My sister and I, now, are the only two people on this earth that know this secret. It has hounded us for 42 years. Sometimes, in anger or in retaliation, we have wanted to shout it out and say, "You think you know everything? Well--you don't know anything. How about some truth, for once in your life!!"
It will do me good to get it written out. You don't have to read it--it is more a "purge" via journaling then anything. A catharsis for my mind. Glad I didn’t post it on the last blog, but--now I can. I need to do this.
It will do me good to get it written out. You don't have to read it--it is more a "purge" via journaling then anything. A catharsis for my mind. Glad I didn’t post it on the last blog, but--now I can. I need to do this.
=========================
In 1940 a young man from Detroit
moved out onto the farm bordering my parents farm. It was war time. If
you were a farmer, you were deferred from serving. His mother was
wealthy--the farm next to her brother's came up for sale. She bought it
and sent her son out to live on it.
This man, Clarence and my Daddy
became very good friends. My Daddy, a farmer all his life, helped the man
learn how to till and plant the fields. He went with him to an auction
sale to purchase some cows. They hunted in the woods that separated their
farms.
My Daddy and mother had been
married about 2 years--I was 1 at the time. My Daddy and Mother's best
friends in our small town, had a sister. All these "kids" knew
each from high school. She was 2 years younger then my parents. My
Daddy and Mother set Clarence and this young woman, Helen up on their first
date. They were married in 1942. Of course, the four of them were now
fast friends. They did many things together, spent a lot of time
together.
Clarence and Helen had a daughter
in 1945. She and I became play-mates. They had another daughter in
1949--my sister was born in 1952. The four of us girls were
together--like sisters. In fact, until we were older, we thought we were
related. We all loved each other a lot. We went camping
together--spent many happy times together. Helen was so nice to me. She made Salmon Patties, which I loved, and if I was down at their house playing, she'd ask me to stay for supper when she made them. We had so many wonderful times together.
My Mother didn't have a best friend
type of relationship with Helen. Helen liked to gossip and my mother
would never say a bad thing about anyone. They had another friend
Florence. If Helen was with Mother, she'd talk about Florence. Mother
told me once, "people that gossip about others TO you, will gossip about
YOU to them."
Things were good though--Florence
and her husband Richard were also friends and the three family's had hot dog
roasts nearly every Sunday evening in the summer, card parties every other
Saturday during the winter and they vacationed together about once a year--when
the men hired men to come in and do the milking and chores for them.
===========================
Fast forward to 1969.
It was June of 1969--near my
birthday, but I don’t remember what day. I had been to the doctor for my
annual check up. As I drove home, I decided to stop in and visit my folks. As I was about to turn into the driveway, I saw Clarence driving
out, so I stopped in the road, knowing that as he turned to go home, he would
stop and chat. He waved out the window and turned right to go south on
Vernon Road. I wondered where he was going.
Mother and Daddy were sitting on
the patio. As I walked up, I noticed Mother was crying and Daddy was
leaning forward, his arms propped on his knees, his head in his hands.
I asked what was the matter and
Mother told me that Clarence had just come from the doctor. He had not
been feeling well, had a bit of pain in his chest and had some blood tests and
x-rays done a week before. Today, he had been told by the doctor that he
had a blood clot, traveling in his blood stream. It would either lodge in
his brain, his lungs or his heart. There was nothing they could do and he
told Clarence he had about six months to live.
Clarence had stopped to tell Daddy
and Mother and asked them to “take care of Helen” afterwards. He
also made them promise not to tell her EVER that he knew he was going to
die. He wanted to protect her now and in the future.
Mother and Daddy promised him and
he left, on his way to Florence and Richard's to tell them. I learned
later that he asked Florence and Richard if they would go up to the cottage at Christmas time
in case something happened to him then. He didn’t want Helen to be alone way up in Michigan's UP.
He quit smoking immediately as the
doctor had told him, smoking would make the blood clot move faster.
Within the next few months, he bought a self-propelled combine and a new
camper. He told Daddy that he paid for credit life insurance on them so
that when he died, they would be paid for and that he wanted Daddy to have them
and work on the farm, until Helen could get things straightened out.
Clarence died December 26th 1969 up
north, while the four of them were out riding snow mobiles. Richard and Florence were with them and brought
Helen home.
Helen use to call my Daddy to come
down and help with things. She couldn't figure out how to turn the
thermostat up to get heat (?) She didn't know how to use the garage door
opener (?) My Mother thought at times it was a ploy, to get Daddy down there, but then she knew
Helen was lonely and she knew my Daddy had promised to help and she trusted my
Daddy.
When Mother got very sick, in February, 1970, she told Susan that if she died, Daddy would fulfill his
promise to Clarence and marry Helen and take care of her. She told Susan
to "be nice and get along." Our Mother died about six weeks later--from unknown causes.
Helen and Daddy got married July
4th, 1971. Daddy, Susan and I never told Helen or her two daughter's that
Clarence had known he was dying. That he asked my Daddy to promise to
take care of Helen. It was a giant secret--but we have kept our word--all
these years.
Now it is written here for you all
too see.
Susan and I have always said, someday we would tell our step-sisters. Wouldn't they want to know? Even if just for medical history knowledge? After Helen’s death, we decided not to tell her girls. Helen and her girls have always been protected from bad stuff, so maybe we should keep the tradition going?
Susan and I have always said, someday we would tell our step-sisters. Wouldn't they want to know? Even if just for medical history knowledge? After Helen’s death, we decided not to tell her girls. Helen and her girls have always been protected from bad stuff, so maybe we should keep the tradition going?