title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Stressful Week

I've missed a couple days of not only posting, but reading any of your posts.  Sorry, hope to get to you tomorrow morning.

Tuesday I had to run up to the bank and stop and get a half gallon of milk at the little market.  When I came out of the market, put my car in gear, backed out and applied my brakes--the pedal went right to the floor!!

Have you ever had that sort of--feeling of fear (?)--my mid-section became ice cold and my heart felt funny.  No brakes equaled, money (I don't have) spent.

I managed to get the mile home--thanking God that this hadn't happened while on my way up to the Girl Friends luncheon.  I backed into my parking pad, came in and called the tow company.  They were out within the hour.

Exactly three months to the day 9/15/15, when I pulled into my driveway, my radiator lost all the fluid and I had a tow.  $86.50--thank goodness I have road service on my car insurance.

The service garage called in a couple of hours.  The rear end work I needed on my car, have been saving my money for and planning on getting one in March, needed to be done NOW.

Not only the brake hoses had ruptured, but the metal brake lines (that hold the hoses), had broken and probably tore the brake hoses.

Lucky for me, I just got a new credit card with 0% APR for a year and a $3,500 credit limit.

I picked my car up this late morning.  Too late to get to the Old School Pals Christmas luncheon.  The total charge on my new card?  $999.69.  $60.00 under the original estimate.

This lovely new piece of furniture I have so wanted for 3 years and was going to put on my new charge card, to pay off and build up my credit, is now riding on the underside of my car!!!!!

Plus, I haven't heard from any of my kids or my sister and I just am feeling so depressed and very teary!   I sat in the dark last night and had that old familiar of "why am I still here?" feeling.  Really, right on the edge of the deep, dark hole of severe depression.

It will be better after the Holidays.  Won't it?

I was very shaky today.  I don't know if it is from the stress of the car or just the feeling of being unwanted and ignored by family.  I used to be their center, especially at Christmas time and now--just an after-thought.

Oh well.  Nothing I can really do about it.  A Pity Party should only last for 15-30 minutes and this one is going on for over an hour.

Onward--ever forward!


  1. Car problems -- or house problems, or health problems, or any big-ticket serious problems -- are horrible any time, but at the holidays they can really push you over the edge. I'm glad the damage wasn't any worse than $999.69, and I'm glad you had the means to get it done timely, and most of all I'm glad you weren't hurt in an accident due to faulty brakes, or broken down on the side of the road or something. That at least is a relief. I hope you don't sit in the dark anymore, Judy. Your family's behavior says nothing about you and everything about them. I hope you have a merry Christmas despite depressing events and bruised emotions. xoxo

  2. I'd like to second everything that Jenny said above. Any time something big ticket comes along to mess up our budgets, it's stressful. But it could have been so much worse and that's something to be thankful for. You could have killed yourself or someone else with faulty brakes! $1,000 is a lot of money but it sounds reasonable for what they did to your car and it's not like you didn't know it was coming. Plus you had your backup credit card to get the work done. That's huge considering where your financial life was not so long ago.

    Your family is your family and not so different from others. They never give the older generation as much time and attention as we want. Hang in there. Things will look better in a few days.

  3. I'm sorry about your car but at least you can know it's safe now and you didn't get hurt! I'm sorry about your family, too. People are so busy these days and time does have a tendency to get away from us! I'm sure you will hear from them soon about plans for the holidays!

  4. Oh yes
    our children not like what we have experienced in our lifetime
    and everything is different and we just need to except
    After the holidays it will be weeks until I hear from family again but then they all work and busy with their families.
    I know about unexpected expenses with - 2 crowns on teeth
    and a/h unit I am afraid will crash - has been a problem
    every since installed 6 years ago - should last much longer.

  5. I guess it's different nowadays? I never would have gone even a week without seeing my Mother or Grandmother, no matter how busy I was. Even the 12 years I lived 50 miles away, I still made a once a month day trip to visit my Father and Step-mother, knowing full well my time with them would be filled with hurtful words toward me. I don't expect visits from my kids, but how long would it take for them to make a phone call once in a while? Just to check and make sure I am still alive. This leads me to the feelings that it will all be easier on them when I'm dead. They wouldn't have to even think about it anymore.

    1. I don't agree with that theory, Judy. More than likely when you're gone they'll be dealing with guilt. And, that's a terrible thing, but the good news? You and I, both, had no guilt when our parents were gone. In my opinion, we both did all we could for them. Also, I know I wouldn't see Britt and the kids every week for a couple nights sleepover if I didn't now live with Patti. Oh, I'd see them one on one like I did with Britt and Ben. But, please try to cheer up and hopefully after the holidays you'll feel better. Prayers for you, my sweet friend. xoxo

    2. Sally is right. The guilt will eat at them from the inside out.

    3. But I don't want them to have that!!!

  6. So sorry, Judy. At our age, the mere thought of a money crisis of any sort, can put me into the deepest pit. I can really understand that sick feeling. Before I could even be grateful no one got hurt, the pang of the money worry makes me about to lose my lunch. May this all pass quickly, and you be able to feel peace over the holiday and on.
    I live with my son, and we speak maybe once every two weeks. It makes me see how hectic and demanding their life is. My DIL takes time out of everyday morning and night to sit and chat with me, but I see how hard it is for her to even keep up with her own parents. My son is terse at best, so I see when one adds on the 80+ work week hours, he really shuts down. I know in his heart he is caring and loving me.Hugs to you.

  7. Go volunteer somewhere...get out of that house! (((HUG)))
    I know the feeling of forgotten...I try to just throw it to the wind...it's such a useless emotion!
    Love You Friend!!

  8. It IS that time of year. But especially difficult when expensive things happen. I say have a pity party every day for half an hour! Write it down. Then let it go until tomorrow when you can pick it up and add to it!

    I thought Pammie was hosting Christmas Eve this year?

    1. That should be fun! I rarely hear back from Jesse but I just keep texting and leaving messages. I know he gets them ....

  9. The important thing is that you didn't have a nasty accident in your car. I lost the brakes coming down a long hill once and 'free wheeled' into a town centre. It was the scariest experience ever. I hope that you feel better now. Jx

  10. Oh, Judy. I'm sorry. Thank goodness you were close to home, and thank goodness you were not hurt. Distance with family is so hard this time of year. Be easy on yourself. Thinking of you.

  11. Are you doing better now, Judy? I hope so.

  12. Oh, my. I lost the transmission in my car once, and that was that. When you lose a transmission, you don't go anywhere. The good news was that I'd just driven in from Baton Rouge, and was off I-l0, nearly home.

    The best investment I've ever made is AAA. I've been with them for ten years, and the $55 a year has unlocked the car four times, jumped a battery twice, and provided towing twice. Given that the towing bill would have been $600 with the transmission, I'm still ahead of the game.

    I'm so glad no one was hurt.

    Not having any family left, save one aunt and three cousins, has some advantages. I don't have to put up with the family conflicts that affect many of my friends. On the other hand, there are other issues -- like filling up that empty spot that family used to fill. No situation's perfect, that's for sure. I'm hope you're feeling better.

  13. I hope you're still reading replies on this thread, because this EXACT SAME thing happened to me this year, on my way up to Maine. Pedal to the floor, the RV barely stopping. Good Lord. This was on the Mass Pike, and I was going 65 mph! My heart was just where yours was - with that ice cold, quaking feeling. Same exact issue as yours. I didn't blog about that?!?

    The mechanic that patched it up said it would last until I got home. So I only missed the first two days of my camping trip, and it was blissful. Then....Uh, huh. You guessed it. 46 miles shy of home - ALMOST there - the rest of the brake line broke. I knew by this time that cars have a tiny bit of braking power left in the front brakes, so I drove verrry carefully for another 38 miles to my local mechanic, just 6 miles shy of home. I slept in my RV right in his lot, until he opened. Yes, it cost a pretty penny to fix. But buying a new RV is out of the question for me right now.

    Life is interesting, isn't it? Glad you made it O.K. Hang in there, Judy. I firmly believe we have angels looking out for us.

  14. I'm sorry about your car troubles. Life can be going along swimmingly and then.....car troubles screw the whole thing up! I'm just glad you weren't hurt and were able to get them fixed.

    I understand your depression about your family but I hate to see you feeling so down. I like Donna's suggestion that you volunteer somewhere, maybe the food pantry one day a week or something. It would be good for you and you would be giving back a little and helping others who are going through tough times.