Feeling Contrary

I have stuff I want to do.  It does not include, follow-up visits to the cardiologist and primary care doctors.  I am alive.  My heart rate is nice and steady.  I feel fine.  I do not need my time taken up with people that will tell me that I am fine!!
=================
Dar came over earlier today.  The first words out of her mouth when she walked in---

"Did you see?  I got rid of all that furniture.  They came and took it all.  He is going to paint my bedroom in payment for the furniture."

"Yeah--I saw them."

"I have so much to do in that house.  I just don't know I'm going to get it all done.  I don't like to paint so I am glad he is going to do it.  Plus...I need to have someone come in and clean all the carpeting.  I need to have someone come in and clean all the windows and I need to get new curtains."

"You have a lot to do."

"Yes--oh...how are you feeling?"

"Great."

"You and I have the same thing...AFib.  Did they have to stop your heart?"

"No.  They did a cardioversion to get it back into normal rhythm."

"Yeah--I know.  They stop your heart to do that."

"What?  They do not!  They put a tiny little electrode patch over the upper part of the heart and send a tiny little shock into it and that gets is back into normal rhythm."

"Oh.  Well...they stopped my heart."

"Well, I guess we don't have the same kind of AFib then, do we."

"Well--you know me.  I am a rare case with every medical situation.  So mine is probably worse than yours."

"Probably."

"Are you on Coumadin?"

"Nope."

"Well, I have to take a blood thinner, so...I guess that means mine is worse."

"Oh...I take a blood thinner.  One of the new ones, call Xarelto."

"What?  They wanted me to go on that, but how can you afford that.  It's like several hundred dollars a month!"

"Yes...I know, four hundred a month.  The new Medicare Advantage insurance I signed up for in December covers it.  I pay six dollars and fifty cents a month for Xarelto."

"Well, I've got the best Blue Care insurance there is.  Why doesn't my insurance pay for it?"

"I don't know.  What is your premium cost per month?"

"Two hundred and fifty dollars.  What do you pay?"

"Nineteen dollars and ninety cents."

"What?"

"Yes and it covers my dental, glasses and hearing aids, plus all medical, hospitalization and prescriptions AND, I have a membership to a gym if I want."

"Oh...well there must be hidden costs somewhere in there that you just aren't aware of."

"I don't think so.  A lady from the insurance company called me to see how I was doing, asked if I had any questions and told me everything was taken care of.  So.............."

"Hm-mm.  I'm going to have to check into that."

"Maybe because you are such a rare patient...have such a large medical file...maybe you can't get the kind of insurance I have."

That shut her up and she left in about five minutes!  I am feeling contrary today!!
====================
Look what I got Saturday, from Jennifer.  She had it delivered to me as they left for their vacation early Saturday morning.  She had tucked in No Bake cookies and home made Chex Mix, which she knows I love.

Tulips she brought to the hospital for me

When she came to the hospital, she acted like we had just seen each other the day before.  We talked normally about stuff, about her upcoming move, about the kids and their vacation.  It's like the last two years never happened.  Maybe things are back to normal?  I hope so.
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Karen and Mark, older grand daughter Susanna and her hubs Derek are in Guatemala with Madeleine.  They already started building the house for a family there.  Plus Karen found out that a child they have sponsored through Christian Child Fund, for the last 10 years, lives only twenty miles away, so they are going to get to meet him and his family in person.

I gave Karen 50 bucks for their mission.  She didn't want to take it--I insisted.  Now I can, vicariously,  feel that I am helping too.  Of course, as I've written about before, this is no big deal for this family.  They are continuously either serving food at the homeless shelters in the area, cleaning up junk out of vacant lots in Detroit and building community gardens, or flitting down to Guatemala to build a house and a medical clinic.  They are an amazing family!!

I love how Susanna is holding that cement block like it weighs a mere 2#.  HAH!  They have their "we are tough" faces on.
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I got to Michigan Heart for my 4:00 appointment.  I was to see the cardiologist that was attending in the hospital.  I wanted to see my regular cardiologist (the one who saved Fred's life after his massive heart attack) but he was booked.  So--I asked if I could make an appointment with him in late June.

"You will follow-up with Dr. Bernstein today and if he wants to see you again...we can make another appointment with him."

"That's fine, but I still would like to make an appointment with Dr. Leonen...in late June."

"For what reason?"

"Because I want to talk to him."
<contrary bitch I am, but pleasant and with a smile>

"All right...hmm..how about June twenty-fifth at two-thirty?"

"That is perfect.  Thank you so much."

I go back to an exam room and answer questions from the nurse and get an EKG.  After a few minutes, Dr. Bernstein walks in.  This guy is about 5'6", if that and has the personality of a gnat.  I had noticed that while I was in hospital.

"You're EKG shows you are still in sinus rhythm.  You did very well with the cardioversion.  We don't expect any more problems, but if it happens again...we can put you on a prescription to keep your heart rate stable.  Do you have any questions?"

"Yes.  I can't use Advil or Aleve for my arthritis because I am on a blood thinner.  What would you suggest I use for occasional pain?"

"Tylenol."

"It doesn't work very well."

"Yes.  I know."

So he listens to my heart and lungs and carotid arteries and ankles and says, "Come back in three months."

"When I come back, may I see Dr. Leonen?  He's kind of my "go too guy."

"Certainly.  Make an appointment with him for around...oh...end of June."

"Thank you.  I will."
<hah!>

So after he left, I asked the nurse.

"I forgot to ask Doctor.  Do I have any restrictions on what I can do?"

"You can do anything you want," she said, "except play tackle football.  Being on a blood thinner, you don't want to take any hard hits or falls."  and she grinned.

So--onward and upward--ever forward!!

Resurrection Day

Today I am so grateful that a man, many thought of as a brilliant prophet and teacher or heretic and rebel, rose from the state of complete and total death, and walked out of that grave!  Then, more importantly, many weeks later, after many had seen and heard Him, as proof He was alive, ascended alive into Heaven with the promise that we will be there with Him and our believing loved ones one day.  Oh!  Happy day!
======================================

...an imagined conversation I thought of this morning..

Thomas, I’ve been looking all over for you.   Are you headed to Galilee?  

You aren’t?  I just saw Mary of Magdala, not even two hours ago.  She went to Jesus’ grave this morning and it was open and Jesus was not inside.  There was an Angel sitting there and he told her that Jesus is alive!  She looked around and saw Him, walking in the garden.  He talked to her.  Jesus talked to her, Thomas.  He wants all of us to meet in Galilee.  He’s going to come talk to us.

What do you mean you don’t believe me?  Mary saw him!  Don’t you understand?  Everything He told us was going to happen, has happened.  He is alive!

Why don’t you men ever believe what we women tell you?  We women and John all stayed with Him.  The rest of you all ran away and hid.  Mary is the first person He spoke too.  He told  her to gather all of us together.    Now---c’mon!

She is not crazy with grief!  No, she’s not hallucinating!  She saw Him and talked to Him and He talked to her!

She told Peter and John, and they ran to the cemetery, and saw the empty grave.  Later, they saw Him on the road to Emmaus and didn’t recognize Him until He spoke to them.  They are already in Gailiee  waiting for the rest of us.  I was there too, but left because Peter told me to come out and try and find you.  Do I have to drag you there?

You what?  

Oh, I see.  You thought He was our Saviour? You left your family…you left your job---you followed Him all this time, but when He died, you figured He had been lying, because the Messiah...the Son of God couldn’t die?  So...now you're mad?

Look at me!   

He.   Is.   Not.   Dead!

Oh....you doubt it?  You won’t believe it’s Him unless you see proof?  

What?  You won’t even believe then unless you see His death scars?  

You’re a real idiot, Tom! 

Look, Tom.  You know Him.  You have been with Him for three years!  You were there with all of us.  You heard Him.  We all had Passover supper together.  He told us exactly what was going to happen.  You should believe without having to have proof!  

Everything He said is true!  He is alive, Thomas.  Jesus is alive!  If you need proof, then come with me.  Let's go!

No?  You want to think about it some more?  Okay.  You just stay right here then.  That way you will never know. 

Whatever!  I’m heading back to Galilee. 

You can stay here in your doubt or you can come to Him in pure faith.

It’s up to you.  

Nobody is going to drag you kicking and screaming to Jesus.

It’s your choice.

<I walk away, shaking my head.  "Tom...you're a real noodge!">

Here's The Scoop

March 31,st--Tuesday evening--6:30.  I hadn't felt really well for about a week.  My heart started beating really fast and it didn't calm down.  I walked down to Pearl's, but they weren't home, so I walked over to Dar's and asked if she could drive me uptown.

"I just warmed up my supper," she said.  "Can it wait an hour?"

"I don't think I'd better.  Can you just run me up to the ER.  I think I am having an AFib episode."

"Okay--let me put this in the frig."

So I got in her car and waited.  Up we went and I told her to drop me off at the ER door and go home.  "I will call you later."  Knowing how she reacts, I sure didn't want her in the room with me!

They transferred me up to the hospital in Howell--a smallish hospital==nice, close to home--at 10:00.  I called her to let her know.

I got to ride in the ambulance!!!

They put me in the Heart Unit--with all the monitors blasting and beeping and carrying on.

Wednesday morning, I had an Echo and another EKG and then, they injected two large tubes of meds into my IV, hoping to stop the AFib.  Didn't work , although the heart rate was down, it wasn't regular.

Thursday morning, they did the Cardio-inversion (minor shock to the heart) and it worked.  Back in Sinus Rhythm.

Pammie brought me home Friday afternoon at 2:00.

AFib is no big deal!  It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the heart.  They don't really know what causes it,--too much caffeine--coughing too hard--stress.  Mine was caused because my Potassium was too low. (A battle I have had for the last 15 years).

The real problem is that it can cause a blood clot and/or stroke.  SO---I will be on a blood thinner for--I don't know--how long.

The good part is--that new insurance I got in December--that I was worried about?  Covers the new blood thinner meds--I am on the Arnold Palmer/Kevin Harvek/Kevin Neiland--Xarelto.  Cost?  $400.00 a month--mine costs $6.50 a month!!!!!!!!!!  I am so thankful I don't have to be on Coumadin--because you have to have your blood checked all the time and restricted in what you can eat--no salads.

Another good thing, I have been on 7 meds for the last 15 years--I am now on 4!!

Another good thing--Jennifer arrived Wednesday, with Tulips and Peeps and cross-word books and went into attorney mode and talked to all the docs and nurses, LOL.

Because of all the heart stuff, including AFib that I had been through with Freddie--I knew exactly what was going on and what they would do.  Plus--in the last two years I have become so unafraid of dying that I am accepting of whatever happens and I was never scared or even nervous.  In fact, I had a really great/fun time with the young docs and nurses!!

60 and Sunny Today--2" of Snow Expected Tonight!

Today, I am grateful for healers.

====================

I could not wait for the ortho surgeon to refer me to his physical therapy clinic, so this afternoon I drove to my Chiropractor.

It is NOT my shoulder, it is my neck.  My neck is very out of alignment, as is my spine.  I laid face down on the table, he went down my spine with the heel of his hands and such popping and cracking could be heard for miles.

Then I sat up and he went over my neck and down my spine with the "tapper"--which I call the "Woodpecker device".  Then he pushed here and there with his thumb and more tapper on my upper ribs in front (under my pectoral muscles).  Karen had told me three weeks ago that my right shoulder was higher than my left.

Twenty minutes, I walked out.  No pain in my shoulder or arm at all and only a slight soreness in my neck from the adjustment.  I go back Wednesday.

He is soooooooo good!

Zoomed up to Wal-Mart and got some milk and cheese and I think I will get through until April 3rd when SS hits my checking account.
===============
Then...Dar came walking in.

She had a colonoscopy early this morning.  An ordinary occurrence in one's life, right?  But wait. This is Dar!  Remember, she has the biggest medical file the hospital has ever seen, or so she has told me on numerous occasions.

She was fine when she got there, but fifteen minutes later, she started vomiting--except there is nothing in her stomach or entire system to vomit.  

Her blood pressure was 180/85--she had already told them it would be high.

They had a hard time getting the IV in because "I was so severely dehydrated."

She told them they were not to touch her until she was "out".

She finally, quit vomiting, or dry heaving, or whatever she was doing, so they wheeled her back.

She had her eyes closed and when she opened them, two tall doctor's were moving toward her.  She had a panic attack and started screaming, crying and kicking out at them, because, "I thought they were going to attack me." 
<can't you just see it?>

They backed away and a woman nurse (?) came up and tried to soothe her, wondering what was wrong.  So Dar, of course, told her, "I am an abuse survivor and I can't have men moving toward me like that!  It's on my medical record--you are supposed to know!"

That's all she remembers, so apparently while the nurse was calming her, someone else started the IV Versed/Fentenyl and knocked her out.

She is fine.  She has no polyps AND, the reason she had the colonoscopy is because she is so constipated.  After questioning her they found out that in the last six months, she has changed her diet and is NOT eating yogurt anymore, nor getting any fiber and not enough liquids.  So, the doc told her to start eating yogurt again, and drink a glass of Metamucil or BeneFiber everyday.  HAH.

She started getting colonoscopies in 1985, so it's not like this was her first one!

Abuse survivor?

She has never been hit by any man.
She has never had any man threaten her.
But--her mother deprived her of love because she never hugged her and her third husband, kept telling her she was unstable.  She had psychological therapy and they told her, because of her mother and husband, she had been abused.

So "ABUSE SURVIVOR" is stamped on her medical file. 

I tell you Dear Friends, this woman is not just weird or eccentric.  This woman IS unstable and is completely mental!!!

After she goes home from her visits over here, I feel like I'VE been abused!  LOL

Highlights of My Weekend

Today I am grateful for a tiny increase in our outside temperatures and SUN!!

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Friday night: 10:10 - 12:30am--Michigan State Spartans, ranked 7th in the NCAA Basketball Tourney, beat Oklahoma and went into the Elite Eight.  EVERYONE (including me) figured we'd be out in round two.

Saturday:  Merle came down to help me load the dollhouse, table and stuff in the car.  I do not see how he is going to be able to go back to work next month.  He is frail!!!  Remember last summer, how sick he got with all sorts of tests--nothing wrong with him except, HE IS TOO OLD TO BE WORKING SO HARD!!

I didn't think he was going to be able to get to the car AND I was holding up the other end of the, not-really-heavy , but bulky wooden-house.  In fact, I did most of the lifting and when we got to the car, I put one end of the doll house on the back seat, and had him climb in the other door and slide the doll house toward him, while I lifted and scooted it along.

He could not get his legs in the car.  He had to pick up each leg, under his knee and lift it into the back seat.  I felt bad for him.

================

Sunday--was going to church to hear the choir cantata, but sister called and wanted me to come out early.  So, into the car at 9:30 and on my way.

As I was driving out of town to get to the main road, a car came up quickly behind me.  I looked in the rear view mirror and saw it was a young man and his family.  He stayed right on my bumper, so, I gassed it up to 60mph (in a 55 mph zone).  We got to the main light, both of us turning left onto a busy road.

I put on my blinker to move to the left turn lane and he tried to get around me.  What the what?

I turned, he turned, then zoom over into the oncoming traffic left turn lane to get around me--thankfully no cars waiting in that lane--and off he went.

I was doing 62mph, he was way ahead.

This is a two lane road, so difficult to pass--and--up ahead, he was stopped waiting for the car in front of him to make a left turn--I had to stop also, but all of a sudden, he quickly zooms over to the right hand GRAVEL shoulder to get around the car.

"Wow.  This guy has a really bad emergency," I said out loud.

Up the road a mile and I see he is now waiting for the oncoming traffic so he can turn left--I pulled in behind him and stopped.

Where was he going in such a hurry?  The Bible Baptist Church!  Apparently a bit late for Palm Sunday service?

Now--I have always thought that we Christian's lead by example in our mundane daily lives.  We are kind and polite and responsible and this also includes,  how we drive!  He was in such a hurry to get to church to hear all about Jesus, that he endangered his own family and lots of people driving on the road.  It's a wonder he didn't meet Jesus on his way to church!!

As Forrest Gump would say, "Christian is as Christian does."

===============

No more incidences along the way.  As I passed other churches, all were ensconced in their pews--I could hear the Methodist's loudly singing, "Hosanna To Our King," (not really, but I knew that is what we'd be singing on Palm Sunday).

Drove up sister's driveway to park back by the garage.  I did not want her to look out and see the doll house in the car.  Stuck my head in the back door and told her to go into the living room and told Chuck to come help me.

Carried the dollhouse and table into the garage.  I figured they would want it out there to work on it--as the table needs reconditioning as does the house.  Then I called her out.

Well--she looked and started jumping up and down and clapping her hands like she was five years old!!!

"You brought me the doll house for me to take care of it for you?"

"No.  I brought you the doll house for you to keep---forever!"

"Forever?"

"Yes.  You always wanted a creamy yellow house with forest green shutters--go ahead and paint it yellow if you want.  Put shutters on it.  Put shingles on the roof if you want to.  Do whatever you want to."

"Shouldn't we keep it the same?"

"If you want too.  I've had it thirty years and now it is your turn."

"Who do you want me to pass it on too?"

"I don't care.  That is up to you.  Mother made it for US and....now it's all yours."

"Mother made it for you and then, I came along...."

"Yes and it was yours after I got married and then I took it back and now.........it's yours again."

"OH MY GOSH!!! Best birthday present EVER!"

Then she asked Chuck and I to bring it into the utility room where she could look at it and play with it this week. :-)

We had lunch and played a couple of games of UPWORDS, each of us wining a game, and at 1:30 I headed home.

<yes, I miss the doll house, okay?  but...it was the right thing to do.  She has two grand girls, 8 and 11, they will enjoy it>

========================

Sunday:  2:20 pm.  Michigan State Spartans beat 2nd ranked Louisville, in over-time, 76-70.  Never should have happened!  I was shaking the whole over time!  I still don't believe it!  Now, next weekend we go into the Final Four and play #1 Duke--who will beat us, no doubt in my mind!!

Bummed!

Today, I am bummed, but so grateful for people who can fix things.

================================

Yesterday, my shoulder hurt bad, but not as much as the day before.  Honestly, on Wednesday, I really thought I had a heart issue, because the pain was in my arm and back and jaw.  I was kind of scared.

I rubbed in a good amount of horse liniment (that Fred swore by) and woke up yesterday without too much pain.  Of course, the more I moved around, the more I did, the more it hurt.

More horse liniment last night and woke this morning with not too much pain.  It has localized in my shoulder now and down into my wing bone.  I have an appointment Monday at 2:30.

I had a funeral visitation, up in hometown, that I wanted to attend.  A 98 year old lady from my ex's side of the family.  I really adored her and knew when I went, I would also get to see my sisters-in-law and brothers-in--law.  We have stayed close through the years.

At 9:00, I turned on the shower and let it run and.........no hot water!!  The pilot light had gone out--this occurs about once a year--strangely, at this time of year.  I tore everything out of one end of my bedroom closet because the water heat is in a space, behind a fire proof door on the west end of the closet.

 You can see what a tight squeeze and you have to lay on  your tummy to see the end of the pilot thermocouple to light it.

I had one heck of a time trying to push down the gas button, while using my long candle lighter to light the pilot.  I tried four times and I just couldn't get it.  My shoulder was screaming.  I called the office to get one of the guys to come do it--a three minute job at most, but by law and because of insurance they aren't allowed.  Last year they were, now they aren't.






I called Pearl and asked if Merle thought he was able to do it.  I know he has back problems, but he said, he's be down after his eye appointment.

3:30--Guess I wasn't going to make the 4-6 visitation.  Plus, we were having some kind of mini-blizzard outside.  Merle came in and we headed back to the closet.

"Yep.  No problem.  I can get this.  Do it to mine."

He laid down on the floor, on his tummy, with two flashlights and the lighter.  I stood over him and straddle him and turned the gauge on to Pilot and pushed down on the gas in-flow button.  Nothing.  He tried five times and...nothing!  I could see that he hadn't a clue as to where to put the lighter--he couldn't or wouldn't or didn't know how to get his neck down that far!  If I could lay flat on the floor, I could have done it myself.

45 minutes later--4:15--I sent him home, sat down in my chair.  My shoulder and upper arm were burning.  I took a few deep breaths, asked God "WHY??", I wanted to just sit and cry for awhile, but I won't allow that, grabbed the phone and called the people who put in my furnace last year.  AAA Service.  They can come out this late afternoon.  $89.95 for the service call!  

$89.95 just to drive one mile here!

Parts not included.

I just sat in my recliner and rocked until the guy got here. 

I have $25.00 in my checking account.  I have no credit cards.  What am I going to do?
===================
Then I remembered, I had a $100 bill tucked away in an envelope in my desk drawer.  Last month, at this time, I had $150 in there, but had to break the $50 for pizza and $11.00 for Elise then had to get a jug of milk and some cat food.

The kid arrived at 5:15--really nice kid.  I sat on the end of the bed and asked questions while he worked--because when it happens again, I want to know what might be wrong.

"No problem with the thermocouple.  It needs to be a 2+ and it's registering 3.  Wiring is all right."

He took the flame lighter, hit the gas in-flow button and the flame roared into life.  YAY.

He put the water heater back together, along with the fire proof door that is so hard to take out and put back in.  Filled out the order paper, I signed, handed him my $100 bill, he gave me back $10.05 and we sat in the living room and talked for an hour!!

What a great conversation!

$89.95 to do a three minute job, that Merle could have done if he weren't so damn old!!!

BUT--the conversation I had with that young man and all he told me about his Mom and Dad, his wife and kids was worth more than $90.00 any day of the week.  Plus, he told me a new way to flush and drain my water heater--at least 8 steps less than I do, so the lesson was worth it :-)

Now--I gotta figure out how to put some more emergency $$$ back into that envelope!

Thank you, God.  You always provide.

A Pain In The Neck

Today I am grateful for............still trying to think of something.

===============================

...and if I could, I would say this:

"Mark, you will call your mother on Mother's Day, send her a card and a bunch of flowers and you will come and put down the ten bags of mulch she wants."

"Pam, you will have Christmas Eve at your house so we can all remember back to the years we lived there."

"Karen, you will have a family picnic at your house and it will be on my birthday.  Remember the BIG birthday party you all planned on giving me--4 years ago?  Well, this can take the place of that."

"Jennifer, you will call and invite your mother to every school, sports, or church function your children take part it.  You will also invite your mother to come over to your house for supper, once a month."

============================

 I have crocheted a dozen pair of slippers in the last 4 weeks.  These are for me because my other ones are wearing out and always were a bit too big.

If you remember, I go to the Chiropractor occasionally.  I have a recurring shoulder problem.  Well, actually 25 years ago, I ripped a ligament near my left scapula.  Every now and then this all flares up and hurts so much it makes me nauseous.

It has been hurting off and on for the last month--coincides with all the crocheting?  Maybe.

This morning I woke up at 3:00 with the most horrendous pain in my shoulder--neck--scapula; running  down my numbed and burning arm into my numb hand.  Left side--hm-mm.

At 3:30 am, I assumed it was a heart attack, middle of the night stuff is always scary, so I got up and walked around.  The pain lessened a bit.  I was not sweating, I was not dizzy, I was not nauseous, my heart wasn't doing anything stupid.  I took an Advil and went back to bed, laying on my right side.

At 6:00, I woke up again--pain as bad as before.  I got up, took another Advil and sat in my recliner for a while.  I rubbed some horse liniment on it and back to bed.

I woke up at 9:00 and it still hurt a bit, more up in my neck then shoulder.

I took a Naproxen.  Put my hot rice sock on it and sat in my chair for most of the day.

I decided not to crochet anymore--I have two pairs of slippers to make for CHRISTMAS--they can wait a while.  I decided to call the Chiropractor and then changed my mind and called my orthopaedic surgeon instead.  I do believe this can be helped with physical therapy and the only way I can get into his physical therapy office, is by a referral from him, and his physical therapy team is the very best around here.  April 2nd, 2:10pm

He will want to give me a Depo-Medrol (cortisone) shot, but I am opting out on that big, long needle, unless he puts me out with Versed first!!!

I am so tired today and just not "with it", in fact, it is hard to type this without a whole lot of mistakes.  It's like my eyes just want to close--and maybe I need to recline in my chair and take a short nap.

Hm-mm.  See ya----