Job. Not a money making one--the one from the Bible.

Dar has a new crisis, and of course, it has over- flowed into my life.

She called at 11:00 Friday night wondering if I had an air mattress.  I did not have one and said, "Why don't you check at work?  I think Meijer (where she works) sells them."

"Oh.  Good idea.  I never thought of that."
<dim>

Her oldest son Wayne, whom she hasn't had contact with in three years, lived in Michigan, but moved to Seattle.  She had no idea until her daughter Connie called and told her Wayne's wife was dying.

Dar's son and daughter-in-law have lived a sort of 1960's, hippie lifestyle.  Neither one has worked for the last decade, instead living on Welfare.  They have two children, now 17 (boy) and 14 (girl) and neither one has ever gone to school.  

When the wife died, Dar did send her son money to pay for the cremation.  A few months later, CPS was going to take the children and put them in Foster Care and into school.  They thought both could start in 6th grade.  Can you imagine, a tall 17 year-old boy going into 6th grade?

Dar's daughter Connie heard about it from her brother and told them to come to Indiana and live with her.  He and the kids piled in their old van and headed to Indiana.

After two months living with his sister, Connie told him he had to get the kids in school or he couldn't live there anymore.  

For the last month, he and the kids have been living out of their van in a park near Connie's.  They move the van everyday, spend all day pan-handling on the streets of Indianapolis and go back to the park to sleep at night.

So what does his sister do?  She reports him to the police and CPS.  Then she calls Dar and tells her what she's done.  Dar thought her son was still in Seattle.

Dar tells Connie to find him and tell him to come stay with her.  Apparently, he got out of there, two hours before the police showed up.  The police went to Connie's and she told him, he had left and was headed to Michigan and gave them Dar's address!!

Dar has three bedrooms.  She wanted the air mattress for the 17 year old boy to sleep on in her den.  The son could then have his own room and queen size bed and her 14 year old grand daughter the other bedroom.  

I suggested that the boy could sleep in the Queen size bed with his Dad.  Dar seems to think everyone needs their own private bedroom--which would be nice, I suppose, but this is a crisis situation.

The family arrived in the middle of Friday night.  I have not seen any of them come out of the house, except Dar to go to work.

Dar also told me that "I am NOT taking them in!  They can only stay here a few days.  He needs to find a job, and an apartment and get those kids in school!"

The boy, legally doesn't have to go to school and will turn 18 in three months.  The girl needs to be in school and find some sort of life for herself.

I expect police cars to show up any day now, across the street.  I see he has backed the van in so his license plate is not visible.
===============
Dar wonders why her grown children are so messed up.  Well, let's see.

She has four children and, although I don't believe in abortion, thankfully she had two or there would be 6 of her messed up adult children in this world!!!

Three of them have different fathers.  When they were pre-teen, she moved in with a Harlem Globetrotter basketball player.  She and he lived in the upstairs of a mansion, the four children were not allowed upstairs, so they were cared for by a nanny downstairs.  She left him when Connie graduated from high school.

Each child, except Connie the youngest, have alcohol/drug addictions.  Connie is merely bi-polar.
==============

Her oldest Lisa 61, is a Lesbian, living in North Carolina, awaiting a liver transplant, because of being an alcoholic since she was 18.
<These two have the same father.  He died of alcoholism five years ago.> 
Wayne, 57, also an alcoholic since he was 16, is the one now staying with her.

Jeff  50, who comes to visit once or twice a year--always needing money, is presently in his 15th rehab facility, 15th--trying to kick a Vodka and Vicadin addiction he has had since age 14.

Connie 45, who lived with her for a year, along with the four grandchildren, is the one who Dar lived with in Greece for two years, then Connie gave Dar the money to buy the house here.  Connie was planning her own "get-a-way" from her Greek husband.

Connie and Dar both have their names on the title of the house.  Neither one will sign off so the house could be sold, which is what Dar wants to do and go live in Arizona.  

Connie won't sign off because she wants to keep her mother miserable (so says Dar), Dar won't sign off because she needs ALL the money from the house sale, not just her half.

Connie and Dar got into a major fight, fueled by bi-polar, hysteria on both sides, and took the four grand children and moved to Indianapolis two years ago.

Which put Dar in a hysterical mental state for 18 months, which, unfortunately overflowed into my life, as I was trying to recover from Fred's death!  

Dar has her own mental problems, as I have posted about more than 50 million times!!!!.  She has been in a mental hospital for 9 months, after she left the black guy, and once for 3 months while she was in Greece.  

She has told me, the only reason she works as many hours, as many days as possible, is to keep her from another breakdown and out of the mental ward.
=============

None of her kids actions are her fault!  The fault lies in their father(S) and of course the black basketball player who would not allow her to interact with her kids.

I haven't had a visit from Dar in two peaceful weeks. I expect one tomorrow, so she can get away from the crisis in her house and dump it all on me.

I can hardly wait!!!
===============

God calls me to help my neighbor's.  He must have purposefully put Darlene in my life to see if I can meet the test?  

OR

The devil has tests too.  Remember Job?

Shiny Day

No Slothiness today.

Stripped my bed,  Washed mattress pad, sheets and coverlet.  Shifted memory foam mattress topper.

Vacuumed all rooms--I only have 5 rooms.

New filters in humidifier and air cleaner.

Filled up squirrel and bird feeders.

Called about my prescription drug plan--one prescription went up $1.00 this month.

=======================

My little sister is very sick with the Creeping Crud that has been going around the country.  Luckily she got into the doc's today and got a antibiotic and Mucinex.  The pharmacies are getting low on Mucinex as so many people are so sick.

They have two furnaces for the house, with humidifiers on both.  Her husband insists on heating the house with the big fireplace in the dining room.  They use small electric heaters in the other rooms to keep the chill off.  Every time he opens the fireplace door to stoke the fire, a cloud of oily, sooty smoke pours out.

That, with no humidifier running is why, I think, she got sick.  There is more damn wood smoke in that house then if they both were smokers!!!!!!  He is trying to keep the Propane usage down!  With the electric blower on the fireplace and the electric heaters, isn't that going to drive up their electric bill?

Our Dad did the same thing and Susie's husband used to say, "Why not just run the furnace.  I can barely breathe in there.", and yet, he is doing the same thing.

BUT--that is none of my business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=================

It is supposed to get near 50 degrees this weekend.  YAY.

Our Blanket Has Been Adopted!!!

When Chris was here in September, we talked about some place we could donate the crocheted blankets I was testing for her.  I knew of a woman's shelter outside of Howell, as when I moved here, I applied for a job there.  I didn't know if they took these kinds of donations.

Last night, I posted a photo of the blanket and asked everyone in this area if they knew of a place that took these kinds of donations.  Many commented that a lot of churches takes these kinds of gifts and use them for fund raisers.

Well--Chris and I didn't necessarily want it to go to something like that.  Back in the 1990's when I left my abusive husband, I had to stay in a woman's shelter for a couple of nights.  I really wanted this gorgeous blanket to go somewhere like that.  A place where a battered woman might run to safety and upon entering her room, she would see this beautiful blanket on the bed and it might make her feel a bit better.  Plus, being made of yarn, it will absorb a lot of tears and still look grand.

This morning, I got a FB message from one of my "friends" (that I've never met) that her friend sometimes worked at the woman's shelter and YES, they did accept donations of this sort.

I had to go to Howell to pick up a prescription.  The Shelter is on the other side of Howell and I decided to take it up there this afternoon.  I had laundered it and dried it and it was soft and smelled fresh.  I put it in one of those large plastic/cloth, zippered bags you get when you buy a bedspread.  It looked so nice.

The woman at the front desk was ecstatic!!!!  She said she knew exactly the room it was going in.  A room with a Queen Size bed, that housed women who had children with them.  The room also had a crib and a two twin beds for the children.

It made my heart so happy that Chris and I could use this gift to bless someone else.  Someone who would really use it.  

So our blanket will "live" at the shelter for awhile and maybe---someday--it just might leave with a woman who is going on to her new home and needs a bedspread.

Home Sweet Home 

Did I tell you, I finished the LapGhan?  It is the kind that works with a wheel chair or just someone sitting in a chair to keep their legs and middle warm.  I have started another one, using this same pattern. A bit bigger--a Throw.   I see it for a gentleman who is in a VA hospital or somewhere like that.

I buy the Caron Pound yarn for the blankets.  Red Heart is also a good yarn to use.  Worsted Weight.  These are done with a K hook.  They wash up and dry like a dream.







Plus, I am testing a knitted shawl pattern for Chris.
===================

I thought you'd like to see my exercise program.  Jane Fonda it ain't, but I can feel it working already.


https://youtu.be/HWWVON924N0

Ah-hh. To Be A Sloth.

Jean, over here, was bemoaning the fact that she is a Slug.  She has lists and goals and she is not motivated to meet those goals and feels like a Slug.

As for me--I am trying to perfect the art of Slothiness.  I am working on a book entitled, "How To Become A Successful Sloth".  Have you ever watched a Sloth?  How slowly they move.  How relaxed and peaceful they seem.

For instance--this morning my alarm went off at 9:30--I turned it off and rolled over for another hour.  A Sloth would do that.

I played a few Face Book games and then ate my salad for lunch.  A Sloth loves his greens.

I climbed into my recliner at noon, picked up my knitting and knitted for the next 90 minutes while I watched my Soap.

Then I switched channels and watched two hours of FOX News, then a two hour movie, while I crocheted and/or petted my cats.

I watched the local and national news from 6-7, switched channels to watch a basketball game, and knit some more and turned off the TV at 9:30.

As you can see--I am quite content to be a Sloth--I prefer that over being a Slug, as Sloths are furry and well..........Slugs are kind of slimy and gross.

I have NO goals for the rest of the days of my life.

I have no adventures planned, other than driving up to the Wal-Mart tomorrow to pick up a prescription and 4 gallons of water for my humidifier.

Of the four loads of laundry I started on Monday, two are done.  One is in the dryer gathering wrinkles and one in the washer.  It can wait until tomorrow.

I haven't been to the mail box in two days.  I have a big enough mail box to hold at least 4 days worth of junk mail.

Life is calm, peaceful and relaxed and very Slothful.

Exercise and Road Rage

Exercise.  Not in my vocabulary!  I have never purposefully exercised.  Oh....I forgot.  I did have a membership at a gym for a year--I went with Fred.  He was into all that nonsense.  (See where it got him?)  HAH!

I have always been pretty active==gardening, mowing the lawn, cleaning, walking, golfing.  I figured that was exercise enough.  Lately The last three years, I've noticed that my always skinny legs, now have no muscle tone.  My skin is so crepey!!!  I need something.  This morning, I devised my own exercise plan and it takes about 10 minutes.

I stand back, arm's length from the wall.  Then, I do push-ups against the wall.  Leaning forward until my nose touches the wall and pushing myself back.  10 times--I hope to double that soon.  Then I stand in front of the kitchen counter, hold on to the edge, and do 10 squats.  It must have some beneficial effect because the backs of my arms as well as my calves, ache tonight.  I vant to pump me up!!
=====================
I finished up the Lapghan I was making for Chris.  It is the same pattern as the blankets I have made, but 36x48.  Just the right size for wheel chair use or just sitting in a chair.  

This only took me 9 days to make.  South-Western colors.  The colors aren't quite that vibrant, but there was no sun coming in the window so I had to use my flash.  I just take the photos and send them to Chris and she works her magic, cropping them, or whatever she wants to do.

I am also working on a knitted shawl pattern for her.  It was difficult to begin.  I "Frogged" the thing 4 times before I figured out how to do the pattern.  Now, I have the pattern memorized and am going right along.  I have to work on it later in the day.  It is made with #4 needles and fingering (thin) yarn and in the morning, my right hand is too shaky to get the needle to cooperate.  BTW=Frogged means to rip it out.  Rip It.  Rip It.  (Ribbet.  Ribbet),  Get it?  Knitters are truly weird people!
===================
I felt very good today.  Must have been the exercise?  Energized and motivated.  

Per usual, Maisey stopped in today.  She now arrives around 11:00 and when my Cuckoo clock strikes twelve, she looks up at it and I say, "Lunch time, Maisey.  Time to go home??"  Hint!!! Today, her Daddy, John had to get to his volunteer job at the elementary school, so he was in a hurry.  If you call, sitting and talking for an hour being in a hurry to get going.

I was thinking about the campaigns that are going on.  I think that Jeb Bush would make a really good President.  But not in these times.  Conservative, establishment Republican--he would have been good,... back in the 80's.  I guess now, with the way our society has changed in the last 8 years, we need someone a bit younger, perhaps a more liberal conservative.  If there is such a thing.  If I were voting in the Iowa caucus, I'd probably vote for Marco Rubio.  Since I'm not in Iowa, I have 10+ months to make up my mind.
=============================
I got a bit crazy and ran up to Subway at 5:00.  Not the best time to be out on the road that runs in front of here, but hey--I was feeling adventurous.  Instead of getting my usual Spicy Italian Sub, I had it made into a salad.  Oh.  My.

Two meals for sure.  Kind of like an Antipasto Salad, which is my favorite.  Tomorrow for lunch I will put in some Mozzarella cheese bits and green olives.

The most fun I've had in ages--on the way back, the light up the road a bit was red, so I had a clear shot at getting out onto the road.  I got in the inner lane--no one behind or in front of me.  There was another car beside me in the right lane--the left front bumper of his car, near my right rear bumper.

All of a sudden, this huge pick-up zoomed up behind the other car.  One of those big pick-ups the guys like to drive to prove how manly they are?  He was in a big hurry.  Then he pulled in behind me--right on my trunk.  I was going 53mph-3 miles over the speed limit, and instead of going a bit faster, I just stayed steady on my speed--and so did the car to the right of me. 

That guy couldn't get past either one of us.  He was penned in and although, it only lasted a mile, until I turned left into the park, it was so much fun.  He so wanted to go busting up the road at 60mph, which a lot of folks do at 5:30 in the evening, but I wouldn't let him.  My Passive-Aggressive way of keeping him under control--at least for a little bit.  HAH!

SIGH!

From: Karen Rivard
Sent: Monday, January 25, 2016 5:00 PM
To: Mom
Subject: yesterday...

Hey Mom, I just wanted to write and apologize for yesterday.

I wasn't sure what the schedule was for yesterday, but on Saturday Jen had arranged with Cindy to bring Mark down to celebrate both Christmas with her and also Mark's birthday.  I thought they would be coming down for dinner, but I wasn't sure about the details (I only saw Jen briefly on Saturday before going to bed before 6:30 p.m.)  I wasn't sure if anyone had invited you.  When you dropped by my house unannounced I wasn't sure what was going on.

You remember what happened when I invited you the day after Thanksgiving-Jen didn't come.  That's not the only time she backed out of an event because you were going to be there.  It's not in my head to figure that out.  That's business between you and her.  

What I do not like is being in the middle of all this mess.  Dinner yesterday was at my house because Jen is living with us.  The dinner was her idea which I agreed to.  Beyond that I was out of the loop (being in Europe last week). 

I feel sad that you felt you had to leave yesterday.  That is not something I would ask you to do.  I'm sorry that the situation is still very uncomfortable (at least for me), painful, and awkward.

I hope you can forgive me for not knowing what to do when put in such difficult situations like yesterday.

I hope that in the future you can communicate with Jen and Mark directly by calling them if you have a question for them.  You can also call me at anytime, and it would probably be best to give me a quick call before you drop over so I know you are coming.

Take care,

Love, Karen

======================

My reply:

Oh Sweetheart---There was no problem yesterday, at least none I was aware of.

Jen and I had talked on Monday and she said she thought the kids were coming in for the weekend, and maybe I could see them.

She and I had a really nice talk yesterday out in the kitchen and she told me all about her “commuting” plans for the future.  I don’t think she and I have a problem anymore, at least she doesn’t act like it and hugged and kissed me good-bye.

I left because I figured you kids were getting together for your Christmas or Mark’s birthday and thought that was very cool.  So happy that my kids still like each other enough to get together.

I was just glad I got to see ALL my kids together at one time.

I was tired all day anyway and sleepy enough to want to come home.

I didn’t feel I HAD to leave, or was forced to leave.
I was getting ready to leave  when they all started coming in.

If you had asked me to stay, I would have excused myself anyway.  J

I hope my brief presence didn’t cause discomfort to anyone.

I drove home with a big smile on my face because I had gotten to see you all, PLUS Evan!!

YAY!

Love you, Mom

======================
So, even when there is no problem, there is a problem?
We are all so afraid of stepping on each others toes that we can't even be normal.  Sad.
I hope my reply to her e-mail helped--who knows

Weekend

Last Friday, I took off early and went up to The Farm. 

 As I turned onto the road I was born on, five miles from The Farm, I was lost in my memory.  Almost every half mile along those five miles is a memory. 

 The house my best friend was raised in and just up the road, the house where my second best friend lived.  Another half mile and the big dip in the road, where a deer once came out of the ditch and actually jumped OVER my car.  

The next mile, houses of people I went to school with--bus stops at each of those homes.  The place where Pam had her near fatal accident the night before her 18th birthday.  The corner where I could turn, if I wanted to visit the cemetery--then the house where I raised my kids, the woods I played in and where I wanted to build my little retirement-dream house.  The corner and I look to the farm where my son lives and see his truck is gone, so I know he is well enough to be...somewhere and then turn and there is The Farm.

I took the Queen Size blanket I have been crocheting for Chris.  I wanted to try it on Susie's queen size bed to see if it was correct width/length and...it was.

Then I went through that door, on the right, and saw the progress they are making on their dressing room/bathroom.  It is going to be very nice.

We chatted a bit while we both crocheted, then lunch with Chuck, then the three of us played the USA version of "Ticket To Ride", then Susie and I played a game of "Upwords" and then it was time for me to leave so............I could stop in and see Pammie, just before she left for work.  I was home by 4:30, long before dark.

All day Saturday, I stayed in and knitted/crocheted while I watched a couple of basketball games.  Both Michigan teams won.  I was real concerned about Mark and Karen, flying home from Rome and Jennifer's husband and kids--driving here from New Jersey.  So much snow on the East Coast.  I didn't see any FB postings that Karen and Mark arrived home, but I figured, no news is good news.  If their plane had crashed, it certainly would have been on the News.

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been dragged through a knothole, backwards.  My head felt full and heavy and my eyes didn't seem to want to focus very well.  At noon, I got a "nudge" and made a HUGE decision.

I decided that if I wanted to know what was going on and get a chance to see Jen's kids, I would just drive on down to Karen and Marks--where everyone is staying.  So--I did!

Karen and Mark had a direct 13hour flight home from Rome to Detroit, no stop-over at JFK, so they missed all the snow.  Eric and the kids left NJ early Friday morning, so they got outta there before the storm.

Eric was in the garage, working on his truck.  Jennifer had taken Elise to stay overnight with a friend and Andrew and Alex had stayed in NJ.  Little Guy Evan had spent the overnight with Pammie, and wasn't there.

I stepped out into the garage and had a nice chat with Eric.  He was captive in the closed up garage and couldn't escape talking with me.  Banal, how's everything going, kind of chat.

Karen and I talked for awhile and she didn't offer anything about when Pammie would bring Little Guy back or when Jen would get back.  We talked about her trip.

All of a sudden, I heard voices and in walked my son Mark and Cindy.  Then Pammie came in with Evan, followed closely behind by Jennifer with an arm load of food.  Apparently they were going to have a Siblings get together and a nice supper.

I got to talk to all of them for a few minutes, then out in the kitchen with Jen.  She has acquired a terrific situation with the law firm she is with here in Michigan.  She is going to commute!!!??

They have given her a car and some kind of plane ticket where she can get a flight from NJ to Michigan anytime she wants/needs, PLUS a raise in pay.  She has a meeting on February 3 and the 12th.  She will be staying at Karen's while she is here.  They don't want to lose her expertise in Non-Profit Fund knowledge AND she will also be in contact with their side partner in Manhattan.

<So--let me see.  The reason they were moving was so Eric would work and support the family and Jennifer would stay home and be Momma.  Hm-mm.>

They found out Thursday, they have been approved to build on the lot they found, so when Eric gets back, he is going to meet with the contractor's and get things going.  He has yet to start working with his father in ANY of the offices in NJ or New York.
========================
It was nice to see all my kids together.  I know they have been trying to put some sort of gathering since before Jen moved.  Today was to celebrate Mark's birthday, last Sunday.

I hugged and kissed them all and left with a smile on my face.  I didn't want to interrupt their get together and... no one had suggested I stay.  LOL

It is still difficult for me to get used to the idea that at one time, I was the center of their world and now...barely tolerated.

I am just thankful for any scraps I can get and am glad that today--I answered a God Whisper and drove on down to Karen's.