title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Strange and Weird

Today's high temperature was: 38 balmy degrees
A bit of sun, now and then
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Last night, there was weather prediction of a bit of freezing mist this morning--but it did not happen--of which I am glad.  Today was the School Gal Pals Christmas luncheon.  Bethie wanted some more apples from Susan, so she and I met up at The Farm, and then rode together to the luncheon.

It was nice for Beth to see all of Susan's decorating.  Susan's first year decorating her new space.  Susan has three trees (doesn't everyone?)--each a different style, one in her new family room--all pink, gold, silver and crystal.  One in the living room--teddy bears are the theme and home made ornaments, and then one in her bedroom--a memory tree with ornaments made by her two boys.  Plus she has a nice Santa collection, little Hallmark wooden houses, crystal trees and angels==on and on.  She is only 61, so she will continue to decorate like this until she gets near our age and figures it is a bit too much work :-)

Before Beth got there, Susan showed me a picture that she has on her refrigerator--"for everyone to see!", she said.  It is a picture of our mother and father.  Susan said, "Finally, after all these years, we can now put out pictures of our REAL Mother and our Dad."  (No step mother around to pretend the first marriage didn't exist.)


Susan said that my son Mark, who lives on the farm just 1/8 mile north of her, was down the other day and brought Susan a real, evergreen wreath for her front door.  She showed him the picture and said, "Do you know who that lady is?"  Mark said, "Yes--my real grandma."

Now my son Mark acts all tough and grumpy to everyone.  He's really pro-gun and inherited all my Dad's hunting guns and a couple from his other grandpa.  Mark says things like, "Just let them set foot on my land and I'll blow their head off"--things like that, but I know this kid.  He was very close to my Mother and when she died, at age 53, Mark was 14 and it affected him in a really bad way.  He would no longer go to church--just the year before, he proclaimed he was going to be a minister.  

So anyway--Susan made him a copy of the picture.  Mark was outside talking to a couple of older guys he knows who were hunting on Susan's farm.  She took the picture out and handed it to him.  She went back inside and peeked through the window.  Mark turned the picture to the guys and said, "Do you know who this woman is?"  and the guys said, "Yeah.  Charlie's first wife, your grandma."  and Mark said, "My REAL grandma."  His girlfriend Cindy called Susan later and told her Mark showed her the picture and had tears in his eyes.  My son--the real tough one--yeah, sure!
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Okay--now for the lunch.  Bethie was a little late to pick me up and told Susan and I that she was upset because she made loaves of different sweet breads for the gals and she had left two loaves of banana-nut bread in the freezer at home.  So we ride over to the really, scruffy restaurant where the lunch was going to be.  We normally don't exchange Christmas gifts, but I had made Scrubbies for the gals and Beth had the loaves of bread.  Each gal could pick out the kind she wanted.

After lunch, we did our gift thingie.  One of the gals there is not really part of our group--she is a sister to one of the gals and she took TWO loaves of bread.  Didn't ask, "if you have any left over, I'd like another loaf," none of that, just said she wanted TWO.  

Then, I got my children's book out, in case anyone wanted one.  Bethie got 5 of them and another gal got one.  So I passed one around for them to look at.  The gal on the end of the table, practically read the entire book and then passed it one to the next gal, who did buy it.  Then another gal asked, "How much is it?" and I told her "seven dollars" and she said, "well, I guess I better get one."  Then the next gal, sitting next to me didn't want one.  Now--this is all well and good, but it ticked me off!!

It's not that you need the book or even have a grandchild to give the book to--to my way of thinking, this is a book that one of your friends managed to get published and printed and you ought to buy one damn book just because she is your friend!!! and you can afford seven bucks and you know she is living in poverty and...and...and.

Petty?  Who me?  Yes I am!!!

Above all, these lunches are becoming tiresome to me.  More of a duty then a "want to."  I think I know why.  To begin with, Beth and I, Sally, Arlene and Judy were always at the lunches.  We are the group who sort of did most things together in high school.  I have hardly anything in common with Ruth, Marlene, June--didn't in high school, don't now.  Well--Sally is in Arizona and Arlene and Judy are dead--all I have is Beth.  We usually have to sit at a long table and, being hard of hearing, I can't hear what the girls at the other end of the table are talking about.  Ruth rarely says one word!

We used to have some great discussions, but now, if something even the least profound is brought up,.you get the "I never heard of that," even though it's been all over the news programs.  In the last six months, I have started to feel invisible.  Today I was asked a question and I proceeded to answer it, within a few words, you could see their eyes start to glaze over and they just turned their heads and started talking to each other.  I just stopped talking in mid-sentence and no one even noticed.  I think if I go next month, I am going to not say a word and see if anyone notices.  

It just isn't fun anymore or even worth the time and the gas money.  Perhaps once every quarter would be enough--maybe then, we'd have something to talk about?  The last exciting thing was when our one friend Liz got remarried--we were all happy for her--even when we found out the groom was her first cousin!!!  Now, we had a lively conversation that day!!

Anyway--Beth and I got back in her car to start home and we got to pissing and moaning and getting more ticked off at greedy people and "why don't people act like they are suppose to!!" and saying as how we are getting old, petty and crotchety!  Then we filled the car with some blue words and got to laughing and acting crazy--just like in the old days.  The best time I had this whole day was on the ride over to and the ride home from, with Bethie.  AND she gave me some cat food!!!!  The best gift ever!

By the way, I added cows and the first few rows of corn to the farm tonight--the cows are pitiful.  They either look like a blob or sheep!!  

I did get a half-way decent fence on the other side to keep the cows out of the corn field, LOL   That front cow looks like a cat sitting on the fence.  Oh Lordy!!!


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7 comments:

  1. I just love the photo of your parents, and the ensuing story about Mark's reaction. 14 is a very vulnerable age to lose someone so special and close, so I am happy Susan's kindness was able to soften the wall he built around his emotions.
    The evolution of groups seems to be what is playing out with your school pals. I'd be tempted to ask Bethie if she would just like to meet alone. What a great idea to give you the cat food....I am sure Buddy and Maggie will be very grateful!

    Still sitting here amazed at your cross stitch ingenuity, and how much you've accomplished already. LOL at the cat on the fence. I didn't see it, but the artist eye is always more critical.
    Have a great day....warmish here this morning.

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  2. Your cross stitch looks great!! You are so creative! I think the cows look fantastic, you are overthinking it.

    Your Mark sound like my Jeremy a bit, tough guy exterior, but a real softie inside.

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  3. We finally got ice that canceled a lot of events on this side of the state.

    Large groups of people who all have some degree of hearing loss whether they admit it or not are really hard to have good conversations with. I found that out recently when I got my first ever hearing aids.You miss so much and don't even know it! It's sad you no longer enjoy going to something that you've been doing for so many years. But maybe the ride back and forth with Beth makes going still worth the effort?

    I know how it hurt not to have a life-long friend buy a copy of your book. It's happened to me, too---with a friend I've known since I was five. She has not read either of my books. Yet we talk back and forth a lot in emails. One could say I should have given her a copy since she's a good friend but she is extremely well off---the kind who has lavish dinner parties every month so why should I? I had also given a copy of my 'dog' book to a very poor relative who was excited when I told her I was writing my dogs' memoir. Over a month later I asked her how she liked it and she said she hadn't read it yet. Guess as writers we have to develop thicker skin and not allow these things to bother us.

    Your cross-stitch is coming along great!

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  4. I'm simply amazed as you progress on the cross stitch! Very, very nice!

    So nice of your sister to give a copy of the photo to your son. Sounds like
    a great thing to do especially at Christmas.

    I stopped going to the monthly lunches of classmates; one because they have
    it on the opposite end from where I live, and two because of a betrayal of a classmate. I know that sounds petty and childish but in actuality I am embarrassed
    to return. :(

    xoxo

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  5. I DO know how you feel about the book. It is rather the same around here, with the exception of it being family who don't look into the things I make - or ask for a specific item I could make. No they go to others in the neighborhood and buy from them. I guess they don't know how it cuts to the bone. Oh well...

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  6. My dear - you've already answered your own question - you and Bethie need to have lunch and leave the other ladies be. Love the photo of your mama and daddy. Glad that Mark could let his feelings show - it's so helpful, but most guys can't get that.
    I knew the cows were cows - gorgeous! I'm busy making booties for my neice's baby dolls for Christmas. At least they knit quickly.
    Have a great weekend.

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