Pause--Breathe--Pray

I just don't know what was wrong with me Saturday--it just was such a bad day--but really it wasn't.  That makes no sense--which is right up my alley.  Eh?

I was to meet with my sister, her hubby and the cemetery guy to see if I could be buried where I wanted to be buried--next to my Mother--and to see if Freddy could be buried down at the other end, on the other side of my sister and her hubby.

I have ordered my two markers.

 The cemetery guy is a kid I've known all his life--knew his parents, his grandparents.  He goes on and on about how many sites there are--I already knew that.  How we use to have 8 sites per lot, now only 6 because the vaults are larger--I already knew that.  Then my sister (who still retains the quickness, let's get down to business attitude of a New Yorker) got a bit impatient.  Then her hubby said, "Aren't we going to the monument place when we leave here?"  and she snapped at him and said, "NO!  We are going to Lansing, you said we had to go to Lansing this morning and straighten out that mess with our countertop."  Then he said, "Judy, how do I get to the monument place?"  and she said, "I KNOW how to get to the monument place."

GEEZ--so I turned to the cemetery guy and said, "Look, can I be buried here?" and pointed down to the spot I wanted,  "Yes or no."

He said, "Yes."

"Okay, then can Fred be buried down there?"  again I pointed.

"Yes."

"Okay--can Susan and Chuck be buried here?  Between Fred and I?"

"Yes."

"Well that's all I wanted to know.  Everything is fine.  Please call the secretary and have her put our names on the site map."

Rural people.  Farmers.  They are slow ponderers, slow talking, slow reacting.

I know--I lived that way for most of my life.  When Susan moved back and got frustrated with them--"They are so casual about things and want to talk and talk.  I am paying them to work on my house, not chit chat!"

I told her she just had to gear down, take a deep breath, and relax.

Today, I knew how she feels.

I guess after living in a fairly big city for twelve years and down here by a couple of middle sized cities--I am use to people being organized, getting things done and not taking up a whole lot of your time with casual chit chat.

I so wanted to say, "I am here on a mission--an unpleasant mission to me.  I don't need to hear about how the people who bought your grandparents farm tore down the old barn!  I don't care how your truck is about to give out.  I don't care how far you have to drive to work.  I don't care how wide or deep a grave has to be--I just want to know if I can be buried THERE!"

So--as we were leaving, the guy who puts in the cement bases for the markers drove in.  I had to go find him and pay him in advance for putting in my two bases.

He is my best friend's nephew.  So we had to chit chat a while, and that was all right.  Then the other cemetery guy came up to him and started talking about a project he had to get done TODAY.

I waited while they measured and talked and measured some more and talked and went back and forth on why the lot owner wanted the stone moved...............GEEZ.

Finally, I interrupted--the cement base builder.  "I need to write you a check."  I handed him the paper from the monument place that told the measurements for each stone.

"Oh--you got two?"

"Yes.  Site 8 on lot 110 and site 2 on lot 117."

"Oh, I don't know nothing about the lots numbers.  Take me back and show me where."

OMG--we are now probably a hundred yards from where I started out and we have to walk all the way back and my back is killing me!

So he takes a look, then he takes a look at the paper that tells the sizes--then he says, "I don't have a calculator, but I do have my phone.  I can figger it out on that."

"Okay."

"I don't have a smart phone or whatever they're called--I got this dumb phone, but people can text me and..."

For Dear Lord's sake--just give me a figure!!!!!

"Well--ya know...the bases have to be two inches larger then the marker...all around...all around all four sides."

"Yes--I know that."

"And..it is 25 cents a square inch."

"Okay."

"Ah--oops, put in the wrong figures.  ha ha."

I am going to slap this guy up side the head--I don't care who's nephew he is or how long I've known his family!"

"Ah--let me see...that'll be two hundert and ten dollars...that's for the both of 'em."

So I get out my checkbook, place it on top of the nearest monument and write him out a check.  I can barely write legible because of my crippled, arthritic right thumb, but I get er done, so to speak.

It is only when I get half-way home I start to think and realize that I wrote him a check for two hundred dollars and ten cents, instead of two hunred and ten dollars!!!  GEEZ

Then I stop at Wal-Mart and they are out of the kind of ice tea in the gallon that I like.  All they have are jugs and jugs of sweet tea.  Hey--I was raised up here in the north--I hate sweet tea.  This is a store up here in the north--why the hell would you only sell sweet tea?

Two weeks ago, I left a gallon of drinking water on the check-out carousel.  So today I ask the cashier to please make sure I have all my stuff because--"I am having a terrible day and my mind is so mixed up--it's a wonder I even remembered how to get here!"

I asked my doc to re-new my prescriptions and they called them in and Wal-Mart pharmacy filled them all!  I didn't need them ALL filled right now--71.00 worth!  GEEZ

Then my debit card doesn't seem to want to work and when it did, I hit the cancel button instead of the okay button AND then I hit the "cash back" button instead of the "No" button.  GEEZ

As I was walking away, I made sure I had my water--took a few steps and the cashier says, "Ma'am, you forgot one of your bags.  GEEZ

I went back, apologized to the older guy behind me in line for holding him up--"I'm having one of those days," I said.

"Know what ya mean," he says.  "I have them almost every day."  HAH

I had to walk 17 miles back to my car because that is the closest I could get to the store--DO NOT GO GROCERY SHOPPING ON A SATURDAY and loaded all the stuff into my trunk.  Open the drivers door, got in and just sat for a sec...until I realized the SUV next to me was pulling out and going to take my door off in the process.  Pulled it shut.....on my knee.  GEEZ

Down the road, heading for home.  Just before I got to an entrance for the freeway, this big pick-up whips in front of me--obviously he wanted to get on that ramp.  He had one of those "God is my Co-Pilot" bumper stickers and the silver fish on the rear of the car.  I scream,"Good thing God is your co-pilot because you drive like the devil straight from hell!!!"  (He can't hear me of course, windows are rolled up.)  Hey--you got the fish plate on the rear of your car, the rhinestone Jesus pin and the gold cross around your neck, you ought to act more Christian--that's just my opinion.

Backed into my parking spot at home, and open the trunk.  I forgot to ask the Wal-Mart lady to double bag my Diet Pepsi liters and the bottom of the bag rips and two fall out and roll.......one under the car and one ends up out on the street.  I go get my broom off the porch and stick it under my car and get the other one to roll out onto the street.  HEY--if I gotta bend over and pick one up from the street, I might as well bend over once and get two for the price of one--right?

I no more got everything in the house and someone is knocking at my door.

DAR!!

"How's your day?" she says.

"Not very damn good," I answer.

"Well, let me tell you about mine!  I am so tired........................................."

and on and on she goes as I put away groceries.  When she is done with her tirade, she leaves.  Never once did she take a breath and want to hear about my s**t, but that's Dar.  It is ALWAYS all about her.

I was jumpy and jittery and grouchy all the rest of the day.  Money is pouring out of here like water from a faucet.  Plus, the added thinking on my situation with the youngest daughter, and wondering if step-mom really left Susan and I something in her Will--like she told us she did!!!

I feel like I'm losing it.

No one in my family has ever had Alzheimer's--I do believe I am going to be the first!!!!


(But I WILL be smiling tomorrow--I hope.)