I hadn't heard a word from any family members since Christmas. Had I tried to call any of them? Of course not! They all are so busy and have different schedules and by the time I'd think to call, it was too late at night.
Pammie and I had a nice laughing conversation for 53 minutes. I hung up the phone and it was a call from Karen. We talked for about 35 minutes and then, Karen came over to bring Christmas gifts Jennifer had sent to her house.
Nice gifts from Jennifer, but my favorites included in the shipping box? Thank you notes from the 4 grand kids. I miss Jennifer's oldest boy Andrew, so much I ache.
I moved down here, just as they were moving here from Massachusetts. Andrew was 9 months old at the time. I took care of him a lot while Jen and her hubs were working and watching over the home construction. He was the smartest kid I had ever met. Even at three, he would ask the most profound questions and it got so we'd have some really deep conversations--every time I saw him. Then last year, they moved to New Jersey.
In Andrew's thank you note, he said he was saving his money for his car. CAR? Oh. Yes. I forgot. He's 15 1/2 now. The last time I saw him, on his 13th birthday, he was almost as tall as me. I would guess, he's probably taller now.
Those kids aren't on Face Book and don't have e-mail accounts so I really can't communicate with them except by normal mail.
When there is family news of any kind or photos taken, my girls and sister and grand kids all text each other. I don't have a cell phone and they forget to e-mail me the info.
So--did the notes and the gifts and the phone calls make me feel better? Momentarily, but in the long run, it just makes me realize how I am "out on the fringe" of their lives.
I remember all the things we used to do together and, oh, how I wish I could go back and do it all over again!
=====================
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| Helene & me at the Saginaw Zoo--1997 |
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Planting Daffodils with Helene & Stephen and every X-country track meet she was in  
Planting Daffodils with Marcus and a weekend at Grammas
and going to every baseball, track meet he was in.
Stephen-a weekend at Gramma's and every baseball game he played.
  
Madeleine--a weekend at Grammas and Putt Putt golf and every piano recital, band concert
and ballet she's performed in.
==============================
Andrew--
  
13th Birthday supper
Elise
  
Alex
Maddie, Andrew, Elise, Baby Alex--Detroit Zoo
8th Birthday Supper
Evan
   
Sigh
|
How your heart must ache. What a beautiful pictorial history of love and devotion! I haven't had your experience, not being a grandma or even a mother, so take my suggestion with its grain of salt. Can you send cards "I miss you and I love you tons" to each of your grandkids? If sending out love is even a quarter as good as receiving it, at least you get to feel that quarter. (hug)
ReplyDeleteSince I got a phone with texting, I hear from my nieces and nephew far more often than I ever did before. And they send photos,too. It's just the way younger people like to communicate and I actually understand why. It's really less time consuming than talking on the phone or emailing and you can multitask while texting. My Jitterbug only costs around $25 a month and well worth it for more than just texting. Though without WiFi in the house it could cost more if you use apps.
ReplyDeleteFeeling out of the loop does hurt, I'm sorry you're going though it now.
I have a sister-in-law who was always out of the loop. She didn't have a smart phone and didn't text. I told her the problem was her's to fix because the family had moved on without her. She doesn't have email so that was out. She insisted she preferred phone calls but the family hated that because she was always putting us on hold to answer an incoming call. Finally her family got her a refurbished iPad and the building where she lives has Wi-Fi. She swore she could not text. I started sending her photos and walking her through the process of opening them. She liked that and soon was sending me short texts in response. She still doesn't know how to send me photos but at least she can
ReplyDeleteI can see how you got "down in the dumps" yesterday, with all the arthritis pain. Is it any better today?
ReplyDeleteVery glad you got those calls and etc.
I understand about being "on the fringe." 2 of our children, live in this city. One and family, right next door. Do they call or come over? No. -chuckle-
So distance is not necessary, for these things to happen, or to not happen.
I can not hear well, and I know this contributes to it. So I should get a new hearing aide? If it doesn't work out, any better than the old one did, what have I accomplished? Just spending money. and I still won't hear them.
All of them, are BUSY. I actually think that our duty, in our "Olden Years," is to keep as healthy as possible, and not be a burden. (Think you are the only one, who can be grumpy???? Hahhhh...)
And then, one can read blogs, about people who are still involved in their chidren/grands/great grands lives. Yeah... I don't read them anymore. LOL
Geeee, aren't we sweet????????????? >,-)
Luna Crone
Ah! This blog made me feel good about moving back here for a while. Once the kids start having their own lives, we are removed to the fringes.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jean about getting a Jitterbug. (and I'm sure you have wifi at home) A condo neighbor was having issues with HER daughter and was unable to phone them and wasn't invited over for big events or given the sports schedules. I suggested she just text both grands (teens) once a week or so .. bypass the Mom. Also the kids knew it was not Grandma who was ignoring them. It seems to be working!
Wait until you reach 80
ReplyDeleteit gets worse :(
Just shoot me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteAs far as I know, I do not have WIFI in my house. so I'd have to buy that through the cable company and then a phone with a monthly fee. I've heard of kids doing that for their parents--buy them a smart phone and paying the monthly bill--a family plan sort of thing. Hm-mm.
ReplyDeleteYour neighborhood likely has a cell tower for cell phones. Nice thing is, texting uses cell towers, not wifi, so there is no additional wifi apparatus you'd need to get in your house. So, yes, great idea - one of your family members adding you to their plan as a gift. It's not very expensive. I myself piggyback on my brother's plan, and he's in another state!
DeleteCan you email Madeline or anyone who may have the New Jersey grandkids contact info? I'm also wondering if they really do have Facebook accounts and just don't tell their parents - that is a big thing now. The kids use a different name or no last name etc. You may want to check it out.
ReplyDeleteI wish they could know the special person they are missing out on. I miss my grandma still. Thinking of you today!
It's all okay--I am just in a sentimental mood and feeling sad that I am getting old and they are all growing up and away. Which is how life is and should be.
Deletei really enjoyed all of your family pictures, fun times!!! they are loosing out, but i understand how it impacts you. try to keep busy judy, i find that really helps!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful family, Judy. I know it's hard sometimes. I didn't have a cell phone for the longest time, but as soon as I got one, the kids started texting me, especially my DIL and nieces. Young people really like texting. It's fast and they can fit it into their busy lives. I have to say, I'm glad to have access to it. They send pictures, too.
ReplyDeleteI'm like you in that I always forget to call until too late! So silly. But then, I'm not big on talking on the phone. I love all the "birthday supper" photos! And grandkids who write thank you notes? As President Trump would say: That's YUGE!!! xoxo
ReplyDelete