  

My oldest daughter Pam is really going to have a difficult time adjusting.  She is very attached to the little guy.  

Our whole family is sad, but---what can you do.  Jen and Eric are doing what they think is best, overall, for their family.  I can't fault them for that, even though I cry about it most everyday.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Moaning on Monday

I know--anyone with severe arthritis, or fibromyalgia or any kind of auto-immune disease that causes pain in the joints and bones/muscles, know what it is like--the pain that is, and how we try to live with it.

My neck and shoulder had been feeling pretty good.  Then I decided to sleep on a different pillow and to tote in heavy groceries using my left hand.

For the past week, the continual pain coming out of neck, into my left shoulder and down into my left wing bone is so severe, it makes me nauseous.  I have tried everything--my hot rice sock, my ice pack, my horse liniment, my OTC pain pills.  Everything helps--for a couple of hours--that's it.

Anything I do, hurts.  Sitting here typing on the keyboard.  Sitting in my recliner crocheting.  Driving the car.  Doing laundry.  Making the bed.  Strangely, the only relief I get is when I lay down at night with my head on the contour pillow.  The one that has a place cut out for my neck and my head lays in a lower circle.  

It takes me down physically and emotionally. I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone, do anything!

I called to make an appointment with my chiropractor--I go in Wednesday afternoon.  I know he can help.  Help, not cure the problem.  There is no cure of stenosis of the C1,2 & 3.  Oh, I'm sure there is some sort of neck surgery they could do, but that is not going to help it.  Shots of Cortisone might help--for awhile, but I'm not that courageous at this time.  Besides, for that, I would need someone to drive me to the pain clinic and then drive me back home.
Today, my dishwasher doesn't want to drain.  Lovely, just lovely.  I have had this repair done three years ago at a cost of $200.00.  Thankfully, I now have the Appliance Repair Plan through my electric company, which will take care of all of it.  So far, just this year, I have had about $600.00 of repairs and my plan costs $29.99 a month.  I would say, it has already paid for itself.
It is easy for me to be assertive with John because, I do it in a light-hearted, joking manner.  He takes no offense.  If I did that with Dar, she would be very angry and never speak to me again.  I don't want that from her---I just don't need her coming over here every day and staying for hours.  Today, I have my front door locked and if she comes over, which she probably will around 7:00, I will either not answer, or I will slowly walk to the door and tell her that I am not feeling up to company--which is the truth.

Now, John talks way too much and too long.  Much like Dar, BUT his conversations are always funny and if I want to say something and he starts talking I just say, "Now...it's my turn." and he shuts up, at least momentarily.  He isn't a boaster and his conversations aren't always all about him.  BUT--that isn't to say in the mood I am now, I could take an hour spent with him either.  

I know that he is very depressed and very lonely.  He is used to living in town and walking everywhere he wants to go.  He has his group of church friends that he has lunch or coffee with three times a week.  He is very social, unlike me.  He now calls me "Hermie", because I told him I was a hermit.

When his dog Maisey dies, he is going to move back to Brighton into the Millpond Apartments, which are government subsidized and your rent is based on your income.  The last place on this earth where I'd want to live.  I need windows on all sides of my abode.  I need quiet and not having to put up with people on all sides and below or above me.  I lived in a townhouse once, for a year, with windows only on two sides, and it drove me crazy!!!

Okay--I'm off here.  It is so hot and humid outside that I am staying in--at least until the weather breaks or Wednesday.  Whichever comes first!!
6:30 pm
I saw her coming.  I ran into my living room, sat and flipped my recliner back and waited.

I heard her knock and then try to open the locked door.  

I lay there with my eyes closed--peeked a bit.

Then she walked off the porch and around to look in my living room window!!

Back to the porch and tried the door again.

I got up, walked to the door unlocked it and she said, "Can I come in for awhile.  I won't stay long."

"Oh...I just don't feel well...I was napping."

"I'll just be a minute...I want to tell you something."

"I don't feel well enough, Dar."

"Okay.  Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes.  Please."
Subterfuge?  Yes.  But it worked and I'm glad because I just could not handle her today!