Middle of the week blues--------

Trying to get winter things cleaned-up and put away.  So far--I have de-limed the humidifier and got it back in the storage box.  That's about it.  I have soooooooo much to get done before May.  Painting the porch and steps one of the biggest projects.  Cutting down Lilac bush suckers and putting some mulch on the area around the bushes--another big project.  Washing all the windows inside and swapping out my new curtains--still haven't even taken them out of the box they came in a month ago.
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No hot water --AGAIN!!  I heard the water heater come on last night as I was going to bed, but ice cold this morning when I wanted a shower.  The last repairman--March 13th, put in a new thermocouple so that is not the problem.  I think it is the gas exhaust vent on top of the roof, is situated in such a way that any little breeze blows the pilot light out.  I need to get someone up there to see if that might be the problem.  Thankfully, I have appliance repair coverage through my electric company so I don't have to pay the repair guys to re-light the pilot light as I can't get down on the floor to do it anymore.  The only problem, the water heater is located behind a pull-out panel in the back of my bedroom closet.  I have to clean out the clothes, shoes and other "stuff" stored there and that is a big pain in the back!!
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PT today.  She is now working on my lower back.  I don't think it is helping one bit, but my neck and shoulder ARE better from the previous manipulations.  <sigh--Arthritis is a mean thing.>
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With all the increases in price of car insurance, health insurance, food prices,  my budget is back to what is was a year or so ago.  I guess I shouldn't have redone my living room and put that money away for this year.  

While I am on the budget plan for utilities, their price went up, so my budget payments did also.  I had NO idea my health insurance was going to triple or my car insurance was going to increase $30.00 a month.  It gets a bit discouraging to have to use thin Marcel toilet paper and laundry detergent that smells like oil, that I get free from the food bank.  I want to buy Charmin Extra Soft and Tide detergent.  Those are luxuries to me now.  I am really grateful that we have a food bank that I can use.  And grateful that my food assistance went up to $23.00 a month, which isn't a lot considering the price of food, but anything helps.

There are positives to being poor.  I am probably healthier than I was five years ago, when I had meat everyday, and potatoes and bread.  I am 30# lighter and that's a good thing.  I usually only get beef once a month and vegetables to go with it.  A supper of Cheerio's and milk is pretty healthy--except I like lots of sugar.  Nowadays, it doesn't take much food to fill me up and that's a good thing too.

At least I don't have to file income tax.  Nothing I receive is taxable.  HAH!!

There isn't anywhere else I could live cheaper.  Rent is $377.00 and includes garbage pick-up and water.  I checked into government housing--egads those apartments are tiny, and it would cost me just about the same as living here.  I can't bear the thought of having to live in an apartment, with windows only on one side of the place, one bedroom.  I so love it here.

No more buying anything that isn't absolutely necessary for me to live.  

Sorry for the downer there.  I know that something will come along to help.  It always does.  
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I'm worried too about my Pammie.  She is working a school custodial job at night.  She isn't suppose to be doing that kind of work.  She has two missing vertebrae in her spine.  She has had all the X-rays, CAT scans, MRI's that prove she can't do this kind of work, but every desk job pays way less than this job.  Every specialist she has seen told her to get disability, but here, you have to be out of work for a couple of years before the government will give it to you.  How can she do that?  Make no money for two years?

She keeps her thermostat at 50 degrees all winter long and lives in her bedroom where she has a small electric heater.  I wish I could help her in some way.  She is such a wonderful person.  Always doing as much as she can for others.  

It would be beneficial for her if I moved in with her and gave her my Social Security check every month.  But, neither one of us really wants to do that.  I told her I would if it ever came down to where she couldn't make it on her own.  I at one time, wanted desperately to move back to my growing up area, but now, I know that now and as I age, I need to be close to grocery stores, the food bank, doctor and hospital.  If I moved out there, I would have to change doctor's and dentist to a closer town.  Plus, it takes an ambulance 45 minutes to respond and the nearest hospital is 30 miles away.

What to do, what to do?  Life gets very hard at times.  I never realized that until a decade or so ago.  We become too soon old and too late smart!!!!  I never should have gotten divorced!!!
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Oh well--what can I think of that's positive?  We are expecting 4.5 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow--I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow.  Baseball is starting Friday, so I can enjoy watching that.  This weekend the temperatures are supposed to be in the high 60's and next Thursday, I can go to my Old School Gal Pals lunch and after wards, visit my little sister and travel the roads back home.  Stop at the Cemetery and see how things look around the graves and have a chat with Fred.
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My colonoscopy was clear, as well as my lung scan, so no worries about that.  Thank goodness.

It could be much worse.  While, I can't control prices of anything and I can't control the money coming in, which puts me in the red every month. 

 BUT==everything is going to be okay.  

I know it is!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know God will help me---somehow.  He always has!!!