Another Good Day

The high temperature today was:  82 degrees

The humidity today was 62%

Sprinkles this morning, sun this afternoon, cloudy by 6:00 this evening.

I do a lot better when the humidity is around 35% LOL

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Well--I did it.  Got up at the crack of eight o'clock and even with a tummy ache, I made it to church at 10:30.  And glad I went.  Last week, Pearl said that the sermon was on Construction--we have so much on our local streets right now.  Today, the sermon was on Detours.  All pertaining to things we go through in this life.  BOY--I have had a whole lot of Detours--that's for sure AND a lot of Construction--which is a good thing.  

Then there was a bit about how we are more formed by the Detours in our lives.  Forged by the "fires" we go through.  Certainly true in that respect.  As the minister said this morning, "If you sit in a lawn chair, under a shade tree with a glass of iced tea, you really aren't being tested."  For sure!  Like raw metal, when go through the "fire" is the dross sloughed off us and we become purified and able to be more compassionate, empathetic and helpful to people who are going through their hard times.  

I just thought---Forged stronger, as steel is in the forging process.  (Profound, right?)

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I didn't know how to be a widow.  I could give you all kinds of relationship or divorce advice--how you will feel, how to get through it. But not being a widow.  

For a time, I thought I was going crazy.  It was only finding others, through reading the Widows Speak Up blog and going through the Grief Share sessions did I learn that I was perfectly normal.  Others were feeling the same way--being in that fog that at times can be so crippling--weeping and sobbing all of a sudden--not wanting to be around people.  

Going through hard times is when we grow--or so "they" say.  I would prefer to stay an innocent child actually, but--once you go through something like that--anything else seems like no big deal!  Yes--it is hard watching your parent slip away and die--or a sibling--or my best friend <sigh>. Worse to me would be having a child die.  

Having your nearest loved one die is really horrific!  Usually you have been married to them most of your life.  It is like having a vital part of your body amputated.  You feel off balance.  As Jean said, "Something is always missing."  

You have such pain and it's not phantom pain like after an amputation, it is real pain--not just physical, but even worse--mental and emotional pain.

I remember my daughter Karen asking me last Christmas--"we can't have Christmas Eve at night this year, Mom.  We have to have it in the morning.  Is that going to upset you?"

I replied, "After what I went through last New Year's Day--NOTHING upsets me anymore!"

Kind of true--whatever your worse "fire" has been--anything not as bad, is like--piffle.  The one good thing of it is--if you have come through the worse "fire" of your life--you may be a bit singed and smelling a bit burnt, BUT you came through and you know, if hard times come again--which they of course will--you will get through it and survive!  I seem to have developed a "whatever" attitude and trust me--I never had that attitude before Fred died.

Sometimes it can make you roll your eyes in irritation when you hear others complain about such insignificant ( to you) happenings in their lives, but--you gotta remember--maybe what they are going through is a real "fire" to them?

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger," is so very true.  I don't know who said that, but whomever it was, sure knew what they were talking about.  Must have been through a "fire" of their own.

Okay--I looked it up.  Nietzsche--I should have known.  He had a lot of good quotes.  I always liked Nietzsche--I shouldn't, I think he was an atheistic Nazi, but-----I've always been a reader of different philosophies--even though I am a theist, AND I always get something useful out of them.

Here are some, if you care to look.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/f/friedrich_nietzsche.html

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But--of course, my day could not remain peaceful and quiet--not around here.  

Next door person, Tami, came over all stressed out about a problem that has occurred at least once every two weeks for the last four months!  She rants and raves--paces up and down the living room--flinging her arms and hands in the air--talking very loudly, erratic--good grief.  She and Dar are very much alike--they should be best friends--however, they hate each other. LOL

This time I did not try and reason with her.  I sat in my chair and said NOt ONE WORD--until she got done.  Then I said, "Tami--you go through this every couple of weeks.  I have no answers...I can't help you and I really don't like being included in all your drama."

Not what she expected.  Hey--I've tried to help her with her "fires"--okay?  The woman does not understand the concept of science--where the premise is to put water on a fire--oh no--she has a five gallon can of gas that she uses liberally to keep her pile of junk burning brightly.  You cannot talk to or give helpful elder advice to someone like that.  She's going to have to burn quite a bit before she learns.

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Then I called Pearl to see how their first night with new kitty went.  Not so good.  Apparently kitty wanted to sleep on Pearl's head.  Not too bad--but then if older cat, Tiger, crept out from under the bed, kitty jumped down off the bed and off they ran through the house.  Pearl got hardly any sleep and was a bit cranky on the phone.

Then she said, "I just laid back in my chair to catch a nap and Lily jumped up on my stomach and kneaded me."    So--not one to sympathize--I said, "Well you wanted an affectionate cat and it appears you got your wish."

I think I heard Pearl say something under her breath about where I should go and reside???  Of course, Pearl and I don't take each other seriously, so it's all good :-)

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AND then...there is one more neighbor who likes to grace me with her presence every Sunday afternoon...you know who I mean.

In she comes, cigarette in hand, mopping her face with a Kleenex.

"Boy it feels good in here," she says as she sits down in the rocker--recently vacated by Buddy when he heard her voice.  "It seems too cold though.  Whatcha got your thermostat set on?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I just turned it down a bit because it felt too humid in here.  When it gets to 74, I will turn it back up and put it on hold.  What do you keep yours at?"

"Oh--I don't use my air conditioner.  I have my whole house open.  I can't afford to waste electricity."

So, apparently now--not only am I Dar's confessor, therapist, chauffeur, but I am also owner and operator of her cooling station.  It's okay for ME to WASTE electricity, but not her. Don't you just love it?

However, today Dar is tired--she looked terrible--which I didn't mention because you know, she is 71, but "everyone thinks I am in my fifties."  Yeah--right.

She had to work every day through the weekend.  You know how thrift shopping is now all the rage?  She works at the Salvation Army store down the road.  They were extremely busy, as was she.  

She moaned, "There was a coat that came in.  Absolutely beautiful.  Looked brand new.  It was white fake fur, with white fur around the hood and suede down the front.  It was priced at one hundred fifty dollars, but then, in the afternoon of the fourth, it was put at fifty percent off.  With my discount...I could have gotten is for six dollars!"

I don't know what kind of discount she has, but that price didn't seem to make sense to me--but then I am no math genius and Dar certainly doesn't even know HOW to add, let along figure percentages and all, so.....it may have been an exaggeration.

WHAT Dar exaggerate?

Then---I almost fell out of my chair--she actually asked and seemed interested (for about 10 seconds) on what I had done over the holiday.  So I told her that I went up to The Farm yesterday.

"It just got to me," I said.  "Too noisy around here.  The constant traffic noise from the expressway.  The fire crackers--too many people..I had to get some peace and quiet."

"I know how you always talk about how you'd like to move back there."

"Yes.  I would."

"Oh--I couldn't stand it!  You like being along, but I need people!!  I have to be able to see activity around me--hear people talking--cars moving.  I would just go crazy if I had to spend even one day alone....with no noise?  I couldn't take it."

"Well--there is noise out there." I said.  "There are birds singing and you can hear the breeze moving through the tall maple trees and occasionally a few cars go by.  It's not like the middle of "No Where".  It is restful.  It is peaceful.  It is serene.  AND you can actually see the sun set on the horizon."

"Hm-mm," she says.

But I'd have to say, Dar's visit this afternoon, wasn't too bad.  Not once did she cackle that loud laugh of hers.  Not once did she put her hand, palm outward toward my face in that, "STOP" gesture she uses when I might have said a word when she wasn't ready for me to speak. It wasn't too bad.  

Perhaps if was because I had gone to church and was still feeling nice in my WWJD mode.  Of course tomorrow, that may wear off and I will be back to being my old angry self at her and Tami and proclaim loudly to my cats--"I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!!!"  

Jesus had to deal with Pharisees, but He NEVER had to deal with Tami and Dar or He might have done more then turn over a few money changer's tables!!!  

(That may be a sacrilegious statement--sorry.)
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I saw this posted on Face Book tonight--it brought tears to my eyes.  Madeleine on the left and Susanna on the right.  Maddie is staying this month with her sister, while studying with the Portland Ballet Company.

and this was the status:

"Taking in everything Oregon has to offer with Maddie. I'm not sure I'll ever let her go back to the mitten!"