title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Monday, June 10, 2013

Weekend Fun--Kinda

The high temperature today was:  73 degrees
The humidity today was:  65% 
Sunny, with a nice breeze.

Basically--I did nothing all weekend.  I didn't even go to church this morning.  I did walk to the corner and back and along the way--stopped to talk to neighbor ladies out tending their beautiful flower gardens.  This park is really pretty this time of year.  Nice, well kept yards and gardens.

Saturday, Pearl and I were talking about genealogy and she stated that she wanted to find out more about her mother's side of the family.  They came from Sweden and Pearl swears, her grand mother was the daughter of a duchess.  I like genealogy, so when I came home, I jumped on ancestry.com to find out what I could.  Pearl also wanted to find out about her father's parents.  I had her mother's and father's name so I was good to go.

After about two hours--I found her father's father.  Edgar, his wife Amelia and their son Milton, born in 1916--Pearl's father.  I printed it all out for her.  Then went on a search for her mother's mother.

I found her and her husband; Catherina Fredrica and Ole Larson.  I couldn't go back any further because their parents names were not listed and had never immigrated here from Sweden.

I took my many print-outs down to Pearl.  I was excited I had found her father's parents.  She looked it all over and said, "That's not my grandfather's name."

"I thought you didn't know your grandfather's name."

"I didn't when you were here, but I remember now.  His name wasn't Edgar, it was Herbert and his wife's name was Flora."

"Well..isn't it strange that their last name was Cook and they had a son Milton, your father's name, born in the same year as your father.  I will go and look for Herbert and Flora."

So I trotted home and researched Herbert and Flora and found them and their son Milton.  I also found a bit more on Catherina and Ole.  I doubt Catherina was a Swedish duchess' daughter as she and her husband lived in a town in Minnesota with only 89 families.  (The population today is 508).  I doubt a Swedish duchess' daughter would end up there...but who knows.

I printed all that out and took it back to Pearl.

She looked over the pages again and said, "Oh--I know all this.  I wanted  you to find how my grand mother was a daughter of a Swedish duchess."

ARGGH!!

"Sorry.  I can't get Swedish census or birth records."

"Why not?"

"Because, basically all I have to look at is US Census reports. "

"Well, how am I going to find out?"

"I don't know.  Hire someone to go to Sweden and find the records?"

So, I dragged my eye-strained, muddled head back home.

Then Dar popped in ten minutes later.

Dar is the kind of person who wants to chat--only SHE is the only one who chats.  I have found, she could care less about anything going on with me--she just wants to unload her stuff.

"How are you doing?"  she asks.

"Oh--I've been better." I reply.

"Well--let me tell you about MY week."

...and she did.  I don't really remember all she said as I guess--I wasn't listening very carefully.

Something about trouble at work--she named people I have never heard of.  She had been to get her groceries and her other friend is jealous because another friend took her grocery shopping.  She did manage to get her 28 oz Bigby coffee and her many gallons of water, but she is feeling better since she quit drinking so much.  On and On.

"How is it going with your daughter?"

"Which daughter?" I ask.

"The one who won't speak to you."

"Nothing's changed."

"Well...let me tell you about MY daughter."

...and she did.  My mind wandered again I guess, because I don't remember.

"And Doctor Amy said my spine is getting much better."

Then she left.

So I popped in the DVD of "Roots".  It's been a lifetime since I watched it on TV.  Really good--sad, but good.

Then Pearl called--could I come down.  She just got her computer back from getting fixed and she couldn't remember how to get to her games.

I clicked off the DVD and walked down.

"I can't get my games."

So I showed her how to get to her Face Book page and all her games lined up on the left side.  Candy Crush, Pet Rescue, Lucky Slots.

"No!  I mean that Bejeweled one I like so much."

I went back to her Face Book page and looked--couldn't find it, so I went into her apps--it wasn't there--so I went to games and found a Bejeweled Blitz.

"No!  That's not the right one!"  She was getting frustrated.  "Why does this damn computer torture me so much.  I played that game all the time and now, this damn computer has lost it!"

"No it's not lost.  The computer did not eat it.  Calm down---we'll find it."

I clicked on her desk top and there was an icon for....Ta Dah...Bejeweled 3!

I click on it, up comes the game and she says, "How did you find it?  That's the one!!!"

I go back to her desktop and show her the icon.  "Just click on it and your game will come up."

"I have been looking for that.  It wasn't on there before!"

Okay

"Well--now your computer is fixed.  YAY.  You have sound now and the colors are right.  Did they put in a new sound card and video card?"

"No--there are no cards I have to insert.  They even got my printer working.  They did something---oh---it starts with a "G"--like you told me was wrong."

"G.  Hm-mm.  I have no idea what it could be," says I.

"My daughter's boyfriend fixed it--for free!  They had to tear it apart and put in some stuff."

"A new mother board?"

"No. They fixed the sound and the way the screen looks and the printer works...and some sort of memory and those "G" things I told you about."

"Did they download new drivers?"

"THAT'S IT.  Drivers like you told me."

"Drivers doesn't start with a "G"."

"Hah--no wonder you were confused."

Okay

So I dragged my exhausted mind home and watched some more of the DVD and cross stitched and some baseball and by 10:00 I was so tired.  A day of mental exhaustion is much more tiring then a day of physical work I have found.

Now I know why her husband plays deaf most of the time.  Pearl is so adamant when she thinks she is right--that he certainly isn't going to argue with her when he knows she is wrong.  It would be very tiring to live with someone like that.

However--I love her.  She would give me the shirt off her back.

She will not do any exercise to help her arthritis because it hurts too much to exercise.  I loaned her my walker and my cane--thinking that with those she could get out and walk--she won't use either one.

She has yet to make an appointment with the rheumatologist I got the referral for her.  She has yet to make an appointment with another doctor--hers is so terrible.  I got her two referrals for docs that will still take Medicare patients.  She will not try and lose weight.

She has had two back surgeries and now heard about a new surgery to cure back pain--my daughter Karen had it done.  They go in a small incision, clip a nerve, scrap out all the spurs and do it as outpatient surgery.  Karen had good luck with hers.  So now, Pearl wants me to get the name of the surgeon so she can consult with him.

I will get the info--don't really want to because, if she has the surgery done and it doesn't work--guess who's fault it will be?  After all, I am the one who encouraged her to get the shots in her back--from the Depo-Medrol that was tainted with fungus!!!  Praise God her dose was not tainted and she didn't get meningitis or I would have felt terribly guilty!!!

To this day, she wonders why so many got meningitis and died and she didn't.  She thinks God saved her and now she wonders why He did.  I don't explain that she didn't get a dose that was tainted and just let her assume that God works in mysterious ways---because He does!!!  Although, her pain management doctor called her specifically to tell her, not to worry, that the dose she was given was NOT tainted.  She doesn't remember that call.  She just believes that God saved her--which is a good thing to believe!!

I just wish she would quit asking me why God saved her, because I don't know what to say--knowing the real reason, but not wanting to take away from her belief.

When she asked me that question, yet again last Thursday, I said, "Another mystery we have no way of knowing.  He must still have plans for you.  When you get to Heaven, you can ask Him."

She got a big smile on her face and said, "Good idea.  If I remember, I WILL ask Him!"

=========================================

Later----
This evening, Pearl's hubby went for a bike ride to look for pop/beer cans to turn in for money--and she came down for a visit.  She brought a book I had given her two weeks ago.  It was a brand new one that was published in May.    It is the 4th book in the series written by Paul Evans entitled, "The Walk."  We have read and enjoyed the other three so I had pre-ordered this one to get it right away.  I hadn't even read it yet.

"I brought this book back because I've already read it."

"You couldn't have.  It was just published last month.  I gave it to you the minute I got it."

"I don't know.  But...I've read it somewhere.  I know all the characters and the fact that he's walking to Key West and that he is in the hospital from an accident."

"Well--he's BACK in the hospital with a brain tumor--that's the way the last one ended."

"I know that!  This is the same book.  His wife died.  He is walking to Key West and now he's in the hospital."

"Look on the fly leaf and see when it was published."

"I already saw that.  It says May 2010."

"Well--just look again, so we can be sure.  I will send it back if we've already read it."

While she was doing that, I came in and got the third book.

I started reading the last few pages of the third book while she was trying to find the front page where it tells when the book was published.  As I read, Pearl stopped and listened.

"I remember all that," she said.  "This book is just like it.--Exact same names and everything."

"Did you find the page?"

"Yes.  Wait a minute....hm-mm, it says, "Published May 2013."  Now, that was last year--right?"

"No--this is 2013."

"Oh my god...I'm going crazy...aren't I?"

"No!  It sounded familiar to you because it is a continuation from the last book--which you read over a year ago and have forgotten--just like I have...the names are the same.  He was in the hospital from an accident--remember that girl that was his secretary found him along side the road?  Now--this is later and he is in the hospital with a brain tumor.  Remember--he was walking and he kept getting sick and falling?"

"Yes--I remember now.  I will take it back and read more of it.  Thanks for straightening me out.  When is the next book coming out?"

I took the book and looked in the back..."Not until May 2014.  Next year."

"A whole year?  I will have forgotten it again by then," and she laughed.

These instances are coming more often.  It scares me.  All I can do is help her, if I can.  I need to be more patient and guide her along gently and hope it is only forgetfulness and not something more severe.

...and onward we go--ever forward!









3 comments:

  1. You are such a good and patient friend! I thought that you might like to know that your posts have become part of my morning routine. I get up at 5.45, have breakfast then wash my hair. While my hair is drying in the towel I always read your posts! I guess it must be mid-evening with you? All the best, Jx

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  2. Judy, so happy that you have neighbors. I do but no one is in touch - sad. Not like that when moved here 35 years ago and it was so different. Now all those wonderful caring neighbors have passed away and these younger ones are who I sold homes too :)
    Young, busy and some just only wave. I do keep in contact with notes, smiles and waving...
    Have a wonderfuly day and you have a good life.

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  3. I'm sorry that Pearl is having a hard time remembering. And, like you I hope it's not anything serious. Is she about our age? It's so nice that you have patience. The last home I lived in; my neighbor would call or just come over. She was nosy but only wanted the highlights because she wanted to talk, talk. I feel kind of bad that I haven't returned her calls, but I'm not as nice as you are. Really.

    xoxo

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