Touchstones

Saturday I traveled up, through torrential rain, to my home town.  The Elementary Gym was where the Alumni luncheon was held.

When I consider all the graduates from this school, over the 120 history, there weren't many attendees.  The "youngers" just aren't interested in these hokey, old fashioned kinds of things.

I smiled as the program progressed, led by a prayer, group singing of, "In The Garden" and "Proud to be an American", where every single person stood.  I looked around, every single person, of the 100 present, was singing and praying.  Small town America.  Where else could you get away with this?  I love it!

Pammie was there, only 3 from her class showed up.  Her class was recognized for 40 years, ours was recognized for 60.

When I used to attend these Alumni banquets, they were held at night, we dressed to the nines and there was a dance after the meal.

I used to look at the old graduates and marvel that they were still alive 60 years after graduation.  Now, I am one of those old graduates.

My favorite teacher was there--still alive at 96.  He graduated the year I was born and was celebrating his 78th year from graduation.  He is sharp as a tack and looks as young as me.

Out of 36 graduating in my class, we have 19 survivors and 7 of us showed up.

If I had been smarter in High School, I would have accepted a date with the lovely man standing next to me, hung onto him and married him. He was one of those "late bloomers" and in High School he was kind of goofy, with the blush and sort of stumbling ways.  Now, he is wealthy and one of the kindest, gentlest, sweetest man you'd ever meet.  

Oh no.  I had to go for the popular jock and look where that got me!

The ladies in this photo are some of the ones who do lunch every month.  As you can tell, the one on the left front is not smiling.  We took 5 photos and she is not smiling in any of them.  She appears to us to be getting a bit senile and will say things that she should not.  I can remember, when my grandma first started in with her forgetfulness and senility, she quit smiling too.  Every photo we have of Grandma, in her last few years, she looked very sad and would sit with her head down, looking worried.  This may be happening to our girl.  
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Afterwards, I traveled out to The Farm to visit sister for an hour and then started home.  It was now getting foggy and dark (5:00) and I had a heck of a rough ride getting home.  I never would have made it if I hadn't remembered that in the console of the car, I had those special yellow glasses to use to drive after dark.  I put those on, and it made it seem a bit brighter outside, but it still was a long journey.
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It was a real nice time anyway and worth the scary drive home.  I wondered around the new parts of the school that have been added on since Jennifer was in elementary school.  This gym used to be our  High School gym, but with a burst of residency in the mid 60's, they tore down our two-story brick school, and added buildings for elementary school and built a new middle school and high school up town.

Lots of memories in that gym.  I even sneaked up on the stage, behind the heavy curtain and remembered choir concerts, Jr. and Sr. Plays, band concerts, talent shows--all those memories came back crystal clear.

Yesterday, still feeling sentimental and nostalgic and the fact that we ARE NOT having a 60th CLASS reunion, I got to wondering about those kids that live out of state....and really too far away now to come back home.

I have decided to send them all a letter asking them to write a brief synopsis of their life now and enclose a present photo.  Then, I am going to make up a newsletter with the info from each person and mail that out to everyone.  I used to make booklets for our class reunions, kind of like this, and pass them out at our Class reunions.  We probably won't ever have any more Class reunions and I have this real need to connect to everyone.  To have all of us be connected again.  After all...most of us started Kindergarten together and graduated together.  In a small town school like ours, we all were kind of like brothers and sisters.
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I started my next project.  It is the strangest pattern I have ever worked.  There are only squares with color symbols in them and no out-line of the figures.

Look at all the colors!

I think this project is probably going to be the most difficult one I have ever done.
I have started at the upper, right hand corner, and off I go.

Rainy, cold, mundane day.

What did I do today, that could be of any interest to anyone?  Such a mundane life I lead.

There is a Genealogy Group on Face Book, researching Millers.  They found me and wanted to know my background and ancestor's.  Since Miller is such an uncommon name--right up there with Jones and Smith, I explained that I was only a Miller by marriage.  Proud of the name, but.............

They insisted they wanted to see what I had researched on the Miller family that I was joined.  So this morning, I sent them all the direct line ancestor's of my husband's.  Maybe I will find someone related to my husband?

While I was on Face Book, I posted that I thought the President needed a dog.  Almost every President has had a family dog.  I see President Trump in need of a Rottweiler.  

A big dog, with a head as big as the Presidents.

Maybe a Black Lab?

I love Labs.

Just a dog that he could walk the grounds with, get some fresh air, clear his head.  He could rant and rave at the dog, and the dog wouldn't care  He could keep the dog under the desk in the Oval Office and when the Prez got upset, he could lean forward and pet the dog to clam down and find comfort.  Maybe then, the Prez wouldn't have to rant and rave on Twitter.  Hm-mm?

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After Face Book, I dumped all the wastebaskets and hauled the garbage pail out for pick-up.

While I was outside, I decided it was a good time to cover up the air conditioning unit.

I vacuumed the living room carpet as I had spilled some little glass beads when I was finishing up my cross stitch last night.

Added another gallon of water to my dispenser in the fridge.

Set up my TV tray, got my empty daily pill boxes out and filled them.

While I was watching my Soap, I took all the floss out of the project box and put it back in order in the fishing tackle box that contains all my bobbins of floss and other supplies.

I had washed my two completed cross stitch projects and hung them to dry a bit and after my Soap, I ironed them.

I will layer with paper towels and roll them around a tube to keep them fairly smooth.  Hopefully tomorrow, I can get to Michael's and get a frame for Della's prayer/poem and get it put together.

I already have another cross stitch project in mind.  So tonight, I will look at the floss color guide and go through the reverse process and take the floss needed from my floss storage box and put it in the project box.  I already have a big piece of Aida, 14 count, off white fabric.  36 x 30.

This is the next project.  Larger and more difficult.  This will take me through many football games, into the New Year and probably basketball games.  It is harder to cross stitch while watching basketball as the game moves so fast.  But--I've been cross stitching for 40 years, so I am capable. 

Did I ever show you my cross stitch, seasonal Angels?

These are mine that I put up every season change.  I made a set for Karen, and the Christmas one the summer one for Susan,because she loves Pink.  I also made a Madonna and Child one for Karen.  I made a large one of Hydragenas for Jen, as that is her favorite flower.  I've made many more.  My favorite one was a Russian pattern of a little girl who looked exactly like Jen's daughter, Elise.  She has it in her room.

I made each of the grandkids pillow, for their 2nd birthday's, of the thing they were most interested in at the time.  I don't have photos of the older kids, but these are what I did for Jen's kids.

and a Christmas tree skirt for my sister Susan and my step-sister.

On this tree skirt, my step-sisters grandpa had an ice cream shop in Byron, so I tried to remember what it looked like and put it in, behind the big yellow house--because her grand parents had the biggest house in Byron and...it was yellow.

I have done so many cross stitch things for people.  When I lived in Saginaw a lady visiting saw my Angel picture--the winter one.  She wanted to know if I would do one for her.  "I will pay you for the supplies and for your time."

When I told her that it took me around 200 hours to make, she changed her mind.  Even at 2.00 an hour labor, that picture would be $400.00, without the supplies and the frame.  LOL  The Angel pictures all have metallic threads and glass beads on them.  My favorites.

A lovely rainy day.............

Another bright idea of mine that didn't go quite like I thought.

It occurred to me this morning, as hard rain was pelting down, bringing leaves off my Maple trees with it and piling them on my newly mulched garden.  Next spring, those leaves are going to be all mushy and how do I get them off the garden?  If I rake them off, as usual, I will also rake off the mulch!

Okay.  So now I know why people mulch their gardens in the spring.  They look nice all summer.  So...lesson learned, on the side garden, that I have yet to cut back and clean up, I am going to lay down the Preen and the nice garden soil amendment and save the remaining (2) bags of mulch and do that in the spring.

Now I know why the mulch was on sale.  I may be toting bags of mulch in the trunk of my car all winter.  Oh well, the better traction to give me, driving in the snow?  Although, my car is front-wheel drive, so for traction, I'd need to stack the mulch under the hood of the car and that doesn't seem feasible!  EGADS!!!!!!!!
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I wrestled my porch wooden rocker into the house, to store it for winter, and put it over by the East window.  Maggie claimed it immediately for her napping place.

It was cold and rained most of the day.  With that going on for me, I spent most of the day finishing up my Nativity cross stitch.  I will wait until there is a 65% discount on getting it framed at Michael's.  I figure I can mat and frame the one I did for Della's birthday, myself.  It is smaller and I used to do all my own matting and framing.

This Saturday, I am driving up to Byron to our school's Alumni Banquet.  This is the time all who graduated from the school, gather.  It used to be in the evening, but now they have it from Noon-3:00.  Eating at 1:00.  My class is being honored--60 (gasp) years and the Old School Gal Pals are all going instead of having our monthly luncheon.  My oldest daughter Pam's class is also being recognized - 40 years-and she is going too.  I think the first one she has ever attended.

My sister is not going.  She says she can't be bothered with things like that.  Which seems odd to be because she loves getting together with her classmates.  Anyway, I will go out to The Farm to visit her after the "banquet".

I can't wait to see who comes up to me and says, "Mrs. Miller, remember me?"  and I won't because the last time I saw them was when they were 18 and they have changed a lot more than I have in these last 30 years.  LOL.  It should be interesting and fun and only $14.00 for all of it.

Night-Night

I've been working on the gardens--getting them ready to go night-night for winter.

What a job!  What would have taken me a day to do, back when I was 70, now takes me a couple of weeks.

I work for an hour each day.  I have my canvas chair ready to sit and rest when my back can't take it any more.

I didn't like the way my Iris bloomed this year.  I was missing about 3 that normally bloom.  They needed digging up and replanting.  I got that done using the garden fork to loosen the soil and pick all the grass and dirt off their corms.

Yesterday I wasn't in the mood to do anything.  I woke up feeling sick and didn't know if it was physical or emotional--sometimes the two are very closely tied.  My eyes didn't seem to want to focus, my hand tremors were worse than normal.  I wanted to attend the funeral of one of my sister's best friends.  She was only 64 and died in her sleep Friday night.

I am quite close to my sister's friends, because being 13 years older than them, when they were little, they all looked up to me and thought I was somebody special.  

I figured being in such bad shape, I shouldn't take the chance of driving up and back--50 mile round trip.  So that made me even more depressed and angry.

I got the garden all done weeding yesterday afternoon.  I went up to Lowe's and a nice young man from the garden center, followed me along as I picked out 3 big bags of garden soil amendment, loaded them on the cart, and 3 big bags of dark brown mulch.  

We had a conversation, because I like the chunky Pine Bark mulch spread on the island where my Lilac bushes and hosta's grow, but he said it was too big and chunky for a flower garden.  He showed me the kind he uses--the particular kind I really detest.  HAH.

He loaded my car and trunk.  I had him put the heavy bags of mulch in the back seat of the car.  I figured I could slide them out and into the wheelbarrow.

This afternoon, I laid down a nice coating of Preen, then put a bag of garden soil on top.  Planted my Iris, with their roots under ground and their corms riding nicely on top of the dirt, like ships on the sea.

I then got the bag of mulch into the wheelbarrow and went around with a sort of light covering--as he had advised.

I guess you are suppose to mulch in the spring, but I am hoping this will make spring weeding easier.  The weeds that do come up through, should be easier to pull out.

Boy oh Boy--bending over spreading mulch can be a real back breaker!!!!!

I still don't like it, but it is dark enough to look like good rich black dirt, so...................
I need a new edging for that garden, but Fred put it in for me, so it will never be taken up as long as I live.

Speaking of living...this gardening is about to kill me!  But at least the yard will look good when the kids sell the house.

The rocks in the back are from the farms I lived on.  I am more sentimental than a normal person should be!

Tidbits

Catch-up.

Sunday--there was a mass shooting in Las Vegas.  Monday, I sat and watched the coverage all day.  The Chief of Police in Vegas is now saying, they don't think the shooter acted alone.  Some people are coming forth telling that they heard shots at ground level.  Fully automatic rifles have been illegal to own for years.  The Bump Stock he used is not illegal, as the last Administration, who had a chance to make it illegal, didn't.  I assume it will be now.

Monday night, as I was looking at my only 2 week old hair cut, I saw strands of hair coming out from behind my ear.  These strands were 5-6 inches long.  The top of my head, the hair seemed too long already.
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Tuesday, I figured I would take a chance and call the salon I used to go to.  I know their hair cuts are $35.00.  For the last 10 months, I have been going to Fantastic Sam's = $17.00.

I called and asked the receptionist if I could get a hair cut by "someone who knows how to cut short hair."   She suggested Lauren.  I said, "The only Lauren I know there is the girl that used to shampoo my hair."

"Yes, that's her."

"I didn't know she was a stylist?"

So I went in and sure enough.  Everyone was so glad to see me back and I hugged Lauren!

"The reason you didn't know I was a stylist is because when you came in to see Tracey, I worked that day as her assistant and shampoo girl.  On the other days, I worked as a stylist."

Well, she got to it.  I could hear "hm-mm" noises coming from her.

"Tell me," I said.

"It looks like the last stylist you had just trimmed along your hair line in back and didn't shave your neck.  Plus there are these long hairs coming out from behind your ears.  On this side--your hair is an inch and a half, on this side it is two inches.  The top is several different lengths."

When she was finished, it looked just like it was suppose to look.  I didn't care if this was going to cost me $35.00, I would just not eat one day to defray the cost.

We got up to the desk to pay and the receptionist said, "Seventeen dollars, please."

"Wait.   What?  I has to be more than that!"

She showed me the ticket.  So I paid and gave Lauren a five dollar tip and made another appointment for 6 weeks.  Hugs all around and I drove home, happy as could be.
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Wednesday--I made out a list and got on my way.
Gas station was my  first stop--put in the usual $20.00 and on up to the Meijer store.

Got everything I needed and was only $147.00.

On over to Walmart where I picked up two prescriptions and got my Flu shot.  I did not get the "enhanced" Senior vaccine, just the regular one.

Isn't it cute?  They stuck this on me, it is covered with a thin film of plastic.  They stick the needle in the middle of the "target" and when they retract the needle, the film seals, with no bleeding and no chance of infection getting in.  No band-aid needed.  Better than I would have received at my doctor's office, where I usually get it.

As you can see, even though I am on a blood thinner, there was not one teeny drop of blood.  

I had rubbed my arm before the injection and afterwards, I massaged my arm downward and I had no pain at all--that day or the next.
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Thursday--I started working on digging up my Iris and cleaning out the perennial garden in front.

Oh my!  There is so much grass in there that it looks like part of the lawn, with flowers growing up through it.  What a mess!  

I got my wheelbarrow, garden fork, shovel, rake, clippers and hauled them out front.  I worked for a solid hour--loosening the soil with the fork and then sitting in my canvas chair while I pulled grass and its roots out of the soil.  What a mess!

My back and shoulder hurt so, that I decided to quit and continue today.  I had not heard the weather forecast, so I loaded all my equipment back into the wheelbarrow and because I hurt so bad, decided to just park the wheelbarrow behind the porch, instead of putting it all back in the shed.

I awoke this morning to a nice rain and a wheelbarrow filled with water, and my nice shovel, garden fork, and hand clippers laying in a puddle of water.  I could just see the rust starting to work its way into the metal.  What a mess!

As I only got about 1x3 feet done in the garden, I expect this project will take another 4-5 days.  ARGGH!

I have never put wood mulch on my perennial gardens.  Maybe it is time I did?  Will the Tulips and Daffodils grow up through the mulch?
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Tomorrow is our inter-state rivalry football game.  Michigan State versus University of Michigan.  Played at University of Michigan this year.  With their strong defensive line and our strong offensive line, we just might end up in a zero-zero tie.  LOL.

I would hope it would end like this one back in 2015.

An interesting theory

I wondered how an out of shape man would fire a heavy, hot, rifle for that long.
The link is here.

I'm not liking anything right now--so you might want to move on...............

A cool, crisp Saturday--perfect football weather.  The University of Michigan Wolverines, have a "bye", which means they won't play today.  My Michigan State Spartans do play, but not until 4:00 this afternoon.  They play the Iowa Hawkeyes and will probably get beat.   This is not a good year for my Spartan football team.  

But--who really cares?   Well, yes, a lot of people, but in the whole scheme of life--does it really matter?  I watch--because I always have and it gives me an excuse to sit in my recliner and cross stitch all afternoon.

I'm still fighting depression.  I get the occasional God Moments, which bring joy, which lasts a few days.  Then the loneliness and worries come back, nibbling along the edges of my mind.  

If you have never experienced depression, you wouldn't--or you couldn't, understand how it feels. Even I don't understand it.  

Keep busy, they say.  Yes--I do, but my busyness now consists of putting the gardens to bed, which means sitting in my canvas chair, weeding, and pulling and filling up yard waste bags, which leaves a lot of time for thinking or remembering.

Cleaning house, vacuuming--every chore is so automatic that I don't have to think about it, which...leaves a lot of time for thinking.

Get out and do something, go somewhere, visit someone.  Lovely idea too.  But, my major worry is how to get through the month on the money I have.  I am allowed $20.00 for gas a month.  I can't just get in my car and drive to places for the fun of it.  I can drive "up" to visit my sister and have lunch with the Old School Gal Pals once a month.  Even then, I worry about how much lunch is going to cost--not something I have built into my budget.

I have my budget all set up in an Excel spread sheet.  On the left are my expenses, with a total at the bottom.  On the right, my income, with a total at the bottom.  Then a space that reveals how much is left over.  That space is in red, every single month.

There is no room for emergencies.  That is my biggest fear.  The "what ifs".

So the beginning of each month, when I print out my budget, the depression begins all over again.

It also makes me angry because I don't know how I ended up this way.  Well, that's not entirely true--I do know.  But that makes me angry too because it wasn't my fault and then I have a pity party in my mind.  "Woe is me.  I don't deserve this.  It's not my fault!"

Shut up and live with the cards you were dealt!

When I worked and got $1,000.00 a month wages, I was sitting pretty.  Now, that amount doesn't even cover my expenses.  

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I haven't had a genealogy to do in 4 months.  That little extra bit I was making really helped.  I had tucked $600.00 away and used $100.00 a month to balance my budget.  Then I had to get my computer repaired = $200.00 and two months later, another $200.00 repair and cleaning or get a new one for $375.00.  At the time, a new one seemed the smartest choice.  If I am doing genealogy work, I need a good computer with enough storage and one that has the latest updates Windows, etc.  There went my "stash" and haven't done a genealogy since.

I had thought of putting a red light out on my porch--turn it on at night and make a little money that way.  Except, for every dollar I made, I'd have to give the guy 75 cents in change!!!  Besides that, with my old hips, I don't think I'd be a very active participant.  So no money in being a "lady of the evening."

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So--it is a GOOD thing that I have my Spartan football to watch and my cross stitch to do.  It makes me concentrate on something other than myself.

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Sorry for the downer--who wants to read such a negative blog post as this!!!  It's just that I would never tell someone this in "real life", verbally, so I guess you have to take the brunt of my feelings.  Or you could just move on to a more positive blog writer--they are posted on my right side-bar--that might be best for your mood!!