Sad, Wonderful, Laughing, Amazing Day

Today's weather?

Just like yesterday and the past week

PERFECT!

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Today was the Memorial Service for Bethie's oldest son, Todd, who died April 15th.  They attended his funeral over in the Czech Republic where he lived and today, was his service for his American family and friends.  It has taken a long time to get his cremains back here--State Department and customs releases and all that.

When I got up, I changed my mind about what to wear.  I knew that all our friends would probably wear pants, but...deep in my heart, I wanted to dress up...to honor Bethie and her husband, and Todd. I have known Bethie for 70 years, so I have known Todd since he was born.

I got out my black pin-stripe dress with the jacket.  This one that I last wore to my step-mother's funeral.

It's comfortable and it has the jacket to cover up my ugly looking arms.  I got my panty-hose on to cover up my ugly legs and my black dress shoes, that are badly worn around the edges.    Let's face it, I only wear a dress and heels on rare occasions.  The heels are from my working days--15 years ago, as is the dress.

I had to stop on my way to gas up the car.  It was only when I walked back to the car, from paying, that I realized the waist band on my panty-hose was so stretched out that it had fallen down around my crotch!!!  Too late to go back home and change for sure.  Onward and upward--ever forward.

I had to drive the expressway--north up to Fenton.  I "thought" that map-quest told me to turn left when I got off the exit--which I did and drove and drove, until I got to the next town and realized, that I was heading the wrong way--turn around and go back and found it--just a little ways RIGHT off the exit.

I entered the funeral home and immediately found the ladies room, as the waist of the panty hose was now down around my thighs.  I pulled up the waist band and tucked into my underpants.

Todd was only 53 when he had one of those heart explosions that occurs and by the time he landed on the floor, he was gone.  He had lived such a life!!!  He crammed more into the last 30 years than any of us will, if we live to be 100.    When he was just out of college, he asked Bethie to take him up to the entrance ramp of the expressway and drop him off.  He was going to back-pack around the United States--which he did.  Then, he went over to the Czech Republic to teach and ended up translating many, many of their  historical books into English.  Along the way, he met a lady with two daughter's.  He and she renovated an old house and an old store and started a business.

In the meantime, he became interested in singing with one of the famous choirs over there and was the first foreign person ever invited to join the group.  At his funeral in the Czech Republic--a couple of the choirs were there to sing.  His funeral held in a HUGE, old Cathedral.

The service today was beautiful, moving and very spiritual.  Bethie's niece is a minister and gave such a beautiful service.  Bethie's brother also took part.  They had a piano/flute duet and then an older gentleman, with a trained (I presume) baritone voice stood and sang "How Great Thou Art".

All of our Gal Pals were there, along with their husbands, and another classmate.  It seems the only times we get all together anymore, is at funerals.

I was amazed that when I first arrived, Bethie's younger son came up to me and said, "Remember me, Mrs. Miller?"  I haven't seen him in probably 40 years and yet, he knew me.  He went on to reminisce, "Wasn't it one of your daughter's that Todd had a crush on?"

"Yes, my daughter, Karen."

"Didn't they go out on a date, once."

"Yes...when they both were at Michigan State."

Now--how and why would he remember that?  Way back in 1980?  Amazing.

Then Bethie's younger brother came up and hugged me and said, "Judy, thank you so much for coming."  I haven't seen him in over 50 years!  I am stunned and amazed again.  How did he remember me?

Then I introduced myself to Bethie's two grandsons, that I have never met, and tried to guess their names by the way Bethie has talked about them.  I got their names wrong--Doug, who I thought was Jacob.  HAH, such nice young men, we had a great talk.

The biggest surprise?  Bethie's nephew, that I haven't seen since Beth and Harry's wedding in 1960, came over and said, "I was in love with you in 1956."

He did look familiar, but....."I don't recognize you," I said.

"Roger."

"OHMYGOSH!!  Roger?"

His family lived next to my in-laws back then.

"I kept kicking my football over into their yard, hoping you would get it and bring it back to me and talk to me.  I had such a crush on you!"

"But...Roger...you were only ten or eleven.  I thought of you as a little kid.  A cute little kid, but way too young for me.  What year did you graduated high school?"

"1968."

"Oh," I said.  "Well--I have to tell you.  I lived for twelve years with a guy who graduated in 1968, so...I guess you aren't too young for me!"

He hugged me and said, "Okay then", and we laughed and laughed and his wife said, "Am I going to have to watch you two?"

==================

This happens to be all the time--people I haven't seen in decades recognize me.  I figured it out once.  In high school, I was tall and skinny and blond.  I am still tall, having only lost 1/4 inch since high school, and I am once again thin and, even though my hair is now grey, it is still cut short, like I always wore it.  So--I tend to still look the same as they remember.  Even though I don't remember them--perhaps because a lot of them were kids when I last saw them.  It's cool!

=================

Bethie had invited all us friends to the family dinner afterwards.  It was held in a church that is a few miles from her house.  I was going to take the back way, but then, decided perhaps I should get back on the expressway and take that back south.

I distinctly saw the sign that said, 'US 23, SOUTH" and that's where I took the entrance, only to realize in a few seconds, before I even got on the expressway, that I was headed north--toward Flint!  EGADS!!!

Up to the next exit--turned left, over the expressway and entered onto the expressway, headed south.  I was afraid I would be late, but got there in plenty of time.  Sought out the nearest ladies room again, to haul up my panty-hose, down to the basement and sat down.  I was not going to move!!

But, of course, it was a buffet and we had to line up and walk to the tables of food.  I took my left hand and pinched the panty-hose, waist through my dress to hold them up.  One of our Gal Pals, standing behind me in line asked if I had a pain in my side.  I quietly told her the problem I had.  Which of course, she had to relate back to the other Gal Pals--as we share everything (I guess)...and of course the husband's heard.  Well--in high school, I was thought of as the class clown, so....the reputation continues, right? 

Then I wondered...how was I too load up my food plates?  I had to let go of the panty-hose and by the time I got back to our table, I could feel the waist line flapping against my thighs!  Thank goodness, only the body of the hose were stretched out--the thigh part and legs stayed up nicely.  I did not go back for dessert, by the way.  I was not taking any more chances.

As I left--I walked out of the church and into the sunlight and then realized--for the first time in 15 years, my black pin-stripe ensemble is NAVY BLUE!!!

I turned to one of the Gal Pals, who was walking out with me, hoping to witness a complete panty-hose fail where they would end up around my ankles, and I said, "Is this outfit black or navy blue?"

"It's navy,"she replied.

"I have had it forever and I have always thought it was black!"

"You're getting old, Jude.  Maybe you better get your eyes checked!"

I got in my car and said, right out loud, "If I'd known that. I would have worn my navy shoes!"

My navy shoes are in much better shape.  GEEZ LOUISE!!!

I took the alternate route home so I didn't have to get out on the expressway and drive fast with all the other idiots!  Got in the door, kicked off my shoes, pulled off the panty-hose as I walked back to the bedroom and threw them--quite violently--into the kitchen wastebasket!!!

Next funeral, I will wear the same outfit, but a smaller size of panty-hose and my navy shoes!!  In fact, I think I will put a note on the jacket saying, "This is navy, not black"==just in case the next funeral is mine and my girls will know how to accessorize my outfit!!!

=================

Tonight, I am thinking of my Dear Friend, Beth.  She is worn out, I know.  She has already attended one funeral for her son and then....the long wait.  When she should have been on her way through the grief process and today---she had to go through it all again.  Later this afternoon, they were to take Todd's remains up to the Byron Cemetery, where he will be finally, laid to rest, next to the rest of his family.  

The next time I drive up to The Farm, I will stop in at the cemetery and say a prayer by his grave.  Tonight, I am saying prayers for Beth and Harry and Tom, their son, and all of Todd's family, especially his lovely wife who has to travel back to the Czech Republic, all alone.

Just a Normal Friday

Today's high temperature was:  78 degrees

Sunny with nice breeze

================================

My daily weather report seems to be the same every day.  We have had the most beautiful weather this summer.  Here it is, the middle of July and we have only had two humid, hot days.  Remarkable!!  Our winter reminded me of the kind we had when I was a kid and this summer is the same way.  We didn't have an air conditioner in our house--didn't need one.  The windows were open day and night, with a nice breeze and I don't ever remember being too hot.

The guy came today to remove Darlene's large stump.  I think she thinks that means the wood from the stump and all the saw dust and mulch will be cleaned up and gone.  She is not going to be happy when she gets home from work and sees this!

She has a 3 feet high by 8 feet wide circle pile of ground up wood.  Do you know who is responsible for cleaning that mess up?  The person's whose lawn it sits on.  I can't wait to see what she says--plus, I think they cut her cable line.

In the first place, that beautiful tall, straight Oak she insisted be cut down, only needed to be trimmed.  Her house was NOT in danger of that tree falling.  Her roof was not being affected by that tree.  There were four dead branches from the winter.  Cut those off and trim it up a bit higher and it would have been all right, but she got all aggressive and demanding and she got her tree cut all the way down.  It's not nice, but I think it's good riddance to her when she sees this.  No doubt, she will be on the phone calling the office and yelling and carrying on until someone from maintenance comes and cleans it up.

The guy came over and asked if I wanted my stump ground up and I declined.  I don't want that mess to clean up and besides?  I kind of like my pot sitting on it.  I still can't get used to that Mulberry being gone, if it sat anywhere else on my lot, I would have left it, the birds and squirrels loved the berries.  It was causing moss on my roof and it was restricting the canopy growth of my Maple.  Instead of trimming their trees, or do selective harvesting, this park just let's them grow out of control.  

Star Gazer lily ready to pop! 

I made the kids get up on the bench and I gave them their morning massages.  I am hoping they will associate massage time with the bench.  They both spotted a bird on the lower part of the hedge and they did stay for a few minutes, but---never got up there the rest of the day.

I got the utility room and kitchen floor mopped and shined, cleaned up the kitchen, vacuumed the living room and this room and dusted.  I had on my ToDo list, clean out the shed and take a bike ride, but I never got to that.  Too tired out.  There's always tomorrow, right?

I mixed up ten pounds of bird seed, with the Habenaro Chili Pepper hot sauce, and filled the feeders.  So far the last few days, no squirrels have bothered the seed and the birds love it.  I had to buy a box of latex gloves to use with the hot sauce.  I found out the first time, that just washing my hands did not removed all of it and the first time I used the bathroom---well let's just say, I was one HOT MAMA for about an hour!  YEOUCH!

===============================

Pearl came down this late afternoon to get away from Merle.  He has come out of his depression and is back to snarling at her, I guess.  She said, "The computer is going to save our marriage!  When he gets grumpy or won't talk, I just go back and play games."

Yesterday, when I called up there, Merle answered the phone and said, "Thanks for getting her on that computer.  It gets her out of my hair for awhile."

Ah-hh, wedded bliss.  Whatever works, I guess. LOL  Of course, if either one of them died, the one left would be devastated and neither one could care for themselves completely.  He doesn't know how to cook or do laundry.  She can't vacuum and doesn't know how to turn on the furnace when winter comes.  She has no concept of how the thermostat works, because, once he told her not to touch it, so she never has.

I laugh as I write that last sentence.  IF my husband has ever told ME that--the minute he left for work, I would have been over to the wall, studying the thermostat--seeing how it worked--checking out the buttons and how to raise or lower the heat.  HAH!  

===========

I saw Dar when she came home.  She walked back to the pile of sawdust and then I saw her get on her cell phone.  She has the manager's personal phone number and by the way she was gesticulating, I'll bet she was giving him what for.  

==================

Sally, you left out an "i" before the "s" in louisianabelleforever, but I found her.  I have absolutely NO CLUE what the flower is.  It has spiky things on the leaves--must be a southern flower?  Also--at one time I studied Lepidoptery and never saw a butterfly like that one!

It's Okay To Be Nice

Today's high temperature was: 69

Beautiful--sunny, nice breeze.

==============================

When I called the office and left my message about my tree, I didn't rant or rave or make demands or act mad.  I just said that I had talked to the tree cutting guy and he said I wasn't on the list and I wondered why.

7:25 this a.m.  The phone was ringing.  I couldn't see the caller ID and almost didn't answer, but then....it might be a family emergency, so I answered.

"You gotta get out here right now!"  It was Dar.

"I....what?  I....."

"Get to your front door...right now!"

So I staggered out to the front door--in my nightie, and there stood four guys and Dar.  I took one step back into my house so the guys couldn't see through or up my nightie.

"The guys are here to cut your tree.  They have been knocking and ringing your door bell.  They almost left!  Get dressed!"

So I staggered back into my bedroom and pulled my clothes from yesterday, out of the hamper and ran back out to my front porch.

Jim--the owner of the tree cutting company said, "You wanted the Mulberry down.  Right?"

"Yes...the one we talked about last fall."

and...suddenly, chain saws were buzzing and the Tree Monkey was climbing and.............................

Dar pulls me off to the side, "Rob (park manager) called me and asked that I call you on the phone because they couldn't wake you up.  He said you are on the list to get the tree down, and they were going to do it later this summer.  He felt so bad when he got your message that he had the guys come do it now before they go back to the rest of the jobs."

 Just then, Rob pulled up in his truck and got out.  He had a big smile on his face.  I walked to the end of the driveway and just hugged him and thanked him.

"Hey...you are always so nice.  You welcomed my parents the other day.  You always have a good word for all our workers.  I just didn't want you to have to wait until the end of summer to get those branches off your roof."

By then, I had a few tears in my eyes.  I was thinking what a nice blessing God had bestowed on me.

He gave me another hug.  "I just appreciate this so much!", I said.

"I know you do."

Then Jim, standing in the background, gave me a thumbs up and a big smile.  He has done a lot of work for me over the years--taking down the big Willow tree , between Tami's house and mine--that Tami had promised to pay half of, but never has--$800.00, and Jim has trimmed up my Maple tree three times.

He and I had talked last fall about him taking down the Mulberry tree.  I told him I'd wait until spring, because, it would cost $200 and I sure didn't have the money.  Today, he was really happy for me too.

So--I guess it pays to be nice?  You don't always get taken?  You don't always end up last?

Although, Dar with her demanding way and aggressiveness, DID get that big Oak taken down yesterday, and to my way of thinking, it only needed to be trimmed not killed!

Whatever--the Mulberry is gone.  No more branches laying on and destroying my new roof.  No more purple bird doo-doo staining my white siding.  I am very happy.

 
I can't believe how much sun is coming in--really open ed up that corner and allows more sun on my front garden.  I do miss the tree, however.

Oh oh.  someone's looking in the window right at me!  He used to climb this Maple and then jump to the Mulberry and up onto my roof.  I think he is a bit angry and can't figure out how he is going to get on the roof.  He is going to need his flying "cape" to make that leap for sure.

Then, they took down the pine across the street-=-this one---photo from April.

The manager's parents are putting a double wide on this oversized lot.

==============================

I got two old step end tables from Pearl--she bought new ones.  Merle took off the "steps" for me and I glued them together with Gorilla Glue.  I wanted to make a bench for the "kids" to sit on to be able to see out the window--instead of having to sit on the narrow, 3inch window sill.

Put it in their favorite spot in the bedroom and put a nice soft pad on top. 

But look--the kids want to lay or sit under it, instead of on top. 

I put Maggie up there and petted her and tried to explain to her how nice it was, but..... 

Silly cats!!!

=================

Then Tami came over, fire coming out of her ears.

She let loose with a few nasty words about them not taking down her tree and why did they take down mine?

I told her that I had talked to Rob and she is on the list.  They are doing a second cutting later this summer.

"Most of the trees they took down they felt, were in danger of large broken branches from the winters storms, coming down on people's roofs."

"Then why in h*ll did they take down yours?"

(I lied--sort of) "because I had turned in my request over a year ago (which is true) and they decided to get mine out of the way now."

She is not a happy camper--but Rob is ready for her.  All the staff knows her and that she had mild mental impairments.  So when she rants, they will know what to do.

=====================

A lot of troubles in our world today.  Russian's shooting down (apparently mistakenly) a commercial jet and Israel going on the attack into the Gaza.  

I'm pretty mad at Sarah.  God told Abraham that his old wife Sari would have a child.  She didn't believe it so she persuaded Abraham to have sex with her handmaiden, Hagar, a Muslim.  Then when Sari had a child, she made Abraham send Hagar and their child Ishmael out into the dessert.  He was Abraham's first born son and ended up with no birth right--nothing.  The Jews and Muslim's have been killing each other ever since! 

It appears to me how easily men can be tempted by women.  Eve, Sarah, Delilah, Bathsheba, even Ruth tempted Boaz by laying at his feet so he had to marry her.  

Men are not real bright, are they?

====================

I talked to Pearl this evening.  Merle went to the Neurologist today.  He has to have an MRI and an EMG.  Pearl said, "I had an EMG once and it was awful!"

"I did too," I said.  "The worse medical test I ever had done.  Don't tell Merle how painful it is--okay?"

I saw him ride by on his bike and he looked great.  I watched as he peddled up the hill in the service drive.  I have to get off my bike and walk it up--he just peddled right on up.  He sure doesn't appear to have anything wrong with him!

Hope not!   

Mid-Week Consternation

Today's high was: 65 degrees

Partly sunny

===============================

In this park, we were told that a tree trimming/removal team would be coming in Mid-July.  If we wanted any of our trees trimmed or taken down, we had to write a letter, explaining our reasons and turn that letter into the office.  Dar wanted the huge, tall oak tree in back of her place taken down, because branches and limbs sometimes came down on her roof.  Tami next door wanted the large, tall pine tree taken down that has grown too close to her house because when the pine cones fall on her roof, it wakes them up.  I requested my Mulberry tree be taken down as the branches hang over my roof, causing the roof to be come covered in moss and eating away at the shingles, Plus the birds eat the fruit and poop purple all over my siding, requiring me to get it power washed every year.

All our letters were accepted and the manager of the park, assured us the trees would be removed.

This morning at 9:00, they commenced to take down Dar's tree.  It took them all day.  I don't think this video is going to work, but.......he was 50+ feet up the tree.

When they were done, I walked across the street to talk to Jim, the owner of the tree company.  He has done three tree trim/removal jobs for me that I had to pay for.  I asked him if he was doing mine and Tami's tomorrow.  He told me, "you aren't on the list.  We have one small tree to do out by the front, but that's all."

Needless to say, I came in, called the office and left a message!!!  
======================= 
Pearl called this morning and wanted to know if I could come down because something was wrong with her computer--so I trotted up to her place.  We walked back to her bedroom and I sat down in front of the computer and she said, "I can't see any ports on the front of the computer."

I looked down at it, "Sure there are.  Two small plugs, like for your speakers, and two slots for your camera or something like that."

"Well, I tried to plug my speakers in there and I couldn't see the hole."

"Because..............?"

"I wanted to plug them in there so they would work."

"Are they still plugged in...in the back?"

"Yes...and they still don't work."
<done with this>

I reached back behind her monitor where her speakers are---picked up the cord with the electrical plug on the end and said,  "Honey, it doesn't matter where you put the plug on your computer.  Your speakers don't work because................." and I dangled the electrical plug in the air between us.

"Oh my Lord!  I just need an extension cord!"

"Yup.  Do you have one?"

"Yes, but you'll have to reach up and get it.  It's in a box, on the shelf,  over the washer."

So I went and got it, plugged the speaker plug into it and said, "Now, we have no room on the surge protector because it only has five outlets and they are full.  Where in the world can we plug this into?"

"I have another wall outlet right over here, on the other end of the dresser."

I had her plug it in, sit down in front of her computer and bring up one of her games and---VOILA' sound.

"That's what you have been trying to tell me for the past week, isn't it?"

"Yup."

"...and I was trying to plug both ends into the computer.  Oh good Lord!"

So--on to the next computer problem.

"Whenever I bring up a new game, there is a black box that comes on the screen and I don't know how to get rid of it."

"Okay--show me."

She Googled the name of a game and up the link came, then, instead of clicking on the name of the game, she clicked on a little green box with a check mark inside and up came a black box that said, "Bitdefender has found this site to be safe."

"That is the anti-virus and malware system we have installed on our computers.  It is saying that the game you want to play is safe to play.  The reason the message came up is because you clicked on the little green box.  Instead, just click on the name of the game."

Which she did and there was her game.

I came home.
============================

NOT MY CIRCUS!

Being Pearl's best friend and her surrogate sister is not for the faint of heart.  It takes a very strong, patient person--I was, at one time, but I am wearing thin.

She wants Merle to quit working--it is too hard on him, which is true.  So she figured out their budget, and wanted me to come up and look at it, because she knows I have a "chart" as she calls it for my budget that I made in Excel.  So..I took a blank one with me.

"I have figured out all our bills and when we pay them, we will have two hundred dollars left over every month."

"WOW...that's great!"

We sat at the dining room table and worked on the chart.  She had all her bills there and I let her put in the amounts in each "box".

RENT
GAS
ELECTRICITY
STORAGE UNIT
HOUSE INSURANCE
CAR INSURANCE
HEALTH INSURANCE
LIFE INSURANCE
COMCAST
PRESCRIPTIONS
GAS FOR CARS
GROCERIES
HAIR CUTS
CLOTHES
DINING OUT
MOVIES
SAVINGS
MISC. (emergencies)

When she said she had ALL her bills figured out--she meant...just bills that come in the mail.  She had not figured in groceries, nor gas for the car, nor hair cuts/clothes/eating out/movies/cat food/.  There was nothing for MISC.  Nothing going into savings for emergencies.

She was shocked when we got to the total figure for expenses.  She thought they would have an extra of $200 a month, when in reality, they will be short.

"How can that be!"

"Well you can cut back.  You don't have to eat out every Friday night--do it once a month instead.  You don't have to go to a movie every week.  You don't have to have the Comcast best line-up.  I have the Digital Starter package and I have over 150 channels..you don't need HD--trust me--you can't tell the difference in the picture quality. 

You don't have to go to garage sales and the Salvation Army every Saturday.  If you empty out your storage unit, that will save you fifty-five dollars a month."

"But.......I've got a lot of stuff in there."

"Stuff that you use?"

"No...but....."

"Empty it out and have a garage sale...there's extra money there too."

She wadded up the chart and threw it into the wastebasket.  "I can't deal with this right now.  I don't understand it!"

They declared bankruptcy two years ago.  They have no credit cards (thank goodness), but the extra money that comes in from not having those debts...Pearl just keeps spending on junk!

"Okay.  Well...we tried.  I gotta go home now and get some lunch."

As I walked back home I thought of a phrase I had recently heard---"NOT MY CIRCUS.  NOT MY MONKEYS."

They are going to have to figure this out on their own!!

Something's Happening Here......

What it is, ain't exactly clear....
=========================

Something is wrong with Merle.  

It started in the early spring--a pain in the left side of his back/side.  Twice a week visits to the Chiropractor--he thought it helped.

Then he went back to work at the golf course, where he sits on a riding mower all day, or repairs the mowers, or lifts heavy things, or.....whatever they want him to do.

The pain became worse, so he went to his Primary Care guy.  

Kidney stones perhaps?  Some medicine.  Drink lots of water.  Drink Cranberry juice.  The pain lessened.

Came back, even worse.  X-rays showed a bit of stenosis in his spine.  Anti-inflammatory was prescribed.

Then, he started getting a tremor in his right hand.  He spilled soup one night while we were out to supper.  Pearl chastised him for being messy.

He had trouble breathing one night.  Off to my Cardiologist to have tests run.  Stress test.  EKG, Electrocardiogram.  Ultra sound of the aortic artery.  Every test came back perfect.

Back to the Primary Care guy for ultra sound on his abdomen and CAT scan on his brain.  Could be cancer the doc wondered?  Could be Parkinson's?

No problems.  No tumors anywhere in his kidneys, liver, gall bladder, spleen. pancreas--nothing.  He did not have cancer.  Merle cried from relief.

Still the pain, still the tremor.  Over the weekend, he went into a depression.  Quiet.  Didn't want to do anything.  Tired.  Weak voice.

Of course, he and I didn't discuss any of this.  Men don't talk to neighbor women about this sort of thing.

Saturday, I went down.  I purposefully took a magazine with me to give to him.  I knew, when I extended my right arm and right hand to give it to him, my ET would come on nice and strong.

"Why is your hand shaking?"

"Oh--I have ET.  Essential Tremor--comes with age to some people.  No big deal."

"Not Parkinson's?"

"Nope and won't ever develop into that either.  The only time it really bothers me is when I try and eat soup.  When I bring the spoon up to my mouth...my hand shakes and the soup goes flying!"

He laughed.

Pearl called yesterday morning.  "He just sits there in his chair and stares at the TV.  He says he can't do anything anymore--he gets too tired and his legs hurt. I told him he had to quit work.  He told me we couldn't afford it.  I don't know what to do with him.  He's grouchy.  Marge told him he acts like Grumpy Cat."

I went up yesterday afternoon.  Walked in and plopped down in the chair.

"What's wrong with you?"  Pearl said.

"Just mad!  Grouchy! Depressed!  Pissed off at the world!"  I could see Merle listening.

"I can't do a dang thing anymore," I said.  "I fell while putting up my new curtains.  My leg just sort of gave out!  I can only work in the garden about twenty minutes and then I have to stop and rest.  I don't feel like doing anything.  I hate this arthritis pain in my hands and back!  The only time I don't hurt is when I'm sitting in my chair and staring at the TV!"

"You sound like Merle.  Maybe you oughta go to the doctor and get checked out."

"I have.  I went to my Cardiologist--everything is fine.  To my Primary Care guy--everything is fine.  I guess it's just an age thing, but....it sure is hard to admit...I can't even do as much as I did five years ago!"

"You should have climbed up on your desk instead of trying to stand on that window ledge."

"How am I supposed to get up ON my desk?  I can't step up that high."

"Well...I can't do anything!  I'll be in a wheelchair by this time next year!"

<this is not about you, Pearl>

"This dang tremor thing makes it hard to do a lot of things....I have no strength in my right hand anymore and I can't count on it.  I might reach in the refrigerator to get a jug of Pepsi and drop the jug on the floor!  I can't even write my name legibly.  My legs feel pretty good, but I go out to walk and by the time I get down here, they are tired and weak (a tiny bit of exaggeration--trying to show Merle that all is not hopeless)."

"Yeah...and you're both deaf!" she mumbles.

So, the three of us chit chat about Tiger's baseball and other mundane things and I come home.

Pearl called this morning and said, "Merle felt real good this morning...kind of chipper.  Maybe he is coming out of his funk.  I don't understand why he gets like that."

<of course you don't because you don't understand depression>

"I keep thinking if I encourage him more (nag) he will just get up and do what needs to be done!"

"It doesn't work that way, Pearl.  You will only make him feel more deficient...more depressed."

===============

Merle has always been strong.  He has always been very active.  He has always done all the chores around the house, including making the bed, vacuuming and mopping the floors.  He has always worked.

The Psychologist in me thinks:  Merle is 78 years old.  He can't do like he used to and is just realizing that and it is taking away that whole "manhood/provider" thing.  

He wants to quit work because it causes him so much pain and agony, but he thinks he can't because...Pearl is a spending machine.

The medico's tell him there is nothing wrong with him, physically, put he has pain, so....there is some hidden disease that they just haven't found yet.

He may be realizing that death isn't all that far away and that is a scary thing to ponder on.

He is coming into the realization that he is old!

<haven't we women in our 70's had to deal with that realization too?>

but he's a man---so much more difficult for them.

He is going to a Neurologist this week for more tests,

to see if he MIGHT have stages of early Parkinson's...oh yes, he just admitted last night that he has been having double vision.  Brain tumor?

Yeah--growing old is not fun!!!!!
=================
5:00 p.m. this evening--I got a phone call from Pearl.  I won't explain--I will just type it as it occurred and you can make up your own mind.

"I went uptown this morning.  Took that serger back and...I didn't get another one."

"Why not?"

"I don't need it."

"You don't have a place to plug in your speakers so they will work.  Your surge protector only has five outlets and you need six...or seven if you also want to plug in your printer."

"No I don't.  There are that many places in the front of the computer."

"I don't understand."

"You better get a hearing aid!"

"No.  I heard you...I just don't understand what you mean."

"Ah-hh <hurumph sigh>  On my old computer, I had my speakers plugged in the port in the front of the computer.  You have all the components plugged into the back of this computer.  I am going to take the speaker plug out of the back and plug it into the front and then they will work."

"They still won't work."

"Why not?"

"Because they need to be plugged into a power source."

"Huh?  You don't know what I'm trying to tell you....."

"Listen.  Stop talking a minute and listen"

"But..."

"Listen.  Your new computer has a whole lot more places to plug in your.....components.  They are all plugged into the ports in the back.  They are all working.  You don't need to use the ports in the front."

"Yeah, they are all working except the speakers!"

"You have a modem, a monitor, a keyboard, a mouse, a computer and the speakers.  You have a surge protector that has five slots for plugs...you need six slots.  You do not have enough plug areas to plug in your speakers."

"That's why I want to plug them in the front."

"NO!  You can't!  There is no electrical plug in the front of your computer. You need an electrical plug outlet--like a wall outlet--like an extension cord--like a surge protector that has six or more outlets to plug into."

"You're wrong.  The speakers on my old computer were plugged in the front and they worked.  If I take them out of the back of this one and plug them in the little round port in the front, they will work."

"Pearl.  You have a lamp sitting on the table beside you.  If you unplug it from the wall...it won't work."

"Well--I know that!  I'm not that dumb!"

"Your speakers are the same way.  They need to be plugged into the electric power that comes into your house from the outside.  You can plug them into a wall outlet or a surge protector--which is like a big extension cord.  It has nothing to do with the computer.  Your speakers WIRES are plugged into the computer...they are just fine, but they won't work until you plug them in...........look at the other end of the cord--it has a plug which needs to go into an electrical outlet."

"I don't want to talk about it any more.  I know you are wrong.  I'm going back there right now and I am going to unplug that little roundie thing from the back and plug it into the front and it will work.  I will call you back just to show you."

"Okay...talk with you later."
======================
I hung up the phone and just screamed!!!

I have a headache and I have not received a call back and...I am staying away from this until she figures it out for herself.  It shouldn't take more than two or three days--right?
===============
Oh yes--Pearl wanted me to help her with her budget so that she can prove to Merle that he can quit working and they will have enough money.

That budget session is a whole 'nother story--for another day--after I get rid of this headache.

The Hands of Time

Balisha wrote a post about her hands.  It got me to thinking.

We usually don't take much notice of how our hands looks until one day--you just glance down and there are your Mother's hands!  How did that happen?  The wrinkles.  The loose skin.  

I remember sitting on my grandma's lap and pulling the skin up into a peak, just below her middle knuckle  That skin stayed that way for a long time, it seemed.  I asked her once why it was like that and she said, "Because I am old."

Over the years, I have tried that with my own left hand and was shocked one day when the skin stayed up into that peak for quite a while--until I clenched my hand.  I am old!

I wish I had been more aware of the hand phenomena--I would love to have a yearly picture of my left hand--from about 45 on.  To see the subtle changes, instead of waking up one morning and it seemed my hands had gotten old over night.

I have long fingers--I used to be able to span an octave on the piano, until arthritis set into my thumb and started to draw it into the palm of my hand.

For as "big" as I am, I wear a small ring size.  A size 6.  I have noticed that on my right hand, my rings are now size 7's--on my left ring finger, a size 6 is a bit loose.  Isn't that weird.  It's the arthritis in the joints--which is worse in my right hand.

Balisha wrote of all the things her hands have experienced over the years--I share many of those things.

I used to have a heart-shaped age spot on my hand, but now it has eased into a plain old circle.  When I first noticed it, one day at work, I outlined it with a pen, I thought it was so cool.  Now, I have so many brown age spots that I can't even count--that a gallon of Procelana wouldn't help--that are difficult to even see under all the wrinkles and cross hatch marks.

Look at  your hands and stop and think of all the things they have touched since you were born.  It is amazing.

I like my hands, even though they are no longer pretty.  They are still useful, to a certain degree.  I hope they keep working until the day, they are laid, one on top of the other as I lay in my casket.  I hope the mortician has a nice make-up to put on them so they don't look so old!!

When I view my left hand from a side position, that's when I really see the wrinkles, the cross hatched marks, the knot of arthritis that is growing on the first knuckle of my index finger.
Not a pretty sight.

Then, of course my poor beat up right hand.  The thumb being pulled in by arthritis, as the little finger seems to be pushing outward and then, the poor 3/4 index finger.  I can't grip a pencil or pen, I can't open up a jar, BUT--this right hand still has a strong grip when I shake someone's hand!