All of a sudden.....

because that's the way it always goes, my depression has lifted and I am smiling and happy.

It's always like that.  I can go to bed, content and happy and wake up the next morning in a depression that gets deeper as the days go by.  I come out of it just as quickly.  I have no reason why it happens like that, but...........glad it's gone.

Maybe it's because the sun is shining and it's 40 degrees today?  Maybe it's because I posted a Merry Christmas on FB to all my extra grand children--the ones I have met through my real grandkids, and I got really loving comments back from some of them.

Maybe it's because tomorrow at noon, we will meet at Karen's and have a good time.  Yes, my youngest and her family will be absent, but my original 3 will be there--the 3 of my youth and my son's cancer is not active, right now.  Right now!  Who knows what next year will bring, but right now--I am happy and grateful for that.

All five of Karen's kids will be there, plus my 2 month old great grand baby, and Pammie and sister Susan is even bringing her 3 grand children--my great nephew and nieces.

So--at this moment in time, and really, isn't that all we ever have?  I am happy.

A Cause for Celebration?

Today is my half-year birthday.  Is that a cause for celebration?  Nope!  There is always the thought, I could be dead by this time next year.  I suppose that is why I pack away my Christmas decorations--all carefully marked with names on the boxes of who is to get certain ornaments.  I'm like a Boy Scout--always be prepared.

Christmas is coming soon--Friday will be our family get together.  Not Christmas Eve, as it has been for the 77 years of my life, but Friday.  Bah Humbug!!!  Put the smile on my face and make sure I "appear" happy so I don't make anyone feel bad.

So this year, not only will I be alone on Christmas Day, but Christmas Eve also.  I may use those two days to put all the decorations away!!

This is what I posted on Face Book:

"I wish I knew where this black cloud of depression came from. I have no reason to be blue or sad or depressed, but I sure as heck am and have been for a couple of weeks. I won't listen to Christmas music because it just makes it worse. and, if I hear "I'll be Home for Christmas", one more time in a store, I am going to stand in the corner and cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was really surprised at how many of my FB friends feel the same way.  Even those who are married and will have ALL their family gathered together on Christmas Day.

I decorated to the hilt this year, because my sister insisted that it would make me feel better.  It just makes me sadder.

So what is there to celebrate on this half-year birthday of mine?  It is the Winter Solstice and as of tomorrow, the day-light hours are going to start to become longer.

I'm real happy about that, but honestly--I do prefer the Summer Solstice!

2016 Nutcracker

This year, my Precious Girl, Madeleine (Karen's youngest) was:

The ballerina doll that comes to life:

and the Shepherdess

as usual, she was flawless in her dance and won high praises.

I made a photo collage for her with Nutcracker photos from the years she has danced.

Ungrateful witch........

...that's what I am.

John got rid of the snow in front of andtwo passes beside my car.  How sweet.  Then he quit and went home.

My sister stopped in yesterday, but since the other part of my driveway wasn't cleared off, she had to walk in from the street and no cars are supposed to park on the edge of the street.  Then the mail lady came with a delivery and there wasn't enough space for her to drive in and she wasn't happy.  Then this afternoon, Bethie stopped in for a few minutes and she had to walk in from the street.

As long as John was out there, clearing off other's driveways, why didn't he do ALL of mine?  I was taught, as long as you are going to do a job, you do it until it is finished!  So I sent him an e-mail saying, "The next time it snows and you have your snow blower out, could you take a couple more passes at my driveway so I have enough room for visitor's to park?"

Yeah--ungrateful.  I'd do it myself, if I could!
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It's hard enough for me to get the gumption to go out.  It's not the cold--I was born and have lived in Michigan all my life and I have never and still don't wear a hat or gloves.  It's not that--it's the getting dressed and getting in the mood to go.  It seems to take such an effort.  

I had to get out today.  Had to--is the operative words here.  The young girl that I am doing the genealogy for, just found out her mother's lung cancer has returned.  So I got up to the Print Shop, got her pedigrees copied and put in the book and got the book bound.  It is ready to go.  It took me 45 minutes, but I did feel good after I got home.  Now she can come out and get it or I can mail it to her.  I'd like her mother to see it too--I think it will give both of them a lift.  

Tomorrow--the 3rd and final batch of spaghetti will be bagged and frozen.  22 quarts. 

It all began in the dead of night.........

and continued for the next 20 hours.   9.6 inches of snow fell Saturday night and all day Sunday.  I am so glad it didn't happen last weekend when I had the Nutcracker to attend.

 Merle-80 years old-arrived this morning to clean off my car

   and my porch












and steps

 and a pathway around my car                                                                                                                  

John (73) had already done 11 driveways when he hit mine on his way back home. 

The 30 year old kid who lives across the way, did his driveway--his own driveway and it wouldn't even enter his mind to help anyone else, I don't suppose.

What would we alone women around here do without Merle and John?

It smells like Little Italy in here---

Spaghetti sauce making continues.

It looks like there is a Christmas tree outside on my front porch.

Just a reflection from my tree in the living room.

----

Along with making spaghetti sauce, I am finishing up a genealogy.  Kind of a big one, that will bring me no $$$.

I met this young girl when was just barely 11 years old.  Her mother and father were not married--I was dating the father who had grown children and grandchildren.  This girl was the same age as his grandchildren.

He was kind of a rat--buying all the young ladies drinks.  Her mother would sleep with anyone who bought her a drink--so..............................

The mother was "supposedly" unable to get pregnant.  Well apparently not.  I always wondered if the little girl was really his.  I think he was so flattered to think that he at 51, could get a woman of 37 pregnant, that he never questioned it.  He supported the mother and her--although the parents hated each other.  She spent every other weekend with her Dad, who did absolutely nothing with her--so that's where I came in.

I would sometimes bring her to my house for the weekend, take her shopping, take her out to the farm, take her over to Jennifer's mansion so she could play with the baby, take her to our family gatherings.  She saw and learned a whole different way of life.  Nice table manners, respectful, lots of laughter.  She knew nothing of any of these things, at the time I first met her, she laid her head on her arm, on the table, and shoveled food into her mouth with her hands.  Everyone in my family was very nice to her and complimented her on how well she held and played with Andrew and Elise--Jennifer's kids at the time.

One of those weekends with me, she started her period.  So, I took her out to lunch and bought her a bouquet of flowers and made a big deal over the fact that she was now, "a woman".  No--I didn't explain the "facts of life" to her, I figured that was up to her Mom.

She is now 23, married and two little girls, 4 and 10 months..  When I mentioned on Face Book that I was doing genealogies, she said that she sure wished she could learn more about her father's ancestor's.  

I researched her father's side and then I wanted to do her mother's side too, but her mother didn't trust me with her parent's names. (?)  People don't understand that tracing a family tree is NOT going to show up family secrets or anything bad--unless of course, their ancestor's are well known criminals.  Finally, when explained to her mother, she gave me the names.

Well, my gosh!  I got back 720 years--19 generations on her father's side and 920 years--26 generations on her mother's side.  Ancestor's of hers fought in the American Revolution, and the Civil War and WWI and WWII, Korea and Viet Nam.  On her Mother's side, at one time her people owned an estate in England, that puts Downtown Abbey to shame.  She has a great family history.

It has turned into a large book and I think the information will make her feel good and might even help her mother's self esteem.

Of course, this search and book will bring in zero income to me, but instead of me mailing it, she is coming out to pick it up, along with her hubby and two little girls.  I haven't seen her in 13 years, so that will be my payment. :-)

No excuses--well maybe a couple?

Whip me with a wet noodle for not posting!!!  I have just been so busy and tired by the end of the day.

Saturday, Karen picked me up and we drove down to near Detroit (complete with all its people and traffic) to a party my Grand daughter Helene's MIL had for them.  It was a baby shower, house warming party AND the baby naming service.

Helene, Mike, Della, Karen and me stood up in front and they explained how Della got her full name.  Helene explained that Della was my mother's middle name and although she had never met my mother, she had been told what a wonderful woman she was, and also, she wanted Della's middle name to be after her and the great grandmother she was named for.

Then Karen explained that I had named her after my grandmother, Helene Mary, and used my grandmother's name for her middle name.  Karen went on to explain that her great grandmother had died on her 5th birthday, but she still remembered her, and how kind and loving she was and that when Karen was a teenager, she determined that her first girl child would be named Helene Mary, after her great grandmother.

I then explained that I was my grandmother's only grand child for many years and that she called me Precious until the day she died, and before Karen was born, I knew if she was a girl, her middle name would be to honor my grandmother, Helene.

Then the Rabbi blessed Della in Hebrew, and we all said a prayer in English and then all the women started singing and calling "Mazel Tov" while we clapped along.

65 women present!  Most of them Jewish.  All decked out in their furs and rings and face made up and hair poufed and perfect.  I felt like a yokel for sure.  All talking and laughing loudly, constantly, even while we ate--"Just being Jewish Mommas," Helene's husband said.  I actually had to get up and go outside and walk around the parking lot at one time, just to get away from the noise.  I am not used to such crowds and noise.

Gosh--we had a good time.  The MIL is a lovely lady--not with furs and rings and made-up and hair coiffed perfectly.  Her friends are warm and friendly and wanted to know all about me and my family.
Many said, "Ah--now we know where Helene gets her height."  They are all so short!

My little girl is a Grandma!  I can hardly believe it.

The other grandma, Reva

I got to know Mike's brother, Jonathon better-he is a hoot!!

We had a great chat. 

    Blessing--Reva, Rabbi Ruth, Helene & Della, Mike, Karen and me (looking kind of in rapture) 

I (for one) was relieved that Della is a girl or this would have been a Bris and I am sure I would have fainted when my great grandson had to be circumcised!!!

BTW--Della will also be baptized in the Catholic church.  I think I will sit by Reva and hold her hand--I am sure she has never been in a Catholic church, and me not very often.
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Sunday, was my 10th attendance at the Nutcracker Ballet.  This year Madeleine dance the part of the Ballerina Doll and the Shepherdess, herding the little kids dressed as sheep.  It was delightful and after 10 years, it seemed shorter to me this year.  My grandson Marcus, was one of the Arabian slaves that carried the Sedan Chair that the Arabian princess rode in, he also assisted in carrying her, high over his head, across the stage.  Their Dad, Mark was behind the scenes working the snow machine, and Karen worked the concession stand during the intermission.

I do not have one decent picture from the performance, which makes me very irritated!!  Just this one after wards of Maddie, me and Marcus--and it's not a very good pix.

The life size dolls that come alive.

Maddie in pink

 Maddie Shepherdess and Arabian slave, Marcus.

That is Maddie's real hair.  Look how long it is.

Going to the Nutcracker is always a treat for me.  No one, except the cast, is suppose to go backstage and the dressings rooms, but after the show, I always do.  After 10 years, I have watched these little girls grow up and when they spot me, skulking along the hallway, they scream, "Gramma Judy!  Gramma Judy's here!" and they come flying out of the different dressing rooms for a hug and their compliment.  Even the director knows me and when I say,  "I'm not suppose to be back here," she says, "Yes you are!  You're Gramma Judy!"

Age does bring its privileges!!!
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Monday--I got all my Christmas cards and letters completed.  I guess I have more than usual this year, because I had to buy an extra book of stamps.  My special daughter Chris, always sends me Christmas stamps--which I think is pretty darn caring of her!!!

Today--I started the "Boys Spaghetti Sauce" Project.  It take a day and a half to make about 5 quarts.  I need 20 quarts this year.  I haven't purchased any meat in almost a year.  The price of ground, lean Chuck is out of this world--and it isn't all that lean!!!!  Of course, I let is drain real well and also the Italian Sausages that I make the meat balls out of.  I want the sauce to be thick and no film of grease on top!!!