While they were busy, I walked in the fields and around the barns and part of the woods. For some reason, it was very emotional for me.
After we left, we stopped in at Pammies. While they were all in the living room talking, I sneaked the basement door open and sniffed. It smelled just like it did when I lived there. Then I went outside and into the barns--they smelled the same as they did when my Grandma lived there too.
We got into the car and I had tears in my eyes. So many memories. Deep sadness that I didn't live there anymore. Sadness that my divorce probably caused me to not be able to live there still.
Karen said, "Are you okay, Mom? You haven't said a word since we left Pam's"
"Yeah. I'm just tired." I kept my face turned toward the window on my side of the car.
"Are you crying?"
"Nope. I was out in the barns and I think my dust allergy is kicking up."
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By the way: My grand daughter Helene is a devout Catholic. When I saw a picture she posted on FB of her and the boyfriend, I clicked onto his page. His family is Orthodox Jew.
From my experience, these kinds of relationships usually don't work out.
I can see why the smells of at the farms brought emotions to the surface. They are more powerful than sights, they say. Missing what could have been hits us all from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI think an Orthodox Jew and a Catholic can make a marriage work, especially in this day and age. Here, a priest and a rabid even have joint services 3-4 times a year. I've seen them both speak and they are great with their message of acceptance.
My Mother used to say, "God created humans, animals, birds--everything. But, even though they are both birds, Robins and Sparrows don't mate. Cats and dogs, don't mate. Your marriage will be easier if you marry someone of your own beliefs, race, religion, politics, even class. " Of course, there are exceptions, but I think from what I have seen in my long life, she was pretty much correct.
ReplyDeleteI pray if they get married, it will all work to the good.
DeleteIt's so true that home is where the heart is. The farm and you have the most affectionate bond; I'll bet this special place remembers you and misses you, too.
ReplyDeleteI probably would be very emotional, too! I think love can overcome any religious differences.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was 16 a Jewish boy asked me to go to the movies with him...We were visiting my Aunt and Grandmother in CT at the time. The boy's family were kind and he was a doll but when my Aunt found out he was Jewish she pitched an unholy fit! We are were Catholic and she said it Just wasn't done! My Mom told her to go lay an egg and mind her own business but I still didn't get to go...I think the parents talked (via my Aunt).
ReplyDeleteIf nothing had been said, we would have gone to that movie, had a fun time then I would have gone home to Texas...oh well, I'll never know.
I think God puts the people we need in our paths...good or bad.
Sorry you cried sweet friend......must of been hard for you.
hughugs
Despite the naysayers and against both of our parents wishes, my college sweetheart and I married. We were happily for 36 years before he passed away. I was Catholic. He was Jewish. I really don't think that religion makes or breaks a marriage, nor does color, nor does sexual orientation. Love, commitment, compatibility and respect make all the difference between a good marriage and a bad one.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that trip made you sad, Judy. I've often wondered why you don't have that house, not that it's any of my business, but I think you pretty much covered it by the "divorce" statement. You know, I've never lived on a farm (with the exception of a couple years in Washington state) but all of my mom's family did, and I used to love going over there especially to visit with my grandmother. It's very nostalgic for me still even though I haven't been in quite some time.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Memories. So many and I agree that special "smells" are very powerful. Who knew what your divorce would cause .... but at the time, it's exactly what you needed!
ReplyDelete