title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Stressful Week

I've missed a couple days of not only posting, but reading any of your posts.  Sorry, hope to get to you tomorrow morning.

Tuesday I had to run up to the bank and stop and get a half gallon of milk at the little market.  When I came out of the market, put my car in gear, backed out and applied my brakes--the pedal went right to the floor!!

Have you ever had that sort of--feeling of fear (?)--my mid-section became ice cold and my heart felt funny.  No brakes equaled, money (I don't have) spent.

I managed to get the mile home--thanking God that this hadn't happened while on my way up to the Girl Friends luncheon.  I backed into my parking pad, came in and called the tow company.  They were out within the hour.

Exactly three months to the day 9/15/15, when I pulled into my driveway, my radiator lost all the fluid and I had a tow.  $86.50--thank goodness I have road service on my car insurance.

The service garage called in a couple of hours.  The rear end work I needed on my car, have been saving my money for and planning on getting one in March, needed to be done NOW.

Not only the brake hoses had ruptured, but the metal brake lines (that hold the hoses), had broken and probably tore the brake hoses.

Lucky for me, I just got a new credit card with 0% APR for a year and a $3,500 credit limit.

I picked my car up this late morning.  Too late to get to the Old School Pals Christmas luncheon.  The total charge on my new card?  $999.69.  $60.00 under the original estimate.

This lovely new piece of furniture I have so wanted for 3 years and was going to put on my new charge card, to pay off and build up my credit, is now riding on the underside of my car!!!!!



Plus, I haven't heard from any of my kids or my sister and I just am feeling so depressed and very teary!   I sat in the dark last night and had that old familiar of "why am I still here?" feeling.  Really, right on the edge of the deep, dark hole of severe depression.

It will be better after the Holidays.  Won't it?

I was very shaky today.  I don't know if it is from the stress of the car or just the feeling of being unwanted and ignored by family.  I used to be their center, especially at Christmas time and now--just an after-thought.

Oh well.  Nothing I can really do about it.  A Pity Party should only last for 15-30 minutes and this one is going on for over an hour.

Onward--ever forward!


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Continuing Mission

"Do your boobs hang low,
Do they wobble too and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot,
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulders,
Like a Continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang low?".

Well, yes, as a matter of fact!
===================
My girl friends and I used to sing that song when we had PJ parties.  We all laughed, not knowing that around 55-60, we'd be the models for the song.  Then, we used to sing it loudly at our weekend get together's at Arlene's up north cottage.  In our jammies and bounce around--except for Arlene who remained to her dying day, a nice B cup.  She often went without a bra.

My daughter Pam NEVER wears a bra.  She was late for my Dad's funeral because she was going through drawers, trying to find her one and only.  Thought she should because she was wearing a dress.  Pammie, still an A cup.

My Mother was a perfect 36C.  My Dad's mother had what she called, "quart jars"--I can relate.

Perky?  I never was.  My oldest grand daughter, Helene, has inherited my height and my overly pervasive bust. 

My grand daughter Madeleine--well, you've seen her photos in her ballerina suit--I think she has very little.  
======================
My friend Beth was wearing a bra, long before I was. Also my friend's Judy and Sandy and, well most of them.  Except Arlene and I...and even SHE got one before I did!

I don't think we had training bras, back in the day.  I remember one day, I stole borrowed one of my Mother's bras and stuffed it with toilet paper.  I went to visit my grandmother and she tried not to laugh as she asked me what I had on under my T-shirt. I was 13+ at the time.  She told my mother and thus the whole hunting for a bra for Judy occurred.

My Mother started lining the bottom of my suitcase with sanitary pads when I was 11 and first went off to church camp--or to visit an aunt.  

I didn't start my periods until I was nearly 14--all my friends already had theirs, including Arlene.  They would come to school, complaining about their cramps and I'd sympathize with consoling words, "Oh, I know.  I had mine last week."  LIAR!

Then when I did finally "mature", I never had a cramp in my life.  I never had any problems, until menopause (once again late--age55) when I tried to hemorrhage to death for three very long years.

But even then, I never had hot flashes--warms ones perhaps--which I thought were interesting and used to sit at work and feel them as they started in my hairline and advanced.  I would giggle, it felt so weird as I tracked it.

The only problem menopause ever brought me was, wanting to slap all those snotty 30 year old women I worked with.  I finally got some Premarin to fix that.  Took it for seven years.  I stopped on my own, shortly before the FDA recommended not taking it.  I've had no problems or ill effects from that or the birth control pill which I took for ten years.
<thank you, Lord>
====================
Where was I going with this?

Oh yes--after researching the bras websites--I see reviews that the French manufacturer, Epreinte is supposedly the best and----------only $168.00 for a bra my size, with a wider bridge.



So--over to the Bali website and got my normal Flower Bali, three sectioned, underwire in a 42DDD.  I'll see if it fits.  For $28.00 and free shipping, I can't go wrong.

Right?

I'll be sure and keep you abreast of my situation.
===========

https://www.wattpad.com/2748792-do-your-boobs-hang-low

Monday, December 14, 2015

A Mission

Now that I have finished my Mission of finding the perfect pillow--I go out into the world to find the perfect fitting bra.

This kind of amuses me as I was 14 before I needed to wear a bra and didn't really need one then but for the fact that ALL my girlfriends had one and I felt weird.  It was a lovely affair at 32AA.

When I graduated and married, I had grown to a 34A.  My best friend Arlene and I were the same size. Within three months of being pregnant, I was a 38D.
She got clear up to a B--"two fried eggs with the yolks broke," as her husband used to say.

Arlene had large hips.  Her husband preferred large boobs.  I had large boobs, my husband preferred large hips.  It was a source of many jokes over the years the four of us were together.

Anyway--I went from folding my arms over my chest to hide the fact I had no boobs, to folding my arms over my chest to hide the fact I had big ones.  I was truly embarrassed.

As my weight went up and down, the cup size changed very little  I do remember once, after my divorce when I lost fifty pounds, I got into a 36C and bought bras in every color manufactured.  That happy phase lasted for about 5 years.

Something odd happened at menopause.  I went from a 38 D to a 40D.  Same cup size, just bigger around.

Something even odder happened at age 70.  Now at an enormous 42DD.

Back down to a 40DD, when Fred died and I lost 30 pounds, but about a year ago, all of a sudden, my cups runneth over!!

I have worn underwire,three-section,  Bali Bow bras for years and years.  Now, all of a sudden, they aren't fitting right.  

In November I went on an internet search.  I found a bra that sounded just perfect.  40DD.  The Lilyette by Bali and a minimizer thrown in for good measure.  It was only $22.00--I am used to pay up to $40.00.

I came.  It had a wonderful "U" back which I liked, but it didn't fit.  Back it went, returned for a 42DD.

I came.  It didn't fit.  Back it went for a 42DDD--I had remeasured and was sure I had found it.

It came today.  It doesn't fit right.  It is going back.

So I went to the Her Room bra website to see what was my problem.

The "bridge" in the center of the bra(s) stick out.  They are supposed to lay flat against my sternum.  They do not.  They bulge out which is very apparent under any top I might wear.

Searching farther--I find reviews by women who claim the Polish company EWA Michalik makes the best bras for big-busted women.   Most Polish women are large in the boobie area, I guess. 

I got.  I calculated my measurements in cm's.  By their standards I would wear a 95C.

95C?  Is this not the scariest measurement you have ever heard of?  DDD is bad enough.

They will build you a bra using many measurements and it will only cost $200.00 EU--how ever much that is in dollars, I have no idea.  AND it only takes 3 months for it to get here!!

Back to the reviews.  Adorra?  Some of them have wider bridges.  I need a Balconette bra.  Something resembling a balcony, I guess?

I do have a large balcony.  If I am not careful, it catches food--I have the stains on my tops to prove it.

It's nearly 9:00 and I am tired of searching for bras.  It will resume tomorrow.

Either I find the perfect bra or I will set up a Go Fund me to pay for breast reduction surgery.  

EGAD!  Wouldn't that be most painful?

I refuse to go another year with my bra bridge sticking out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sunday, December 13, 2015

Weekend Doings

Our newest project is done and the pattern is for sale on Ravelry.  Check it out on:
http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/my-stuff-mini-bag


===========================
Look who stopped in for her daily visit.

Maisey had been to the Salon and had pretty little
Christmas bows in her ear hair. 
She has had Cushing's Syndrome for the last three years and is getting worse.  John doesn't think she will make it until Spring, but every time she sees me, she manages to hop up the porch steps to get to me.  She and I have a mutual love thing going on.
====================
One nice thing about Face Book--you can renew old friendships.  Not exactly a friendship, but a lot of my kids school chums have "friended" me on Face Book.  A sister to one of Karen's friends wanted to get together for lunch.  We've had to put it off the last two Tuesday's, but managed to meet up Saturday for lunch.  At the Golden House Chinese restaurant.  Now, I haven't seen this little girl since 1979 and a good thing I had her picture on FB or I would not have recognized her. (I call them kids--he's 54 and she's 53.)

I got there a bit early and waited inside.  She came in a few minutes later and right behind her was her brother, Karen's classmate and the kid that came to visit me last spring.  We had a good conversation and food, for about an hour, then went out into my car, so they could smoke and yakked for another 90 minutes.

These kids were from a very poor family, with an alcoholic father, that lived just up the road from us.  Both of them took 4-H gun safety, taught by my Daddy and Harold,, the brother, also played 4-H softball for us.  Of course they both have very fond memories and much love for my father.

Just another example of how he loved the kids he taught and they loved him and how he treated those kids far better than anyone in his own family.

I love how the "G" is covered up and it says, "Olden House" right next to my olden head!!!


This morning I woke up with terrible stomach problems!  I don't know if it was the Chinese food that started it, but I did throw my left-overs in the garbage.

I've felt punk all day.  Tired, noisy tummy, nauseous--let's just say, if I had a Colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow morning, I would not have had to do the prep!!!
================
We have set record temps for the last two days. December 13th--in Michigan--and 62 degrees?

Friday, December 11, 2015

Stuff and Such

My new humidifier arrived by UPS Tuesday night.  I hauled the heavy thing inside and put it together.  Filled it up with it's required 4 gallons of water and turned it on--high.  It ran for 90 minutes and shut off.  It hasn't come on since.

Is the thing not working?  No.  It runs just fine, but our outside weather has been so warm, that the inside is not drying out, so the humidifier is not coming on to add moisture.  

We have been in the 50's and going up to record 60's this weekend.  I think we got our entire winter snowfall back a few weeks, when we had 16.8 inches fall in 24 hours.

El Nino'--that little brat, is bringing wetter and cooler weather to the Southern states and drier and warmer temps up here in the North.  We love him, but my Southern friends are already complaining about the gray days, fog and rain.

On Christmas Day, 1982, we were having dinner and gifts at my in-laws.  We were to eat at 1:00.  We women were busy in the kitchen and when the food was ready, we couldn't find the men.  It was a warm day, so we figured they were out in the garage.

Nope AND my father-in-laws golf cart was missing. Their yard backed up to the 16th fairway on the local golf course.

At 4:00 (!!!!!) the men came in all jovial and laughing, greeted by three women spitting fire.  It was so nice and warm the men decided to play 18 holes of golf.  As my husband explained, "Now I can say, I've played golf every month--in Michigan!  Just think of that.  Michigan!"

I was not amused.

I think we are going to have another winter just like that one.
===================
So, I mailed Pam's Christmas card to her early this year.  I tucked some "help" inside, figuring if Christmas Eve is going to be at her house, and she hasn't worked in a month, she'd need some money.  

She called last night.  She had a second interview as custodian at the school and probably will be going to work in January.  She has been working for Jennifer (and getting paid) for the last two weeks.  She doesn't need any "help" by the sounds of it.

Can I drive out there and get that card out of her mail box before she sees it?  LOL  I kind of shorted myself to help her out.

Nah.  I'll be fine and she can use the "help" no matter what she says.

The rest of the Christmas cards go out today.  No "help" tucked in any of them.
==============
Do you remember me telling about my quest to find the perfect pillow to sleep on?

I just counted.  I have 6 pillows stored up on the bedroom closet shelf.  Six!!!

#1:An older pillow that should be thrown out.
#2:A pillow Karen gave me especially made for side sleepers.
#3:A pillow I got fitted to me at Art Van--with memory foam/cooling gel, that makes my head and neck hurt because it is so cold.
#4:  The My Pillow I fell for and bought.  Worse pillow I have EVER slept on.
#5:  My old Contour pillow--with the cut out neck piece and a "hole" for my head to rest in.
#6:  A "Guaranteed Best Pillow Ever" foam thingie.

Did you know?  You can't return a pillow after it has been removed from it's plastic casing.  Even if you only slept on it one night?

In desperation, I thought I'd give it one last try.  A Down pillow.

On Cyber-Monday, Amazon had a really nice sale on 50% White Goose Feathers and 50% White Goose Down Queen sized pillows--half-price--free shipping.

I jumped on that like a Goose on a June-Bug.  

I had to get two, although I only need one, but--I decided to live life to the fullest!  Someday I might get someone else sleeping over and would need a pillow?  

Normally $75.00 each, I got two for that price.  A lot of money, but................worth the chance.  Merry Christmas to me.

THE PILLOW IS WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They came in a zippered bag, about 2" thick, but I didn't panic.  Me with the experience of the Memory Foam mattress topper that needs to be released from its plastic prison to breathe and expand.

I plumped it up in my dryer and slept on it the night of its arrival.

THE PILLOW IS WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The feathers DO NOT poke through the covering, like the pillows I slept on as a kid.  We only used feather pillows--made by the grandma's in the family.

I have slept on it for the last four nights.  I have slept through the last four nights.  In the morning, my neck no longer aches--like it has for years.  My back no longer aches--like it has for years and, because of the Memory Foam mattress topper, my hips no longer ache from pressure points.

I am in love (really) with this pillow.  AND, I have two so if one wears out, I have a new one.  OR, I can leave the new one in my Will for Pammie!!

Win-Win!
===============
John was in an accident that totaled his Jeep SUV.  He was turn left, on a yellow light, and got the right front hit by an oncoming car--that he claims speeded up on purpose to hit him--like anyone would do that.

Anyway, good thing he wasn't T-boned or his Jeep would have rolled over and he would have been hurt.  His Jeep has been declared "Totaled".  He hasn't found out what the insurance company is going to pay him, but I can tell you, it won't be the high number he figures he is going to get.

And then I will have to listen to his rant about all that!

I asked him why he didn't stop at the yellow light and he said, "I drive that route everyday and I ALWAYS make a left turn on that yellow."  Idiot!

No one got a ticket.  The man in the F-150 BIG truck only had minor damage and he had the right-of-way, so no ticket for him.

Speaking of accidents--you remember me telling you of the Son-In-Law of my friend that was killed on the expressway because a young woman made an illegal U-turn in one of those emergency turn areas and entered the expressway in front of him, and then speeded away and left the accident scene.  Some stranger traveling up this way from Ohio, saw what happened and followed her until he could get her license number, or the police never would have found her, as she got off at the next exit and took off cross country.

Well, guess what?  She is getting NO jail time.  She is being charged with a misdemeanor--illegally making a U-Turn.  Restricted license for one year.  That's it.

I have advised my friend to have her daughter sue this woman in a Civil Trial.  Even if they get no money out of it, at least that B***H will have to face them everyday in the court room!

  

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Life

Left over silliness from the day after Thanksgiving.  Me dancing in my Senior Prom formal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z78yLAe9-TM&feature=youtu.be
====================
Sunday I attended the performance of the Nutcracker Ballet.  My grand girl Madeleine was the Snow Queen this year.  She is amazing to watch.  Tall and willowy, so graceful.  She has such stage presence.  She gets "lost" in her dancing and looks enraptured.

What is amazing to me, the whole family are so giving.  They do most things together.  When Karen and Mark took their 30th anniversary cruise--I thought, "How nice to get away.  Just the two of them."  Then I found out, they took all the kids with them.  Now if that was me, I'd want to be alone with my husband, but not them.  They love doing everything with their children--ages 30-19.

Maddie can get filthy, dirty cleaning up old tires from vacant lots in the middle of Detroit, and loves it.

Then she can get down and dusty in Guatemala, building houses, and loves it. 


Then she can study to be a nurse and work for an elder care business.  Take care of an elderly lady during the night, which entails changing the lady's diapers, etc, and loves it.

Then she can strap on her toe shoes and dance like a prima ballerina, and loves it.

She doesn't realize how pretty she is and she is so humble, she doesn't think she is doing anything out of the ordinary.   

I am so filled with awe at Karen's family.  There is never any discord.  I have never seen any of the kids act like "normal" teenagers with all the snottiness and angst.  All I can think of, it has to be their faith and their total togetherness.  Boogles my mind!


"People" are not supposed to be backstage.

At intermission, her dance instructor saw me through the window in the stage door and came out and got me.  Then she went and found Maddie and took this photo.

Usually we only see the dancers afterwards, when they are out of costume.
==============================
I had a ball yesterday!  Up to the Wal-Mart to get my tons of groceries for the month.  Up and down the aisles, I saw so many little, short old ladies, and two in electric buggies, that I could help reach up to the higher shelves and get what they needed.  I have never really liked being tall, but now--in my old age, I relish in it.  On my way out of the store, I took all my left over change from last month (that I usually throw in my jug) and dropped it in the Red Kettle.

I got a carry out guy to take out my cart and lift the heavy can of kitty litter into the trunk for me and when I got home, John was driving by and stopped and carried in ALL my groceries.

What a great day!!
=====================
Today's schedule is to get my hair cut at 2:30, stop at the post office to mail a Christmas prezzie to my "daughter" Chris in Texas and finish making my Christmas cards.

LIFE IS SO GOOD!!

Saturday, December 5, 2015

It Is What It Is

I'm almost afraid to go to see Madeleine dance in the Nutcracker on Sunday.  I imagine my radar will be up, looking for anything strange and I am not being a racist when I say, if someone comes in dressed in Muslim dress, I will probably be observing them.  

Actually, I have lived here almost 13 years and have never seen anyone in Muslim dress, and the Nutcracker is being held in an auditorium in a small town, but......................we get antsy, don't we?

How can you fight an ideology?  

I don't really understand why the President thinks climate change is causing this.  Give them jobs and they no longer will be Jihadists?  Stricter gun control laws so they can't get any weapons?

What?

California is a Liberal State, run by a Liberal Governor.  "They" have incorporated the strict gun laws that the President wants to put into law for the entire US.  Did those laws help those 14 dead people?

The media so careful not to call it an act of Terrorism, when by the 3rd hour of the coverage, when I heard the guy's name, I knew it was.  So I'm a profiler.  Big deal.

The true definition of Jihad is "striving for self improvement."  The Radical Jihadist interprets that to mean, "Holy War".  Kill ALL Infidels--including Muslims who do not prescribe to Sharia Law.

I took a Comparative Religions class back in 1983.  One of the religions studied was Islam.  I was interested in reading more.  When I read the Quran and the Hadith, I was stunned.  I told some of my friends about Muhammed's teachings.  They looked at me like I had three heads and were not a bit interested.  Why should they be, or me?  We lived in a farm community.  We had never seen, nor probably would never see a Muslim.  I only had met Jews because of my going to college.

Over the years however, I have never forgotten and years ago, when we heard of some of the earlier attacks and then 9/11, I had that "I told you so" feeling.

I had to almost laugh out loud when C.A, I. R.. representatives came on TV to say they had no idea that Sayed would do such a thing.  My neighbor's were saying, "Now look at them.  They are the nice Muslims."  I didn't tell them that C.A.I.R. is suspected to be a front for radical Muslims.  They came on the air so quickly--to get their "spin" out there.

The fact of the matter is, we could go "over there" and bomb every Radical Jihadist we could find and it will not change a thing, except kill our service men and women.  If there was only one Jihadist left in this world, he would soon find another sympathizer and then another and..................Radical Islam would be back in full force.

Now, Ass Carter wants to send women into combat?  What is going to happen the first time one of our service women is captured by ISIS?  She will be raped.  She will then be beheaded.  Her body will be dragged through the streets and you know darn well, "they" will have full video of the events and that video will somehow slip out and we all will see it.

Can you imagine the uproar this would cause in our Country?

There is nothing we can do about any of this.  Nothing our Country can do actually--except put back into force the detection, the tapping of phones, the observation and even then, "they" will somehow get through.  We could let 10,000 more Syrian refugees come into Detroit, I am sure none of them would be Jihadists!

Every time I hear that sound and see BREAKING NEWS banner come across the TV screen, I just get a chill.  It really can't be anything good.  I think we are going to hear and see that a lot more.  I actually think there will be more shootings as this Holiday season progresses.

The Jewish holiday starts and our Christian holiday right after.  Then of course there is all the New Year's Eve celebrations.  We are suppose to just go on with our lives and not be afraid of crowded situations?

The only consolation I have is that I have read THE BOOK and I know the ending.  The Temple hasn't been destroyed yet.  I just hope I am "taken" out of here before the BIG battle begins.