title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Is it spring or is winter just around the corner?

Don't any of you have to answer those kinds of medical/health/social questions?  I have too every year for my Medicare Wellness check.  When I go in for my mammogram, I have to fill out a questionnaire--same at the PT office.  When I go in for my lung CT scan, I probably will again.  Then they ask the required questions like. Do you have black lung disease.  Are you a veteran. Do you have insurance through an employer and of course, with each new medical doctor, they inform you of the HIPPA regulations.

Sometimes I make funny notations, if I am writing the answers myself.  Like the "Are you sexually active?"  I write, "Only in my dreams."  or "Not at the moment."  Stuff like that--just to give them a laugh or throw them a curve.  One time I put down, "None ya."  (None ya business.)

This kind of paperwork is ridiculous.  Sometimes they give me an I-Pad to use and the pen they give me never works on the dang thing.  I think they may use these questionnaires for government surveys or polls of some kind.  The government likes their statistics and demographics.  Someone is working in an office in DC, making $100K a year just to record all the stats on how many women/men over 70 are sexually active.  HAH
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Beautiful day today.  Sunny and 67 degrees.  Tomorrow we are expecting a cold front to come through and along with it....severe thunder storms and.........tornadoes?  Yeah--we are going to have a tornado watch.  In February.  In Michigan.  Weirdest February I have ever lived through.  

I had a strange moment today.  I had to run up to Walmart for cat food and prescriptions.  Had a nice shopping trip, got home, unloaded with no problems, put everything away and sat down to relax.  All of a sudden, I had the strongest ache for missing Fred.  Tears just started running down my cheeks--and you all know---I never cry.

It came so quickly and for no known reason, but it was deep and it was hurtful.  I almost felt like he was near--just out of reach.  Very strange.  Very palpable pain and sadness.  I don't know why.




Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Social Interactions

My poor physical therapist!!  I think she thinks I may be a lost cause.  On our first meeting Monday, which I thought was only to fill up paperwork and do a evaluation on what I needed, but instead turned into an hour long torture session, must find me quite anti-social.

I hadn't worn my glasses so she had to answer the questions for me.  Put a little "x" in the box of yes or no.

"Do you exercise?"    NO.   "Okay, no need to ask you how much or how many times a week."
"Do you walk every day?"  NO.  "Okay, no need to ask you how far you walk."
"Do you belong to any social clubs?"  NO.  "Okay."
"Do you attend functions at a senior center?"  NO.  "All right."
"Do you go out to eat frequently?"  NO
"Do you go to movies?"  NO.
"Do you attend church regularly?"  NO.
"Do you visit with family members at least once a week?"  NO.

Then she looked at me.  "What DO you do?"

"Lots of things.  I'm always busy.  I cross stitch.  I spend a lot of time on my computer.  I love to garden.  I crochet and knit.  I do housework and laundry."

"Do you cook?"  Not if I can help it.
"Is there someone who would come into your home and assist you if you needed it?"  NO.

That's when she got it into her head that I should join a water aerobics class or a fitness center.  "It would get you out and you could socialize with people."

"That is the last thing I want to do!"

She looked at me again.  Then she started working on me and I said...................

"Okay--let me tell you my story.  For some 30 years I was involved in everything.  Starting with being a room mother, the PTA president.  The secretary for the Little League baseball team and the official scorer, where I was at the baseball field three nights a week.  Saturday nights I was also there because my Dad was a softball coach and I was his assistant and scorekeeper.

I organized a woman's golf league with two flights and 80 players and was scorekeeper and secretary of that.  I planned all the tournaments and events.  

I sang in the church choir every Sunday, I taught Bible School in the summers.  I took my kids to piano lessons, Flute lessons, swimming lessons, dance lessons.  I was an assistant Troop leader for the Girl Scouts.  One year, my house was where all the  cookies were delivered.

When my kids were in high school, I was a Band Booster parent and worked at the Friday night fish fry suppers.  I was on the curriculum committee and was a driving force to have computers put into the school in the early 1980's.  I had three men on that committee that thought computers were not needed.  They didn't need them when they were in school, neither did their kids.  I had to convince them.

Our barn was where my daughter's class met every October to build their homecoming float.  I made several hundred tissue paper flowers.  I made all the skirts and blouses for the flag girls, the first year the marching band promoted flag girls.

I baked cakes and cookies for every cake walk or cookie sale or bake sale my kids classes had.  I organized and recruited workers for the annual school fun/game night and festival.  I organized and recruited other women to have a book sale from the school library.

Then, when I went to work, I was the bosses private secretary--or he thought of me that way.  I had to pick up his dry cleaning, go out and get his lunch and take his car to be washed.  When his wife turned forty, he was out of town, so I had to plan her surprise party, the catering, the venue, the decorations.  I made all the travel plans and airline and hotel reservations.  

I put out a monthly newsletter and I planned and coordinate the annual company Christmas party and the annual company picnic for three hundred people.  I organized and made all the booklets for the annual business meeting, made all travel arrangements for the different managers and set up the room where the conference was to be held."

"Oh."

"I have done enough socializing in those thirty years to last me the rest of my life.  Now, I like one-on-one visits--that last an hour or less.  The world is too noisy for me and I am very content to be in my home, doing what I want to do and not being scheduled up to my ears in stuff I HAVE to do."
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  So today, when I went in for my hour long PT, she merely asked me how I was doing and if I was in any pain.  Then as she worked on me, she told me her life story.  She is one of those modern working mother's that thinks she can do it all and have it all.  I feel kind of sorry for her.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The agony and the.................No. No ecstasy

No arson took place yesterday, you will be glad to know.

Up to the Cartridge World at the crack of 10:00.  Swapped out the bad Tri-Color inkjet for a new one.  Stopped at the print shop to drop off pedigrees for them to copy onto nice long paper.

Put the new inkjet in and printed out the photos on scrap paper and the Navy blue clothes were indeed, Navy blue.  Loaded in the expensive, special paper and..............success.  The last page done.  The book completed.  Now to get the pedigrees back from the print shop and inserted in the book, back to the print shop to get the book bound and off into the mail.

It was around 1:00 when I happened to look at my calendar and noticed I had an appointment at the physical therapy place at 4:00--in Brighton.  ARGGH!!! If I had only remembered, I could have made a trip to the Cartridge World AND PT at the same time.  One trip.
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My visit to the Physical Therapy place was just for an evaluation.  I turned in all the paper work you have to do for those places and then a therapist came and got me and we walked back to a little room.  She just wanted to look at me--how I stand and sit and walk.  No big deal.

Ah Hah!  An hour later, after she had pressed and pulled and maneuvered every sore spot on my upper body and created more sore areas, I finally called "Uncle" and she stopped.  Good Grief!

The sorest spot--the muscle under my scapula (wing bone), which hadn't been really sore in weeks, was now inflammed and marching to a pain that came with every pulse beat.  

"You're a mess!"  she proclaimed.  "Why have you waited so long?"

When I could once again breathe, I said, "I have been intending to get physical therapy for the last two years, but..........................."

"Well--you have waited so long it's going to take longer to get you back into shape!"

"Sorry."  

I haven't been scolded like that since I was twelve.

"Your shoulder is practically frozen.  Your C2 and C3 are practically welded together.  That's the reason you can't turn your head and the reason for the numbness in your left arm and hand.  Your shoulders are sitting up by your ears.  Your left shoulder is higher than your right shoulder and becoming humped.  When you walk, you walk with your head jutted forward."

Now, this young thing is small.  Thin as a rail and delicate looking.



She had hands with the strength of Brunhilde!  When she put her thumbs into that muscle in my back, I expected it to come out through my chest.  



"You need to start exercising.  I'd like to see you start swimming."

"I don't know how."

"Water aerobics then."

"I don't have a swim suit."

"You can buy one for twenty dollars at Meijers."

"Not one that will hold up these ta-tas.  The last one I bought was a hundred and twenty."

"Join a gym and lift weights and exercise your upper body."

"I can't afford that."

As she ushered me to the door she added, "Oh, since you are on a blood thinner....you may have bruising on your back.  Don't worry about it.  See you on Wednesday."
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I have had physical therapy and chiropractic therapy on my upper and lower back several times in the last twenty years.  I had PT before and after both of my hip surgeries.  I have never hurt as much as I did when I stumbled out of there yesterday.

To tell you the truth, I don't remember what I ate for supper or what I watched on TV last night, but I do remember looking at the clock when I fell into bed at 9:00 last night!   9:00?

See ya on Wednesday.

Monday, February 20, 2017

The world tries hard to drive me to distraction..............

I love Mondays--really I do.  When I was single and working, the weekends out on the farm where I lived seemed so long and I was eager to get back to the city, and the work place and all the people.  Now, I still feel like Monday is a special day.  A new week.  Time to get things done, although it really isn't any different than any other day around here in Retirement Park.

But...Oh, what a day.

Saturday--I was trying (the operative word here is trying), to print out a final genealogy book.  Everything was going along just fine and then--as it always happens--three pages came out with the photographs in odd colors.  The Navy blue clothing the people wore was a weird shade of Violet.  

Now, I am not dumb enough to think something is wrong with my printer, it was obvious my Tri-Color inkjet cartridge was running out--had run out--had died.  I bundled my inkjets into a bag and headed up to Brighton to the refill place.  2 black cartridges and 1 Tri-color.  I wanted 1 refill of each.

"This one black cartridge is three-quarters full.  Here is a new black and color one.  Use the three-quarters one first--I cleaned it up, but didn't charge you."

"Thanks."

I stopped and got gas on the way home and a quick trip to Michael's--way in the back--for ONE skein of floss.  The line was long.  ONE--skein.  I told the girl it would have been easier just to shop lift it.  She eyed me strangely.

Home for lunch and loaded my new cartridges into my printer.  Ah-hh, such a good, relaxed feeling to know that I can finish the job.  The test page looked a bit strange, but I loaded in the expensive special paper and printed out two photographs.  The clothing was still Violet in color.

What the heck?

Took the cartridges out, looked at them, patted them on a wet paper towel and tried again--this time on scrap paper.  Violet.

Took the 3/4 black one out and put the new black one in.  Violet.

Now, the Navy dress the lady was wearing was quite pretty in Violet, but her husband's Navy blazer looked a little weird in that same color.

I have two printers, exactly alike.  One is a remanufactured newer one.  I plugged that one in, swapped out the ink cartridges.  Printed.  Violet.

Yanked the cartridges out and back up to the refill place.  A placard on the darkened shop informed me, "Closed at 2:00 on Saturday".

EGADS AND LITTLE FISH HOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I came home and did as any sane woman would do.  Sat in my recliner for the rest of the day and watched a basketball game and many movies on Turner Classic Movie channel AND cross-stitched!!!

Now--today?  Another journey up to the refill place.  Satisfaction will be mine or I will burn the place down!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, February 19, 2017

My Alter Ego----the Dowager

Glad to see you took my last post in the humor it was intended.  Difficult to write about TMI without being humorous.  You have no idea how long it took me to think up words that would paint the picture without being too gross.  HAH!!!!!!
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...and it's also possible to agree with both.  

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Too much fun.......

I am having way too much around here!!!

When I was at the doc's last week, I inquired about a colon cancer screening test that has just come out on the market.  Perhaps you have seen the commercials on TV.  He said, "Sure" and a few days later the UPS guy delivered a fairly large white and blue box to my front door.

Now, I know darn well that that cute UPS guy knew exactly what was in that package, but I just took it and said, "Thank you," and scurried back in the house.




The next morning, I decided it was time for me to investigate the innards of the box and get too my mission.  There was a large, zip lock bag and inside was an assortment of implements.  



Something that looked like perhaps a toilet seat protector, that comes in those dispensers in the toilet stalls, but this one was made of plastic.  It had to be placed between the seat and the toilet lid.  

Inside the box was also a rather large plastic container with a lid.  Like one of those fat, squat thermos' you can get to carry stew or soup in for your lunch.  This container was to sit down into the middle hole of the plastic "bracket" between the toilet lid and seat.  There was also a test tube sort of thing included in the kit.

One is supposed to sit upon this "bracket" and deposit one's G. I. tract contents.  BUT WAIT--there is a warning.  One is not to allow any liquid from the bladder to get into the container.

I took the bracket out and did my bladder thing and then put it all back together again.  As I sat down, very carefully positioning myself into the correct alignment, as one would not want to lose any precious cargo, the bracket made a loud cracking noise and I immediately envisioned, part of the plastic holders coming up and spearing me in the nether regions and perhaps causing a rupture of some kind and my imminent death.

I was barely in the mood anymore, but.....once started, one must proceed to the finish, so I pushed on.

Now the fun part starts.  I removed the thermos-like container and gazed into the depths to see what I had produced.  There were no images of anything miraculous, so I proceeded on to the next step.

In the test tube was a very sharp plastic pointy thing with a spiral on the end.  The instructions called for me to take the spiral end and sort of use it somewhat like an archeology tool to investigate and collect part of the newly deposited product onto the spiral end.

Put the pointy thing back in the test tube.  Pour a large bottle of preservative into the thermos-like container, tighten the lid---VERY TIGHTLY, put my name label on both test tube and container, put it back into the zip lock back---press all the air out of the bag, pull the glue strip off the top of the box and adhere tightly, with the free lab shipping address plainly in sight.

On my way to get my hair cut, I stopped at the local UPS store and proudly carried in the box.  You would have thought it was filled with gold going to an assayer, as I walked in tall and business like.

Now, I know darn well that the young UPS guy clerk knew exactly what was in that package, but I handed it off and said, "Thank you," and got outta there before my face got any redder.

I wonder if he had to put a "hazardous waste" sticker on it.  

A colonoscopy may have been less embarrassing.  At least I would have been asleep and not known what was going on.  EWWWW!!!
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As you know, my hair stylist died and they gave me to another girl at the same salon.  That girl just couldn't figure out how I wanted my hair cut.  It's not like I wear any hair cut that is complicated.  Then she decided to open her own shop.  Twelve miles away and in the fancy mall, with three round-abouts to maneuver to reach it. 

That is not happening!!! 

I had mentioned all this to Karen and she said one of her good friends goes to Fantastic Sam's.  Yeah--like do any of those places give a good hair cut?  I got the stylist's name and went yesterday.  Now, these are walk-in places, which are un-nerving to me.  I want an appointment.  I want to know what time to be there, put it on my calendar schedule and to prepare myself for the visit.  So I called in the morning and they do take appointments for that day.  Got in at 2:30.

Well, let me tell you.  This lady has been cutting hair since 1978.  She does know what she is doing.  She looked at my hair and told me exactly what I wanted--and she was correct.  I suppose, in all her knowledge, she could easily read the "lines" of my last cut?  

$17.00 for a hair cut.  $17.00.  Most places charge $35.00 and that is ridiculous for me to pay.  Plus they do eyebrow waxes--the whole salon thing.  

I think she did a great job and now I can go once a month, instead of waiting to save up the $$$ and the hair getting too unruly.



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Had lunch with the Old School Gal Pals today.  It's nice--having known each other for 70+ years, we know what topics we can talk about and which ones not to bring up.  They told about some of the ridiculous things their, now, old husbands do and I sat and listened and laughed, with a smug look on my face because I don't have to put up with that stuff.

Then, out to The Farm and an hour with my Little Sis.  I had a great day and tonight I am properly tired out and ready for bed.

We are expecting record high temperatures in the next 5 days!  In the 60's.  How great is that going to be?

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Yeah but..........

I had to go to Walmart yesterday.  Yesterday--the afternoon of the 14th--Valentine's Day.  They had one small area of Valentine's cards--the entire rest of the display was fast becoming the Easter cove.  Seems like they could have waited at least until the 15th to start changing their display.

Oh--I am so critical of stuff lately.  It's like I commented on Jean's blog this morning: "Why do I think I am the teacher of the world?"

Lately I feel I am disagreeable, just to be disagreeable.  When told something, it seems I have to take the Devil's Advocate and espouse on the other side of the story.  I am finding there's a lot of "yeah, but...." in my sentences.  

In my opinion (here I go again), this world of ours is in such upheaval, I can't quite cope with it.  People are still arguing about the stupid election.  Democrats are still going nutz about it, without realizing it was their own party that got comfortable and blase and didn't realize how much unrest there was with their President's policies.  Republicans are still going nutz and trying to justify every idiotic thing the now President is doing.  I find myself yelling at the TV when the nightly news is on.

Stop the immigrants!  No, let them in.  Yeah but, Clinton stopped immigration.  Yeah but, Obama stopped immigration.  Yeah but, Roosevelt stopped immigration.  Why isn't Trump allowed to stop immigration?  You want to come to my country?  Fine, get in line like my Great Great Grandpa did!

Liberals are supposed to be tolerant of other's beliefs.  Yeah but, they aren't, not if you don't agree with them.  They will argue and try and wear you down to their side.  I have been called ignorant on Face Book because I didn't agree.

Ain't happening here.  Their rants and arguments just make me want to set my feet even firmer and I quit listening to their reasons.  All the Face Book shared links, aren't going to change any one's mind to your side of the coin.  So give it a rest and let's go back to being kind to each other--no matter which side we are on.

Abortion?  Back in the day, people didn't talk about their beliefs so much, but if they did, you allowed them whatever way they wanted to think and live.  Oh sure, you might have shaken your head, not visibly of course, but they went along with their life and you went along with yours.  As a genealogist, I often think, "What if that child had been aborted?  After all, they had 10 kids as it was.  They could barely afford to feed the ones they had."  Yeah but.....if it had been aborted, there would be one less branch on that family tree, and oh look--that 11th child is the one that I am descended from.  

Planned Parenthood?  Back in the day, it was THE place to go to be taught about birth control, family planning, how to care for a newborn.  You could get fitted for a diaphragm for free, if you didn't have insurance.  In the '60's, if you didn't have insurance, you could get your free birth control pills there.  Now people want to portray it as a killing field?  Yeah but......I'll bet you can still go there for birth control and lessons taught and NOT just to have an abortion.

It seems most of life now is all based on politics.  People living on Welfare generation after generation.  When did they stop wanting to build a life for themselves?  Something they and their family could be proud of?  Yeah but........there are still a lot of people that really need the help.  Old people like me.  A young couple that aren't educated enough to find decent jobs to support their babies.

Liberals calling Trump Republicans rebels and radicals.  Yeah but....back a couple hundred years ago, there were Rebels and people radical in their thinking and nowadays we call them Patriots.  They were the ones that built this country.

Back in the day, religion wasn't talked about much.  You met and conversed with Agnostics and you didn't try and sway them over to the Christian way of thinking.  If you were a Christian, you believed in God and that Jesus was Him sent to earth in human form, that Jesus died and was raised up alive and lives in Heaven and if you believe all that, you will go there when you die.  Pretty simple.  

Now we have Evangelical Christians and Westboro Baptist Christians.  We have Catholic Christians who still hold to the old rules of the church and ones who want to bring in all new stuff with their weird thinking.  We have people that think you can't be a Christian if you judge the way others live.  Yeah but....Jesus judged.  God judges.  We have to be able to judge a person's lifestyle to know if we want to be part of that crowd or not.  We don't judge them to their face, but in our minds.  Love the sinner, hate the sin?  

Christians have gotten a bad name and it's too bad.  We used to be thought of as nice, calm, upstanding people, who would help anyone that needed it, work with the poor, take a refugee into our home, visit the prisons, give anonymous gifts to people in need and not say a word of what we had done.  We still do that, most of us aren't radicals on the far, far Right.

Now we have Christians for Trump.  What?  Yes, there are Christians who supported Trump.  There are Christians who supported Obama.  There are Christian Liberals and Christian Conservatives and one Christian Moderate who lives in this house.  What is a poor old-time Methodist to do?  and Yeah but...how can Trump be thought of as a Christian with his language and his ways?  Maybe a christian with a small "c", a "baby" christian?    


See?  There I go again.  And---why does any of it matter?  In our own lives...does any of this really matter?  I never used to be critical of anyone or anything.  I never used to use the word "stupid" about anything or anyone.  Years ago, if I had noticed the Easter collection going up way too early in a store, I would have laughed about it and been glad I could grab a box of Peeps early.  

It is what it is!!!  I only have to take care of this small part of the world.  So I am going to try real hard and breathe, and live as calmly and as nicely as I can and instead of Yeah but....coming into the conversations, just a gently nodding of the head.  A nodding of the head doesn't necessarily mean I agree, it just means, I understand where you are coming from.  

My stomach will ache less.  My nerves will be better for it.  My whole life will be better for it.  I will continue to pray every morning and night and thank God for all I have, because I know that I know that I know---I would not be in as good a state as I am in, without some sort of divine intervention.

I will do this, because it is my way of life.  You will continue to believe in whatever way you believe, because it is your way of life.  We will be non-critical of each other-----PLEASE----and maybe, just maybe, we can still be friends and love each other?

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

No worries---

Not too worry that I don't lock my front door.  I never lock my front door.  Not even when I'm gone for the day.  In the summer I do when I go to bed, but.....................................

I live in a manufactured home park.  There are probably 300 homes in here, each lot size is about 35' between homes and it would be a One in a Million chance that some stranger would pick mine, out of all the others, to walk in to.  Besides, all of us neighbors are snoopy and if there was a car in my driveway and my car was gone, one of those neighbors would have written down the license plate number and call me when I got home to report the strange car.  LOL

Neighbors knock once and then slowly open my door and call out.  I do the same at Pearl's and Dar's and Jackie's.  It started when I had my last hip surgery.  They all knew it was hard for me to get out of my recliner and get to the door, so--they knock, then open the door and call my name and I yell, "C'mon in", and everything is fine.

When I visit Pearl, I knock on her window, by her chair and then just walk in.  It is hard for her to get up and come to the door too.

Actually the only people that visit and knock and wait for me to haul myself over and open the door, are my kids--which I find strange and weird!!
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I am officially in love with and completely addicted to Prednisone.  If it didn't hurt my kidney's, liver and heart, I would take it every day for the rest of my life.

I haven't felt this good in many months!  I have so much energy.  I don't get tired.  Because it is an anti-inflammatory, none of my arthritic joints hurt--not one bit.  My mind is clearer and quicker and sharper than it has been in years!!!  My mood seems so much happier.

You cannot imagine all that I got done yesterday, that I have been putting off because I was not in the mood.  I called my cable carrier and talked to those East Indian's and got my bill lowered from 122.00 to 95.00, locked in for a year--same channel package that I had before.

I called and made an appointment to get my CT lung scan done.  I called about my gift debit card that has been compromised.  I called to make an appointment to get to the physical therapy office and start treatment.  I called and found a new hair stylist and made an appointment, I did 5 loads of laundry, cleaned up the house, AND I got my pedigrees up to the print shop, AND I finished the editing on my last genealogy book and started printing it, AND I made my Rib Eye Steak for supper.

3 minutes on each side.  Look at the size of that thing!!  Two meals for sure.  It has been ages since I have had meat to eat.  It was so good!!!
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Monday, February 13, 2017

Monday Moaning

If you haven't become acquainted with or read this young man's blog--you must start now!

I subscribed to his blog so I see it in my e-mail, first thing in the morning, and his words make my whole day better.  Sean of the South, here.
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The Prednisone is working!  Now, if I could just keep my sinuses from draining and causing that "clumping" feeling in the back of my throat, so I don't feel like I have to cough, which irritates my voice, I should live.  I have started taking Claritin, hoping to keep my sinuses dry.

It's a good thing too because I have all sorts of stuff I need to get done.  I have pedigrees I need to get to the print shop to be copied and then put in the books, get the books bound and mailed.  

I need to get PT scheduled and my CT lung scan scheduled.  I need to get on the phone and fight with Comcast to get my bill corrected and I have hardly anything to eat in this house.

Plus, there is laundry I didn't do over the weekend and vacuuming and dusting, and I need a hair-cut bad and need to find a new hair stylist.

ARGGH!  I'm tired already just thinking about all of it.
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Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my chair, watching a movie and cross-stitching, when I heard a knock at the front door.  I remained sitting waiting for Dar or John or Merle to just walk in as they usually do, but the knock came again, so I hauled outta my chair and opened the door.

It was Jennifer!!!!!

Last week was her week to work in Michigan.  She had to drive from New Jersey, down to Philadelphia to get out of the snow storm so she could catch a flight into Detroit, but she made it.

She brought goodies for me to eat, a nice Rib-Eye Steak and a frozen Lobster tail!!!  And a washed, baking potato, shrink wrapped in plastic.  You don't take it out of the plastic--just put it in the microwave and nuke it like that.  Amazing and it was sooooooo good loaded with butter!

We had a nice chat, that didn't last near long enough.  Some of the incidences she told me about that she has gone through, getting out of meetings in the evening and having to walk to her car alone in the dark in the big cities.  Being accosted by a drug addict wanting money.  

She has a great life, very interesting and important to a lot of people, setting up Non-Profit organizations for the poor and under-privileged, but all of it just scares me.  None of which is her monthly air plane flights into and out of here.

She told me all about what the kids are involved in.  It was a wonderful time and I didn't cry at all--until after she drove away.

How I enjoy one-on-one visits.  I wish my kids would stop in more often.  
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Then, this morning, I found out, via Face Book, that apparently all the kids and Karen's kids and great grand daughter Della, got together Sunday at Pammies and.........I wasn't invited.  I don't know why that hurt, but it did.  How I would have loved that.  Just to sit back in a corner and watch them all interact with each other.  

I guess it's like their Sibling weekend they have up north at Karen's cottage.  I would ruin their time together?  Boy--it would be great to just be with all of my kids, all at the same time.  It's been a very long time since that has happened.

I think i t's because I remember back to the days when we all were together and had such a good time.  So much laughter and jokes and such a feeling of love in the house.  Now, it's like, I am off to the side and the next time we ALL get together, will be my funeral--except I won't be there.
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Enough of this maudlin, pity party--Dear Diary, I have things I have to do in this moment in time, on this day. 

As she says, "Onward and upward--ever forward"!

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Question

How long does it take this dang Prednisone to work?  I still feel lousy and tired.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

February Missions............

February is the month when I get all my medical stuff taken care of.

I am still harboring the cold and luckily, today was my doctor's appointment for what is now called, "The Medicare Well Check."  Two pages of stupid questions to answer, one of which was; "Do you suffer from any sexual dysfunctions?"  With choices of :Often", "Sometimes", I decided to be a smart a** and in large letters wrote, "NA".  HAH!  Got my weight, blood pressure checked, and all meds renewed and then the doc came in all aglow about my blood work.

I decided to throw him a curve, because I love to do that.

"These blood tests don't really show you much, do they?

"Well......."

"I mean, they wouldn't show if I had a cancer cell growing somewhere.  They wouldn't show if I had congestive heart failure.  Not just these normal CBC tests.  You would run a more specific blood test then.  Right?"

"True, but we have found a certain significance if someone were starting to have a kidney failure, on the kidney function blood work."

"SO--do I have to go through this torture twice a year?"

"Okay--in your case, these blood tests show nothing--that's true, and you probably only need them once a year--unless you start feeling unwell...something like that."

"I have a couple of questions I need to ask, so you gotta give me more than five minutes."

"I always give you half an hour, Judy....although most of the time we don't need that long."  He smiled.

"Okay--I still have this cold,  Can you check my throat?  It's still sore."  So he did and it was red and inflamed.

"I can give you something to help that, if you will take it."

"Okay.  Now--in August your office girls said I was too old to get the preventative low-dose CT scan of my lungs.  I called Medicare and they told me, "once a year, between the ages of 55-77, for ex smokers, or current smokers, who have smoked at least a pack a day for 30 years."

"How old are you?"

"Seventy-seven."

"I thought the cut off was seventy-five."

"I know you did...that's why I called Medicare."

"Okay, when will you be seventy-eight?"

"In June, so I'd like the referral paper work so I can get it done now."

"Okay.  Anything else?"

"Yes, I also need a referral paper so I can start physical therapy on my neck and shoulder.  I have put it off way too long."

"Okay.  Got it.  Anything else?"

"Yes.  Do you use those new Colo-Guard hemaoccult testers?"

"How long has it been since you've had a colonoscopy?"

"Never and I'm not going to start now.  Those testers come in the mail and you mail the sample back to the lab.  They test the DNA for cancer cells.  I'm all into DNA testing."

"Okay.  I'll fill out the form and you'll get it in the mail.

"Anything else?"

"Yes--do I need a mammogram every year.  Last year they told me I am at very low risk assessment."

"You don't need to get one ever again--unless you want too.  You don't need PAP tests anymore either."

"Good because I haven't had one of those since I turned seventy."

"You're doing great!  Anything else?"  

"Yes--can I still come in every six months instead of the four month check-in you like for your......what do you call us?  Oh yes......seasoned citizens?"

He laughed.  "Yes.  Six months for you, but you have to promise...if you have a problem...get in here."

"Okay.  I promise."

"Yeah, I bet.  You'd wait three months to see if it went away and then you'd come crawling in here and expect me to cure you.  By the way, I noticed your tremors seem to be worse.  In both hands now?"

"Yes."

" Do they interfere with your normal daily functions?"

"Yes.  I have a hard time brushing my teeth.  I have a hard time moving the computer mouse and getting the cursor in the right spot.  I have a hard time eating with a spoon, a hard time doing my crochet or cross stitch, and a hard time writing anything."

"I can give you something to help that.  Inderal."

"Okay, let me think about it.  That's also used for high blood pressure, isn't it?  A beta blocker?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm on a beta blocker now and sometimes my blood pressure gets too low as it is and I have dizzy spells, so.............I think I'll wait on that."

"Okay.  I'll get a script for your throat.  Prednisone.  That will get you well quickly."

"Wait...wait...that's a steroid and I don't like them---they aren't good for my heart."

"You are only going to take it for five days.  That inflammation isn't good for your throat either!"

"Okay."
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So I stopped and got my Prednisone--ARGGH--he said to spread the three pills out over the day, taken after a meal and not to take it too late or it would hinder my sleep and "Be sure you take all fifteen pills, even if you start to feel better."

Other then the CT scan, the colon cancer stool sample and starting PT, my February medical needs are taken care off.  

So--I am healthy as a horse ( my father's ancestors are credited for my good genes) healthy as a horse, but still when I talk--I still sound like a horse--a hoarse horse.  

I'll see how good these dang steroids work!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

February Miseries..........

It's gray, rainy and foggy today.  Exactly like my mood!  I am having to push myself to get anything done.

Last Monday, at my cousin's memorial service, a couple of people were, "fighting a cold", when I asked how they were doing.  It should have been no surprise to me when I woke up Wednesday morning, sneezing, runny nose and a scratchiness to my throat.  I haven't had a cold in six years and I was just bragging about it to one of those very cousins, last Monday.  I shoulda known better!!

By Thursday, I had laryngitis and no voice.  Red, sore throat.  I Vicksed, and I took Coricidan, and Flonased, to no avail.  Friday and Saturday, the same.  I felt worse on Sunday than I had on Thursday.

I had an appointment today (Tuesday) to run up to the doctor's office ( 6 miles away) to get my blood drawn before my yearly appointment on this Thursday.  I had heard a weather report that freezing rain was expected, so instead, I had the doc's office fax over my blood draw request to the little hospital just a half mile from here.  I went at 10:00 yesterday morning.

The nurse in my doctor's office uses a butterfly needle for the blood draw.  No such nonsense up at the little hospital.  They use the BIG needle that sucks the blood outta your arm.  Yes, it is quicker to get 3 vials filled up, but every time the nurse leaned over to get a new vial to pop on the needle, she also leaned the needle further into my vein.  So, within a couple of hours on getting home, the spot was still bleeding, and the bruise had started marching up toward my bicep and down toward my forearm.  Plus, my whole upper arm ached.

However, within those couple of hours, I signed into my Patient Portal and there were the results of my blood work.  I find it seriously funny, when I used to ask, "When will I know the results," they used to answer, "You doctor will have them in three days."  In reality, the results have gone to the lab, been centrifuged and posted on the network computer within 2 hours.  Why the three day answer?  Because that's how long it takes the doctor to get around to look in his computer to see them.

In actuality, my doctor will read them just before he walks into my exam room on Thursday.  THUS--the reason I get them, go over them, record them in my Excel spreadsheet and compare them to last years, BEFORE I go to my appointment.  If there are any major changes, I want to know so I can ask the doc about it.

Now last year, he said I had the blood work of a 55 year old.  This years results are nearly the same with my bad cholesterol being one point lower.  Does that make me a 54 year old?  HAH!!!
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You may think all this makes me obsessive about my health.  Not so.  It's just that I don't exactly trust any doctor, so over these many years, I have researched every med prescribed to me.  Researched every procedure done to me.  All of that seems to bring a certain comfort and less stress to me.  To see the report before the doctor does.  I want no surprises!!!

I even watched a video of a hip replacement surgery BEFORE I had mine.  I wouldn't suggest you do that because it is a pretty ugly surgery; bone fragments flying around the operating room, the leg totally disconnected from the body, except by tissue and skin, but for some reason, knowing what was going to happen, made me feel a lot better.  Plus, afterwards, it made me aware of WHY that hip hurt so damn much and I knew, my pain wasn't unusual.  LOL

Besides all that, I think every one needs to be their own advocate and ask questions, like, "Is this test really necessary," and I feel so dismayed when I have asked people like Pearl or Dar, "Which med do you take for high blood pressure?" and they answer, "The pink one."  ARGGH!!!
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Today, I am feeling a bit better from the cold.  My throat only hurts on my left tonsil, my runny nose is drying up and I have my voice back--well kinda.    My living room looks like a total mess, but I have my big long folding table up in there, as I am laying out long pedigrees to take to be printed on long sheets of landscape paper at the print shop.  Maybe tomorrow I will take them.  Not today, in the rain.

Then I can put them into the genealogy books (2) and get those bound.  2 more books to print.  One with an extra generation added, so that will mean another set of pedigrees to be created, put together and printed.  

This work is probably the only reason I have gotten through this cold without totally giving up and just going to bed.  LOL  A nice distraction.
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I watched the first half of the Super Bowl.  My favorite part was George H. W. and Mrs. Bush for the coin toss.  I love those two.  I HAVE to watch "Mercy Street". "Victoria" and "The 6 Wives of Henry VIII" on PBS, so I missed the best part of the Super Bowl--the ending.  Oh well--I didn't really care who won, so it's not to matter.  I am happy these shows are on PBS on Sunday night because I have missed watching "Downton Abbey".

Friday, February 3, 2017

Collections.....

Debbie, over at All About Purple, blogged about her massive collection of Sea Glass.  I had asked her about it a week ago, so I was tickled to pieces to see her post.  I have 3 pieces of sea glass--that's it.

Living in Michigan, we are surrounded by the 5 fresh water Great Lakes.  We occasionally find a piece of sea...or lake glass I suppose it would be called, but mostly, on our lake shores we find rocks!  Interesting rocks.  I have collections of different kinds of rocks, gathered here in Michigan, and from every State I have visited.  My favorites are the heart-shaped rocks I have found.


all kinds of stones 


I found this while looking for info on our State rock--the Petoskey Stone.  I had no idea that at one time Michigan was located near the equator!  Apparently I have forgotten everything I ever learned in college Geology I and II, about Continental Drift.

"Well before dinosaurs roamed the earth, over 350 million years ago during the Devonian period, the land we know as Michigan was located near the equator. Covered by a warm, shallow, saltwater sea, the colonial coral hexagonaria percarinata thrived with other marine life in tropical reefs. The earth’s plates moved and pushed Michigan north to the 45th parallel and above sea level, which created dry land formations. More recently, about two million years ago, glacial action scraped the earth and spread the fossils across the northern Lower Peninsula, depositing major concentrations in the Petoskey area. The prehistoric fossil, unique to the Traverse Group rock strata, is called the Petoskey Stone and is Michigan’s official state stone."

I have Petoskey stones--many, many, collected by the Lake Michigan (west) side of the State.  



One week, in 1985, I was having a very difficult time in my life.  Newly divorced 10 months before, and dumped by my first "rebound" boyfriend, I packed up my station wagon and headed to Lake Huron (east) side of the State.  As I drove along the shore-line, I saw some little cabins, built on the sand, about 100 feet from the Lake.  I stopped and rented one for four days.

Let me tell you--it was tiny.  Probably 200 sq. ft, bed, two kitchen chairs, small table and a bathroom.  It was perfect.  I unloaded my stuff and then walked along that shore-line for a mile or so--looking down, always looking down for any interesting rocks or the occasional shell I might find.

There was a full moon that night and around midnight, I walked out to the shore-line.  I was crying and so distraught.  I looked up and the light from the moon shimmered on the water.  It looked like I could walk on the path of that light right up into Heaven.

I took one step into the water, then another.  Following that path of light across that big Lake.

I do not remember anything after that.   I woke up the next morning, naked in the cottage bed, with a pile of my wet clothes on the floor.  

What had happened?  Had I tried to drown myself?  I can't swim and yet, there lay the evidence that I had been in water up to my neck.  I felt shaky.

I jumped into some dry clothes and walked out to the spot where I had been that night.  The sun was shining so brightly and a nice warm breeze.  I tried to remember the night before.  I remember starting to walk into the big Lake, but...............nothing else.

I looked down at the rocks along the water's edge and saw what I thought was a Petoskey Stone.  Couldn't be--they are found on the other side of the State, many water miles away.  I reached down and picked it up.  Oh My God!  It was!

 It is only as big as my thumb nail.  I carry it in my coin purse, these last 32 years, because that little stone showed me that if it could somehow travel from Lake Michigan, up the shore-line, under the Mackinaw Bridge and down the Lake Huron shore-line to exactly where I was standing?  All things are possible!!
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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

February--or, dark and dreary in the North.

While January always has felt like a new time, a time to get inside chores done and clean up the house, February has always felt like drab, dark and dreary to me.  "The longest month of the year," my Mother used to proclaim.  Usually not enough clean, white snow to cover the dead gardens/lawns and not enough sun to brighten up the dark spaces.

February used to be a much dreaded month for me.  Not so anymore.  I don't know why.  My sister is still affected by it.  Is it my Ott Daylight lamp I sit under while I stitch?  Or is it, that at this age, time goes by so fast that by the time I realize it's February, March is knocking at the door?
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I finally got all the ham sliced and packaged and frozen from the half ham Karen gave me for Christmas.  Sunday, I put that bone in the Crock Pot.  Monday, I added the cabbage, onions, carrots and potatoes.  I enjoyed a nice dish of boiled dinner for supper.  I have frozen the rest.  8 plastic snap-tight containers.



I also attended a Memorial Service for my cousin's husband on Monday.  It was lovely.  I have never been to a Memorial service and it seemed different than a regular funeral.  Better, more relaxed than a funeral.  Perhaps because the deceased person is not reclining in a casket at the back/front of the room?

Each of his children got up and talked about memories of their Dad, and a lot of the grandchildren did also.  It lasted a long time--over two hours--with lots of songs too.  But, I was so engaged that I didn't even get fidgety.  Which is unusual for me.

I want lots of music at my funeral too.  I have a song picked out for a duet to sing, and 3 songs for the people to sing.

The first song we sang at the Memorial service was, "Jesus Loves Me."  I just might add that to my funeral.  
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Not too much else going on.  Creating pedigrees for genealogy.  Making copies of a book for other family members.  Running up to town to get new inkjet cartridges, the usual household chores and...
I am really having fun with this cross stitch.  It is going to be just the right size for over the back door.