title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, September 19, 2013

It Must Be The Third Thursday

Today's high temperature was:  78 degrees
Today's humidity was: 57%
Muggy, but sunny
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It must be the third Thursday of the month because, I had lunch with my school pals, in Durand--about 45 minutes north of here. Today it took over an hour, because..........................

A young local volunteer fire fighter died of a massive heart attack last week--one of those, stand up from your chair, fall over dead, heart explosion kind of thing.  On my way up toward Byron, I had to wait while his funeral procession passed a corner---a very long procession.  I didn't really mind however,  I got out of my car and stood with my head bowed as they passed by us.






I finally got to Doorand, which is how we all pronounce it--Durand.  It "was" the railroad capital of Michigan at one time.  Now the round house is gone and there really isn't much rail traffic.  At one time, if in labor, we had to know a route to get to the hospital, without going through Durand, because you sure didn't want to get stopped and wait thirty minutes for the trains to clear the tracks!  

Today, they have turned the Depot into a museum and also have the Farmer's Market there on the weekends.  My Mother and I boarded a train many times from that Depot on our way to the east side of the State to visit her parents.  Such fun, riding those trains.

Coming into town.  
This is one of four sets of tracks I had to
cross in a three block area.


The clock tower.


The famous Depot.

My sister was in town, buying some groceries she forgot yesterday, for her out of State visitors.  She dropped in and talked to all my friends.  I had given her "cliff notes"--picture of all of them and what their maiden names were so that if she ever ate lunch with us, she'd know them.  Most of them haven't seen her in 56 years, because...............we all graduated in June 1957 and she started Kindergarten the next September.  



One of our ladies, Liz, is getting married~!!!!!  Her husband died of cancer about four years ago--he was also an alcoholic, but a nice guy.  She had the breast cancer gene and after her bout with breast cancer, had an elective double mastectomy.  She has often said, "No man will ever want me because I don't have any boobs."  Well this guy told her, "Personally, I'm a leg man....so as long as you have two legs--I am happy!"  He has a horse farm and likes to travel and is well off--and so is she--so they met yesterday to sign a pre-nuptial agreement.  

ONE BIG WEIRD THING HOWEVER==they knew each other as kids.  They haven't seen each other in 60 years, both being married 50 years, both spouses dying of cancer, BUT.....they are first cousins!  

When she stated that, a dead silence--none of us gasped, but...almost...then I said, "Well it's not like you are going to have a passel of imbecilic kids, so....no problem."

Then she said, "We can't get married in Michigan though.  Our pastor is going with us to Indiana to perform our wedding!"

I just had to ask..."Why are you getting married?  Wouldn't it be better to just live together--better for you both financially?

"Because...I am not going to live with a man and share his bed every night, without being married.  We go to church and it just wouldn't be right!"

"So--you can both perform sexually?"  (Yes, I know--that is a personal question, but I have known her since we were two years old and we all have known her since Kindergarten, and it is not a really outrageous thing to say in our group, so.........)

Then Sally said, "Is this a shot-gun wedding?"

Liz said, "NO!  I'm not pregnant!  I haven't had sex in fifteen years because my husband had his prostate removed and he hasn't had sex in ten years because his wife was so sick, but........(blushing) it seems that both of our bodies are waking up and remembering.............." (hides her head down on her arm on the table she is so embarrassed.  So we all had to tease her a bit more, but we are very happy for her.

She was sitting next to me and I hugged her and said, "Look...at our age...who knows how many years--days even--that we have left. Enjoy the life together and the closeness and the love that it brings."  and I got tears in my eyes.

She acts like a 16 year-old girl.  She is so giddy with love.  I so remember that feeling with Fred.  I guess no matter how old we are---when we fall in love---it is like we are teenagers again--with all the feelings.  

I am very happy for her.
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On the way home, I stopped at my best friend Arlene's house. Her kids have finally cleaned out the barns and house and were having an estate sale.  I wanted to get something personal of Arlene's and also get something for Bethie (who is out in San Diego).  

I got a couple baskets, a couple of Christmas ornaments, one with her name on it and a couple with "Merry Christmas from Byron," on them--Bethie and my home town.  

Then I got the library table that I had given Arlene forty-six years ago.  It was my grandma's and the time I moved into her home, I didn't have a need or room for it.  Arlene liked it, so it was hers.  It stood by a window in her dining room all this time.  Kathy wanted to give it to me and I refused.  I told her and her brothers to figure out how much "storage" for all that time cost.

Her youngest brother (my Jen's age) said, "Well--how about ten dollars a year?"

"Are you kidding?"  

Her other brother (my Karen's age) said, "I think one hundred dollars sounds about right."

"Look you little Brat--if I HAD a hundred dollars I sure wouldn't buy some old scratched up table!  I'd get a new one."

Then Arlene's daughter Kathy (my Pammie's age) said, "How about five dollars?"

Then I said, "How about twenty?"

They all said, "no!", but that's what they got!!!

It's going back to my grandma's house.  Pammie will pick it up Saturday, at the end of the sale.

Then there were  hugs and kisses all around and I turned to go and said, "I love you kids."  and they all chorused in with, "We love you too, Aunt Judy."  and off I hiked back to my car--tears running down my cheeks and dripping off my chin.

Our two families did so many things together--from high school when Arlene and I doubled dated with our guys, to being in each other's weddings--having our kids at the same time--getting them baptized together--going on trips and vacations and camping and ....well, you can see.  

We were family--she and I closer then sisters, if that is possible.  As I walked through her house and looked at their stuff---there was the granny square crocheted tree skirt that we both made--sitting side by side at her house, working on it.  There was the crocheted Christmas tree we made--sitting side-by-side at my house--cussing every time we had to pull out a row because, as she said, "This GD thing isn't turning out like it should!  Are you sure this pattern is right?"

"Yes, dammit--the pattern is right.  YOU are making your stitches too loose!"

Holding on to each other when our Mother's died.  Holding on to each other when our nephews died.  Squeezing each other hands hard, trying not to cry when our kids graduated high school and got married. Her and her husband holding me up when Gary and I got divorced and then years later, welcoming Fred as if he were family.  Memories--just tear me up.  It's gone--it's all gone!!!

Damn those doctors, twenty years ago.  When she wanted a hysterectomy and they wouldn't do it!  She never would have died from ovarian cancer.  She would have been at the lunch today with all of us.  We probably would have ridden over together and stopped back at her house and chatted for an hour.

DAMN!!!
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I stopped on the way home at a vegetable stand out in the country.  Unattended, as they are around here.  We have the honor system--always have had and it works very well.  I was a bit confused and didn't have a calculator.  Sweet corn was $4.50 for a dozen ears--I only wanted 2.  Beautiful big tomatoes, were 3.50 for a box of five--I only wanted 2.  So I dropped a five in the money box and wondered if I had short-changed "Mary B. Vegetables For U, Since 1987".   When I got home I calculated:

   $4.50 divided by 12 - 38 cents an ear.  I got two = 76 cents.
   $3.50 divided by 5 = 70 cents a tomato.  I got two = 1.50 

I owed $2.16, I paid $5.00--guess I didn't cheat her after all, LOL.  

HEY--as everyone who knows me knows--I am no mathematician!!!!!
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Tonight, I went out around 10:00 to put a couple of cards in the mail box.  The full moon was so gorgeous, that I stopped and howled up at it.  Just then, I heard Tami's say, "YES!"  She was sitting, on her porch, in the dark! Scared me to pieces!!!

I found out what it will cost for me to get the minimum 50 copies of my print book.  With shipping and fees, it is kind of scary, but perhaps.  I don't know.  I will let the offer sit for awhile. If it is in THE PLAN, then God will tell me how to raise the money.  

You know what--I have found out in the last two to three years, it is a lot easier if you just give this kind of stuff to God and see how it all plays out.  I have been a control freak for 30 some years--actually letting go of control, fear and anxiety is really so much easier. 

It's like the Little House On The Corner--10 years ago I would have HAD to move there and I would have gone in debt forever to do it.  Or make a quick decision and rented it and then not be able to keep it up.  Now--when I realized that it was not possible, I just smiled and figured it was all for the best and have become even happier right here where I DO live.  It's even that way now with the step-mother's Will.  I'm like, "Whatever."

Amazing!!! You have no idea how I have changed--just in three years.  I guess an unexpected death of your loved one will do that to a person.  You just gotta realize someday that---there is very little we can control in our lives.  Better to let it go and truly believe that whatever happens, is the best, in the long run.
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See ya--Jude

3 comments:

  1. I've been to that railroad depot. It's truly amazing and I'm glad the good people had the sense to preserve it as a museum.

    That's a great story about Liz and her soon-to-be new husband. Thanks for sharing it. Love always finds a way.

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  2. That depot is lovely, and so is the great story about love - whenever we find it, it's glorious.
    Thanks for a great post - you got me teary, but that's okay. Great lessons learned in life. I'm working on it :-)
    Still so hard to leave my son's decisions about homework as a SENIOR to him. I want him to avoid the trouble I can see coming, but I guess after I warn him, it's up to him. It's a good thing we have great friends in this life to help us let go!

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  3. I totally relate to your thoughts about Arlene as I have those precious memories of my Arlene Kay. It's so hard to lose a best friend.

    Also, I have turned everything over to the Lord. Well, let me put it this way, I try to. :)

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete