title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Monday, September 21, 2015

Poor Darlene!

I feel really sorry for Dar.

She got notice two weeks ago that her daughter Connie, who accused her mother of child abuse and then walked out and moved to Indy, with the four grandchildren, was coming for a weekend visit--Friday night through Sunday afternoon.  They wanted to stay at Dar's house.

The daughter and the grand kids lived with Dar for two years when she first moved here.

Dar got all excited and I kept warning her to "don't get your hopes up for a reconciliation",  "don't go into this with expectations", "Connie may still be nasty to you, so...just enjoy the kids."

Well Dar--because she is Dar, went nutsy-cuckoo and transferred $1,000 from her savings account to her checking account and went all bat crazy.

A re-do of her small bathroom, down by her extra bedrooms.  Vanity, toilet, flooring.
New linens for the two bedrooms and curtains.
$300.00 worth of food because, "each kid wants something different."
All sorts of planned activities, on and on.
New Mums for her garden.

Connie was supposed to arrive at 8:00 pm, after Dar got off work.  Connie showed up at 2:00 and they all trooped into Meijers and up to Dar's check-out lane.  She was busy and could not talk.

One of the kids parked their car in my driveway, which was fine with me, but the girl never even came up to the door to say "Hi", even though I knew her quite well when they lived here.

The kids spent the night Friday night, then Dar made them a huge breakfast with all sorts of Belgium waffles; strawberry, blueberry, plain, poached eggs, sausage links AND patties, a large fruit bowl, cinnamon rolls and special coffee.

Dar's Dad came over.  He had specifically requested Connie and the kids come for a visit.  At 94, he wanted to see them again.

I saw cars pull away at 2:00 on Saturday, figuring they were all going out for lunch or a movie or some other activity.
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I wondered what was going on Saturday evening, when only Dar's car was there.

I wondered what was going on all day Sunday, when only Dar's car was there.

I almost walked over, but figured I knew what had happened and Dar probably needed at least a day to get out of her hyper-panicked, hysterical, depressed mode and a bit back to normal.
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She came over this morning.  

First off--it threw her when they arrived early, wanted the key to her house and were there for six hours before she got home.

#2:  Her oldest grand girl, Zoe, who parked in my driveway, brought her boyfriend and they took a bedroom and slept together.  Dar was ticked off big time.  Connie knew her mother wouldn't go for that, but didn't say a word until it was time for bed.

#3.  Her youngest grand girl, Hope, at 7 years old, whom Dar had practically raised from birth, acted like a snot and wasn't very receptive to her Grandma.

#4.  She hardly recognized her middle grand girl, who is quite tall, looks and dresses like a boy and has declared, at 13, that she is a Lesbian.

#5.  At the breakfast table, the oldest grand girl was talking about the new panties they make for when you "menstruate."  You don't have to wear a tampon or pad.  They are similar to the new incontinence panties and cost $35.00 a pair.  All this in front of the boyfriend.  Dar was embarrassed out of her mind!

#6.  At 1:30, Connie, stood up and stated, "Well kids, we came to see Great Grand Papa and we've seen him.  Let's head home."  and off they went half an hour later.

No staying through the weekend.  Connie never addressed her Mother, only made indirect comments meant for Dar to hear.  
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Needless to say, for Dar, it was an awful visit.  She said, "I just kept repeating in my head, ' Enjoy the kids.  Enjoy the kids.' " 

"It's a good thing you didn't come over yesterday," she said.  "I was in a terrible state and you would have wanted to take me to the hospital!"
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I know how she felt.  We tell ourselves not to have any expectations, but there always is and when things don't turn out like we think they will, it is a terrible blow to our emotions.

WE ARE THE MOTHER'S!
WE ARE THE GRANDMA'S!

We think they should respect us, love us and treat us nicely.  Very often, it doesn't happen that way.

9 comments:

  1. Even though I don't have children or grandchildren, I know what it's like to build up your hopes only to be disappointed and being disappointed by family it the worst of all.

    Yuck on the panties for periods. Someone will have to wash them out!

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  2. Oh, how sad! It breaks my heart how people don't value the very people who gave them life and cared for them as children...

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  3. I agree - poor Dar! How terrible to be treated that way,
    used is the word I come up with. And, that's so awful. :(

    xoxo

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  4. Oh poor Dar. What a disappointment for her! Shame on her daughter and grandchildren. One day they will be grandparents too!

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  5. omgoodness, what a terrible visit!!! poor thing!!!!

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  6. Such a terribly sad thing for Dar to experience. That daughter is just proliferating another generation of ungrateful rude children. You are so kind, Judy, to help see Dar through what must be a painful time.

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  7. Children live what they've learned. We all reproduce ourselves, for good and for bad. As for Dar, she needs to learn how to say a single syllable: "No." Then follow through, and enjoy what's left of her life. Who needs crass, rude, discourteous, disrespectful children and grandchildren? No one. Until she stands up to them, it will never change. And maybe not even then. I pray she finds the courage to push back, and take control of her life.

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