A Good day

Today, I am so grateful my life.

====================

I started getting ready for bed last night, but instead, feeling a bit uneasy, I just turned off all the lights and sat in my recliner and thought.  

Sometime in the next two hours it occurred to me that I needed to forgive my cousin.

I know how this works.  I forgave my Daddy, and know I only remember my childhood as a good one.

I forgave my step-mother, which I thought would be the hardest thing in the world to do, but I did and rarely think of her abuse.

I even have forgiven my second ex, who abused me physically and emotionally every week and even tried to kill me twice in the three years I was with him.  I rarely ever think about him and it's like those three years didn't even exist in my life.

They say that holding a grudge against someone doesn't hurt them, it only keeps poisoning you.  I have found that to be true.

So today, I drove up to church for my Daddy's cousins funeral and when I saw my other cousin walk in--the one I have been avoiding for the last two years, I walked up to her with a smile on my face, gave her a big hug and asked if I could sit with her during the funeral.

We had a wonderful catch-up chat before and after the funeral and held hands through part of the funeral.

The funeral was lovely, by the way.  Our minister knew the cousin very well and told delightful stories about him.  At the end, there was a small military service.  It was very touching and when they played taps, I got a few tears.  This woman who never cries--especially not at funerals.

I think my woman cousin may have had an inkling about things that have happened as, she asked me about Mark and Pam and Karen and all Karen's kids, but oddly, she never mentioned Jennifer or Jennifer's children.  Oddly I say because her girls and Jennifer are the same age and used to play together all the time and my cousin "usually" asks about Jen first.

We parted with hugs, not knowing if we will ever see each other again, and I wished her a Happy Birthday.  Her Birthday is March 18th.  I did not send her a birthday or Christmas card last year.

You know, it is really dumb of me.  I can't tell you how many people I have counseled on forgiveness.  My all time favorite example is the part of the Lord's Prayer, where it says, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive our trespassers."  To me the "as we" means, in like manner.

God will forgive us the same way we forgive others. God will judge us in the same way we judge others.

Heavy stuff.  God doesn't hold a grudge and it is not right for me to either.

===============

In the course of the last three years, quite a few friends have asked me why I always seem so happy.  Well--I don't know...I just am.  I am truly happy with life.  Content, peaceful and just happy.  I smile all the time, even when I am in the house all alone.  I get the biggest joys out of some of the simplest things.

Being born into a Christian home isn't always easy.  You hear of people having conversions--massive emotional events that change their whole lives.  The Born Again thing.  I never had that.  God and Jesus were a daily part of my life.  

When I was small, I thought they were relatives of ours!!  When I was about three, we had a family reunion.  Mother told me that my grandparents, aunts and uncles and all my cousins were coming and we were going to have a big table with food outside, under the big maple tree.

When everyone had arrived and we were ready to sit down to eat, my grandfather said a prayer.  I kept looking around and finally I leaned over and asked my Mother, "Where is Jesus.  We should wait until Jesus gets here to say the prayer."  I think she thought I was not making much sense, small person that I was.

God and Jesus have always been in my life and it was no big deal.  I talked to them while I was playing or, riding my bike on a nice day, I'd say, "Thank you Jesus for the sunshine."  No, I couldn't see them, but I knew they could hear me.

I have never in my entire life blamed God for anything bad that has happened, but I always thank Him for good stuff.  Even when my Mother died so young, I never thought that God had taken her. 

When Fred died, friends and neighbor's could not understand why I was so "happy".  I just felt so grateful to God for bringing Fred and I together, that there never was a thought that God had taken him away from me.  

You just can't blame God when someone dies in an accident, or is taken for some unknown reason.  Fred brought on his own ill health by drinking a lot when he was younger and smoking for well over 50 years.  I don't know why my mother died from some unknown cause, there must have been a reason.  When one of my best friends was killed in a car accident, it wasn't God's fault.  My friend was being reckless and went through a stop sign.  I believed all this, all my life.

I also don't believe that EVERYTHING is in God's plan.  I just can't believe that whole pre-determination thingie.  God has a good plan for us, BUT so much of the route we take in life is by our own choices and free will.  By our own decisions and choices, we can mess His plan  up, big time!

He gave us that free will.  If tomorrow, I drive out of here and don't stop and look before I go out onto the busy road that runs in front of this park and get myself killed--that was my free will, not God's.  I suppose He could stop the accident from killing me, but sometimes...God just let's free will prevail.

Anyway--I didn't really have my "come to Jesus" moment until about seven years ago.  It wasn't a big event.  No one was jumping up, raising their hands in the air and yelling, "Thank you, Jesus!", as I crawled and wept rolling down the aisle.

I was sitting outside, on the front porch, in the dark on a warm summer night, thinking about my Daddy who had died two weeks earlier.  I was crying because he had never said he loved me.  Never really acted like it.  Then a thought came into my mind.  I realized, my Daddy was probably severely strict because he thought it was the right way to raise a daughter.  A "good girl."

He had no siblings.  He had no knowledge of how his mother would have raised brothers or sisters.  I was not born with a "How To" manual.

I just said, "God, please forgive my Daddy and clear my heart and mind of any bad thoughts I have of him."

I woke up the next morning feeling happy and "lighter" than I had in decades.  Since then, I have forgiven every person I thought had wronged me in any way.

I actually "get it" now and it HAS made my life so much better and my emotional state so much more peaceful.  It's quite amazing, actually.

You don't even have to tell the other person that you forgive them--they probably wouldn't know what you were talking about.  They wouldn't remember or may not even know that you felt they had wronged you.

You just forgive them in your own mind.

======================

Sorry for the sermon.  I certainly am not telling you how to live your life.  I've heard a lot of people say, "Well I can forgive, but I will never forget."  Well--no--that isn't how it works.  I have found, at least for me, if I truly forgive them, I do forget. :-)

What in this world are you ever going to benefit if you hold onto grudges?  When you die, if you believe you will go to Heaven and be judged, God isn't going to ask you to testify to how your neighbor, or husband, or cousin lived their life.  He is only going to ask you how you lived yours.  

If He looks at the chapter in His book entitled, "Judith" and He sees in there, "On April 12, 2013, Judith got angry at her cousin and still hasn't forgiven her," He is going to bring that whole thing up and say to me, "Well, I got upset with you on the sin you committed on April 17, 1957 and, although you've asked forgiveness, you hold grudges and I am going to judge you in the same way.  I can't forgive you for that.  So...I guess you can't come in."

====================

I had a really good day today and I'll just bet I sleep a whole lot better tonight.  Eh?  

Mid-Week

Today, I am so grateful that I was able to get out to get groceries.

I am also grateful that what I figured my groceries would cost, came in at $20.00 less.

===========================

Do you see any chicken in there?  No!  Chicken nowadays has too many growth hormones and liquid injected in them to make the breast plumper and larger.

Do you see any pork in there?  No!  I do not like pork--except for that box on the bottom of Jimmy Dean already cooked microwaveable sausage links.

Do you see pie and ice cream?  Yes.  Yes!  And a big bag of Cherry-Berry frozen fruit.

I also got a pound of ground beef to make more chili.  I think I'm good for a few weeks.

=====================

Daughter Karen and her hubs Mark picked me up at 6:30 and up to the funeral home we went for visitation for my Daddy's cousin--my 1st cousin once removed--or second cousin as I called him.

Youngest daughter, Jennifer had been there early and gone.  She had Bible study tonight.  Bible study?  I hope they were studying about forgiveness or honor they mother, or something like that.

Oldest daughter Pammie was there waiting for us to arrive as she had something to give to Karen.  My sister Susan and her hubs Chuck were also there.

As was my other cousin that I tried to avoid.

I talked with my cousins son and some of my other cousins--3rd cousins they.

The visitation WAS in the same room where Fred's funeral was held, but...it's been three years and it didn't feel bad to me.  Plus my cousin in his casket didn't look at all like Fred, so....I was good.

I sort of danced around the room, but when I sat down to take the pain off my back, the cousin I was avoiding came over to give me a hug.  I didn't even get up out of my chair.  I am so not nice!!

I think the reason it hurts so much is that of all my cousins, she is the only one my age.  All my Daddy's cousins were much older than me, but her mother was 42 when she was born and we are only 18 months apart.  She was out to visit my Grandma with her mother ( grandma's sister) and we spent a lot of time on the farm together or I'd get to go into the Big City and spend a week with her.

She read something on my blog--I was not even aware she knew I had a blog--and took it upon herself to call my step-brother-in-law to tell him to check it out.  He in turn told my daughter Jennifer--who was also unaware I had a blog-- to check it out and what I had written was something mean about my step-monster who had died.  It embarrassed Jennifer in front of the step-family, which in turn caused the rift between her and I.

I so want to call this cousin out, but I just can't.  I am not a confrontational person and do not like discord.  She would probably just make it worse by contacting Jennifer and try to patch things up and...that would just make Jennifer madder at me.  

So-----------------------

The funeral is tomorrow at my church.  None of my kids will be there as they all work.  My sister is on the 3rd day of a migraine type headache, so they may not be there either.  I will go and represent my Daddy's side of the family, and everything will be just fine.

You Guys!!

On this 14th day of Lent, 

I am so grateful that I don't have to go outside!  

We are having snow, snow mixed with rain, freezing rain, icy mixed with rain and then, just plain rain.  

Weird weather day here in the great Mitten State.

==============================

Judi, with an "i", can you tell me where you live?  Are you my visitor from New Jersey?
I have a regular visitor from New Jersey and since my youngest and her family are probably going to move there this summer, I'd like to know who that reader is.  Okay?  (My nickname is Curious George).
=============================

Well, I didn't expect so many comments yesterday.  I wasn't fishing for comments.  It wasn't a "mandatory comment day".  I wasn't being a --what is that term I've heard--"Comment Whore"?  But, I am so glad to see so many.  I made a list about a year ago, I asked you to comment your name and where you were from.  I actually made a list in Excel and if I see an area and don't remember who lives there, I check my list.  I know--I am obsessive about things weird.  So--even if you don't comment, I know who's been by to see what nonsense I posted.  That makes me smile too.

I woke up kind of late this morning--primarily because I had a fitful night, for some unknown reason, and didn't get to sleep until nearly 4:00am.  I struggled to get out of bed at 9:30 am--Buddy was nudging my face with his cold, damp nose and Maggie was nibbling on my hand.  Once I open, even one eye, Buddy sees me and jumps off the bed and he and Maggie start their meowing and crying and if they could humanize their sounds it would be something like, "Mom, get up.  We are starving.  You sleep too late!  Get up!  Get up!" and when I swing my feet out of bed, they start their dance around my ankles as we all move toward the kitchen.  I don't even have time to go potty, until they are fed.

When I do get out of the bathroom, they run ahead of me into the bedroom--they know my routine so well.  This morning I turned left out of the bathroom and headed into the computer room.  Completely threw them off and they followed me, meowing all the way.

I looked out the front windows and saw Dar, walking up my driveway.  I ran to the front door to unlock it and let her in.  For the next hour, she regaled me with--I don't quite remember what, but I know there was talk about Jesus sitting in the chair by her bed and how she woke in the night and was scared and he "talked" her down.  

Every day, I am so grateful for Jesus, but especially on days that He talks Dar down before she decides to come over here.
====================

I have been a bit down the last couple of weeks.  A lot of that is sadness over my blogging friend, Balisha.  Hard for me to accept that she is dying.  She is such a wonderful gardener and had made plans for what she was going to plant this spring.  How can her flowers still come up and bloom without her there to take care of them, post photos of them and post about them?  It is not fair!!

I remember being so angry the month after my Mother died and the 500 Tulips and Daffodils she had planted the fall before, all came up and looked beautiful.  I wanted to take a weed whip and go out and cut every one of them down.  How dare they come to life when my young Mother was dead?  So angry at those dang flowers.
===========
Well--maybe I will feel better tomorrow after I get out and socialize.  My Daddy's first cousin and best friend passed away last week at his winter home in Florida. He was 94.  His visitation is tomorrow night at the same funeral home where Fred was (I will try and not think about that--hope it's not in the same room) and his funeral is on Friday at our Church.

The first time I've gone to Church since June 1st.  So--I will get to see our Minister, and the ladies who will put on the funeral meal.  Also get to see relatives, that I want to see--the cousin that betrayed me, I will try and stay away from.  Perhaps, tomorrow night I will also get to see Jen and the kids.  I wasn't going up to the visitation, but Karen called and wanted me to ride up with them.

Then my curiosity overtook me, thinking that the kids won't be at the funeral on a work-day, so I will go. I will take any chance to see Jen and the kids.

Is that awful of me to be happy for this chance?  I mean it's a funeral after all.  I should be sad.  Can't quite be that way.  Cousin Billy had a great life.  He was the most non-judgmental person I ever met.  A nice Christian Methodist man.  He was 94--it will be a celebration rather than a sad occasion.

I still might be an awful person though--to attend the visitation ONLY to have the chance to see my littlest grand kinders.

Hello. Is Anyone Still Out There?

Today I am grateful for March and Sunshine.
For a friend who took me out to supper
and
another Dear Friend who sent me two
books of stamps.
I was down to one stamp in this house
with 4 birthday cards and a bill to mail
tomorrow.

======================

Why don't people post on their blogs anymore?

I have my favorite blogs on the right side-bar on my page and when the author of that blog, writes a new post, it pops up to the top of my list.  I get so tickled when that happens.  Sometimes there are three or four new blog posts and I love it.  I read and comment.

At the bottom of that list of blogs are some that are still active, but no posts for months or even a year.  That makes me sad.  I know those authors are still "alive" as I see them on Face Book.  They might post a status or share a link.  That just leaves me cold.  There is nothing in those short comments that has any real meaning.  I want to know what they are feeling.  What is going on in their lives.  What they did that was funny, or not funny or just plain every day stuff.

I miss them.

So many on Face Book now, just share links.  Link after link, but no message.  I am guilty of this too, I know.  So many links that it takes me an hour just to read the new ones on my home page.  Nothing of substance.  I guess in this fast paced world, that is what we are left with.

So many of these "lost" bloggers come to my blog to read my posts, I see they have visited by the counter, also on the right side-bar, that shows the city they have come from.  They don't often leave comments.  I get so much out of what my reader's comment.  I can't begin to tell you how many of those comments have helped me.

My blog is just mainly about my ponderings on how life seems to me or is to me.  I write these thoughts down to get them on paper, where I can read them, later if need be, and to elicit a comment that can help me sort out my ponderings.  

Many times, the comments have given me more things to ponder and at times, have helped change my mind about how I thought about something.  Many times, just the support in the comments, are so helpful.  Many times, the commentator has written that they feel the same way and that let's me know, I am not alone.  I am not going nuts, if someone else has experienced or feels the same way.

I HAVE to write!  I HAVE to reach out to people.  I live alone and some day's do not speak a word.  Most days, do not talk to another human being.  I guess my blog posts are my way of communicating and the comments are answers back from friends.

It is the same with reading others posts.  I feel almost like we are sitting and talking.  I am listening to you and then I "talk" back to you.  I sure miss the ones who have quit posting.  I sure miss the ones who come to visit, but leave no comment--kind of like you came up to my door, but didn't bother to come in for a chat.

My front door is never locked.  Come on in sometime, even if just to say "Hi."

Thanks Alice :-)
===============
Christmas 2015 Projects:

It's The Simple Things

I think, if we think about it, it's the simplest things in this life that have meant the most to us.  At least I am finding that out.

Today, I am so grateful that while my brother-in-law was at Lowe's shopping for whatever, he dropped my sister off here and she and I had an hour to chat and laugh and giggle, and catch up.

Simple?  Yes--and it just made my whole weekend!

Then Pammie called.  We also laughed and joshed each other back and forth.  She and I are so alike!

Simple?  Yes--and it just made my day!  

Grateful

Today, 

I am very, very grateful that the sun is shining brightly, 

steaming in through the windows to warm my house 

AND 

that today, 

is the last day 

of the longest month in the entire year!

February 27th

Truly Grateful

Today I am so grateful that after two weeks of communication via e-mail and 

one week of talking on the phone, 

I took one more chance and,

finally accepted a date with a guy named Fred, 

10 years ago on this day.

==============================

Yes--it took me a while!  I had sworn off on men--nasty critters that they were.  A couple of long-term relationships, that started off nicely, but always,  ALWAYS, it ended through no fault of my own.

I could not take another chance.  I had become comfortable living on my own and then...coincidence or God happened, and quite by accident this, what appeared to be a really down to earth, nice man, found me.

By the end of that first date, we were both quite smitten with each other.    Perhaps because we had communicated so much before we met?  We already knew each other's history and at least, didn't have to go through all that on the first few dates.

I have been grateful ever since and still am.  How lucky I was that, for the first time in my life, there was someone who really loved me.  The first man I ever completely trusted.

Grateful

Lenten Gratitude

Today I am so grateful that I filled up my car with gas yesterday.

===========================

I had to run up to Wal-Mart today.  On my way, I passed the gas station where I got gas yesterday for $2.29 a gallon.  It was the same.

Forty minutes later, on my way back home, I glanced and noticed, gas was now $2.49 a gallon--same station.

Pearl got the surgeon's report on her uterine tumor that was removed.  Benign!!  I am grateful for that too.

It's A Shiny Day

Lenten Gratitude--Day 8

Today I am grateful that the sun is out, 

the wind is down and even at 19 degrees, 

it wasn't too awfully cold while I filled up my car gas tank.

=====================================

It was stated in the news that Livingston County is the richest county in Michigan.  Which makes me ponder on why I am living in this County. I knew within three months of moving here that doctor, dental, medical, etc. rates where higher than the County I had just come from.  Gas prices always seem to be a bit higher here also.  Home prices certainly are.

The crime rate is extremely low, which is a good thing.  We have a population of 190,00 in this County.  96.8% White, 0.6% Black, 0.9% Asian, 1% Hispanic.  Which may explain the low crime rate. (That sounds racist, doesn't it?).  Well, truth is, as truth is.

I have lived here 12 years and I have seen perhaps a half dozen Blacks.  Of those half-dozen, five are either doctor's or attorneys, working at the U of M in Ann Arbor.  I saw a black lady in Wal-Mart last week and it sort of startled me.  I guess I have become accustomed to living in a "white" world.

Before I moved here, I lived in Saginaw and before that, I worked in Flint.  The population of white to black in those two areas is about 60-40.  We all moved around together and thought nothing of it.

Wouldn't it feel strange to be in a big Wal-Mart store and be the only person of your race?  She didn't appear to be uncomfortable, but was in a hurry.  The Wal-Mart is just one mile off the expressway--perhaps she came from the expressway and just ran in for a few items?  I don't know, but I saw other's reactions and they seemed taken aback too.  It is that unusual, in this County.  Anyway, she was behind me in the "20 or less" check-out lane and I told her to go ahead of me,  She had a lovely smile and said, "Thank You."

Where is this going?  I have no clue.  I live in the richest County in Michigan and it is 96.8% white, the crime rate is very low and I wonder if that has anything to do with it..  (There I go again.  Sounding like a racist!)
==================================

Today I went to the Food Bank.  What a disappointment.  Perhaps because it is late in the month?  They had no ground beef--in fact they had very little meat at all.  I did get a can of beef with juice that Pearl told me she got last month and it was very good.  I also got an onion, a potato and some baby carrots.  I will put them and the beef all together and come up with something like stew.  I came up to the scales with only 21 pounds of stuff.  I am allowed 60#.  Although I never get that much.

I went up the road a bit to the gas station and filled up my car--only $20.00.  It used to cost $40.00, so I am liking the low(er) gas prices.

Then, I was going on up the road to Wal-Mart, but...I just didn't have it in me.  My stomach has been iffy for the last two days.  My neck, shoulder and arm are paining me life crazy and my back hurts.  So, I just came home, put stuff away and sat down in my chair with my hot Rice Sock over my shoulder.

I have been sleeping so well.  The doc recommended 5 mg Melatonin, a natural hormone that our bodies lose as we age.  I take it at bedtime and it really works great.  However, I have been waking up with the bad neck and shoulder ache.  Time to try a different pillow, I guess.

Dar came over this morning--at 9:30!!!  She liked my doctor!!!  She hasn't gone to a male doctor for years because she doesn't trust men and she doesn't like to be touched, by anyone, but especially men.  She is still concerned with the cyst or whatever it is in her groin.  He didn't think it was serious enough to do surgery on it and cautioned her that surgery might make things worse.  It is probably caused by adhesion's that she has from previous surgeries.  So, he is going to contact the surgeon she had gone to, and research a bit before he decides if it might just be better to go in and aspirate it.

He did get her scheduled for her colonoscopy and blood work.  She didn't quite take him into her confidence yet about her mental issues--she said, "I have to trust him more."  I wondered how it was beneficial to go to a doctor if you DIDN'T tell him everything, but then...that's Dar.

Today, Ginger was very happy with the peanuts I put out for her and Smokey and Baby Boo.  I did see them, but only got a photo of Ginger.

More Records Broken

Day 7 of Lenten Gratitude.

I am grateful that the tank of gas 

I put in my car on December 29, 2014

has lasted almost two months.

=====================================

It is becoming an old story--even for this woman who likes winter.  It's like a record, playing the same thing over and over.  "A record low temperature in Michigan again today.  Wind gusts of 35 miles per hour expected."

I was pondering last night, "what if the weather kept on like this until April?  What would we all do?" 

The only reason we can stand this kind of weather is because we BELIEVE that spring will come again--that tulips and daffodils will again bloom in our gardens--that a warm zephyr will once again caress our cheek.  

Will we complain in July when record high temperatures hit?  Of course we will!!!

At least with my Ott floor lamp over my head many hours a day, I no longer suffer from S.A.D.  February used to be a killer for me.  I was deeply depressed most of the month.  Not any more.
===========================
So tomorrow I have to go to the Food Bank and then up to the gas station.  No one is here to offer to stand out in the bone chilling winds to fill my car up with gas.  It is not good to have barely any gas in your car in these low temperatures.  If there is the least bit of moisture in the gas lines, it WILL freeze.  Then I have to go to Wal-Mart and use my $16.00 worth of food assistance to get stuff to go with what I get at the Food bank to make meals.  I am down to $53.13 in my checking account.  Gas will cost me nearly $40.00.

Can March 3rd, Social Security day be coming any time soon?  YES IT CAN!! Thank You, God!!

I am inside today crocheting slippers.  :-)  "I'll think about tomorrow, tomorrow!" 

Slow and Quiet

Day 6 of my Lenten Gratitude

I am grateful for heat, electricity and bright sunshine

Slow and quiet--What else can be expected of a day when the awaking temperature was MINUS 17 and the high temperature is Plus 10--above zero?  To look outside, it looks like a nice warm day--the sunshine is so bright and warm coming in the windows.

I did some laundry, bedspread, sheets and jammies.  Cleaned up a bit--I still haven't figured out how one person can make such a mess in this house.  She tends to leave dishes sitting in the sink when the dishwasher is only three feet away!

Worked on my slippers I am making for next Christmas.  The pattern isn't all that difficult, but the way it is written is.  I have made one pair of slippers THREE TIMES and I think I finally have it figured out.  Lordy!!  I have done more "frogging" (rip it, rip it) than I have crocheting.

I spent some time praying, specifically for people I know or people of people I know.  Pearl had her BENIGN vaginal polyp removed today at noon.

I thought Dar had the day off, but her car has been gone all day, so far.  She was supposed to call me last Thursday, after she went to (my) the doctor for the first time, but she hasn't called.  She probably hated him because he didn't pooh-pooh her.

A neighbor up in Byron wanted to know how to get a hold of Bethie.  He lives across the road from the house where she grew up.  Someone is remodeling the house and found a letter from 1939 and he wanted to let Bethie know.  I sent her an e-mail to tell her, with his phone number.  I hope that letter is something exciting and she has inherited a million dollars stored away in an unknown bank account.

I put a lot of "stuff" out in the squirrel feeder yesterday--stale donuts, stale crackers, dried cranberries, corn and peanuts, and today, Smokey and Ginger stopped by a couple of time.  I looked out and there was Baby Boo (tiny red squirrel) on the porch floor eating whatever they threw out of the feeder.  Lots of birds lately, but no Gold Finches.  I haven't seen any in months.

I did not watch the Oscar's last night--haven't in a couple of years.  It has all become so political.  Why the award recipient can't just get up on stage, thank their parents, their agent, director and perhaps God and then say Thank You and leave, is beyond me.  Now, they have to give a dissertation about their agenda and causes.  Who gives a rat's patootie! 

Most of the actors I still recognize have aged to the point where they look almost scary--thinking of John Travolta or the women are either bone skinny, dressed in see-through gowns or are so fat and stuffed into their gowns they look ridiculous.  I swear to you, I saw a photo of Oprah and her push-up bra had her boobs flowing way up just short of her chin.  Attractive!  NOT!

However, last night Downton Abbey was marvelous.  Ladies dressed and acting like--ladies!  Shocking!  I can't believe this year's season ends next Sunday.  Why don't they have it showing for 3 months?  Now we have to wait until next January for the 6th season.  I love this show, 

because.....

I called to make an appointment to go to the Food Bank, Wednesday morning.

I expect tomorrow will be much the same as today.  There is something comforting in that fact.

Our Sweet Friend

Balisha/Pat.  

http://simplybalisha.blogspot.com/

She is where she wants to be and looking forward to her next journey.

"God be with you, 'til we meet again."

I Am Not Missing

I forgot that it's Friday and I usually post every day except the weekends.

Not much today.  It was 25 degrees below zero this morning.  I was so grateful that my car started because I had to make an emergency run to deposit some $$ in my checking account.  While I was out, I decided to get some Diet Pepsi, so that I won't have to go out until way next week.

The low gas gauge on my car is lit, so I guess I won't be traveling too far until March 3rd when my SS comes in.  Oh--yes--I also got my car washed, so I expect that all the doors will be frozen, but at least my car looks nice without all the salt and slush on it.

I woke up this morning with a bit of swelling and soreness in my jaw--right below where my tooth was excavated, the core built up and temporary put on for my crown work.  I think it is just from where I got the Novocaine--she had to give me a double shot because that dang toothie didn't want to numb.  The tooth is not hurting.

I called my orthopaedic surgeon to get a refill on my Amoxicillan for all the dental work coming up.  I have to take it because, if I got an infection, it would settle in my hips and that would not be good.

Karen called me, as she didn't have school today because of the cold--most schools in the area are closed.  There was no reason for her call--she just wanted to chat.    She asked me about my tooth and I told her.  The conversation went sort of like this:

"Mom, can I help you with that bill?"

"Nope.  I got it.  My new insurance will pay five hundred toward it.  I had a credit with the dentist for one hundred twenty dollars and they gave me a ten percent senior discount of one hundred twenty three and I can handle the rest."

"How much is left for you to pay?"

"Four hundred and sixty three.  Instead of sending them thirty dollars every month for credit for any dental work I need, I will just send them fifty and have it paid off in eight months.  "

"Well, let me help you with that.  What is the name of your dentist.  Isn't she up in Howell?"

"I can't remember her name. "

"Mom!"

"Hey--I got it just fine.  Remember I told you they cut my gas bill to forty a month and my light bill to forty five.  I have enough now to get along."

"Oh, Mom!"

"Hey.  Keep your money.  I might need a loan if something has to repaired on my car.  Now, what are you going to do today to have fun on your day off?"

I have a couple of really wonderful children.  Actually, I have four children and two are wonderful.  Two outta four ain't a bad percentage!!

The Winter of Our Discontent.

The minute I made my decision not to go to the Old Gal Pals lunch today, I felt such a sense of relief.  I'm sure I would have made the drive okay, but....#1:  I wasn't really in the mood and #2: I wasn't really in the mood.  My car was born and raised in Wisconsin.  It even has a cord to plug-in overnight to keep the engine warm--I've never used it, but they did when it lived in Wisconsin.  I have never, ever had my car not start in sub zero weather.  She has lived outside all her 17 years and I suppose she is used to it.

I drove her Saturday, Sunday, Monday and yesterday--in very cold conditions and she ran pretty well.  So I am sure she would run nicely today.  But then--I got into the "what if" mode of thinking.  I drive through the middle of no where to get up to The Farm or to the lunches.  What if, a hose blew and the care overheated and stopped while I was on one of those roads?  I'd either have to walk to the nearest house or wait until some farmer came along to help.  I'd have to call a tow truck to come pick up the car--can you imagine what that would cost?  So--I stayed home today and I am happy about it.  If I am not at the lunch, they can discuss me and that will give them something to do.

Other than missing a visit with my little sis.  We were going to play a couple of games and I was looking forward to it.  I imagine her house would be pretty cold.  She is one of those who loves the hardwood floors, slate tile in the kitchen, high ceilings.  Those kind of rooms feel cold to me every season.  I like carpeting on my floors.  Right now, it's 8 below and I'm sitting here with bare feet and quite comfortable.

Isn't it weird how home styles change?  I remember when we had wood floors--only the people with money had beautifully carpeted rooms back in the '40's and '50's.  I can remember how thrilled my mother was when they finally could afford to have the living room carpeted and the bedrooms.  Heavenly!!!  

However, I had already married and left home and was living in a little house with tile on all the floors, single pane picture windows that froze inside, halfway up the window and any bed that was shoved up next to the wall, had frozen blankets on that side.

Now, everyone is jacking the ceilings up to 15 feet plus, putting in hard floors and other hard surfaces.  They like the open floor plans.  You couldn't shut up and unused room if you wanted to.    Their rooms echo and are cold feeling.  If they have a fireplace it runs constantly and most have little ceramic heaters placed in every room.  And they wonder why their heating bills and electricity bills are sky high.

When this country runs out of oil and gas gets to be $$$$, people will start building smaller homes.  Cozy will then be the style.

Oh well.  Whatever.
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 Today--I puttered.  I pulled everything out from under the kitchen sink.  Threw away nearly empty bottles of cleaner, washed the vases I store under there, got everything organized and back together.  20 minutes, tops.  Then I put a new filter in the furnace and cleaned out the humidifier and put in a new filter.  Another 20 minutes, tops.  The new filters will get me through until spring.  I need to mop the kitchen floor, but that will have to wait until--well--some other day.  I also need to pull out the refrigerator and clean behind and under it.  I haven't done this in 5 years!!!  I bet I'll even find Fred's dog, Tootz fur still under there.

I did three loads of laundry, cleaned up the bathroom, relaxed watching my Soap and took supper out of the freezer to thaw.

As usual, Merle came down at 10:00 to haul my garbage pail from the porch to the street and then at 2:00 he came back, brought up the pail and my mail.  I have not stuck my nose outside all day--except to thank him.

We used to get Alberta Clippers, snow and cold.  Now we have advanced to the Siberian Express, more snow and colder, cold.  That curious jet stream just loves to dive further south than it ever has.  Such fun.

It is starting to snow a bit and once again, tonight, we are expecting record setting low temperatures.  I don't care!  My pipes are all wrapped with heat tape.  I have excellent insulation in the floor, roof and walls.  I have double pane windows with the Argon gas in between the panes.  I have a new furnace that keeps it a cozy 73 in here during the day and it was a shiny day.

I live a charmed life!!

YAY!! My World is Once Again Bright

Yay!!  My Sally pal is back on FB and also blogging.  I never thought anything was wrong with her, I thought it was her daughter or grand daughter, and I knew she would be devastated and unable to write about it.  Yet, My Pal Sal was the one in the ER and then hospital--with no phone.  I admit, I went a bit over board amok, because I get that way when someone I know is missing.  If you ever want to know how to search obituaries from Florida, or how to go on friends, of friends, of friends Timeline on FB to see if anyone has posted any news, just ask.  I know all the angles!!
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So today I went for a practice run for my Coronation!  I am getting my Crown on March 11.  I do believe it will be diamond encrusted for the cost of the thing!!!  BUT my new Medicare Advantage Insurance plan will pay $500.00 toward it and I already had $120.00 at the dentist, so instead of sending in money every month to built up credit, I will send in money each month to pay for my crown.  I won't have to build up credit with my dentist anymore because my insurance includes two free cleanings, one x-ray and one dental check-up each year.

Egads!!  The drilling that goes on to get the filling out and the tooth shaped and then re-built for the crown.  Two hours in the chair ANd tonight, my Tinnitus is really loud because all that loud drilling noise exacerbated the problem.  BUT  in a couple of weeks, I will have two teeth, next to each, other crowned, with crowns above them and---I AM GOING TO EAT POPCORN ONCE AGAIN!!!  I need three more, but those will come next year or two--if I live long enough.  If I don't--I am going to Heaven with at least 5 really strong, good toothies!!
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I am NOT going to the Old Gals luncheon tomorrow and so will miss a visit to my sister's.  We are going to have record setting low temperatures.  My old car runs a bit ragged in this cold weather and I do not want to take the chance of having my car break down while I am out driving in Butt Fu  Boonies with no cell phone and waiting in below zero temps for help to happen along.
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Ash Wednesday.   I do not get ashes on my forehead, although I think it would be cool to do so.  I do not give up anything for Lent.  Instead, I try to take on something new to do each day.  Like notes to people or an encouraging e-mail or something to make someone smile.  My biggest thing this year will be to get to church every Sunday.  I have become a lazy church person and haven't been since last Mother's Day.  Shame upon my little head!!!

Actually, I did try to give up something for Lent.  When I was in the ninth grade a friend asked me what I was going to give up for Lent.  I replied, "Algebra!"  Unfortunately, the Algebra teacher overheard my comment and was none to happy.  My Mother heard about it and although she tried to look stern, she got to laughing so hard that she couldn't carry off the scolding.

Life is good!!

Nanook of The North

Nanook of the North reporting here.  Our snow is no more than normal for this area, but the bitter below zero temps are not normal, as they are lasting day, after day, week, after week.

Not much of a concern for someone who stayed inside and just soaked all day.  I say "soaked" as I was in my recliner, crocheting slippers and soaking up the artificial sun from my Ott floor lamp. How nice it is!

I had a nice day--my Comcast bill had gone up, so I called them to see how we could get it back to normal.  They are having older people leave so now they are being quite proactive to keep us happy.  They have finally come to realize that TV and Internet is about all the entertainment some of us have in our lives.

At first the lady told me of a promotion which would include Encore movies--total $130.00 a month.  I have been paying $125.00  I told her that I didn't really want the Encore channels.  Was there a possibility to be set up with Digital Start Up XF Triple Play like I used to have.

Well, by doggies, sure enough.  AND a two year price freeze.  $99.99 a month and with taxes, total $119.00 a month.  I get all the channels I have always liked and really none of the ones I never watch.

Happy dance!  Plus a credit on next months bill of $30.00 to make up the difference I have to pay this month.
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I used my last quart of home made spaghetti sauce and made spaghetti tonight and then--because everyone needs a treat now and then---

Not as good as home made, but then again--good enough.  I do love anything cherry!!!  By the way, I have heard from family members that the spaghetti sauce this year was wonderful!!!  (Whew)
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Did you know that the director of Downton Abbey is killing off the dog named Isis?  Last week, Lord Grantham noticed she was just laying around.  This past Sunday, she has cancer and only hours to live.  C'mon people!  This show takes place in 1924 now.  In 1924 there was no problem with anyone having a dog named after an Egyptian goddess Isis.  No one in 1924 ever heard of ISIS or ISIL.  We just have to be so PC, that I guess, we have to re-write history to make sure we don't offend anyone.
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Still no word on FB or her blog from out Dear Friend Sally.  Every now and then an idea will come to my find and I will rush to this computer to check something else out.  Nothing!  

It Was A Nice Day, Until.............

Conversation:

"I haven't heard a thing about Jeff, so I can only assume that he is still in rehab."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Yes.  I just wish there was someone I could talk to....or read a book on what a Mother is supposed to do when her child is in drug rehab.  What am I supposed to do when he gets out?  How it feels.  I need to read something that someone who has gone through it writes about."

"Oh---that's easy.  I can search and find you any number of blogs written by Mothers about that very thing."

"Oh no.  I don't trust blogs."

"You don't trust....what do you mean?"

"You never know who could be writing them."

"It's like a journal.  People write what their day is like, or how they are feeling, or how they cope with problems. They have Christian blogs, they have gardening blogs....they have blogs about everything."

"Yeah, but what if...what if it's a man disguising himself as a Christian woman and writing a blog?"

"A what?  Okay---let's say a man is writing a blog and his is pretending to be a Christian woman..which I can't even imagine happening, but what if it did.  How is HE going to hurt you?"

"He could figure out where I lived.  You notice, I don't leave many comments on Face Book."

"You don't have to comment on a blog.  You can just read it for whatever benefit it brings.  It's like reading a book."

"I don't care.  I don't trust them."

"Ah---well---okay then."

I should have figured out by now that Dar is also paranoid, but I guess I'm naive'?
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It is bitterly cold here, as you all know, but it has been sunny, which, to me, makes up for it.  I went to Michael's yesterday and Wal-Mart today.  I DID wear my coat, but it wasn't buttoned up--no hat, gloves or boots.  I like the really cold, clean, crisp air on my skin and in my lungs.

We had a lot of snow on Saturday, but Neighbor John came along Sunday mid-morning and cleared us all out.

Tomorrow is a stay at home and "soak" day--just sitting in my chair and crocheting.  I have a newer cute pattern for slippers and I am making them out of cotton yarn (which wears like iron) for the girls for Christmas.  I made a pair for me last year and they are so warm and comfy and don't wear out, so I thought what a good gift.

I'm not drifting or meandering, I'm just soaking in relaxation. :-)

Worried

I am extremely worried about my blog friend Sally.  She last left a post on February 6th.  That was also the last time we saw her status posting on Face Book.  I have sent her e-mails and FB messages, as have others and so far--no reply from her.

Last night I got so worried just thinking about it, that instead of shutting down my computer and going to bed at 11:00, I started searching for answers.  When I get something in my mind, especially like this, I get compulsive or like a dog with a bone, and I won't let up until I figure it out.

First, I went into her FB list of friends and checked a few of their pages--nothing said about Sally.  Then I found her daughter, Patti's page and checked that out--her last post was back in July.  I knew her grand daughter's husband's name, so I went to his Timeline--his last FB post was on February 6th too.  Now I was really getting worried.

Then I remembered--her grand daughter Brittney is on my friend's list.  So I put searched Britt's name and her page didn't come up.  Strange.

Then, I went into my own Friend's list, clicked on Britt's picture and it said, "This account has been deactivated."

Really scared now!

I wished I could remember some of the names that had commented on Britt's status, so I could find their Timeline's and check to see if they had posted anything about her.

One last attempt, I went back into Sally's Timeline and read down some of her posts.  Back in the fall, I remember things she had posted and some had comments from Britt.  

I found a status, Sally had posted.  Down in the comments, Sally had said, "I don't know, Britt." and yet the comment from Britt was not there.

If her account has been deactivated, than any comment she had made on ANY ONE'S FB status would be gone.

Brittney's FB account has been deactivated.  Her mother's, husband's, Sally's accounts are all there with no posts since February 6th.

I have only one conclusion to make from this.  

My mind is just going crazy now!  She has three little kids.  Her only sibling was killed a few years ago.  She is her mother's only child and Sally's only grand daughter.

I just want to get in my car and start driving south to Green Cove Springs, Florida to find my friend, Sally.

Please God, take care of Sally and her family. 

Wind Chills -30 Degrees

Even a rotten Starling needs food.
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At midnight Saturday night:  LIVINGSTON COUNTY

...WIND CHILL WARNING IN EFFECT THROUGH NOON...   TEMPERATURES AT MIDNIGHT WHERE BETWEEN ZERO AND 5 BELOW ZERO...WITH WIND CHILLS AROUND 25 BELOW ZERO ACROSS MOST LOCATIONS. ALTHOUGH WINDS WILL CONTINUE TO SLOWLY DIMINISH OVERNIGHT...TEMPERATURES WILL CONTINUE TO FALL...BOTTOMING OUT BETWEEN 10 TO 20 BELOW ZERO AROUND SUNRISE...WITH WIND CHILLS OF 25 TO 35 BELOW ZERO. ANYONE THAT MUST VENTURE OUTDOORS TONIGHT IS URGED TO COVER AS MUCH SKIN AS POSSIBLE WITH APPROPRIATE WINTER CLOTHING.