title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Sunday, June 29, 2014

60th Wedding Anniversary Party

Queen Anne's Lace/Wild Carrot and roses in a green Ball jar.
Would be beautiful for a country style wedding
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I was in my nightgown until noon!  Then, I took a shower and put it back on, while I dried.  Got dressed, filled up the bird feeders, ran a Prilosec up to Pearl who had bad heart burn and sat down to watch the baseball game.

I got so sleepy and closed my eyes at 3:00 and woke with a start at 4:25, BECAUSE I HAD TO BE AT MERLE AND PEARL'S 60TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY!!!!! YIKES!!

Made it!

Her youngest daughter, Margie, had reserved one entire side of the local Bob Evans restaurant--40 people came.  Pearl wanted me to sit right next to her.

Kind of an odd different family.  No one had a camera and no one wanted to have pictures taken, so I got bossy just so I could get one of them  and one of them and their kids.


Their eldest is Vic (given the name of Victor so he would be victorious)--he looks just like Merle, but he doesn't talk--or smile!  I greeted him when he arrived and when I left and he only mumbled something I could not make out.

Their eldest daughter, Cathy, (named for Catherine the Great) is a very religious woman.  Two weeks ago, she got mad at her husband and cut off most of her waist-length hair.  She thought it would make him stop drinking.  Ah-hh--NO.

Their youngest daughter (between them) Margie, (named for Princess Margaret) is the one I adore!  She reminds me so much of my Pammie.  Happy and smiling all the time and very, very fun.

I did manage to get Pearl to let me take a picture of the roses that Merle gave her.  Well, actually, Margie got a card and the roses, took her Dad out to the car, gave them to him and he brought them back in for Pearl.  She wasn't fooled for a minute and turned to me and said, "He didn't get me these, Margie did.  He has never bought me a flower in our lives!"  Which, when I remember how many flowers Fred brought home to me, made me sort of sad.




  
Considering that no one wanted pictures, but I knew that later Pearl would say, "I wish we had pictures of our party,"  I just kept clicking away, without my flash and no one had a clue.  HAH!  Then I put some together and printed them out and will take them all up to her tomorrow.


I accidentally hit my water glass with my knife and someone thought I was "clinking for a kiss" and they all started clinking and we did get a tiny little peck kiss out of them.  I didn't get a picture of that, but.....

They were sharing a milk shake and I did get a couple of photos of that--Pearl put whipped cream on Merle's nose. LOL

I wonder how anyone can live with the same person for 60 years and not get so tired of them and their ways--you know exactly how they are going to react to everything.  No surprises--maybe that's a good thing?  I could barely live with MYSELF for that long without getting bored.  

I guess you just start out, go through all the fights and problems and then, finally settle down and you get to be like brother and sister, or something--friends?  I don't really know what makes a long term marriage.  Is it just habit?  Neither one wants to rock the boat so...you just settle?  Better to be together, even though you can hardly stand each other, than to be all alone?

Merle and Pearl barely say a word to each other.  Most of the time, when they are together, they ignore each other.  He snaps at her on occasion...she gets so mad at him.  I guess that's what these long anniversaries are all about.  A celebration for putting up with each other for life?  

Oh well, I will never know and honestly...that's quite all right with me.  I'd rather be alone than have some MAN tell me what to do, how to do it, when to do it and get mad if I don't do it his way.
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Whenever we go to Bob Evan's to eat, Merle and I order a side of biscuits.  Pearl and Margie tease  him on how he eats a biscuit.  He first, cuts them in half, then slathers one half with butter.  Then he puts the tiniest bit of honey on the edge and only bites that part.  (He doesn't put honey on the whole half.)  He then puts on a tiny bit more of honey and eats only that part--on and on until the biscuit is gone.  

He stated in his dry way, "Keeps the honey from making a sticky mess."  So, tonight, I surreptitiously got a pix of him eating his biscuit.  I can't wait until they all see this photo!




I am a bit worried about Merle.  He has had terrible back pain for the last 6 months.  Has gone to the Chiropractor and the doctor.  Now, they finally want to run tests--CAT scan--MRI.  The family and Pearl aren't worried because they have no clue that it is anything but arthritis.  Knowing (way too much) about medical things, I can worry about Pancreatic/Lung/Kidney/Liver cancer.  Only I can worry--I am not saying a word about my worries to anyone else!

I've had a nice full weekend.  Filled with people that I enjoy and love and who love me...and none of them are related to me.  Just like at Drew's grad party yesterday--he was so glad I was there.

They don't HAVE to be nice to me.  That's kind of nice!  

10 comments:

  1. Love the flowers in the Ball jar. Very pretty. I'm glad you had a great weekend.

    I made it 42 years with Don and I can understand what it takes to be together 50, 60 years. What we see on the surface isn't always a true reflection of that what is going on when you get past the take-each-other-for-granted layer. People might get annoyed with the little, day-to-day stuff like leaving dirty clothes on the floor but still be deeply loving and loyal on the bigger more important issues that keeps a couple together---common values, life lessons, shared experiences, and dedication to one another through the hard times.

    I hope Merle's tests don't show anything serious but, I too, would think cancer. After six months it's time to confirm or rule out arthritis.

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    1. By the way, I think Merle's way of putting honey on a biscuit is genius and it would work to keep it from running all over the place and making a sticky mess.

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  2. Thanks for the pictures; they give a face to the name. As for a long marriage, you're probably correct on all accounts.

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  3. Looks like a nice party anyway! Glad you had a good weekend!

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  4. I have shown Merle how I eat my biscuit. I put it in half, slather it with butter, lay it on my plate, drown it in honey and---eat it with a fork. LOL.

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  5. I sure hope Merle will be okay, and not something that can't be fixed. Arthritis is bad enough on its own.

    That was nice of their daughter to put together an anniversary luncheon. My parents were married 53 years when Dad passed. They very rarely argued; actually Dad went along with most of Mom's wishes.

    But, I had an aunt and uncle who were married 73 years. As they got older, and perhaps before he was mean to her. As much as I loved him, it hurt me to see him hurt her mostly by ignoring her. As she got older, and began the senility it was no longer apparent in that she realized what was going on. (If that makes sense.) I just hated that as hard as she worked to make a happy home, it wasn't appreciated. I mean, Judy, as you know most farm families work hard and not just the men. She was constantly canning, quilting etc. And, the noon meal (which they called dinner) HAD to be on the table at ll:30. Okay, I'm rambling. LOL Didn't mean to write you a book.

    xoxo

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    1. Yes, I know Sally. The meal at noon was the biggest one of the day, so that the farmers had "fuel" to go back out and work until dark. I still call it" Breakfast, Dinner and Supper."

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  6. You sound so content - just the right amount and the right kind of people around.

    Whenever I see marriages like Merle and Pearl's, I think Newton's First law - an object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

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  7. It's hard to know the inside of someone else's marriage. We are looking at our 45th coming up in November. We scrap and snap (especially in the kitchen). At times, I'm sure we look like a couple of old snapping turtles, but no one sees the private moments. It's probably not as bad as it seems for Merl and Pearl, I hope. Besides, they have one of the greatest couple names - Merl and Pearl!

    I'm in love with the Queen Anne's Lace and roses in the Ball jar. I really like the contrast of a formal flower like a rose combined with a weed - um, wildflower. Beautiful.

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