A high anxiety morning for me.

Karen has been picking up my groceries, these long 4 months and last night I was thinking that I should get back to doing my own shopping.

This morning at 9:15, I loaded up the back seat of my car with 3 bags of bottle returns.
I checked to make sure I had everything I needed. Even some ice water because the A/C in the car only works occasionally, and I knew it was going to be hot.

I prayed that God would protect me and keep me calmed and relaxed. I even had a note at the top of my list that read, "You can do this. You'll be fine."

I got to Meijer and hauled all 3 bags of bottle over to the return place only to find a sign that said they were closed until they got more containers. Oh well, no problem. I put the 3 bags back in the car. The guy behind me was upset and yelled the "F" word three times in a row.

When I got in the store and checked my list, I realized it was "backwards" as I usually go in the pharmacy door and back to the pet food section first. Oh well, no problem I started at the bottom of the list and worked my way up.

No Brownberry 12 grain bread that I like. Oh well, no problem, I just opened a new loaf yesterday.
I thought I was in the Howell store, but I was in Brighton, and everything is laid out differently. I was confused. I did find Koegel's Thick Slice bologna that I like for my noon sammich, Karen hadn't be able to find it the last two times.

I chugged along. My back and legs were already hurting. I am so weak. My balance is off, then I just happened to look down and I was and had been going the wrong way in the aisles. They have arrows on the floor, directing which way to go.

I went out into the center aisle and just stopped for a moment. I checked the "saying" I had written at the top of my list, got my bearings and did manage to figure out how to get to the Pepsi and milk aisle going the way the arrow showed me I must go.

Finally done with the grocery part, off to the more quiet part of the store where the pet food is, then up to the pharmacy area to get some soap and finally plodded along trying to find a check out.
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My Bridge Card had been reloaded last week, so my list was mostly food products and knowing Meijer would rather we use our cards, instead of cash that I normally use, I had put $$$ in the bank so I could use my debit card.

Got it all checked out and loaded, reached for my debit and Bridge card and..........................

The mask was hot. The long, heavy hair on my head was sweating. Tears sprang to my eyes as I explained to Dave the Cashier.

"I forgot to being my cards with me!"

"No problem." he said. "I'll push your cart over there. I'll keep the receipt, you go home and bring back the cards.

I knew right where they were. In the envelope that I carry my cash and Bridge card to pay for groceries.

I may have broken the speed limit getting home, but all the other cars were doing 55-60, so I joined in the fun.

Ran into the house--there were the two cards in the purple plastic envelope with the sticker that says, "GROCERIES".

Back to Meijer, limped in and found Dave. He finished the customer he had and then signaled for me to come forward. He rang up the receipt and the card reader asked me if I wanted to take $6.00 off my order, through my M-Perks.

I thanked Dave several times and told him, "I would hug you, but I know it's against the law right now."

Trust me. I will call corporate and put in a good word for him and he will be in my prayers tonight, asking for a blessing on him.
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All the way home, I argued with God, reminding Him that the least He could have done was remind me about the needed cards. As I pulled into the park entrance, the A/C starting blowing nice, icy air. I guess that was God's answer--giving me a break?

I backed in the driveway, up close to the porch steps and again asked, "Dear Lord, help me carry in this stuff."

So weak in my arms I can barely lift the sack with two Pepsi's in it. Lack of exercise has turned me into a wimp!

I am exhausted. My back and calves are screaming, BUT I did it and I will be fine!!!

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Later----I'm sure you want to hear the rest of the story.

Putting the groceries away, I sat down to look at the receipt. The total charge was $84.49. I thought, "That can't be. The only non-food I got was a Thistle Seed sock for the birds and dishwasher cleaner." I looked further and realized that my Bridge Card hadn't been rung up and $84.49 had come off my Debit Card.
EGADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So, I took a big drink of cold Diet Pepsi, went to the bathroom and headed back up to Meijer customer service.

Credit my Debit Card? Nope had to give me cash--I thought Meijer didn't like dealing in cash?

Ran my Bridge Card for $62.12--the amount of cash they had given me as a refund on my Debit Card.

I decided while I was there, I would speak with the manager about my cashier Dave. I told the manager a brief scenario and he thanked me and told me, for every compliment, the employee gets 500 points---which later turns in a bonus of $$$$$. YAY

Then I decided, as long as I was out, I would stop into the Smoke Shop to get some more E-oil for my Vape thingie and a couple of CBD oil pain patches. I headed up toward Howell. They were closed.

The nearest Smoke Shop? East end of Brighton!

Turned around and back on the road and 6 miles back to that Smoke Shop. They DID have the brand I like, so I was in luck.
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I missed my Soap, which I can watch tonight, but I got it all done and....I AM NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE UNTIL ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something I posted on Face Book this morning:

I watched a TV show last night about Socialism and Communism--closely related.
So far, any attempt to have a Socialistic government, have failed and failed miserably--especially for the people living under it.
Look at , Vietnam, Cuba, Venezuela, Nicaragua to name a few.

First, Socialistic governments want to get rid of their old people, who they believe are a drag on their economy. Next comes the elimination of children and adults that are mentally compromised, e.g. Autistic, Cerebral Palsy, Down's Syndrome, any condition that would keep that person from being productive to support the economy. Of course, Christians are eliminated, along with anyone else who is not of the race of that Country. You are regulated as to the number of children you can have. Many girl babies are either aborted or killed at birth. The population needs to be regulated.

Everyone is equal. Everyone works for the good of everyone else. Everyone gets the same amount of food, the same clothing, the same everything. Everyone on the same economic scale, except for the government leaders of course.

Without Capitalism to help drive the economy, it doesn't take long for it to fail.
Everyone still gets the same, which is starvation and loss of more life. People eating the vegetables from the fields where they work, are shot. They are being selfish for taking food from everyone.

As more people escape from the Country, even less people to work the fields, clean the streets, pick up the trash. Killings break out as people rob others to get what they need to sustain their life.
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Now my mind is going into high gear. LOL

Free college, sounds good. Free health care sounds great. Let's pick a medium economic "salary" for everyone. Let's say we all get $100K a year--government benefit of course. You can work at a higher paying job, but you will still only get $100K a year. Your neighbor can sit home, watch TV and drink beer all day and he will get $100K a year.

College is free, but why bother going, knowing that with or without a college degree, you will only get $100K a year.
I can sit here, in my elder years, and get $100K a year. Free health care, so no need to worry about having to pay for health insurance.

If I get sick and have to go to the hospital, of course I've had to wait months to get into the hospital, the shot they give, to eliminate poor unproductive me, will be free.
Hallelujah!

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My friend Helen's response:

 I lived under that system after WWll. We were starving and freezing toward the end of Hitler's Dictatorship. He had to have food for his troops.

We were fed when the Americans entered our city. I don't know how long they occupied our city. Germany was divided among the Allies. We then were occupied by the Russians , Communism /Socialism. The same as far as I am concerned. Again there was starvation, freezing (no coal) and raggedy clothing. Our salvation were occasional Care Packages from America and food and clothing packages from relatives from America. Coffee and Cocoa was coveted by the shopkeepers and richer people, not for money, (money was worthless) we bartered for food. Usually bread and potatoes. Potatoes were the most versatile. We figured out that just a plain potato could be used in about 5 different ways. Jesus was always there for our family. " Give us our daily bread." Not every day but he sustained us.

Since so many Germans were fleeing a wall was built to keep them FROM fleeing.No one left and many died trying.
When my cousins turned 65 they received permission to get a passport and Visa to come to America to visit us. They were here for maybe 2 months. Not allowed to go to Canada. They wanted to see Niagara Falls so we took them on the American side. We took them so many places. They drew a crowd at Bill's Food Market in Durand. They became highly excited when they saw all the different kinds of pickles. This was an impossibility under Communism/Socialism. The were fascinated that people could have garage sales. 

Yes every one was the same. No matter where you went to buy your food, the price was the same. No specials or sales. You had a job, most times it didn't matter what your education was. Since all incentive to do better for yourself was taken away all were poor. My relatives were allowed to come because they were 65 and the government didn't care if they never came back. They would be less of a draw on the state.

If you became a Communist you had some more privileges such as traveling to other Communist country, even the Black Sea.

They had collective farms, crop and dairy. They didn't do well since the government owned them. The workers didn't care and worked their required shift whether they were finished or not and walked off . There was no incentive or reward, monitary or other wise.

After 29 years of poverty and locked up to keep you from leaving the WALL came down. Another cousin went to West Berlin and said " I stood in front of the store windows and wept uncontrollably." "What fools we've been." They had no idea of what they didn't have.

Our kind of government is the best in the world. You have the opportunity to make something of your self. That is why so many come to America. The people that hate America and seem to want to destroy her should go and live in a Socialistic / Communistic country.

I am sorry for my rant Judy. This just fired me up. I don't have time to read what I wrote so let's hope it makes sense.

Blogger and I were in a fight.  For some reason, it wouldn't let me post photos, which ticked me off, so I didn't post.

Grandson Stephen and Carolyn's little wedding was just lovely.  I think I liked it better with just 50 of us in the church.  It seemed more intimate.  I don't have many photos of it as yet, just the ones Karen took.  We had a nice late lunch out at her place afterwards.

Yes I hugged him.  I hugged all of my grandchildren and didn't wear a mask.

 Grand Daughter Helene, holding the great grand babies and cousins.

Della, Harrison and Benedikt

I got to hold Benedikt, for the first time, and whisper his blessing in his ear.

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Last Friday Karen took me for my first pedicure as an early birthday gift for me.  I did wear my mask this time.

I just about slipped when I got up out of the chair with those slippery little flip-flops on.

It is sort of a tradition that daughter Pam paints my toenails on my birthday, but since I wasn't going to see her, Karen took care of it.  My feet still feel smooth.

Pammie called me Saturday because she had to work Sunday, on my birthday.

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Tomorrow is going to be my first real day out.  I am going to the Print Shop to get a genealogy to barter with the hair stylist for a hair cut.  She is the best, but I can't afford $40.00 every 5 weeks for a trim so I will give her the genealogy and get a free cute.  As long as it took me to do it, it should be worth 3 hair cuts. LOL

Then I am going to Michael's.  I need to make arrangements to get the kids wedding sampler, stretched on foam core and framed.  Their Big Do isn't until the middle of August, so I do have time.

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Well, how do you like the way the world is operating now?  BLM who I understand is an extreme left-wing instigators who don't really care all that much about black lives, they just want to cause more division and riots and anything that will mess with the election.

Tearing down Statues?  Although I am wondering why the Statues of FDR and LBJ are still standing, as they were big time racists.  Back in the day, some chuckled when LBJ signed the Civil Rights bill because he really disliked blacks, but he was forced into signing the bill.

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The Virus is still with us and probably will be for months or another year.  We have had only 28 people died in our County.  All in nursing homes, because our Democrat Governor, like Democrat Governor Cuomo, decided it would be a good thing to put recovering hospitalized people in a nursing home for rehab.  Although those recovering people were still contagious.

I am wearing a mask if I have to go out to pick up a prescription and I will wear a mask tomorrow to go into the stores.  One of these days, I will have to get over my slight case of agoraphobia that has settled in from not being able to go anywhere, and force myself to start getting my own groceries.  I kind of dread that first trip and if I am in the cat food aisle, picking out different kinds of wet food and NO ONE is around, I am sure I will pull that thing down under my nose so I can breathe!!!

I watched the funeral.  All 4 hours of it.  I had to click onto another channel a couple of times when it got so noisy.  I don't see how those women can sing like that and not ruin their vocal chords!!!  and why some speakers had to politicize a funeral is beyond me.  There is a lot in this Country that I guess I don't understand.

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We are having massive severe thunder storms all this afternoon.  The weather man said, "Hurricane force straight line winds, which can as much damage as a tornado."  I mention it on Face Book and people comment, "Be safe."  I live in a manufactured home--there is no "safe" from a tornado.   I really wish my weather man would be more reassuring than trying to scare me to pieces.

I did move my car, out from under the big Maple, and to the other side of the drive.  I also have a small cord that I loop over the inside handle of my storm door, pull inside, close the front door and tie that cord around the inside front door knob.  Just to keep the wind from whipping that door open and slamming it against the porch railing.  That happened once years ago.  Ruined the door.

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I got all rebellious and smart alecky Saturday, when at the wedding and afterwards, I didn't wear a mask and was hugging everyone in sight.  I was even mentally swaggering around when I got home.  Pretty smug that I wouldn't catch any bad germs.

Now today, with seeing number of cases rising after the slight opening up, and the famed or infamous Dr. Fauci saying we are still in the early stages of the pandemic, I'm not feeling so smug.

Beauty salons open here on this coming Monday.  Of course, I was going to be first in line.  After the wedding, I don't really care what my hair looks like, and it looks weird, but I think I just might wait until late June, early July before I get all antsy and go out.  I have 7 bags of bottles to return.  4" of hair to get cut off, and the kids wedding present to get matted and framed, but..................

When our Governor finally allowed dog groomers to open up again, I got on the phone and called.  I told them I needed a shampoo and a hair cut.  We booked a time. They offered to clean my ears and paint my toe nails, which I thought was nice of them.  Then they asked if I wanted my anal glands expressed.  I hung up the phone.

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The wedding yesterday was beautiful.  Probably the most beautiful I have ever attended.  Only 25 people were allowed to attend, so it made it seem more intimate.  I had time to talk with my grandson before the wedding, gave him my blessing and his penny I had saved from the day he was born--1994.  There was lots of hugging and I even got to meet and hold my new great grandson.  The grandkids were a bit hesitant about the hugs I wanted.  Afraid they may infect me with The Virus.  I told them, it was worth it and I was more than willing to take a chance.

The bride's grandma and I fell instantly in love.  We sat in big comfy chairs before the wedding and talked and talked.  Then the boys--my Marcus and the groom Stephen walked us to our places.  I cautioned them to walk slowly because Bride's Gramma and I both have back/leg issues.

After the ceremony, bride and groom walked out, followed by the two witnesses, then the parents.  Everyone else just stood around, so I got up, crossed the aisle and took Bride Gramma by the hand and we walked out by ourselves.  

There was a small reception at Karen and Mark's the rest of the afternoon.  For some reason, the bride's Uncle took an interest in me and we sat alone and talked for a couple of hours.  If that kid was only 15 years older, I may have "Cougared" him, but from knowing he's the father of the bride's, younger brother, I'd put his age at early sixties, and that's just a bit too young.

I almost reconsidered when I learned he is a Master Gardener.
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Speaking of gardens.  Such a beautiful cool day today, I went out to dig the tall grasses out of my front garden.  I also have a giant Burdock living among my Hosta's.  It took me 30 minutes, sitting in my camp chair while digging.  I don't have enough strength to push a shovel in the ground, so I had to cut off the Burdock--knowing full well, it will just grow back again.
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Maybe I should make the long trip to the kids reception in late August and renew my friendship with Master Gardener, Scott?  

I do believe I've lost all logical reason.

Monday was the most perfect day.  My kind of weather.  69 degrees and sunny.  I had the doors and windows open.  It was lovely.

After my Soap, I decided to clean the house.  Scrub the bathroom and kitchen.  Vacuum and dust, wash some windows.

I had planned on going outside and weed the perennial garden of all grasses that are growing in it and sweep off my porch and the 457 million Maple Whizzers I have on my driveway.

Instead I cleaned house.

Yesterday, it was 90 with high humidity, I was closed up in the house with the A/C running.  What a perfect day to clean house...but I had already done it and it was too hot to work in the garden.

I watch the weather report.  I knew what kind of weather we were going to have, so why in the world would I switch up my days and clean on a cool day?

I think senility and my ability to think things out and get organized has flown the coop.

Today, it is 89 and high humidity.  I stare out the window and look at my perennial garden, with the grass growing taller and taller.

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I have been watching too much of the News, so yesterday I took great pains to notice things right here in my corner of the Universe.  I take these things for granted, most of the time, and just sort of look through them.  By the time night fell, I was very relaxed and calm.

 Mt east facing kitchen window sill.

The morning sun makes all the little pitchers shine

A Finch at the Thistle seed sock feeder 

My neighbor's Chinese Chain tree.

The yellow flowers hang in chains

The Red Bellied Woodpecker eating from

the bird feeder because I haven't hung out

his suet.

Red Cardinal.  

Whenever I post a photo of a Cardinal on Face Book,

someone invariably comments, "Oh, Someone you

love has come from Heaven to visit you."

Ah-hh, no, it's just a hungry Cardinal. 

Oh yes, my 457 million Whizzers on the driveway.

My question of whether I should plant annuals this year was answered for me.

I decided since today is such a lovely day--well, 60 degrees and sunny is perfect weather to my way of thinking, and since I have been bored out of my gourd, I would drive on down to the locally owned garden center.
Lots of people. Some wearing masks, I chose not to as I was going to be outside.

The long walk from my car had started my back to hurting, but I grabbed a cart and off I went.


No Impatiens. The employee said, "This has been a weird year. We have never sold out this early." I replied, "I have never planted this late."

Went looking for Tiny Tunias instead--my color scheme: hot pink, dark purple and chartruse.

I couldn't find what I wanted, and then, it just got too much. Too many people. All the end of aisle arrows pointing the same way. I asked another employee how to get out. She pointed.

I left my cart at the exit and took a few steps and everything sort of seized up on my. Not just my back, but my hips and thighs.

I limped along, having to stop every 10 steps and lean on something than continue along.
I got to my car, leaned my head back and said, "It doesn't really matter, does it God. Let's just go back home."

I have lots of pretty perennials that are coming into bloom. I have Rose of Sharon bushes that will bloom in August. I probably would have had a hard time carrying the pieces of my 3-tier planter up to the front porch anyway, and the money I took out of my emergency jar, is back where it belongs.
It's all good
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This whole thing is really starting to get to me.
The lack of exercise and yet, like today, when I went to the store, I was out of Diet Pepsi..it was crisis time, there feels like there is too many people, too much noise.  The mask makes me feel closed in.  I start to feel panicky and all I can think of is getting out as fast as I can.
For a couple of weeks, in April, I sat and watched the News most of the day.  That isn't good for a person.  Hearing the same thing over and over, can get into a person's head and make them feel defeated.  So, I stopped doing that.

We had an incident the other day here in this quiet park.  All of a sudden two police cars drove in, EMS and fire truck.  An older lady up towards the front of the park, was out on her porch with a gun.  Threatening to shoot anyone who came near her and then going to shoot herself.  
What in the world?
Things like this don't happen in this park.  We haven't had a break-in or even drunken people fighting incident since I've lived here.  
They said she had suffered a breakdown and they took her in for a psych evaluation.
I could empathize with her.  

Dar had come running up on my porch, pounding at my door.  When I opened it, she breathlessly said, "Shelter in place!  There's a hostage situation up near the front of the park.  A guy has a gun, threatening to shoot the hostage and everybody else he sees.  The SWAT team is here and even the State police.  Pull your blinds and lock your doors.  I've gotta tell the other neighbor's!"

SWAT team?  State police?  Hostages?  My first instinct was to hop in the car and drive up to see what was happening.  But I didn't.  I also didn't close my blinds.  I figured if the SWAT team was any good, they had the guy under control.

It all lasted an hour and later we heard what had really gone on.  I think Dar is the last person I'd want to be with in a "real" situation.  She is overly dramatic.
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We are going to have nice weather this next.  Nice and cool.  Maybe I can get motivated to go out and pull the grass out of my front perennial garden.
Maybe?
Maybe not.
It really doesn't matter.