Today's high temperature was: 21 degrees
Sunshiny, but a cold wind.
a nice soft snow tonight.
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Yes--it is cold outside and I should know--I had to go out today! I never wear a hat or gloves, so I guess I have only myself to blame.
I have so much going on that I can't keep my mind on what needs to be done first. I have my Christmas cards all ready to mail, but will wait until Saturday. My reason? I don't want Jennifer to get the mail. Pammie will be watching the kids, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, so she will be there when the little kid's cards arrive. That way, I know they will see them and they won't get thrown in the garbage. Who knows--I am just paranoid enough to think that could happen if their mother saw them.
...and--I was not satisfied with the last two batches of spaghetti sauce I made for the boys, so I am unfreezing it and cooking it some more. It just seemed too thin and I want a nice thick sauce. The first batch was fine. I will do that tomorrow.
I need to get my card table set up and start wrapping gifts so I know what I have. Not much, that is for sure, but I need to get organized in that department. Do you think I should still give Jen and Eric their gifts--even though I will have to send them through Pammie? I sent Jennifer's birthday gift over with Pammie and I didn't get it back, so........ I am of the mind to just go on normally--even though they won't be with the rest of the family on Christmas Eve. Such a terrible thing to have going on this time of year!!!
Thank you, those of you who ordered my children's book. I mailed them out today.
I had a major problem with my e-mails. I couldn't get them! If I went on my server, Comcast, I could pick them up that way, but the server wouldn't send them to my Outlook Express--which I was told was very old and I should get a new e-mail thingie. I worked on this dang problem for five days--looking through all the configurations. Finally this morning, I got on live chat with a Comcast rep. and she synced me back up again in ab out 15 minutes. Why didn't I contact her sooner? GEEZ!!
Microsoft is doing away with Windows XP in April. No more support or updates. I have Windows XP- I like Windows XP--I don't want Windows 8, or for that matter 7 or 6. Besides that, I can't afford to buy it. What to do. What to do?
It's worries like this that drive me stark staring crazy. So many worries and "what ifs". What if the refrigerator quits working--it is making a funny noise. What if the car needs a repair. What if one of the cat's gets sick? What if I get sick? The little bit of money I had in my savings account, set aside for an emergency, is just about gone. I cannot believe it costs me over $250.00 a month for groceries--that is $250.00 more a month then I receive. I have checked my budget over and over and there is just no way to come out even, let alone ahead each month.
I don't know what to do. It all just gets to me and I feel shaky and scary most of the time--especially when I go to bed and allow myself to think about it. I think in the spring I will try and sign up for food assistance with Social Services. What an embarrassment! Perhaps I need to declare bankruptcy? Another embarrassment.
God always provides. He has so far and I guess I need to truly believe and trust in that. But, sometimes, it is just so scary.
Well--forget all that. I just feel weak and shaky and weepy today. I will be better tomorrow, I promise. I so hate to be so negative all the time--I hate it!!
If you need help through Social Services there's no shame in signing up for a food assistance program. You've certainly spent a lot of years paying into the system from what I gathered from reading your blog. No one wants to see a person in our age bracket worried about food.
ReplyDeleteI had the same qualms with leaving Windows XP when my computer went belly up. But it didn't take me long to get used to and love Windows 7. I was told that XP was too easy to hack and no amount of upgrades could fix that and it isn't easy to synchronize them with all the handheld devices like everyone wants to do today.
I can't believe you live in Michigan and never wear a hat and gloves. You should have seen me out shoveling snow today. I had on a heavy knit hat with a heavy knit scarf wrapped around my face so only my eyes showed. I had ski gloves and socks on plus boots two shirts and sweats. And of course a coat. LOL
Wish I knew what to tell you about Eric and Jen's gifts. But NEXT year if you're still this worried about finances you might want to seriously think about cutting back on all gift giving....especially the adults on your list. They will understand if you can no long afford to do it. Just tell them ahead of time what you won't be giving Christmas gifts to anyone over ____ years old. Lots of families do that now or start drawing names for the adults because it gets a bit much for everyone, not just those of us on pensions.
It will all work out, Judy. Try not to make yourself sick worrying so much.
I do that now, Jean--the Christmas gifts. I made pot scrubbers out of nylon net--each daughter gets two and the older grand daughters that have their own apartments. The boys get two quarts of spaghetti sauce. The little kids only get small things--because I spend more on them for their birthdays. I probably only spend around $300.00 and that is mostly for the sauce and the little kids things. They all have told me not to buy them anything, so I don't, but I still make them things. As long as I am alive and able--everyone will get something!!!.
Delete...and this year, each family will get one of my books, :-)
DeleteThey are really going to treasure that book! And, of course, anything handmade is always appreciated. One year when some of the people in my family was having financial problems we set a spending limit of $1.50 per person. We could make something or write something so long as we didn't spend over the limit. It was our most memorial and fun Christmas party. We had a lot of poems and special memories written down and given with photos that year. It was great seeing how creative everyone was.
DeleteI would be in the same quandry about whether or not to send the gifts along to your daughter. Just do not know what to say. Listen to your intuition, it will speak loudly to you, if you listen carefully.
ReplyDeleteFood stamps, fuel assistance, etc, are there for someone in just your position. I know many, you are among them, that are most certainly deserving and there is nothing to be ashamed about. There are many, many private organizations that help, too. My company sponsors one such foundation and I am very busy this week finishing up the plans for our holiday fund raiser. We work through United Way.
Also, there are free phone services and many other ways to help recoup that food money.
I've really cut back on Christmas this year, and when I am no longer working, there will be handwritten memories as gifts.
Sending you wishes for peace of mind!!
Going out into our first wintery morning....with hat, gloves, boots, etc. My walk in to work is too cold without my gear.
I hope you're feeling better today, Judy. Don't be embarraased for doing what you have to do to survive in this terrible economy. You're certainly not alone!!!
ReplyDeleteOh and definitely give those presents to your daughter. Keep taking the high road like you've been doing!
ReplyDeleteAgree - keep doing what you need to do, as far as gifts or otherwise. Trust in God to provide what you need.
ReplyDeleteYou know the whole Lord's prayer - it doesn't say give me all I need for 6 months - it says give us this day our Daily bread - what we need today for today. That way we keep turning to Him to meet our needs. And he does.
I know it is so hard. I remember those days and still live like I'm in them - I think it's a frugal thing to do! And we found out we're getting a furnace and water heater for Christmas - the kids are thrilled :-) Life keeps happening whether we are ready or not.
Breathe in AND out. I so wish I lived closer! A big hug to you!
Sending you hugs this morning..Judy...that public assistance is there for people in your situation. Please don't feel to proud to take it.
ReplyDeleteI love the fact that you are making things for your family. They will remember your gifts long after the other things are broken or tossed aside. Your time and especially your love goes into each gift.
Balisha