It was the best of days, it was the worst of days

Karen called me two weeks ago to say that Jennifer was coming in for work related meetings and would be at Karen's on Sunday, the 28th.  We were all getting together and she would call me later with details and times.

She didn't call, so Saturday morning, I called my sister and asked if Jen was in and if we were getting together and what time.  

"Oh.  Didn't you get Karen's text?"

"How would I get a text?  I don't have a cell phone---remember?"

I keep telling these people!   When you send out an informational text, please either e-mail me, or phone me to let me know.  They text each other constantly!  I never know what is going on--which has left me feeling a distance between me and my family.

So--Jen was flying in late Saturday night and yes we were getting together on Sunday--at 11:30.  Just bring snacks--no big meal.

I scurried around and made the chip dip all the kids love and also a batch of Chex Mix, because Jennifer loves it.  I always used to make it for Christmas and I knew she hadn't had any in years.  I filled a plastic bag with some just for her--to take with her.

I arrived at 11:30, greeted warmly by Jennifer and Karen.  Then Karen looked at me and said, "Oh my gosh, Mom!  I forgot to call you!"

"Yeah, you inconsiderate brat!"
Did I really say that?  Of course not.

"I found out from Aunt Susan," I said, amidst more hugs and kisses.

Soon the rest started arriving.  My son Mark and Cindy and daughter Pam, all rode down together.  My sister Susan and her Chuck and son Adam.  No grandchildren--just my kids and me.  It was wonderful.

We all admired Karen and Mark's new addition and their beautiful fireplace.

 Had our snackies and settled in to watch the MSU/Maryland basketball game on their new 65" TV.

I kept wondering where Jennifer was and then I saw her.  Outside on the front porch.  A big deal for her law firm was going astray.  She was on the phone with her partners and then the clients.

I managed to snaggle the brats for a photo.  It's been 4 years since we've all been together at the same time.  I tried to get them in chronological order, which they refuse to do and Mark just kept mumbling, "just snap it!  Take the damn picture!"  Like trying to get a herd of cats to comply!

Then Granddaughter Helene arrived with Della and granddaughter Madeleine came in from ballet practice--see them in the back at the table?--and Jen was back outside and on the phone--see her in the background, through the window?

Della and my son-in-law, her grandpa, looking up at my sister.

I didn't realize how loud my two oldest, Mark and Pam talk.  Then there was yelling about the ballgame, so I had to get outside and sit in my car for a few minutes, just to re-adjust my hearing and mind.

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Came back in and sat down at the dining room table with Pam and Jen to hear the biggest shock of my life--well maybe not of my life, but the last half dozen years.  It shook me to my core.

Pam is moving to New Jersey and live with Jennifer and her family.  For two years!!!!!!!

My Pammie, who loves to live alone.  Who hates the city.  Who doesn't get along with Jen's husband.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?"

Did I say that?  Of course not.

I just sat and listened to her plans.

Jen's husband Eric's father, has finally turned one of his prosthetic offices over to Eric to run as his own.  Jennifer will "retire" in two years to be his accountant/lawyer/run the office.

Pam is going to be watching the kids again, while she lives there.  She is going to establish residency so that she can get disability, which she is having a hard time getting here, but can more easily get it in NJ, with Jennifer's support and legal help.

I managed to squeak out, "What are you going to do with your house?"

"Walk out and lock the doors."

smart mouth!

"It's not good for a house to sit empty that long."

"I don't care!"

My Pammie.  Who loves her house and her farm and never has wanted to leave it for more than a few hours at a time.

"Would you like me to go out and check on it.  Maybe spend a weekend, so it looks like someone lives there?"

"Nope!  I don't want anybody in MY house.  My friend Ed is going to drain all the water pipes, put anti-freeze in the toilets, winterize it.  He is going to mow the lawn every week.  It's all taken care of."

Then my sister, who had heard a bit of the conversation said, "Do you want us to have a key, so we can check on it, once in awhile?"

"Nope!  Nobody has a key to my house, except me.  I don't want anybody in  my house.  If you ever see a blaze coming from the East, call the fire department and then call me."

I had the strongest desire to just slap her!

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My Dear friends.  This is not going to work!  Jennifer and Eric aren't going to like Pam living with them.  The two older kids resented her when she used to live at their home two days a week.  She bossed them and they didn't like her rules.  Eric is not fond of her.

I think Jennifer is doing this to help her sister and thinking that Pam can help her.  While they get their business going and build their new house.

This is not going to work!!!

I'm still in shock and the only way I know how to deal with it all, is.....try and not think about it and go with the flow.  It is as it is.  But...............

this is not going to work!