What To Do

Today's high temperature was: 78 degrees

Sort of humid

Cloudy/sunny/cloudy

Thunderstorm came through around 8:00 p.m.

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Rain was predicted in the a.m. today--it did not come.  I checked the radar and it looked like it would get here around 2:30--it did not come.

What to do?  Should I paint or not?  I finally went out and painted the risers their second coat of white.  Then I went all around and touched up any places I thought needed more white.  I am sure I am NOT going to like white risers, as people are going to bump them with the toes of their shoes.  If all this white was plastic, it would be just a matter of cleaning it off, but.................................I still wish I had used a good, hard finish paint, instead of a stain.

I went back out at 2:00, because the sun was out, and sanded part of the floor.  Then I painted the edge of the floor grey--I think I am going to like the grey color.  I painted one board, just so I could see how it looked when it dried, and then my back was screaming from bending over to do the risers and the deck edge, so I sealed everything up and am going to wait.  

It is so humid today, but a cold front coming through later and then next week, it is only going to be in the '60's.  This time of year, in Michigan, you just never know what kind of weather you are going to get each day--in fact, it can change DURING the day.  Such fun.

I came inside and spent the afternoon washing and cleaning all my colored glass things that sit out.  Nice and shiny and the shelves they sit on, nice and dusted and washed down.

I kept looking out at the weather and the porch--such a yearning to get out there and get really started on the floor, but my back said, "NO" and if it is going to rain, I don't want the floor to get wet.  It takes at least 24 hours for the stain to get nice and set up.

Homecoming today at my hometown school.  I was singing the school song this morning and it hit me.  I may not remember what I ate for supper last night, but, I remember all the words to the school song and I've been gone from high school for 56 years.  Weird, isn't it?  What we do and do not remember.

I haven't been to a school function there, since Jennifer graduated, 24 years ago. She was Valedictorian.  She was also the homecoming queen her senior year.

 Karen was homecoming queen and Valedictorian 10 years before.

At the time, little Jennifer was the flower girl-at 7 years old.

I made Karen and Jen's dresses--pink velvet, with the lace topper.

I knew how to sew back then, LOL.

I was on the homecoming court, the second year they had it--way back in 1955--October 22, actually.  Back then, you didn't have to be a senior to be the queen.  The teacher's picked the queen, based on her academic skills and grades--so I had not a chance of being queen.  Some 15 years later, my little sister was on the homecoming court also.

I remember the night I was on the court, so well--I can close my eyes and see all that happened.  Afterwards, Gary and I had a date, having only been dating for a month--he a Junior, me a Sophomore.  I waited for him to come out of the locker rooms, after he cleaned up from the game and we got in the car to go to the dance.

He said, "You may not have been chosen queen, but you will always be my princess."  I didn't know what to say.  Quite a speech from a very quiet, big athlete to say--especially back in those ancient days.  I will never forget that or our first date, or our lives together.  Too bad he didn't continue to feel that same way over the years.

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Oh let's be honest here--if I were still married to him, I would be stark staring crazy and bored out of my skull!!!!

We'd probably still be living in the farm house.  No repairs made on it over the years, because he wouldn't let go of a cent of HIS money.  We would winter in Florida from October until April--being away from the kids at Christmas Time, so that he could play his golf--yawn!  He probably would still be drinking and there would be fights.  I would still not be allowed to have taken a job, gone back to college--nothing that would make me independent.  NEVER!!  That was all made very clear over the 27 years we were together.   I would have to drive everywhere, because he can't anymore.  I would still be doing all the work, inside and out, because---well--he just doesn't do that sort of thing.  I seriously doubt he knows how to cook or anything--according to his second wife--he does NOTHING.  And of course, anything I did, he'd be there looking over my shoulder and telling me I was doing it wrong!

Sure, I get nostalgic at times, and sure, I'd like the security of the GM retiree's pension--no worries about money, but I wouldn't be allowed to spend any of it and I dare say, even MY OWN Social Security would be put in HIS account.  NOPE--better this way.

Regrets that our marriage ended, that it was so bad we couldn't revive it, but no regrets that it did end.  I am very proud of myself actually, that I didn't stay in an emotional and sometimes physically abusive marriage just for the security--just for the money.  Like a few of my friends told me I should--those friends, still married to men that have become worse over the years.  I've gone to the 50th anniversary party, where the husband and wife were never together through the whole thing.  They can barely tolerate each other, but.....their kids gave them the nice party. 

Sad.

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Later--Jude