What If?

Today's temperature was: 82F/27.7C

Today's humidity was: 74%

Sunny

I know that you have read some of my posts on here about wanting to move "back home"...the possibilities, the dream.  Fred and I had the plan, my Daddy approved.  We were going to put a double wide manufactured home, on a basement, with a garage, in the field south of the Big House.  Then Fred had his heart attack and it was better for us to stay near hospitals, doctors, emergency people.

I have been praying about it for the last year, telling God what I would like, asking if it would be prudent, if it would be possible.  If it is in The Plan, to put the knowledge and opportunity in my path.

My daughter Pammie lives on Beard Road (in the house where she was raised).  My son lives on the farm about 1/2 mile west of her, on Beard Road.  My sister lives about 1/8 mile south on Vernon Road. 

Well--guess what? 

The little house on the corner of Beard and Vernon Roads, MAY be for sale.

My great grandfather once owned the land it stands on.  It used to be the school house where my Grandma taught, and where my Daddy went to school until high school.  I used to play in the empty school house when I was a kid.

Mark's farm (where I grew up) is to the top left

Pammie's farm, (where I lived) is under the USA

Susan and Chuck's farm is to the south, that dark square spot is their pond.  As you can see, there aren't any houses

around for acres and acres.

Just the right size for me

I even like the address: 7001 Beard Road

I have lived at 6847 and 7542 Beard Road

The people that own it live just up the road, on the farm west of son Mark's.  I've known them all my life.  They have been renting it out, BUT--on my birthday, my brother-in-law Chuck mentioned to me that the owners are moving. He wondered what they were going to do with the house--which now stands empty because the renters are gone.

Susie said, "Wouldn't that be fun if you lived there?"

Karen said, "Mom, you ought to check into it."

I said, "Oh the traffic on Beard Road is kind of busy...isn't it?  They seem to fly down that road now...don't they?  The house is awfully close to the road...isn't it?"

Susie said, "No, it's not too close to the road.  There isn't that much traffic."

Karen said, "Mom, it's just your size."

I know--they were just talking, but  WHAT IF?

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What really scares me is--it was my first awakening thought this morning, BUT--what if I am going into the manic state of Manic Depression?  I have been depressed.  I have had the feeling that I have something left undone in my life.  I can't figure out what that might be.  I have assumed it was my own death.  I have recently spent a lot of money on-line.  In fact, I ordered something at 3:00 a.m., it seemed like a good idea.  The next morning, when I got up, I immediately got on-line and canceled the order.  Whew! I recognize mania when it walks into my head.

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i was in the house once in 1985.  I know there is the eating area, and living room window facing Beard Road.  The kitchen window faces Mark's (west) and the bedroom window faces east.  I don't know if there is a basement--I think perhaps a half one--like a Michigan cellar.  They have built a garage and some sort of building on the back, so maybe lots of storage?  I think it only has one bedroom--I can't quite remember.  

Yesterday, I was confined to my house--every time I stepped outside, someone set off a Thunder Bomb.  Then, last night at midnight and 1:00 a.m., as I was trying to fall asleep, the next door woman, Tami, who lives between Pearl and me, opened her door and threw out a string of fire crackers, then she went out her back door and did the same on Pearl's side, then we could hear her cackle. AND she knows I have a problem with sharp noises.  Then my sister called this morning to tell me how lovely yesterday was for them.  So quiet and their "fire work" display, was the hundreds of fireflies flickering in the lawn and fields.  

The first thing I thought of this morning was---what if this is a coincidental opportunity?  What if this is a God Whisper?  What if this is meant to be?  What if is something I am thinking of to get out of being bored?  What if it is a manic thought?  Scary!!

I'm too old to do it.  But people my age move all the time.

It's too far from hospitals.  It would be 19 miles from my doctor and dentist.  It takes the ambulance about 20 minutes to get there, instead of the 10 minutes here.  BUT, I am in really good health.  My Daddy lived there until he was 92--the locals have lived there all their lives and they don't seem to have a problem.

Can I afford it?  Therein lies the big problem!!  So I checked out a mortgage calculator to see--if I got a 15 year fixed mortgage, it would cost me $340.00 a month.  My rent here is $357.00

The heat and lights wouldn't be more then here.  I would have to pay for garbage pick-up though.

I wonder what property taxes are on it?  Couldn't possibly be anymore then what I paid when I lived where Pammie lives now.

What about upkeep?  What if it needed a new roof.  I have a new roof here.  I have a new bathroom here.  

I wouldn't be able to have cable or high speed internet.  I would have to get a dish and the kind of hook-up Susan has--it seems to work all right for them.  It wouldn't possibly be anymore then what I pay here for cable, internet, phone.  

I would have to pay more for gas for the car.  I would have to drive a greater distance then here--2.5 miles to Wal-Mart or Meijer, here.  But Susan and I could go shopping together.  I'd ride with her one time, and I'd drive the next.  

I would be farther from my grandchildren--that I rarely see, but within a 1/4 mile either way from two of my kids and my sister .

I could go back to my life-long church--my home town--all the school activities.  Maybe I could even play golf once in awhile on the golf course I started at in 1967.  

I could walk in the woods I use to play in when I was a child.

When I woke in the morning and looked out my bedroom window, there would be no other houses in the way to viewing Pammie's house.  Out the kitchen window, I would look across the acre field and see Mark's.  Looking out my living room window, I would see Susan's house--nothing but fields all around me!

Mark or Chuck would mow my little lawn for me.  I would have room to plant an Eastern Red Bud tree and...PUT IN NEW FLOWER GARDENS!!!

I could sell this place to the park.  I wonder what they'd give me for it.  Probably no more then $8K.  Which would be down payment on the house.

I have a FICO number of 782, so I have good credit.  

I would be only three miles away from the cemetery.

I WOULD BE HOME.

So--not knowing anything--I sat down and wrote a brief note to the owners---just to see.  JUST TO SEE!!!

What do I have to lose?  What might I gain?

HOME--where I could live in peace and quiet for whatever time is left to me. 

I will go very slowly.  I will not ponder on it all the time!  Everything would have to fall into place very easily, for me to know that it was the right thing to do.  

It's up to God and this time....I will not do anything unless and until I talk to many people and see what they think.  This time I won't just "bull" ahead and then be sorry.  

We shall see, but......what if?