Weird. Weird. Just Plain Weird!

Sometimes Dar brings it on herself.  She is very quick with saying critical, biting things.  She is sarcastic.  I understand making sarcastic comments can get one in trouble--been there, done that!

I found out why Connie took the kids and left early.  One of the grand kids said, "I'm glad you haven't moved, Grandma."

Connie said, "Grandma can't sell this place and move.  My name is on the title."

Dar replied, "And one of these days, Grandma is going to give your mother some money and get her name off the title.  She needs money right now, more than she needs the title to this place."
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I look around at families I know and I see why the people I know, act like they do.  There is an underlying problem from childhood--usually perpetrated by a parent.  It seems to come down from the generations before and continues.

Dar's mother was very cool to her, could be biting with words at times.  Because Dar's mother's mother was like that.  Dar is like that.  Three generations that I know off and Dar's children are like that.  4 generations.

Pearl's mother left when Pearl was 6 years old.  Left her with her Dad, who was quite critical of her.  

Pearl is very critical of her two daughter's, and they of her.  

I was there last evening and Pearl's daughter Marge came to visit.  They were at each other immediately.  Pearl telling Marge, "Why would you come by this late in the evening?"  Marge asking about them getting new faucets and Pearl had written down the figures on the un-printed edge of the newspaper and Marge saying, "Why didn't you write the estimate on a piece of paper where you could read it?"

Pearl said, "I can understand it, Smart Mouth."

Marge said, "Well explain it to me."

Pearl tried and couldn't figure it out or remember.

Marge said, "A lot of good those notes are gonna do you now."

I got up and left.  I could not stand the disrespect back and forth.

It's like a way of communication that has come down through the generations to the present people.  I wonder why Dar and Pearl don't stop it from continuing, because now I see it passing from their children onto the way the younger ones talk to their mothers.
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So--I have been in the dumps for the last couple of weeks.  I don't know why.  There is no reason.

I YEARN for physical closeness.  I miss touching.  I just sat and cried the other day because my arms felt like they ached to hold a baby.  Any baby!  I just long to hold a little baby--a new born or up to 3 months old.

Right now, I so miss the physical touching of a man.  I long for a hug from a nice tall man.  When their arms just wrap around you and hold you, tightly to them.  The sound of their heart.  The way they smell.  I want to be enfolded in a nice, long hug.  

I want to hold a man's hand.  Just sit and talk while holding hands.  

Sometimes I look at John and wonder what it would be like to kiss him.  I miss kissing.  What a disaster that would be!  

I'd just like to go to sleep with a man, spooned behind me so I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, feel his arms around me and hear him breathing.

That's quite impossible because I don't know any man that would accommodate me without wondering what was up, wanting more or thinking I was interested in him.  I am NOT interested in HIM--I just long for a man--a tall man--any man.  

I need a paid man who will come to my house, sit with me and watch a football game, talk about the game, laugh, hug, cuddle, kiss and then stretch out on the bed and sleep.  One who does that as a profession and knows, nothing is meant by it.

And I need a baby.  Not for very long--just a couple of hours, so I could hold it and smell its baby smell, and let it fall asleep on my chest while we rock in my chair.
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I gotta get out of this mood!

I don't want to get stupid and kiss John and kidnap a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Local elderly woman kidnaps baby and baby's grandfather.  News at 11:00!