Sorry for causing some of you concern.
I am fine!
I've just has so many things worrying me, plus I'm working on a genealogy and a friend whose genealogy I did, wants two more print-outs. I ran out of ink and can't get any more until end of week.
I need a new water heater, around $1300.00 and a new exhaust system on my car...got the estimate today, $391.12.
Car insurance went up as did health insurance. Gas prices around here are high, as are food prices.
My time is pressured and my finances are causing stress and.....that's my excuse for not posting.
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My Gosh--here it is Ash Wednesday and we are in a bitter cold system with snow---still---like we've been since January. I love winter, but this is starting to get me down.
My life-long church has just come through a very (to me) scary time and I've been worried and stressed about it since last fall when I first heard about it. If you are a Methodist than you know what I am talking about.
I've been de-cluttering my house and got stalled. I only have this computer room left, but I have no motivation to get to it.
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What can I tell you that is good news? Physically I am well. My blood test was great--as usual. My lung CAT scan showed the nodules had not grown a bit, still the size of my little fingernail and at -1% of ever becoming malignant. I do have some gall bladder "gravel" which causes me a bit of pain in my right side.
The cats are doing well, as are my kids and grands. Family being well is all that matters to me, so I should be happy.
BUT--the depression runs deep and lasts long. I've fought it since I was 31 and the financial stress just makes it worse.
I tell myself that my faith is deep. To just give all my worry to God and everything will work out. I do believe that, but when all this stuff hits me and I see no answers, because I'm one of those people that needs to figure everything out, than I know my faith isn't as deep as it should be.
I try and try. Everyday I wake up with the resolve not to worry, to make it a good day, to trust and believe and by the time evening gets here, I'm just tired and worn out.
Plus--this Sunday we leap forward an hour...................that alone puts me in a confused state for about 2 weeks.
But--I'll be fine.
Glad you posted. I've been wondering about you but figured you got lost in genealogy research again. This winter is getting all of us Michiganders down. But unlike you I can't WAIT until daylight savings time.
ReplyDeleteDo you think the Methodist Church will split in two?
There are plenty of Liberal Methodist churches for people with that bent to go to. I just didn't like the idea that pastors would be forced to perform same sex marriages even if it went against their beliefs or small churches like we have out here, would have to accept a gay or lesbian pastor. I think when a denomination changes their life-long discipline/doctrine to accommodate modern social issues, they are getting away from the scriptural principles they were founded on. That to me would break up the church. If people want a Liberal church, there are many for them to attend. Our motto is, "Open minds, open hearts, open doors"--we accept everyone to come worship with us. We just don't want things that are non-scriptural, or go against our doctrines, shoved down our throats.
DeleteI'm Methodist, Judy, but sadly (maybe since I've been pretty busy with family) I had not heard about the changes. I agree with you l00%. :(
DeleteLuckily we are Facebook buddies so I know you are alive and busy! By the time you blog, I know all of the topics.
ReplyDeleteOnward and upward. You always work things out!
Snowing in Portland today. And tomorrow.
Like your friend, I usually have read what's going on in your FB posts. I just wish I could help you; it's depressing enough without having so much to deal with. I had no idea a hot water heater was so much! Of course, it's been five years since we moved here and the one Patti bought wasn't anywhere near that price. Yikes! Is there any chance that you could buy one that somebody is trying to sell around where you live?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to pray extra hard for you!
xoxo
I sometimes take a worry or two and walk to the ocean and ask God to take the worry forever and I release it there. It works but the worries come sneaking back sometimes so I know what you mean. Our faith is great but the struggles remain. I hope your week turns out to be full of good news.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are having so many worries. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I agree with you about the church. I don't understand why people can't just go to another church. So many that are waiting with open arms to marry anyone. It is very upsetting things have gotten so out of wack.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're back! We've had rain all winter and so thankful it wasn't snow! And now come the March winds, trying to dry up the mud, but rain is in the forecast again. I get the "blues" quite often and find myself being less interested in things. Hand tremors are affecting my quilting abilities; sometimes I feel like packing things in a box and letting someone else deal with them someday. Gosh! I'm sounding depressed!
ReplyDeleteI'm not Methodist, but I've seen splits in churches over stupid little things. It's really sad.
Glad you posted. I had been checking, too. I figured you were still working on a genealogy, hut wanted to know for sure!
ReplyDeleteWe're Baptist, and I just googled the Methodist thing to see what was going on! I hadn't heard, and I agree with you. If it is forced, it would seem like, well, the devil's work.I won't be surprised if our Southern Baptist churches get threatened with it, as well. Surely there are enough churches for everyone! I don't understand why core values that were established long, long ago are being threatened by liberal thinkers. Like our "outdated" Constitution! Things going on are enough to get us down! We've had a really cold winter, too, and even though we keep the thermostat at 67, our bill was outrageous and it will be for March, too, I guess!
Will someone let you make monthly payments on a hot water heater? It does seem to pour when it rains, (or snows) this year.
I've been in and out of depression for nearly as long as I remember. It seems that no pill has ever really helped it much, but have you spoken to your doctor?
I worry when Ernestine doesn't post, too. She's very frail, too, and it's been a week since she has posted.
I'll remember you in my prayers, Judy!
Glad to hear from you, Judy. I was wondering where you were. Sorry to hear about all your worries. Financial stress is terrible.
ReplyDeleteWe have sunshine here, temps in the low 20s at night and low 40s during the day. It could be worse. March is always unpredictable.
I like everyone above was concerned when I hadn't seen a posting from you. Also hadn't heard about the Methodist fiasco until your post, but I agree with you about it. Sorry to hear about the water heater, I had to replace my driveway(there was serious damage underneath, runout, and eventually it would have collapsed) -- who knew concrete was so $$$$
ReplyDeleteawww, good to see you today judy!! are you receiving all of the financial aid you qualify for?? i know there are a lot of programs that help with utilities, medicine, food. and i thought one of your children was going to help?? also, churches will give cash to those in need of help, at least here in my area they do. and they also have food banks, i know you don't get much in food stamps, perhaps visiting some area churches would help!!
ReplyDeletewe have "senior services" in our area, they look at your finances and offer lots of ways to get assistance!! i hope you get some help!!!
Glad to hear you’re fine ...... except for all the concerns weighing on you and wish you didn’t have them. Hope you’re prepared for a bit more winter ‘cause storms keep coming to us on their way east and you’re likely to make their acquaintance. Hang in there — spring will get here with warmer weather eventually.
ReplyDeleteAs others have said, hang on in there and take care of yourself; your blog is one of my favourites. xx
ReplyDeleteYes...my FIL is Methodist...they just had the "vote"...didn't pass, thank goodness. And I agree with you, there's many other churches out there that agree with their beliefs. But I always say, hate the sin, not the sinner.
ReplyDeletehughugs
Dear Judy, like you, I am a worrier and sometimes find myself down in the dumps. The worse time was during the 10 months of active Meniere's Disease back in 2006 and 2007. The disease at its worse is terrifying and the doctor me that I did have a worse case. What got me through the acute rotational vertigo episodes that sometimes lasted for 24 hours was this mantra by Julian of Norwich, who lived many centuries ago. The mantra is as follows: "And all shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be exceedingly well."
ReplyDeleteI've lived a long life and looking back, I can see that all has turned out well in my life. Things that loomed large and dark ultimately resolved themselves in such a way that good came out of them. So that mantra speaks to the truth of my life and it always calms my anxiety. I hope you find what works for you. Peace.
I used to work in a United Methodist church. The pastor (a female) was clearly gay but not openly. Every one loved her but (not that this has anything to do with her being gay) she was the worst person I ever worked for! Then long after I left the church I found out that she left the Methodist church, was a pastor at another church and her partner was the woman who was the music director at the church I worked at, who was married with grown children at the time! LOL! Can you imagine what a scandal that would have been in one of your small town churches??
ReplyDeleteI hear you and I understand. Prolonged winter weather and the time change can cause lots of problems. You'll even out again though ... and the depression will lessen as God meets your needs (as He always does) and spring shines through, and you'll enjoy your outdoor activities again. Lots of sunshine! xoxo
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