title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Saturday, December 26, 2015

No Expectations

The trick is...go in not expecting anything.  Just go with the flow.  Have no anticipation, other than that YOU are going to enjoy the day, no matter what.

Riding out to Pam's with Karen and part of her family, I mainly kept quiet, listened to the conversation going on around me and answered when a question was directed to me.  I did break into "Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house", about half a mile from Pam's, because to Karen and me, it WAS grandmother's house and when she was little and all of us in the car, we'd sing that on the way to this very same house.

Then the kids starting singing it with, "to Aunt Pammie's house we go.", which was perfect.

As I walked into the living room, my son immediately got out of his chair and came to give me a hug.  That was not expected.  He usually sits and waits for me to go to him.  I think perhaps, when you come to the full realization of your own mortality, it changes you.  He seemed to be much more invested in the family festivities, than he has other years past.

On occasions like this, our family doesn't talk of unpleasant things.  There is no gossip.  There are no snide remarks.  If you sit very quietly and listen--there is a constant undertone of giggles coming from all over the house.  Someone is always laughing--always.

I heard my sister and Karen giggling out in the kitchen.  I heard my grand daughter Helene giggling with her sister over on the other side of the living room.  Pam and Cindy were giggling out in the dining room.  My SonIL and his two boys, giggling, while they were laying under the table, trying to get the puppy to sleep and I even heard my son (who never giggles) talking with his young niece Maddie and laughing.

I just sat and listened and smiled and tried not to let the moisture in my eyes, creep down my face.

It was all so perfect and wonderful.  Even though Jennifer's family was missing, as my sister said yesterday, "There wasn't enough room for seven more young kids running around anyway." (Her son's family also not present).   Not the way I would have looked at it because there is always room for that, in my opinion, but.................  
Susan and Chuck came down Christmas Day and we had a good time.  We played three games of "Skip Bo"--a card game and one I had never played, thus I won all three games.

With just the three of us, we COULD talk of matters--Jennifer's moving, Susan's daughter-in-law INSISTING they go on a cruise (the 3rd this year) at Christmas time because, she loves cruises because she sits by the pool all the time and makes lets her husband take care of the kids.  They are not allowed to bother her during the day.  They do have supper together.

So yes--Susan and Chuck and I had our gossip then, while playing cards, but, it too was a wonderful time.  I have noticed that as my sister ages, her always happy attitude is waning.  She does have her cranky moments--quite often.  She has become critical of others.  I think perhaps, her moving to The Farm has been a disappointment.  It HAD to be.  She had planned this move for 20 years.  I doubt it has lived up to her anticipation and expectations.

I had the front screen door open most of Christmas Day.  It was 53, sunny and quite warm inside.  Chuck took a picture of Susan and me, on my porch, in back of the Christmas wreath, clad in our light weight tops with sleeves pushed up.

Today--it is cold and bleak.  I have no expectations.  Day by Day--whatever comes.  

It is "boxing" day.  To me that means, Christmas decorations are boxed up and put away.  Only the last decade have I done this, but.....I like a nice, clean, neat house to usher in a clean, neat New Year.


  1. Skip-Bo is a fun game. My husband's family used to love playing it around the holidays. Haven't played it since he died.

    I packed up all my Christmas stuff today except for the greeting cards. Traditionally I've done it on New Years Day in the past.

    I'm glad you enjoyed your no expectations party and visit with Susan the next day.

  2. I'm glad you had such a nice Christmas. I read your previous post, too. it sounds comfortable, and nice. I do miss having family, but there's certainly nothing to be done about that. If I could bring them all back from the dead, I'd be a rich woman, and I'd split it with you!

    I'm not one to take decoratons down. Heck, I just got them up! Sometimes I take them down by New Year's, and sometimes I wait until Epiphany. Whatever feels right. This year, I didn't go all out, so it can be put away pretty quickly.

  3. So glad you had a very merry family gathering! I leave my decorations up ... usually til the Wise Men came ... but since I don't even have a nativity scene there's really no reason to wait. But I enjoy looking at the lights and the room looks so dreary when those things are put away. I used to use Kate as my excuse for decorating each month ... I think it was really for me!!!

  4. My Mother loved Christmas!! She always left our (real) tree up until Epiphany. She also used to put the Wise Men far from the Nativity and every day, move the Wise Men a bit closer--I used to do that too, when the kids were home. My favorite things was to sit in the darkened living room, late at night, with just the tree lights on. Lay on the floor under the tree and look up through the branches. Haven't done that since Fred died.

  5. I'll probably take the tree down tomorrow if this UTI is better. I'm sorry hear that your sister seems a bit down; will say a special prayer for her. Glad she and Chuck were with you yesterday. :)

  6. Love all the giggles you heard on Christmas. My brother and I got to talk the day after Christmas, just the two of us. I just wasn't feeling the joy, so I was faked it, for the sake of others on Christmas day. My brother told me exactly what you wrote. "The trick is...go in not expecting anything. Have no anticipation." He DID leave out the rest of your wisdom: Just go with the flow. Make sure that YOU are going to enjoy the day, no matter what.

    I'll make this my motto, going forward.