title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Wednesday, October 18, 2017


Me--at the Food Bank  Look at this Rib Eye steak!  It's almost as thick as a roast.  Look at the original price.  My Gosh.  Are there really people in this world that could afford to buy that?  I think I will cut in half and grill only half at a time.

Supper for two nights.  Corn and baked potato and Rib Eye.  YOWZA!!
I had to re-certify today and luckily my income is still below the cut-off of $1,200.00 for one person.
Dar was over last night.  She always drops in around 6:30 and stays until 7:45.  That way, she catches me as I am finishing up supper and allows me to miss the national news, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.  She cares for none of these shows, but she makes sure she gets home in time to watch The Voice.

Anyway--she had been for her first session with the shrink they found for her.  He is well known, but she won't put up with any of his guff!  He asked her, "Well, how do you think I can help you?"

She took offense and though he meant, "How do you think I can help you when no one else has."

So right away, she felt he was just going to blow her off and send her on her way with a few words.

Then, he was sitting on a wheeled, stool, like the doctor's have and he rolled closer to her chair, Until he was about 8 feet away.  "What is the outcome you'd like to see come out of our sessions?"

"You're the doctor..you tell me!"

He rolled a couple of feet closer and she put her hand up and said, "If you don't move back behind your desk, I'm leaving!"

Can't you just see this poor guy, scurrying back to sit behind his desk?

Then she said, "After he got back behind the desk, I stood up so that I would have the dominant position and walked around, while we talked."

I guess one of the things he told her was that she "probably" won't ever be able to go back to her cashier job.

I said, "I told you that six months ago.  Sheila told you that last month."

"Judy--can't you say anything nice.  Encouraging?"

"Sure.  I encourage you to start dealing with reality and acceptance.  You'll feel less depressed when you make up your mind this may be as good as you get, pain wise, and do what you can.  You can still walk for miles.  You can still drive, where ever you want.  You're life isn't over."

Then she grabbed the top of her head.  "Oh--the horrible pains I get....in my head....They can't find anything wrong, but I get such a pain."

I said, "I can tell you what that is from."

"You can?"

"After I lost my promotion, for three months, every time my therapist or anyone asked me about it and I had to recount it, I got terrible pains in the top of my head and my blood pressure went very high.  It is part of PTSD.  It's as if the incident just happened and you physically react and feel all the emotions you did then."

"They do say I have PTSD."

"Well, that is one symptom I had.  I know.  It is very painful."

She started feeling a bit better.  I sure try, but I can't help her too much.  Even when I can identify with her on panic attacks, and fears, and night terrors and everything I had gone through that she is going through--it doesn't matter to her.  Since she is one of those "it's all about me" people, she thinks that whatever she has or suffers is unique to her and no one else could have ever felt like her.  

I say something to her about how I went through the same thing and she'll say, "Yes, but, with me........"  Her "condition" is always worse.

Enuff of Dar---at least now, when she leaves, I don't struggle the rest of the night, thinking and worrying and trying to figure out how to help.  She goes out the door and I forget about it--which is a self protective mechanism on my part.
Today has been another lovely day, weather-wise and will have right through the weekend.  Next week predicted rain and cooler temps and, no doubt, our first frost.
Hey--did any of you see this?

Michigan State basketball unanimous pick to win Big Ten title

Oh, it's going to be a wonderful winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. Well, ol girl, we've known for a long that Dar is a narcissist, bless her heart. :)

    You made out really good at the bank; so happy for you! Enjoy every bite.


  2. You scored my favorite dinner. I do buy those rib-eyes and cut them in half, freezing half.

    1. The Sweet Corn was a little old and a bit touch, but it went well with the baked potato. I could only eat half of the half of the steak. LOL So I'll have it for lunch tomorrow and freeze the other half for a later time.

  3. I make ribeye sandwiches with the leftovers. I make a little horseradish sauce to go with: horseradish, mayo and a touch of mustard. I slather it on the bread, slice the steak very thin, and layer it on the bread. Delicious.

    Dar is Dar.

    1. I love Horseradish sauce!! I'm just going to gnaw on this left-over, cold, for lunch. I like it cold for some reason.

  4. My Oh My, you REALLY SCORED BIG. Good for you and enjoy your treats. I have a sister like Dar and I've learned to do the same thing. Offer good advice (which I know she'll never take) and call it a day. They do what they want, and it seems if they are not the center of attention they get upset. I can't figure it out and quite frankly I've stopped trying. Enjoy your day!

    1. I just have to realize that when Dar visits, her purpose is to come in and vent and then leave. She never asks how I'm doing, she doesn't want to make conversation--just spill all her feelings out, then go on home. Sad. It would be nice if I had a near-by friend that I could have a two-way conversation with.

    2. Terry's mother, the textbook narcissist in our family, was just moved to an assisted living home. It will be interesting to see how the other occupants deal with her and her interest ONLY in herself. Most people like to tell stories about themselves. She won't listen to anyone else's story.

  5. I often buy thick bone-in ribeye steaks at Whole Foods and treat them as a roast. I roast them at 350 degrees, marinating with red wine every 20 minutes for about an hour, maybe less, depending. We have roast one night, roast beef sandwiches another, and I use the final bit for tacos or burritos. It makes a week's worth of meals for us.

    As an aside, I find that meat that has been frozen to not be nearly as good as it is fresh from the butcher. I would cook it all up at once and then use it for a variety of meals during the week.

  6. Yes but will the Chicago Cubs play in the World Series again this year? Barring an authentic baseball miracle, I doubt it. *sad* xoxo

  7. I wondered if you like beef/veg soup? I know the ribeye is very tender, but after grilling half for a nice sized steak---soup or stew would make several servings. (Just a thought!)

    Glad you don't feel responsible for figuring Dar's life...which only she can, and perhaps, a professional. I don't know a therapist who would keep seeing this "dominating" patient! ;) I don't miss Jeopardy--so she'd either quietly watch with me, or go home early! Hubby and I take our Jeopardy seriously---although the questions are much harder---or we're regressing!

  8. Wisdom!!!!

    You have learned how to deal with Dar!

    Let her have her "moan and groan" time.

    Then forget about her, when she leaves.

    Self preservation. Wisdom. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!

    But, I still have an issue, with her timing. Do as Bluebird49 says. Keep watching your show. turn the volume way up, if needed. Keep watching.

    Or, simply tell her to come over, at another time.