The Thrill Is Gone

Today's high temperature was: 77 degrees

The humidity was: 42%

Sunny and very pleasant

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Awake again at 7:30--I have no clue why I am suddenly waking up early.  I had a lot of pain in the base of my head and my neck--maybe that's what woke me up?  Tonight, I will try a different pillow.  I have three new ones that I am trying to find some sort of comfort with.  None of them are comfortable!

My appointment at the Food Bank was at noon.  I got there, got my cart and began my gleaning.  I could not remember how many cans of what I was allowed and then realized, I hadn't checked-in.  So I did that and got my check list.  2 frozen meats, 2 bread products, as many canned goods as I wanted--all of it, just so I didn't go over my 40# limit.  Last month, I think I told you I only came up with 12# and they were trying to load me up with stuff I never would eat.  Today, I got 24#, so I did better, so as to not upset them, and I managed to get a pound of ground beef and a package of Chuck Steak Beef Bundles, whatever they are.  I will put them in the crock-pot and cook them for hours or days and add some potatoes, carrots, onions and pretend it is a pot roast.

What really touched me today, a young woman with 3 small children, was in front of me in the line that winds back and forth through the aisles up to the check-out.  You could tell the kids clothes were frayed, but they were all very clean, with hair combed and well behaved.  As we strolled along, I found out she had a melanoma tumor removed at the U of M hospital.  She now needs chemotherapy and can't get it.

"Have you checked into getting the Obama health insurance?"

"Yes.  We tried right away, but, we don't qualify for any breaks in the price and we can't afford the six hundred a month premium."

"Are you on Medicaid?"

"Yes, but right now, we can only get treatment in an ER and they don't do chemo in an ER."

"Something isn't right here," I said.  "You are involved in the WIC programs and with DHS, right?"

"Yes both.  They just cut my food stamps down one hundred-fifty dollars this month."

"Yeah--I know.  They cut mine too."

"If it wasn't for the kids and my husband, I'd just kill myself.  I might die anyway, without the chemo."

"Now--you gotta keep going.  There are 3 other food banks in the county...run by the churches.  Do you know about them."

"Yes.  I'm enrolled at each one."

I'm racking my brain and telling her about the Michigan Health Care programs and telling her she HAS to call DHS and just keep bugging them until they help her.

Soon we were done and walked outside to our cars.  Each applicant gets one jug of laundry detergent and one pack of bathroom tissue each month--it doesn't count toward your total.  The toilet paper is like the kind in the public restrooms and I only use the laundry detergent on my blue jeans because it doesn't seem to clean anything else.  I handed the young Mom, my toilet paper and detergent.  

"I know you have a lot of clothes to wash and one pack of toilet paper isn't going to last you a week.  Please take mine--I have some at home to use."

Tears came to her eyes--  

"Thank you soooo much.  It was so nice to talk to you," she said.  "You take care of yourself and have a nice weekend."

"You too.  Hang in there!  Keep going forward...take care of your beautiful family.  It will get better."

As if I believed any of that!!!  This makes me so sad--sad and angry!!  She's not the only one of course--there was two other young Moms with children in the small food bank today and 3 other older women like me.  There was one bag of limp cut up salad fixings in the cooler--the lady behind me and I both reached for it at the same time.  I let her take it.  The supply of anything "fresh" was very limited today.  I call it fresh--everything is past the "sell by date".  I did manage to find a package of croissants--I use them for my lunchtime sandwich.  

I wish I had a million dollars--half a million.  I know, I can't save everyone, but I could have at least handed this young Mom a hundred dollars today.    Of course, if I had that kind of money, I wouldn't be in the areas where the poor are compelled to go.  Frustrating!!
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I went over to Dar's when I got home.  She doesn't understand her computer very well.  She has a camera and had pictures on it that she wanted to get off there and on to her computer.  I downloaded the camera software and showed her how to hook up her camera and copy her photos to her computer and delete off her camera.  She brought out her beautiful Caftan and I got to try it on again.

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Tomorrow morning I am going up to Pearl's and try and get her new laptop figured out.  Her daughter got it for her for Christmas and Pearl hasn't been able to get on it since.  She has tried many times and now has at least 4 different usernames and passwords and can't remember any of them.  It may be a hopeless case, but I promised I would give it a go.
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I am getting a bit weary of my dating site research--the thrill is gone.  Here are my matches for today:

Okay--this guy reminds me of someone who would be in a little,

run-down shack, posing as a church and yelling

REPENT, as he passed the rattlesnakes around.

Yesterday, I got one with the Cowboy hat and today--

Ta Dah--I get one with a motorcycle.

So many old guys with motorcycles.

Probably the only pleasurable feeling

they get between their legs anymore. 

I'm sure he is very nice, but, once again,

the stupid emblem on the hat!

Besides, he's short

Well now--lookie here--

I don't much like the 'stache, 

his nose is a bit weird,  but...

A really nice profile.  He's 6'4"  Doesn't list his income level--which is good.  I like what I am reading below:
He lives 15 miles away.  I just might message him.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME:
I'm an easy going, jeans and tennis shoes kinda guy. But, I can dress for whatever the occasion calls for. I enjoy life and love having fun. I try to hold myself to high standards. I accept people for whom they are. I don't try to change them. I’m honest and treat people with dignity, courtesy, and respect. I believe romance and affection are an important part of a healthy relationship. I like pleasing others and I am a firm believer that, “it really is more blessed to give than to receive.” I am a Christian, and although, not a writer by profession, I enjoy writing spiritual books, booklets, and articles, which I email anonymously, at no cost, to people all over the world. Born in Dearborn Mich., served in the Navy and, after attending the Univ. of Detroit, I moved to South. Calif. I spent my career working in Aero Space Financial Executive Management and retired in 2002. I have 4 children and 10 grandchildren, all but one living in Calif. Two of my grandsons are professional baseball pitchers. I moved back to Novi, Mich.4 years ago. I am both very emotional, and financially secure. I feel, and people say, I look much younger than I am. But, you need to decide for yourself; either by my “recent photos” or by meeting.

Men seem to regularly make the statement: "People say, I look much younger than I am."  They are so insecure, aren't they?  I have always been a tad afraid of men, but now, as they age, I see how really needy they are and it takes away their dominant power--or what I have always felt was their domination.  Or perhaps, I have just become so much for independent and don't worry about trying to impress them anymore, that I am more relaxed about men?  

"You don't scare me, you weird gender!  Instead of always being the people pleaser, so you would like me, I don't care now.  I can live quite a good life without you.  Be good to me or you're gone!"  HAH