When I was divorced and living alone out in the country--I loved Monday's to get back to work and see my friends.
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When I visited my sister on Thursday, I told her of the reoccurring fear of dying in the middle of the night and no one finding me for days or weeks.
The fear, which is rarely thought of, came back after the Tachycardia I had middle of the night Tuesday. I wondered about, who would find me if my heart just stopped and I died.
"Your neighbors would notice after awhile."
"You know how my car is sometimes parked in the drive for three-four days. They'd just think I was inside."
Chuck walks in. "Chuck, Judy is afraid she will die in the middle of the night." Chuck:"Well, I guess you can't stop that from happening." "No, she's afraid no one will find her for a week." Chuck: "Why would you care...you'd be dead. Wouldn't the neighbor's notice after awhile?"
"No--only by the stench coming from the house, four days later!"
"Keep your air conditioner on, says Chuck as he walks out of the room.
" I thought you and Pearl had a signal," said Susan.
"That was when I had hip surgery. I put my bedroom blinds up every morning to signal her that I was okay."
"Well, do the same now."
"That was five years ago. She doesn't even look out her bedroom window and if she did, she wouldn't remember if the signal was blinds up or blinds down."
"Well, so what. You'd be dead. Why would you care?"
"I don't care about me. I worry about the person that would find my rotting pile of flesh. I worry about the cats not being fed for a week."
"The cats would probably start nibbling on you! she laughs. If you were decomposed, then we'd just cremate you."
"I DON'T WANT TO BE CREMATED!!!"
"Why not? It would be cheaper."
I'm about to slap her laughing, sarcastic face! She is not taking any of this seriously!
"Because--it gives me the creeps! I don't want to be burned up in an oven. Fred was and it creeped me out for the two years I had his ashes up on the shelf in the bedroom closet!"
"Well, when we are raptured, we take on new bodies anyway."
"Fine. I want the bones I died with. Not a pile of ashes that God has to reassemble. Besides that--I'm not talking about funerals. I am afraid I will die in the middle of the night and it will be a horrid shock for my kids to have to go through."
She just shook her head. She wasn't very sympathetic to my problem. Of course, she's not a widow, old and living all alone, so she cannot relate!
Someday. Someday, you just wait little sister. You'll be all alone and scared in the middle of the night too!
Did I say that? Of course not!
"Do you check Face Book every day?" I asked.
"Oh--after I wake up and have breakfast. Some days, around ten, I open it up, just to see what's going on."
"Would it be inconvenient to you if, when I got up in the morning, I sent you a private message just to let you know I'm alive?"
"Okay. It would have to fit in with my schedule. You'd have to do it before ten in the morning."
"I can do that."
"If you private message me, it goes to my phone, so even if I didn't open Face Book, I'd still see the message."
"Thanks. That would really be a comfort to me."
"What if you forget?"
"I won't!"
"You might."
"If you don't see a message, call me."
"I guess I could do that."
Lord a mercy!!! You would have thought I had ask to take over her entire life!! Little Brat and a half!!!
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Dar, her Dad and friend Sheila are gone on vakay until September 25th. She commanded me to go over and pick the cherry tomatoes, so her Dad wouldn't come home to find his veggies rotting away. She instructed me to share them with Merle and Pearl and also Jackie.
I took my little bucket over yesterday afternoon. GOOD GRIEF. He had six large tubs planted with cherry tomato plants. Too different pepper plants in two other tubs and a sad looking cucumber vine in another tub.
I picked all the ripe tomatoes I could find--I noticed the ones laying on the floor of the porch hadn't been picked. Her back hurts--she wouldn't bend over. Well, I DID--so there, and my back is in worse shape than hers!
I took the bucket over to Merle and Pearl's and gave the veggies to them. Jackie wasn't home, so I figured when I picked again this Wednesday, I give those to Jackie.
At 2:00 this afternoon, I saw Shelia's car parked in Darlene's driveway. Oh, oh! Back already? Maybe 96 year old Dad got sick?
I trotted over. "Why you back so soon?" I asked Sheila.
She rolled her eyes, "Darlene can't stand all the driving. It makes her back hurt."
Just then Dar appeared, "I thought maybe Dad got sick, "I said.
"No. It's me. I can't stand the riding."
Sheila looked at me and said, "This has been an eye opening experience for Dar. I think she is finally realizing what all the doctors and us have been telling her. This is as good as it gets. She has all the recovery she is ever going to get!"
"I don't like to hear that!!! Last year I didn't go because it was just a few months after my accident. I am so much better now." Dar said.
"Apparently not," quips Sheila.
"Remember the last time you and I talked Dar. I told you that you were going to have to come to grips with the knowledge that you are older and you are just going to have to learn how to live with the aches and pains that come with that. Sheila has. I have. Your Dad has. It happens."
"Nope!" Dar said. "I will find another doctor. There has to be a specialist that knows how to deal with this and can cure it!"
"Well" I said as I started to walk away, "I'm real sorry you had to come home early."
She can hunt for all the specialist's she wants, but when she refuses to do what they say, or take any medications to help, refuses to go get mental therapy, which now three of her last doctor's have advised, I think she is just making herself more miserable.
At least she got her dang tomatoes and peppers picked!
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I have filled up the squirrel feeder a bit early this year. I want to give them a chance to store up their goodies before, what I hear is going to be a harsh winter, sets in. I have shelled corn, peanuts, sun flower seeds and other bird seed in the planter.
I am not discriminating. Fur and fowl are welcome to the Miller Diner Buffet.
It's easier than trying to keep all the bird feeders filled and they seem to like it just as much.
Sammy Squirrel
Sassy Blue Jay, who screeches and carries on so over the peanuts
Daddy Cardinal
My favorite, Chippie
...and I sit in my recliner and see all that goes on.
...or I look off to the side of my recliner and see these two..
Buddy is by far the sweetest of the two.
He was enjoying the view, but when Maggie came along,
he jumped down and let her have a turn.
For $3.00 a month you can get a service that calls you every morning and if you don't answer, it calls whoever you've appointed to go check on you. I plan to sign up someday if my health changes. Senior Neighbors, if you have that round you, has a free service that does the same. But they are older people helping each other so I'd be afraid I'd get a Pearl or Dar. LOL
ReplyDeleteIsn't it kind of a sad statement about younger people that they won't/don't take it upon themselves to call the elders in the family on a regular basis. I called my mom and dad every day when they got older and it was even long distance.
Hope your bad dreams end. When the rapture comes, why wouldn't you want new bones, thus making cremation not a problem? Just askin'! Too bad the blind code each morning you had with neighbor doesn't work now. My Mom had that with a neighbor. I don't have a system with anybody, but I figure if I'm dead I won't care and whoever finds me will just have to deal with it. Haven't been inclined to arrange a service to regularly check on me. Haven't wanted to ask my kids to set up a regular schedule of doing so as their lives busy when I recall my own at their age. Declined having a friend who lives an hour away from doing so as she had her own parents and now her husband. I think your friend gives new meaning to the term "denial". Too bad she can't come to grips with reality, but guess focusing on her ailments are how she wants to spend her energies instead of living. Glad you got the veggies picked.
ReplyDeleteMy Maui gal pals call each other every morning between 8 and 8:30. Four of them. Nancy does the calling and it takes just 5 or so minutes with each. IF anyone wants to talk more or longer, they call back.
ReplyDeleteI did a text with my buddy ... who is now my renter! But $3/month is a very good deal! And reliable!
Mama, DD Sherry and I used to have those kind of fun, maçabre conversatioñs. I was at Mama's bedside when she died. Sherry died at 31--in her own bed. Her 7-yr. old son was with her for at least 3 hours. I've often thought about those fun times we had...and try not to think how much I miss them so. It takes the rst of one's life to let ho, I believe!
ReplyDeleteI've missed "Dar stories" lately. Subjects may vary, but never Dar! ;)
Guess you are going to have to find another person, to signal, that you made it through the night(s). Maybe your daughter would be more receptive?
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand your fear. I think its a good idea to send a quick message to your sister every morning.
ReplyDeleteSammy and Chippie and the birdies are so cute. I'd enjoy watching them too. Sorry your sister wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the idea, but whether it's her or someone else, you really should have a daily check-in with someone. Not necessarily because you'll die in your bed, but more because you could have some other sort of mishap at any time, and maybe not be able to reach your phone. You need a check-in-on-me buddy! xoxo
ReplyDelete