title explained

Onward and upward! something that you say in order to encourage someone to forget an unpleasant experience or failure and to think about the future instead and move forward.

My e-mail: jjmiller6213@comcast.net

Friday, January 30, 2015

Did You Know?

Today's high temperature was:20 degrees
A bright, shiny day
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Did you know?  You can go to the Rit Dye website, e-mail them a color you want and they will send back the information of the colors to mix to get that exact color?

My Amethyst sheer curtain panels and valances I use at my living room windows for summer, are very faded from the sun.  The curtains are still in excellent condition.  I can't afford to buy new ones, so I wondered if I could dye them.  Rit Dye does not have that particular color--they have violet and purple, of which I want neither one.  So I went on their site and lo and behold, they have a color formula section.

At $1.80 a bottle, I think I can nicely afford to dye my curtains.   I have dyed polyester sheer curtains before and it worked out great---so, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

YOWSER!
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This color because I have a darker Amethyst for my round table cloth and area rugs.

I have blue and green and white color scheme.  Burgundy is my accent color for winter and Amethyst for spring and summer.   Plus, I have a lot of blue, green and amethyst colored glassware that sits around the house, plus the beautiful Dark Amethyst blown glass lamp that was my Mothers.

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Did you know?  If you have a driveway and sidewalks covered in ice and snow and you can't get to your car because it is so icy, to go to the store because you have run out of the Ice Melt pellets, you can use a can of 7 year old pickling salt and another can of 6 year old sea salt, even if they  have clumps--just crush up and spread over the ice and it disappears, so you now have a path to your car.

 YOWSER!!

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Did you know?  You can't work at your desk if you can't see your desk?


and that if you don't dust the very top of the book shelves and just sorta, hit and miss the shelves themselves--there can be a lot of dust in a years time.  You gotta move everything off the shelves and the top and really dust them good.


Did you know?  It feels a lot better to work in a room that smells fresh and clean and everything is shiny and bright?

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Did you know?  I looked up at the ceiling fan in the living room and I saw actual streamers of dust hanging over the edges of the blades.  I suppose I could have turned the fan on high and let wind force and gravity takes its natural course, but...I wiped them down instead.

Did you know?  I have nice blinds on every window in this house and...they are always pulled way up to the top and locked into place.  I never put them down--except the ones in the computer room in the morning.

Did you know?  The sun is coming in at a different angle this time of year and all my windows look smudgey.  I washed the windows on the inside and they still looked streaky.  I checked.  It is not the window glass, but the outside screens that are the culprits.

Did you know?  The above is what I did today :-)

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Slip Sliding Away...................

Today's high temperature was: 30 degrees               
Gray.
A glaze on everything from overnight freezing rain.
Maybe snow later.  I hope.
========================

Man Alive!  I felt wonderful when I woke up.  Really rested and...my neck wasn't stiff!!  Yes--I got a new pillow.  Yes--it was one I tried three years ago.  Yes--it was one of those My Pillows--on sale--50% off and...Yes, for some reason, this time, it seems to be all it's cracked up to be!!

I am thinking ahead to my spring cleaning and rearrangement of the living room.  Taking down the heavy drapes and putting up sheers at the two big windows.  Changing side tables around and putting my old wicker trunk back in front of the couch.  Making it lighter in here--both sunlight wise and fabric wise.

Now--I am lusting after this photograph--because it goes with my summer theme and it speaks to my heart and I can just see it, over a small table with my shells on the table top.


and I have a shell just like the one in the picture AND a glass float ball!    I will have to see how much $$ I can wrangle out of my monthly budget this month.  Maybe--just maybe?

Do you know that they make Bead Board wall paper?  It actually looks like wood!  I love Bead Board.  Have it in my bathroom cupboards and my entertainment center and the cupboard in my computer/den.  I would love to put it in my living room and kitchen, under the chair rail, so it would look like Wainscoting.  But....I won't.  It might be too much?  Not money wise, but..........you know.  

Although my sister has Wainscoting all through her house--the original that was built with the house, 158 years ago.  Hers is wood color with painted or wall papered wall above it.   Just something to think about--eh?
====================

I have felt so good--emotionally.  As I pondered on this--you know by now, how I sit and ponder on life.  It occurred to me--the one toxic relationship that was in my life for so many years, is now gone.  Well--a few toxic relationships are gone, but this was the main one.

I felt so guilty when my Daddy died.  We never had a good relationship.  My Mother was the glue that held our family together in unconditional love and happiness and making everyone around her feel like they were the most important people in the world.  When she died--all of that was gone.

My Daddy was the critical one--always cutting us down to size.  I felt guilty because I thought--for as long as he and I lived, that it was my fault that he didn't really treat me very well.

If I could just be a better person.  If I could just find the key to getting close to him.  If I could just figure out how to make him proud of me.  All through the years, it just seemed that everything I did, made me appear worse in his eyes.

I was pregnant when I got married--he was ashamed.  I had three children in four years--he was embarrassed that I was such a breeder.  My son, who wanted to be a farmer, didn't take instructions very well--how could I have raised such a stubborn kid.  I got divorced.  When my sister got divorced, it was her husband's fault.  When I got divorced, apparently it was my fault.

Then I couldn't afford the family home I lived in--I got a lecture.  Instead of selling that home and getting money to live on in a cheaper place, I gave it free and clear to my daughter.  At least I kept it in the family--but I was viewed as a failure and heard about it.  Of course, the step-mother had an influence on my Daddy by then and told me, "You won't be inheriting any farm or house.  You had one and you let it go."

So when Daddy died, I felt guilty that I had let him down.

But guess what?  Now, both Daddy and step-mother are gone and with them, the toxicity.  It used to be whenever my sister or I visited the Big House, we got a bit nervous as we drove up the drive.  What lecture or criticism awaited us when we walked into the house?

Now--that house--that same house seems light and brighter and full of laughter once again. I mentioned it to her one day a couple of years ago and she said, "I know.  I feel the same way.  As soon as Chuck and I moved in, it seemed the rooms got bigger.  More sunlight came in the windows.  I can almost hear the ancestor's laughing and having a good time."

Strange isn't it?  I didn't equate that with how emotionally free I have felt and I think, as bad as it is to say this--I think it is because that relationship is gone.  I feel more able to do and say what I want--without worrying that the critical responses will come.  That my Daddy or step-mother aren't going to ask me what is going on and then lecture me on how I should or could have done better.  Now, when I drive out to visit The Farm, I drive as quickly as I can to get there and there is no nervous flutters in my stomach as I drive up the long driveway.  I can't wait to get in that house!

I can finally breathe.  In a way, it's all very sad.  In a way, it's all very relaxing.
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We got a thin coating of ice--I looked out and noticed it on my car.  Around noon, I went outside to get something out of my car and the driveway was very slick.  I tried to hang on to the car, but it was covered with ice and not a good grip.   I inched my way back into the house.  I don't need to fall and break one of my new hips!  Then we got a dusting of snow this afternoon, and I'll just bet, that makes it even more slippery.  I may be inside until the spring thaw, LOL.
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This is what I did tonight, for entertainment--while I watched my Spartan's whip the Rutgers Knights.

All right, all right.


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Hey! What Day Is It?

Today's high temperature was: 37 degrees
Third shiny day in a row.
==============================
So relieved to wake up and hear that the blizzard has moved on and all my friends survived.  Even my Spartan's basketball game in Piscataway, NJ was canceled and will be played tomorrow night.  Why or how Rutger's ever got in the Big 10 is beyond me--along with Maryland.  Big Ten league is supposed to be Central-Mid West teams.  BAH!!!

During this night, we are expecting freezing rain and snow--perhaps 3" of snow.  No biggie for us that's for sure.  Unless you have to travel to work early in the morning, but then, Michigander's know how to drive on that stuff.
========================
Today, I had a consultation with my dentist to see about getting another crown put on.  Right next to the one I had done last spring.  My new insurance pays up to $1,000 a year for dental work and 2 free cleanings, x-rays and dentist check per year.  I will have to pay $500.00 for this crown, to keep some back in case I need fillings or something like that.  The dentist will let me pay $50.00 a month to pay it off.  Actually she said, "You pay me whatever and whenever you can."  I am putting $50.00 or more a month into my budget for it.  I already send them $30.00 a month to build up credit.  Now, I don't need credit for dental work, I will pay the $50.00.  I start the crown work on February 18th.  I hate it, but I do love to be able to chew without fear of breaking a tooth of losing a filling!!!

I can't believe this new insurance I have.  $19.90 a month for the payment and all the coverage?  There has to be a catch, but I have read their booklet and...I don't see where I am going to have to outlay a lot of out of pocket.  There's gotta be a catch--I guess I'll find out.
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I didn't tell you, but when Dar was here yesterday, she was looking through my bags of groceries from the Food Bank.  She said, "You didn't get any eggs."

"Nope.  I don't need them."

"Well, you could have given them to me."

Then she proceeded to tell me that she made thirty-two thousand dollars last year.  She works at the grocery store, where she gets a discount and yet...she wants me to give her stuff from the Food Bank?

It was the same way when she worked at The Salvation Army store.  She saw everything when it first came in and if she saw something she liked, she'd put if off to the side and take it home.

When she was on Welfare, she told them she wanted to go to work, but needed a car.  So, they gave her $2K.  She took that money and paid off a credit card and when she found a job, her Daddy bought her a 2012 Infinity.  I was so hoping that Welfare would ask to see the title on the car they gave her money for, but they never did.

Am I wrong or is this woman weird?  

To me it's just like stealing.  I am allowed 60# of food at the Food Bank.  No way can I use that much.  Yesterday it was 35#.  I only take what I need and even then, they forced 2 extra pounds of ground beef on me yesterday, which I gave to Pammie and feel guilty about it.    

I do not like the way this woman operates in her life.  Oh and by the way, ALL four of her children have liver problems because they are alcoholics and drug users.  Now--that either is a strange coincidence, or it stems from the way she (didn't) bring them up.  They all started drinking at about 12 years of age and using drugs at 15.

Just saying.
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Tomorrow is garbage day and I have been cleaning out a bit.  I am now down from 7 pillows to 4.  I got rid of the flat ones that were all stained and yucky.    

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

All Alright

Ms. Graysea/Kitty/Marcia, who lives on Cape Cod is all right.

Thank you God!

Snow Hurricane

Today's temperature was:  27 degrees
Another Shiny Day!
============================

A Snow Hurricane--that's what they are getting out there on Cape Cod, where Ms. Graysea/Marcia lives.  Lots and lots and LOTS of snow with a Nor'Easter bringing in hurricane force winds.   She hasn't told me that--I've been watching the Weather Channel.  They also showed pictures of Boston.  No traffic.  Hardly any people outside.  I think I'd like Boston if it were like that all the time.

Speaking of Boston, I have been watching "The Sons of Liberty" on the History channel every night.  Samuel Adams and Paul Revere and those guys--they were thugs!!!  Always inciting the Red Coats, trying to get them to fire on them, so the Rebels could blame them for starting more trouble.  I am sure, if I lived back then, I would probably be on the side of King George.  After all--they WERE British citizens and yet went against British rule.

BTW--Paul Revere did not ride through the streets yelling, "The British are coming.  The British are coming!"  That would have made NO sense, since they were ALL British citizens.  Rather he yelled, "The Red Coats are coming".

Sure, later we see they had every reason to be p.o.'ed and now we revere them as the first who fought so we could have our very own Country, ruled by our very own people, but at first?  I would not have been on their side for sure!  and, the way our country is right now, I'm not so sure we wouldn't do better with a Prime Minister and the Queen.
============================
So this morning, I had my appointment at the Food Bank.  They had a lot of fresh, new stuff.  I got a nice bag of salad fixings to put my canned chicken in.  They had Cauliflower!  I love steamed Cauliflower!!!  I got 6 cans of diced tomatoes and 2 cans of kidney beans to make more Chili.  They had freshly brought in tubes of ground round.  Because they were only 1# tubes, they told me to take two.  Since I am allowed two frozen meats, I got four tubes of ground beef.  

I also found someone to bless today.  A young mother with a four year old boy, who sang "Old MacDonald's Farm" to me and then I asked him the animal sounds and he knew all of them!  She was ahead of me all the way through the little store and out to our cars.  I walked over and gave her my free toilet paper and jug of detergent.  She was so happy--I knew she needed them more than I did.  She has kids--I have only me.

And you will never guess what else I found in the freezer--no you won't--you could not possibly guess or even imagine--

               ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  
MY FAVORITE SEA FOOD? 
 AT THE FOOD BANK?
HALLELUJAH!
and they had cake--those little round ones that I love.
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After I left the food bank, I had some stuff for Pammie, so I drove over to Jen's.  I wanted an excuse to see Little Boy-Evan.   I had some of those Box Tops for School thingies you sometimes get on cereal boxes and Zip Lock bag boxes.  Alex takes them to his school.  I put two tubes of the frozen ground beef, a can of soup, baked beans, peanut butter and jelly in a bag for Pammie and stuck them in the front seat of her truck.  She will be going home tonight.  and then...I knocked on the door and she opened it.

Guess what--both Evan and Alex were there--both have bronchitis and both have been in ER over the weekend, because Alex was very close to pneumonia!  I guess it's a good idea Jennifer doesn't call me anymore and let me know what is going on.  In the old days, she would have called from the ER and I would have been in a panic.  Better to find out AFTERWARDS--when everything is all right.

So--I got to see both of them, ruffled Alex' hair and a kiss on top of his head, and a nibble on Evan's ears.  I said, "Mimi won't eat your ears--I just want a tiny, nice little nibble," and he stood very still so I could nibble and then he giggled his head off.  I love three year olds!!!

Then Pammie told me all about her cooking experiment.  She made Kraut Brouke--one of my kids favorites, and Pammie especially loved them, but had never made them.

"Did they turn out all right?"  I asked

"Oh Momma--I ate five of them on Saturday!"

OMGosh!
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I got home at around noon and Dar walked in right behind me.  GEEZ!!

"I just had to come tell you, Jeff is in the hospital part of detox now.  He got to make one call last night and he called me.  He can't have any family contact for the next three months."

"So after the hospital stay--then he goes into the treatment center?"

"Yes, for three months or longer.  Then he goes to a half-way house.  I probably won't get to see him for at least six months.  I am so glad!"

"You're glad you can't see him?"

"Yes, because he will be in sessions with a shrink and I know, it's all going to come about his childhood and the bad way I brought up him and the other kids and...well...really, I don't want to visit and take a chance of running into his doctor's."
<of course not, because, after all, it is all about you>

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I had guests for lunch.
Baby Boo

Smokey


and a couple of their friends that didn't 
have reservations for the 
Feeding Station Squirrel Cafe
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Monday, January 26, 2015

Worries

Today's high temperature was:  26 degrees
It was a Shiny Day!
====================

It seems I do love to worry about things I have no control over--like the weather.

Nothing will stop my day, like a predicted severe thunderstorm.  I listen to the weather channel, the local TV station and track the storm's approach on radar on my computer.  I want wind speeds and I want to know precisely where that storm is and if there are any Hook Echoes near me.  I pay no attention to the siren, because that goes off if there is trouble in any part of the County.  I want to know what is coming directly at me!!

Today, I am worrying about Flo out there in the North-East and Marcia on Cape Cod and my one reader in Binghamton, NY and Cheyenne in Pennsylvania.  I know I will get no reports from then because they are probably going to be without power.  Hurricane force winds coming into the Cape.  You take even one foot of snow and mix it up with Hurricane force winds and you are going to end up with snow drifts eight feet high.  I know people near the New Jersey shore--they are going to get it.

There are 50 million people in this storm's path.  Have you EVAH driven up I-95 into Bahston and beyond.  It is nearly impossible on a good day, but with snow of any amount?  I hope they close it down!

New York City?  I don't know anyone who lives there, but with it's heavy population.  Can you even imagine.  They are shutting off the lights on the Great White Way and and all traffic forbidden, except for emergency vehicles.

 I fear there is going to be many deaths from this storm.  They don't have the equipment to take care of something this big.  Our power company employees have already left Michigan, headed out that way to help.

I pray for my friends in that area.  Please, if you have power to read this, be careful.  DO NOT take ANY chances!!! 

Carrie, Cheyenne, Judy Frey, Julie, Marcia, and Binghamton, this means you!!!  Please let me know, as soon as you can, that you are all right.


Sunday, January 25, 2015

DAMMIT!!

You're going along in life--trying to eat healthy, being kind and gentle to everyone, being a good person.  Everything is fine, you feel great, until you get the bad diagnosis.  

My blogging friend Balisha (Pat) is going through that now and I HATE IT!!!  

I love this woman, that I have never met.  I've read her blog for quite a few years now.  Read the painful experience she so bravely shared when her son died.  

She had her yearly check-up in November and all was fine.  That's the way Ovarian cancer is.  It doesn't show up in a PAP test or a physical check-up.  My BFF had it and the only way she knew...she put on a pair of slacks she had worn the month before, and she was so bloated, she couldn't get them on.  

Sure there is a special blood test you can get, CA-125, but it is costly and insurance won't pay for it until AFTER the diagnosis.  Then they do it all the time to "check your numbers."

I HATE IT!! We should all have hysterectomies when we are done with child bearing!!  

I am just asking that you all take a moment today--right now--and say a  prayer for Balisha.  She deserves only good things in life AND she will have remission--after the treatments, but it will take a while.

She has very strong faith and that will help get her through.

God, hold Pat in the palm of your hand, help the doctor's find the correct treatment and bring her to remission.  I pray this in Jesus name!  Amen.