ARGGH!!

I caught a ride into Brighton with Dar this morning and picked up my car.  This time, after she dropped me off, she didn't get lost getting back to work.  The Meijer store, where she works, is on the same street as the service garage, where my car was, but last time, she got lost going back!  It's all of four blocks!

She is more than just directionally challenged and on the ride in, I discovered why.  She keeps up a non-stop conversation.  She never looks at side streets, or buildings for reference points, she barely sees the traffic around her.  So, when she gets somewhere, she has no idea where she is, how she got there and certainly no idea how to get back.  Kind of scary!!

<"In which direction does the sun rise, Dar?"
"That way."
"and you are driving into the sun, right?"
"Yes, and it's bright."
"Okay, so if you are driving into the sun, are you heading east or west or......"
"I don't know!">
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Anyway, my car is home with two new Serpentine belts under her hood and ready to drive her engine!  So--after two months I have, new front brakes, pads and rotors.  A new radiator.  New belts and hoses.  My list of five major repairs, is down to two...AND, I have paid for next months rent on their establishment!!!!!
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I didn't tell you that Sunday I went up to Pearl's.  You know, she has been bugging me to set up an e-mail account for her, because.........she wants to order things on-line and they need her e-mail address to send the confirmation.  I haven't wanted to do it, but....................

I tried and tried.  After all, we both have Comcast and we have to have an e-mail account/address with them.  Every time I tried, I'd get an error message saying she already had one.  So I asked pertinent questions of her like, "when you started with Comcast, did they give you an e-mail address or did Marge (her daughter) set you up with one?"

"I don't know.  Maybe.  I wasn't in the room when they did all that computer stuff."

"Do you have a paper where she or you might have written it down.  That and your password?"

"No.  Not that I remember."

"Do you check your bank balance on-line?"

"Yes--all the time."

"Well, in order to do that, they would request your e-mail address and password."

"They would?  They never asked me for that."

"Who set up your account information, so you can log in to check the bank?"

"Marge, but she never told me I had an e-mail address or needed a password."
<ARGGH>

So I gave up on that.  Her computer was also running slow and she is without any anti-virus protection.

I did a disc clean, but nowadays, that doesn't do much for these newer machines.  I did not do a registry clean, because you can get into all kinds of trouble with those.  I have done it on my machine, but I wasn't going to do it on hers!
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Yesterday she called.

"I can't get into Face Book.  They want my user ID and password."

"Well, just type that information on those lines in that little box."

"I don't know what information they want."

"Your user identification or name and your password."

"I don't have any of that."

"When Marge set up your Face Book account, she put in your user name and  you chose the password 'tiger09', remember?"

"Oh, that password has been changed.  It's now 'tiger11" "

"Okay, put that in."

"It won't work.  Somebody messed up my computer.  You were the last one to work on it......"
<AHA!>

"I think we should take your computer over to the store, where we bought ours last year, and have Holly put Outlook express on, and the virus protection program she put on it when it was new and clean up your hard drive."

"Okay...when?"

"Wednesday, after I get my car back."
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So today at 2:00, I picked up Pearl and her computer and off we went.

When we got to the store, I explained what was going on.  Holly said to Pearl, "Who is your service provider?"

"Huh?"

I answered, "Comcast."

Holly:  "Well, if you have Comcast you automatically have an e-mail address.  You don't need Outlook, you just go to the Comcast website and can read all your e-mails there."

"Huh?"

Holly:  "What is your e-mail address at Comcast?"

Pearl:  "I don't have one."

Judy: "The e-mail I last knew for Pearl was, pearleo7794@comcast.net"

Pearl: "Oh, that's been changed.  Marge set me up a g-mail account last month."

I spun my head around and looked at Pearl.  "Then you do have an e-mail account?"

Pearl:  "No!  You don't hear very well, I said, Marge set me up a G-MAIL account, not an E-MAIL account." She looked at Holly,  "I keep telling her, she needs a hearing aid!"

I turned back to Holly, "Just install Bitedefender, clean up her hard drive, get all those icons off her start-up bar and put a g-mail icon on her desk top, so she only needs to click it to get to her e-mails.  That should do it."

Holly turned to Pearl, "Is that what you want done?"

"I guess so."

I said, "As soon as we get your computer back and hooked up, from then on, Marge will have to be your computer go-to person.  She probably knows more about computers than I do and....it isn't wise to have too many people messing on your computer because....one of them won't know what the other has done and that only causes more problems."
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We both bought the same computer July 2014.  Four times in the last year I have either heard. "I hate this thing that you made me buy."  or "What did you do to my computer, it won't work."  Or words along those lines.  So......................

Not my circus.  Not my monkeys.  AND, this time I mean it!!!!!
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Oh yeah, as long as I am on a Pearl rant...I gave Pearl some Purple Hyacinth Bean Plant seeds.  I planted mine and the plant has flourished.  Hers have not, so I heard, "Something is wrong with those seeds you gave me.  What did you do?  Keep all the good ones for yourself?" 

I noted that she had them planted in a shady spot and they need sun, but she informed me that they got some late afternoon sun, so I didn't know what I was talking about...........................

Because, after all, as she will constantly tell me, she worked in a florist shop arranging flowers for three months, so she knows everything there is about plants!

How in the world has she been able to function in her life for seventy-seven years?