Sorry for causing some of you concern.

I am fine!

I've just has so many things worrying me, plus I'm working on a genealogy and a friend whose genealogy I did, wants two more print-outs.  I ran out of ink and can't get any more until end of week.

I need a new water heater, around $1300.00 and a new exhaust system on my car...got the estimate today, $391.12.  

Car insurance went up as did health insurance.  Gas prices around here are high, as are food prices.

My time is pressured and my finances are causing stress and.....that's my excuse for not posting.
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My Gosh--here it is Ash Wednesday and we are in a bitter cold system with snow---still---like we've been since January.  I love winter, but this is starting to get me down.

My life-long church has just come through a very (to me) scary time and I've been worried and stressed about it since last fall when I first heard about it.  If you are a Methodist than you know what I am talking about.

I've been de-cluttering my house and got stalled.  I only have this computer room left, but I have no motivation to get to it.
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What can I tell you that is good news?  Physically I am well.  My blood test was great--as usual.  My lung CAT scan showed the nodules had not grown a bit, still the size of my little fingernail and at -1% of ever becoming malignant.  I do have some gall bladder "gravel" which causes me a bit of pain in my right side.

The cats are doing well, as are my kids and grands.  Family being well is all that matters to me, so I should be happy.

BUT--the depression runs deep and lasts long.  I've fought it since I was 31 and the financial stress just makes it worse.

I tell myself that my faith is deep.  To just give all my worry to God and everything will work out.  I do believe that, but when all this stuff hits me and I see no answers, because I'm one of those people that needs to figure everything out, than I know my faith isn't as deep as it should be.

I try and try.  Everyday I wake up with the resolve not to worry, to make it a good day, to trust and believe and by the time evening gets here, I'm just tired and worn out.

Plus--this Sunday we leap forward an hour...................that alone puts me in a confused state for about 2 weeks.

But--I'll be fine.

Tuesday I had blood drawn in preparation for my doctor's appointment yesterday.
Wednesday, I jumped on-line, into my Patient Portal so I could see the lab results.
You know me.  I like to know BEFORE I go to the doc, just so there are no surprises.
I do have control issues.

The nurse did all my vitals.  I am still 5' 9 3/4" tall--no shrinkage in the last few years.  Then the doc rolls into the room, holding my lab results in his hand and says, "Well, there's nothing I can do for you.  You might as well go home."  He is always so jaunty--personally, I think he has a touch of hyperactivity.

So I asked, "Did you find a cure for Tinnitus.....arthritis...or this hand tremor?"

"Nope," he says.

"Well then, I guess I might as well go home."

He was half-way out the door before he remembered,  "Guess I oughta check your heart and lungs, right?"

He did and I came home.
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While this is all well and good--my blood results always are, I wonder about what is going on inside.  Yes, the blood results show that my kidneys and liver are functioning as they should.  My Thyroid is perfect, as is my Pancreas and Glucose levels.  My Cholesterol is nice and low, but.....................none of this shows why, every once in awhile, I get a sharp pain on my right side, where my gall bladder is located, or on my left back, right over my kidneys.

What causes that?  He told me once that as long as the pain doesn't last, there is no problem.  He predicts I will live into my 90's.

What does he know?  He's just a primary care doc and nowadays, they don't know much.  If there is a problem, they ship you off to a specialist.

This whole idea of me completing my 80th year in mid-June has me freaked out--as if I can do anything about it.

I've never considered a person elderly until they are in their 80's.  So, in my mind, on my birthday, I will officially be elderly.

It's all my sister's fault.  Last June on my 79th birthday she said, "Just think.  You are in your eightieth year."
Ever since then, when someone asks me my age, I say 80.

ARGGH!!

When I turned 70, I requested from this doc and got an abdominal ultra sound.  I wanted some sort of reassurance that my internal organs were okay.  I'd like to get another one.  BUT--nowadays, the doc has to come up with a good reason because Medicare doesn't want to pay for these types of tests unless there is a suspected problem.

Maybe if I complain about the pain in my right side, which isn't there now and hasn't been in a few weeks, I could get the ultra sound.  Then I would know that everything is all right with my innards.

If they found something wrong, what would I do?  Freak out!

Maybe I am better off not knowing?

Hi there.  This is Nanook of the North.

Like a few others, we had snow, then freezing rain, then more snow and then more snow.  Dan the Snowing Clearing man has showed up to my house each of the last two days and I have told him, "No!"  I have no where to go and today, it is supposed to be 45 degrees and rain, which I figured will clear off my car and a lot of my driveway.  Besides, I don't have $20.00 to pay him.

He goes to Dar's every day.  She insists he comes if we get an inch of snow.  She wants her car and her driveway cleared, even if she isn't going anywhere.  He makes enough money off her that he shouldn't miss by not clearing mine.  

My dental appointment for this afternoon was canceled, YAY--so I have no place I need to go until next Tuesday for my pre-wellness check, blood work.  I am running out of food, so I might run down about 1/2 mile to get a Subway, as I have a gift card there.

I'm just having a great time working on a genealogy, so I don't care if it snows a foot--I can sit inside, work and watch it falling outside my windows.
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The sun came out and when I hauled my garbage out to the street for pick-up, I swept all the snow and ice off my car and pushed the snow shovel along to make a path from my porch to my car.

Then I sprinkled some Ice Melt on it and by the time I took off, around 3:30, that path was clear.  I drove on down to get a Subway for supper.

Dan the Snowing Clearing Man stopped by around 4:30 and wanted to know if I wanted him to clear off the other side of my driveway.  I told him, "No.  It will be melted in a little while.  At least by May first."

HAH--that kids wants money, but I don't have any to give.

Tuesday, I got a beautiful e-mail from Jennifer.
It was very newsy and upbeat.
She told me about her jobs (4), working 64 hours a week, but mostly from home.
Told me a bit about progress on their new house.
Told me about what each grand kid is doing, where they are all going on their Spring Break.
It took up the whole page.
Everything I've been wanting to know.
I can't tell you how glad it made my heart.
She is now sending me $100.00 a month to help out. Which does help as my health insurance and car insurance both went up.  
There goes that $100, with nothing left over for fun.
But I am so grateful.

I make all my health appointments in February.  Got my glasses, got my hair cut, went to my yearly pulmonologist appointment.  Next week dentist, then blood work and yearly wellness check-up.  I need to make an appointment to see a dermatologist--haven't been in 5 years.

By then, it will be March and spring will be on the near horizon.

If I had money, I would hire a companion.  Not to live with me, but near me.  Preferably a male companion.  Someone around 65-68, who didn't drink or swear.

Someone who would drive me to the grocery store, let me out at the front door, put all the pop bottles through the bottle return, while I shopped, push the cart out to the car, load the trunk, drive me home, haul all the groceries inside and put them on the kitchen counter.

Someone who would come over and watch a basketball or football game with me.  Preferably a Michigan State fan.  Play a game of Backgammon or Cribbage.

Someone who would haul all the stuff out of my cupboards and closets so I could go through it...deliver the donations to Salvation Army, haul out the garbage can, mop the kitchen floor, trim the bushes, weed the gardens, clean the ceiling fan, wash the windows, mow the lawn, and plant the Purple Redbud tree I want to get.

Someone who, in May, would drive me to Nag's Head, the Outer Banks of North Carolina, where I would rent the same cottage on the beach that Fred and I stayed at, but for a month, instead of a week.

Someone who, in September, would drive me to Vermont and then back along the Canadian border to Niagara Falls.  I've been to the Falls 7 times, but I want to see them one more time.

Someone who, next June, would drive me through the Canadian Rockies to Alaska.  On the way home, I'd want to drop down and see Mount Rushmore, one more time.

While I was traveling, I would hire someone to come live in my house and take care of the cats.  Preferably a female.

If I had money, that's what I would do for the next 16 months.

January 31, 1994.  It was a Monday.  The outside temperature was -20 degrees.

Mail delivery was made.  Businesses were open.  Colleges and Schools were open.

I went to work that day, dressed in a winter dress and heels.

It's not that cold today and yet.................the weathermen keep talking about the Wind Chill factor, so everyone is afraid for their lives 

I wish they'd keep the Wind Chill factor to themselves.  It's cold outside.  All I have to do is look at the thermometer and know that it's too cold to be outside for any length of time.  I think we are all smart enough to know that if it is -12 outside, that it's cold.  We don't need to hear that the Wind Chill is -35--what's the difference?  It's too cold be to outside!

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My thermostat is sitting on 72 degrees--I don't change it for summer or winter...72 all the time.  The gas company had told everyone not to use their programmable thermostats.  To set their thermostat on "Hold".  I've known this for years.  I used to have and use a programmable thermostat and found, that if I had it set to go up in temperature before I got home, it took more gas to heat it back up than if I had just left it on 72 while I was gone.  Same with cooling in the summer.

Furniture, drapes, floors, walls--everything in a house cools or warms up.  When the thermostat changes, it takes longer to cool or warm those things in the house and thus uses more gas, than if the temperature held at a certain degree.

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Oh well...as you've all heard...the Polar Vortex decided to take a vacation from the Arctic Circle and come on down "south" for a visit.  No mail delivery.  Government offices shut down.  All colleges and schools closed.  Our Governor advised us to set our thermostats to 65 to conserve natural gas.

Then a doctor came on the news to say that low a temp in a house could be harmful to young children and the elderly.  That it is possible to get hypothermia inside!

I wasn't about to turn my thermostat down to that anyway.  I did set it on 71 and that was comfortable and my furnace didn't come on all that much.

So tonight and tomorrow, the Polar Vortex is going back home.  It is predicted to be in the 40's this weekend and 50 on Monday--some 80 degree shift in temperatures.  We'll be getting our flip-flops and shorts out on Monday.

Then this summer, the weathermen will start in again.  "Today it is 85 with the heat index at 110."  It all just makes us feel worse!!!

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I am continuing with my Swedish Death Clean (that is a real thing.  You can Google about it.)  Another 3 bags and the garbage pail of stuff I will never use again in my life and 4 medium boxes to take to the Salvation Army--when they re-open.

Kitchen and living room are done.  The bathroom is half done--I ran out of allowable space of what the waste management people will pick up.  HAH!

Then I start in here and this room will be the most time consuming.  I have 5 plastic storage boxes--1 of cross stitch patterns, 1 of crochet and knit patterns and 3 containing afghans for Jennifer's kids.  I think I am going to get 3 zippered plastic sweater bags for the afghans and UPS them all to Jennifer.  I was going to wait until each grandkid turned 16, but am ready to see them gone.

My sister wants to come down and go through the cross stitch patterns and when she is done...I am throwing all the patterns out.  I have a 3-ring binder with my favorite baby afghan patterns in it and if I want to do a cross stitch--I will just buy the kit.

I used to have an extensive library.  I had every copy that Danielle Steele wrote, Nicholas Sparks, Stephen King.  I cleared them out a few years ago and donated them to the Salvation Army of sold them on E-bay.  Now I have about 20 books and I need to weed through them again.

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I also have to update my funeral plans--for the umpteenth time.  The funeral home I wanted to use has burned down and not going to rebuild.  I wanted my funeral held from my hometown Methodist church, but now that the Methodist Church is destroying itself from the top down, I don't know if I want my funeral from there.    I could have my funeral from a near-by funeral home, but the nearest one does not do very good "work" and since I want a whole lot of singing, it needs to have a piano.  At my funeral, I want more singing and less preaching.  At least I have my grave stone all set out at the cemetery, so no worries there.

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Now, we get to face, what is to me, the longest month of the year.  February.  Up north, February can be and usually is gray, dark and dreary.  The snow melts away to uncover everything dead and dirty.  It can be very depressing and bothers some people.  That used to be.  I felt I might not make it through February, I was always so depressed and lethargic.  Seems to help that I now have an Ott Daylight Floor Lamp that I sit under to do my handwork.  I don't get depressed anymore, but still......the month seems awfully long.

When I picked up my new glasses last Friday and couldn't see through them, Miss Snippy at Walmart inferred I didn't know how to look through progressive lenses. I told her I have been using progressive for 20+ years. She told me to take my glasses back to my eye doctor because his prescription might be wrong.

Wednesday I went back to the Ophthalmologist--an eye doctor M.D. and they checked my glasses and found out what was wrong. The area used to look at computer and for reading were too small. They wrote her a note and back up to Walmart I went.

I got Miss Snip again--she remeasured my eye placement and said the lenses were exactly as the prescription read. I asked why everything was blurry unless I lifted the glasses up higher on my face.

She then decided I needed to come back, with my old glasses and my new glasses and they will check to see if they need to make new lenses.

I thanked her and smiled a lot, but she is a cold one. Probably hates working with old crotchety people--even though I did not complain and honey was dripping out the corners of my mouth.

So, to soothe my soul I bought myself a nice hot hamburger for supper....and French Fries.

Thursday I had to pick up a prescription at Walmart so I also went back to the eye glass section. Miss Snippy was busy with another customer, so I got a new guy named Joe.

He looked at the new glasses. He looked at my old glasses.

He had me try on each pair and he proclaimed: "The frames are too big. They rest on your cheek bones and that places your sight lines at the wrong position for your eyes."

So Joe trots over to the frame display, brings back 4 styles, which I try on and he and I decide on a frame style.

When I took a closer look, I realized it is nearly the same style I have been wearing for the last two pair--8 years.

Gold wire across the top, rimless on the bottom with adjustable nose piece. Only the ear stem pieces are a different color.

HAH on me!

$300.00 for new glasses and no one will even notice.

It's okay. I only wear glasses in the house, so it doesn't matter--just be nice to have a bit stronger lens the better to see you with, My Dear.

Joe solved my problem in less than 35 minutes.  I will get new frames and lenses and it won't cost me anything.
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We didn't get our Indian Summer warmth in October and by the looks of it, we have missed the January Thaw.  I am thoroughly convinced the Wood Chuck is dead in his burrow and we will miss out on his spring prediction.

It is bitter cold here--air temperatures and with the wind chill--hypothermia can set in as quick as 10 minutes.  It is predicted that next week will be dangerously cold.  Below zero air temps with the wind chill bringing them down into the -30 degree range.  Plus a foot of snow predicted to fall on us next Monday.

I don't mind being snowed in.  With the bitter cold, I won't be going out with my car anyway, so I might as well stay inside.  I fear things like a power outage--although we have only had one that lasted 2 hours since I've lived here.  All our lines are buried in this park...however, if a big transformer out on the highway went out--we'd be in trouble.  So glad my sister and son Mark have whole house generators.
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I don't want to get political, but I am sick at heart with the new abortion law that New York state passed.  A child can be aborted and killed up to the time it is born?  They say it is for the sake of the mother--if she had a problem delivering, they could take apart the baby inside her.

That simply is not true.  At that stage, every gynecologist in the United States says they would do a C-section and deliver child and mother safely.

You know, if this was a law, having to do with dogs/cats, the animal rights people would be up in arms.  I bred my dog, but a week before she was to deliver, I changed my mind and wanted the vet to remove those puppies and kill them.  I'd be put in jail for animal cruelty!!!!!

I can see the future....your child is 8 months old.  You discover they have Autism or Down's Syndrome.  You don't want to be saddled with that, so you just make arrangements to have the child put down.  The Law will state that it is okay up to the time a child celebrates his first birthday.
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You don't see that?  Too Dystopian for you?

A child is as much alive at 8 months in the womb, as he is at 8 months in the cradle.  What's the difference?

Our society is becoming barbaric and more and more evil.